Life ain't been no Crystal Stair
by XDCaramel
Summary: Having been raised in poverty and through hard times, Bella Swan resents the wealthy who "have it easy". Edward Cullen is a rich arrogant man who thinks the world revolves around him. Can they convince each other otherwise? ExB All human. DISCONTINUED.
1. Gunnin'

**A/N: Hello! It is I, Laura. For those of you who are not already readers of mine, this is my second story. Please go ahead and check out my other story, **_**Shadow of the Day, **_**which is also a Twilight fic.**

**So please read and REVIEW!!! I LOVE REVIEWS! I FEED OFF THEM!!! So if you're a reader of my other story, please review this one too, at least just the first chapter. Now that I have two stories, I'm afraid updates for **_**Shadow of the Day**_** will become a lot less frequent. Probably about once or twice a week. I was going to finish that story first before beginning this one, but since that one is no where near done yet, I couldn't wait any longer.**

**Enough with me, I hope you like this story!!! REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Life ain't been no Crystal Stair

**Prologue**

From the time we were all children, we've always been told that "Money cannot buy true happiness".

As lovely and corny as that sounds, it sure as hell doesn't stop us from _wanting_ money.

Let my teach you the two most basic rules of the fiscal world:

1. Those who do _not_ have money, want it.

2. Those who _do_ have money, want _more._

Simple as that.

We live in an entirely material world. iPods, convertibles, designer handbags, cell phones, diamond jewelry, and brand name clothes are just a few of the pointless material items that none of us need, but want. Despite the fact that this is a material world, I am definitely _not_ a material girl.

I never had much growing up. I was born from a cheap summer fling that unfortunately ended in an unplanned teenage pregnancy. I grew up on the wrong side of town with a mother who was hardly home since she worked several different jobs. With so little parenting under your belt, you tend to do stupid things. I've done my fair share of stupid things. I probably would have done more stupid things if I had the money.

See? It all leads back to money.

Of course, today, I have things I could have never bought with that green stuff. Things I wouldn't trade anything for, not even my life. Although… money could help us become happy. If My mother had more money, she would have been able to raise me properly. I would have been a normal, average kid.

But do I really want that? I wear my scars, both the ones that you can and can't see, with pride. They show hardship and perseverance – and a daily reminder of where I've come from and why I'd never go back.

So I guess that in reality, money really cannot buy you _true_ happiness, but definitely _helps._

Because for me, _Life ain't been no Crystal Stair_.

**Chapter 1: Gunnin'**

I placed my suitcase and duffel bag by the door of Renee's small, old apartment. It used to be both Renee's and my apartment, but I was leaving for good. Looking around, you'd think I'd be nostalgic about the place I grew up, but I was far from it. I wanted out, and I was finally getting it.

This run-down apartment building was right squat in the middle of the poorest, dumpiest end of Phoenix, Arizona. The slums if you will. I was born and raised here, if you could even call Renee's parenting _raising_. It was more like _sinking_. I knew I couldn't really blame her though. My father, Charlie, left her when she was still pregnant. I never met him, and I never wanted to. Being a single mom with zero support from her parents left her little time for me since she needed to work so often. I understood _that_.

What I did not understand, however, was how she had so badly let herself go. I supposed all the stress and sadness had burst out, causing her to act like this, she didn't deserve what life had given her. But that didn't mean I found her actions excusable.

I walked up the stairs to Renee's room to say goodbye. Gently, I cracked open her door and looked in. As usual, she was lying on her bed, completely wasted. She only emerged from the bed to eat, use the washroom, buy beer, or go to work.

She was awake, but barely. Her cheeks were flushed and her eye pupils dilated from all the alcohol in her system.

"Mom?" I said quietly, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Uh…" she groaned, squinting up at me. "Bella? What's up, baby?" she slurred.

"Mom, I'm leaving now."

She opened her eyes wider and sat up. Her movements were jerky and uncoordinated. She looked at me accursedly. "You're leaving? What do you mean by leaving?"

I sighed; I knew she'd be too drunk to remember the conversation I had with her a week ago. I was hoping this wouldn't be a messy goodbye, but of course, life never gave me what I hoped for.

"I told you last week, Mom. I said I was going to live with Rose in Chicago."

"So you're going to just leave your poor mother here all by herself?"

"I asked you if you would come with me on the condition you seek help. You said no."

Renee moaned before slumping back on her bed. "Well, I don't need help." She looked back at me angrily, "You just want to get away from me. You're ashamed of me, aren't you? You just want to go far away so you can forget about me!" She shot up again and jerkily, but still quickly, slapped me across my left cheek.

I quickly pushed back the tears that were building up in my eyes. Although the slap stung, it wasn't what hurt me. Renee hardly got rough with me and when she did, it was always when she was drunk. She wasn't always like this; before, although she was hardly home, she was kinder. It was only after she discovered I was doing stupid things a few years ago did she start drinking excessively.

"Mom, this is why I'm leaving this place. I can't stand it anymore and I don't want my baby growing up like I did." I whispered the last part, my hand drifting to my swollen belly. I was about 4 months pregnant, so I definitely wasn't huge yet, but there was an evident swelling bump under the daphne blouse I was wearing.

Renee was surprisingly clear enough of mind to actually process what I had said and looked genuinely hurt. "Fine," she said looking away from me, "Leave. I don't care if I ever hear from you again or that bastard child you have in you." Her words were cold and harsh, like the crack of a whip. It would be a lie to say they didn't hurt. I tried to tell myself she was only drunk.

"Bye, Mom." I whispered before turning around and hurriedly leaving her room. I grabbed my suitcase and duffel bag and almost raced out the dingy apartment. Once outside the apartment building, I walked along the sidewalk, getting one last look at my childhood before leaving it for good.

The cement and brick buildings were dirty, old, and vandalized with spray paint. This was the "bad kid" neighbourhood where almost every boy had been in a weapon or fist fight by the time he was sixteen and every girl had lost their virginity (both willingly and unwillingly) by fourteen. It was the worst of the slums. The dirtiest hell hole on the planet, and it was so easy to get sucked into its madness.

I basically took care of myself since Renee was always working. Even as a little kid, I fended for myself. I had been in fist fights, threatened, robbed, and only wore clothes from charity.

When I was fifteen, a group of kids at our "bad kid" high school invited me to hang with them. It was in that circle of "friends" where I become addicted to alcohol and nicotine. I smoked and drank with them almost everyday after school if not during school. It was a nice escape from the sadness of what I was; a nobody. I wanted to start doing serious drugs like cocaine and heroin, and would have if I was able to afford it. I was already going broke buying beer and cigarettes, so the other stuff wasn't a good idea.

In that circle of people, I met Jacob Black. I really liked him. He was a cool guy and despite the fact he was a druggy and gang member, he was sweet to me. He actually had seemed like he was concerned when I told him about my lonely childhood and non-existent father. What's more, he didn't pity me since he was the same. I hated pity, and he didn't give me any. He understood me. It wasn't long till we started dating and then one thing led to another, and we slept together. More than once.

Then I found out I was pregnant. I was seventeen, and would be eighteen by the time the baby was born.

I had basically become Renee.

But I thought things would be different for me. I thought since I loved Jake and he loved me, he would help me take care of the baby and love our child. I thought he was that kind of man.

How wrong I was.

When I told him, he got angry, very angry. He accused me of lying and cheating on him, which I did _not_. It seemed like his way of convincing himself that the baby wasn't his and therefore he wouldn't have to take responsibility for it. Jacob Black broke my heart the minute he told me to never contact him again.

That's when I decided a change of scenery was in order.

I was a bad kid, a broken kid, a beaten kid.

But I wouldn't be anymore. It was like the baby was my savior. It forced me to finally get my head out of the clouds and back down to earth. I knew that if I wanted this baby to be happy and survive, I would have to change.

So I quit drinking and smoking. I hadn't taken a single drop of alcohol since I found out I was pregnant although it almost killed me. There were nights where I went into withdrawal, crying myself to sleep, the desire and need for the alcohol was so huge. Quitting smoking wasn't that much better. It actually took me much, _much_ longer to finally get myself together and put away the cigarettes for good.

No one, of course, supported my quitting. Even when they found out I was pregnant. Renee was too drunk herself to notice I was sober. My only motivation was the letters I would write to myself every day. They were more like little notes I would write the night before I went to bed. I would put it on my bed side table so it would be the first thing I see in the morning.

_Another day Bells,_

_Make sure you don't drink today, make sure you don't smoke. Be strong and do it for the baby. Don't even think about it. You must stop. _

_I know you can._

_- B_

After finally getting clean, the next step was to find an _escape_.

I didn't know how to, though. It wasn't like I had the money to just spontaneously leave. I had no family either. I had no idea in hell about Charlie's side of the family, but I knew that all of Renee's family had either separated themselves from her or had died.

I paced around for days. I had no idea of what to do. I knew I needed to leave, but how?

An idea then struck me. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

I contacted Rosalie Hale, a girl who used to live in the slums with me. She and I were best friends and probably the only ones with level heads. She was tough and strong and always kept me out of trouble. Her parents died in a car crash when she was fourteen and she went to go live with an aunt and uncle she never knew. They lived in Chicago and though they were not rich, they were pretty upper-middle class citizens. I had cried so much when she left for I knew I would be ruined without her to protect me. It wasn't long after that did I get involved in the wrong crowds.

I hadn't contacted her since she left and I didn't even know if she would remember me, at least not the way I was now.

She actually did remember me and was extremely giddy to say the least to finally here from me after three years.

"_Om. My. God! Bella!!!" Rosalie screamed on the other end. I laughed at her._

"_Hey, Rose. It's good to talk to you again."_

"_I know. God, Bella, how have you been?" she sounded genuinely curious and rather concerned, and with good reason. I wasn't living in exactly the greatest place._

"_Um, I've been better", I mumbled quietly._

"_Bells, what made you call me all of a sudden? I mean, I'm SO glad you did, but why now? After all this time?"_

_I suddenly felt guilty for asking her such a huge favour. I hadn't spoken to her or contacted her in years and now I expected her to take me in? I was so selfish._

"_Bella?" Oh, right. She was talking to me._

"_Um…"_

"_Bella, what happened? Something happened, I can tell."_

_I took a deep, quivering breath before finally answering, "Rose, I know this is a lot to ask and that I don't deserve it, but do you think I can come stay with you? In Chicago?"_

"_What? For how long?"_

"_Long enough for me to find my own place there. I want to move there permanently."_

"_Why?"_

_I shuddered. "I need to get out of here Rose. I can't stay here anymore. If I do, I will be throwing away my life."_

_There was silence on the other end for an immeasurable amount of time before finally, "Bella, what's happened?"_

"_Just please. Can I please stay with you? I'm not sure for how long, but until I can scrape enough money to get myself an apartment."_

"_Of course you can. I have to run it by my aunt and uncle, but they are both such kind people that they'd never refuse helping an old friend."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes, of course. I would never say 'no', Bella."_

_Relief coursed through my veins. I was getting a way out! _

"_Thank you", I breathed "If you don't mind, I'll tell you why exactly I'm doing this when I get to Chicago."_

"… _Fine."_

So that was my plan. I would go to Chicago to live. I would cut off all my ties from the poor side of Phoenix and turn my back on that life forever. I wanted Renee to come with me. I asked her if she would, but only if she promised to get help for her alcohol addiction upon getting there. Of course, alcohol was more important to her, so she defiantly refused. I loved my mom, probably not nearly as much as a daughter should, but Renee and I never bonded, so I loved her, but not enough to not leave her there. It may have been cruel, but I needed to think of my baby first.

* * *

Getting out of customs, I scanned the airport, looking for Rose. I remembered clearly what her fourteen-year-old self looked like, so I just had to look for the slightly older version of her, right?

I finally spotted her. I knew it was her, it had to be. She was even taller than before and more gorgeous, if that was even possible. She never looked more like a supermodel like she did now, her wavy blonde hair cascading down her back and her beautiful violet eyes looking around the airport for me.

"Rosalie!" I called. She spun around and smiled a smile so wide and beautiful; it lit up the whole airport.

"Bella!" She cried happily, before running to me and hugging me fiercely. It was only as she hugged me did she notice my swelling baby bump. She quickly unlatched her arms upon feeling it and looked at my stomach, her eyes wide. She look back at me and seemed at a loss for words. I only smiled sheepishly.

"Oh…" she whispered finally. "This is the reason you needed to get away?"

I nodded. "This baby was like my wake-up call, Rose. I knew that I don't want him or her to end up like me, so I decided to get out."

Rosalie smiled a teary smile and hugged me again, softly this time, minding the baby.

"Well, I'm glad you finally got enough sense to get out of that hell hole." We started walking, her carrying my suitcase while I held my duffel bag. "You'll love Chicago, Bells. It's so much better than that other dump. Actually, anywhere is better, but Chicago will be good for you. And for the… baby." She shook her head. "God, I can't believe you're going to be a mom. Weird, huh?"

I heard the very slight hint of envy in Rose's voice. She always loved kids. Nevertheless, I knew she was happy for me and glad I left our old town. She had been so considerate over the phone when we spoke to each other. It was so easy, as if the three years of separation didn't affect us at all.

The Hales' house in Chicago was wonderful. Rosalie's aunt and uncle, Heather and John, were the definition of kindness. They didn't even get angry or judgmental when they saw I was pregnant. I guess that with what Rosalie told them about me and where I used to live, they simply saw me as a good girl in the wrong place.

Rose even had a nice cousin, Jasper, who looked a lot like her; golden hair, pale skin, and deep eyes, although his were blue. He was tall, lean, and very handsome.

I felt ugly surrounded by this family of beautiful people. I always felt ugly around the goddess, Rosalie, but she always had assured me I was very beautiful myself.

I was a completely average girl; thick dark brown hair, bark brown eyes, and pale skin. I was 5 ft 4" and 110 pounds. I wasn't actually ugly, just normal.

Despite my less-than-gorgeous looks, I couldn't help but hope that my baby looked just like me. I didn't want a trace of Jacob Black in him or her, even though that was probably impossible since he was the father. I still didn't want him or her looking like him though. I didn't want any reminder of my past, especially him. Now I had gone past the heart break, when I thought of Jacob, I only felt anger.

"So, Bella. Why don't you tell us your story?" Rose asked me kindly.

I gave them all a small smile. They deserved to know, after all, they took me in even though they didn't even know me.

So I told them. I let it all out. By the end of my tale, Heather and Rose had tears in their eyes. Not a single one looked shocked or angry. They were nothing but understanding and comforting. What did I do to deserve such kindness?

**5 months later**

"ARGH!!!" I screamed, or rather, shouted.

"Come on, Bells! You can do it!" Rosalie encouraged as I tightly gripped her hand. My water had broken 16 hours ago and I was giving birth. After nine months of freaking hormones and 16 hours of freaking contractions, I wanted this baby OUT!

Suddenly, the door to the room I was in burst open as Jasper charged in. Over the past 5 months Jasper had become like a big brother to me. He was two years older and just as protective of me as he was Rosalie. He was always such a calm person that it surprised me when he burst through the door so frantically.

He froze when he saw my legs spread out, the baby on the verge of coming out. He obviously was extremely shocked by the view, and fainted on the spot.

"Jasper, you IDIOT!" I yelled at his unconscious body as someone dragged him out of the room. Jeez, these raging hormones were seriously making me bitchy. That, and the fact I was in freaking PAIN!

"Come on, Bella", Rose said soothingly, brushing hair from my face.

_Suuuure… you just wait till you have a frickin baby, Rosalie Hale! _

I was still living with the Hales since Heather nearly went hysterical when I said I should get my own apartment. She insisted that I was in no condition, both physically and financially to support myself and the baby. She was right, of course.

I didn't deserve such warm-hearted people, and I couldn't be any more grateful to them.

"One last push!" Dr. Hernandez said.

Gritting my teeth, I pushed, screaming in the process. Couldn't babies come out of somewhere less painful? I swear, I was not having anymore ki-

My thoughts were interrupted by the wailing of a little baby. My baby. Oh my God, that was _my_ baby.

Rosalie beamed at me as she passed me a small pink bundle.

"It's a girl", she whispered, her eyes teary.

I looked down at the little thing in my arms and I felt tears course down my cheeks. She was perfect. I gently touched the soft little cheek on the little pink face wrapped in the blanket. My heart burst with love at the mere sight of her. I was going to make _sure_ she would be given the best childhood ever. The childhood I never had. I would fight to make sure she was happy and safe. She would be a brilliant student and friend. She would learn to play piano and soccer. She was my hope, my future. I was gunnin' on her.

"What are you going to name her?" Rose asked quietly, her eyes glued to my little girl's face.

"Marie", I said, kissing her tiny nose. The corner of her mouth twitched upward. "See? It fits and she likes it already."

After Marie was all cleaned up I was moved to another room. The rest of the Hales were gathered around my bed (Jasper having recovered form his fainting spell. Snort.).

"Rose?" I asked.

Rosalie looked up from Marie who was in her arms.

"Can you… would… would you like to be Marie's godmother?" I asked both nervously and hopefully.

Rose looked shocked, then her eyes lit up. "Really?"

I nodded. "She even has your name. Marie Rosalie Swan."

Rose beamed and hugged me, careful not to squish my baby between us. "Thank you Bella. I'd be honoured."

**5 years later**

"Marie, come on baby, wake up", I said, gently shaking my angelic five-year old daughter. She only sighed and rolled over.

Grinning, I leaned over and blew a raspberry right into her cheek. Laughing and squealing, Marie pushed me away playfully.

"Okay, Mommy. I'm up now" she said in her soft, little girl voice. Music to my ears. I hugged her and kissed her cheek, before going to the kitchen to make breakfast. Marie was able to dress herself in the morning. She was just so cute that way.

Within a few minutes, my little angel came out of her room in our two-bedroom apartment and seated herself at the table to eat. She was adorable. Unfortunately she had Jacob's black hair, but it was in curls, something I suspected came from Charlie since Renee didn't have them and I sure didn't. Everything else, though, was me. She had my pale skin and big brown eyes. They looked so much more cute and beautiful on her than me. With her pale skin, black curls, and baby lips, Marie was so gorgeous.

"Ready for school?" I asked. Marie was in Senior kindergarten at the elementary school a few blocks away. I dropped her off to school every morning on my way to work. I worked as a secretary at the large Cullen Incorporation. A company that basically owned many stores, restaurants, and other businesses. It started off small but grew into an entire empire. I only worked as a lowly secretary on the sixth floor of the huge building it resided in, although the job did pay extremely well compared to other secretary positions.

My co-worker, Angela told me a new co-owner was coming to fill the larger empty office next to mine. That office had been empty since the previous Hot shot was fired by the CEO of Cullen inc, Mr. Carlisle Cullen. He was the son of the man who created the company and inherited it from him.

"Yup" Marie replied, taking a bite of her waffle. I smoothed Marie's curls as I drank my coffee. I was so grateful for her. Sure, times were a little rough with money since I didn't just have myself to look after (I had two jobs), but I wouldn't trade Marie for the world. She really was the reason that saved me from myself. From my past.

Washing the dishes, I took Marie's hand and went out to the car with her. After strapping her into her car seat, I began on the familiar route to her school.

Since I didn't get off work until five, Rosalie, who worked much more flexible hours, picked up Marie from school and looked after her till I was able to pick her up from Rose's house.

My other job was a small one. I worked at the local Starbucks every Saturday, from 9 till 3. It wasn't a big job. Since I had been working there every since Marie was born, I was given a raise from minimum wage, so I was even paid a little more than the other newer employees. I only worked there for extra cash for Marie's education and other necessities. I would've probably needed a third job if Cullen inc. didn't pay me so well. When Marie was born, I was able to gain financial help from the government. With the borrowed money, I was able to find a job and a small apartment to stay at with my daughter. After I was off to a good start, I started supporting us on my own. Heather and John wanted to help fiscally, but I refused. They had already helped me enough.

Marie and I had a good life. Of course, I had to be more conservative with money than other mothers. I couldn't just go out and buy Marie a toy because she wanted it. It would waste needed money. Nevertheless, it was good. I was able to spend every evening and a full day on Sunday with my baby. Unlike Renee, who was too busy working, I could give her baths, read her bedtime stories, play with her at the park, and take her to the zoo. At only twenty three years old, I was doing well.

A year after Marie was born, I took business classes at a community college, landing me with the skills to be hired as a Cullen Inc. secretary.

I hadn't heard from Jacob since I had left Phoenix. I wasn't sorry and I didn't miss him. Marie never questioned me about her father, which was a relief. I would probably tell her the truth once she was older.

I stopped the car, a used one I bought cheaply off of Jasper since he got a new one, at a red light. My window was open since it was a rather nice day in the Windy City. I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel, Marie was singing along to the High School Musical songs coming from the stereo **(my 5-year-old cousin **_**loves**_** HSM)**.

Sounds of yelling came from outside and I turned my head, curiously.

The door to an expensive and new-ish looking condominium opened and a man walked out. I didn't get a good look at his face, but I could see he had sort of penny coloured hair, like bronze, all disarrayed and messy. It actually looked attractive and cute. He was tall and pale, but that was all I could make out. An older, scruffier man rushed out after him.

The bronze-haired guy was storming towards a silver Volvo. I suspected he was off to work since he was wearing a suit.

"Please, Mister-"

"No!" Even in his anger I was able to detect how his voice was like velvet… musical. "I already told you. I wanted a jacuzzi in my condo, and you gave me one without one. That annoys me to no end and shows me what poor service you provide your residents! If I will now be living here, I expect to get what I ask for!"

God, another rich spoiled brat. Conceited, selfish, and arrogant. Working at a big company, I had met many asses like him.

I always resented the wealthy, ever since I was a child. Not the rich folk who actually became loaded through hard work. No, I resented those born rich. They basically had everything given to them. They were bottle fed their whole lives, never having to work for what they want. It wasn't fair and I resented them for it. What's more, because of the easy handouts they got, they became spoiled and self-absorbed, like the world revolved around them. It was ridiculous.

Especially this guy, who was complaining he didn't have a jacuzzi?! Try going to the Slums of Phoenix where I had spent the first 17 years of my life, then complain.

"What's wrong Mommy?" Marie asked. She was so observant, she could tell when I was upset.

"Nothing, baby." I said smiling at her in the review mirror. And nothing was wrong, at least not anymore.

How was I to know that that "nothing" would soon turn into "everything"?

**A/N: Whew! Hit or Miss?**

**That was the longest chapter I've ever written so far, so please REVIEW!!! Let me know if this story is good enough to continue :D**

**Peace out.**


	2. Bad Day

**A/N: So I'm back with chapter two!!! Anyway, I saw the Twilight movie and I personally enjoyed it :D I wouldn't go as far to say it was spectacular or anything, but I thought it was pretty good. If you want to read my full thoughts on the movie, go to my other story, **_**Shadow of the Day**_**, and they're at the bottom of Chapter 13.**

**So, I'm happy I got a good response to this new story. I'm uber excited and of course, since people liked it, I will be continuing it. Woot!**

**So on with Chapter TWO!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

"_What's wrong Mommy?" Marie asked. She was so observant, she could tell when I was upset._

"_Nothing, baby." I said smiling at her in the review mirror. And nothing was wrong, at least not anymore._

_How was I to know that that "nothing" would soon turn into "everything_"_? _

**Chapter 2: Bad Day**

"Have a good day, sweetie." I said as I let go of Marie's hand.

"Okay Mommy. Bye." Marie gave me a butterfly kiss **(in case you don't know, butterfly kisses are when you flutter your eyelashes on someone's cheek so they feel the tickly feeling. They're sweet)** before skipping off to join her friends, black ringlets bouncing.

Checking my watch, I jumped back into my car and started driving to work. It was only another 15 minutes before I pulled into the familiar parking lot of the Cullen Incorporation main site. They had many other sites scattered across the globe, but this was where they had started. Chicago. Cool, huh?

By the time I made it to my office, the new co-owner guy wasn't there yet, the large macho-man office having still been empty, so I went to go get some coffee before beginning my secretarial duties for the day.

When I got to the staff's lounge on my floor, I saw my two fellow co-workers, Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. Jessica was a secretary like me who worked on the same floor, but for a different person of course. Lauren was the personal assistant some supervisor or manager, I couldn't remember who. She worked on the eighth floor, but came down to the sixth whenever she could to gossip with Jessica.

I quietly walked up to the coffee pot, pouring myself a mug. I was a bout to leave when Jessica rushed up to me.

"Oh my God, Bella! You are _so_ lucky!" she squealed. It didn't really matter how many times I had dropped the hint to her; Jessica was one of those people who didn't know how the hell to shut up. Seriously, I could go all day listening to her talk and not responding to her at all, and she wouldn't notice. It was actually kind of funny sometimes when it wasn't annoying.

"Hello, Jessica. Hello Lauren." I said politely to the two. Jessica had always been fairly nice to me, she may had been annoying, but not mean as of yet. Lauren on the other hand hated me from day one. I wasn't exactly sure of what I had done to offend her, but it was something. Even now, when I had only said hello, she was glaring at me icily. I debated recommending her to a psychiatrist for hate and anger issues.

"Did you hear what I said? You're so lucky, Bella!" Why now of all days she want a response from me?

"Why am I so lucky, Jessica?" I sighed, walking back out towards my office, Jessica eagerly followed me, Lauren did too, but much more sourly.

"You've heard about the two new super hot shots that are coming in today, right? The ones that are being given super high positions?"

I nodded.

"Well, I saw them in the lobby literally like, three seconds, before rushing to the lounge to talk to Lauren. They must've gotten in like, _right_ after you!"

"And what does this have to do with me being lucky?" I asked, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"I'll get to that. So, I saw them, and let me say, _Woohoo! _They are two _fine_ pieces of man. I mean, they are _gorgeous!_ I nearly fainted from the sight of them!" She started fanning herself with her hand and threw her head back for dramatic effect.

"That's nice and all Jess, but aren't they like 40-something year olds? Don't you think that's a tad inappropriate?" I asked. That would be like checking out someone the same age as your uncle, or even dad… ew.

"But that's the best part!" she squealed.

"The best part is checking out someone twice your age?!"

"Ew, no. I mean, the best part is that they're young! Like young, _young_. Like, our age, young. They couldn't have been more than maybe 25 or 26 years old! That's totally in our age range!"

"If they're that young, how the hell did they gain such a high position?" I asked, this time I was genuinely curious. Maybe they could share their secrets with me. Hint, hint.

"Oh, well they didn't get promoted to those positions the way normal people do," Jessica explained, "Apparently they're Mr. Cullen's sons. He's decided to put them as the two new co-owners of the corporation. He's still going to be the big CEO and everything, but he's trying to prepare them for when he retires and they inherit the company. It's a lot of responsibility, considering this place is like the big cheese of the business world."

Ah, they were one of _those_ richies. The ones who were born rich a privileged. I knew it wasn't there fault for being born into a wealthy family, but it didn't justify them being basically handed everything in life that us commoners had to do real hard work for. Like those Cullen boys. According to Jessica, they weren't much older than I and they were given two of the highest positions in the company. They didn't have to work for it. Unlike me, who had to pick myself up from being the gum at the bottom of someone's shoe to an actual working class citizen. I had probably worked my ass of ten times as hard as they had, if not more, and I was only a secretary.

I may have sounded bitter, but you had to admit, that was hardly fair.

"I'm still missing the part about me being lucky, Jess." I said. If anything, I was _unlucky_. One of those guys was likely to be my new boss and I really didn't want to work for a pampered, egotistical brat.

"Oh, Bella, patience! I said they were both gorgeous, right? Well, the older brother, Emmett Cullen, is a really big muscle man. Complete hotness! I can't even begin to imagine what those muscles would feel like under your hands, with no clothes between them…"

"Jessica, please!" I said, cringing at her sexual fantasies.

"You have to admit it Bella, it would be _hot_! But the younger brother, Edward Cullen…" she suddenly got a dreamy, far off look in her eyes. I rolled my eyes as we reached my office and I sat down, waiting for Jess to come back down to earth,.

She quickly snapped out of it. "Oops, sorry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Edward Cullen," she let out a content sigh as she leaned against the front of my desk. "he is the… the… God, I can't even begin to describe just how gorgeous and godly he is. Just looking at him made me feel orgasmic!"

"TMI Jessica."

"Sorry, but you just have to see him for yourself, Bella! And you will!"

"Huh?"

"He's going to be your new boss! I mean, how lucky is that?! Not only do you get one of the hot Cullen boys for a new boss, but you get the younger, sex god one!"

"Um, that's nice and all, Jess, but why should his "sex god" status of looks matter to me? He's going to be my boss, not my boyfriend."

"But office romances are just so… _dangerous_, you know? But whatever. Not like I'll give you a chance to take him, because _I'm_ going in for the kill!"

I opened my mouth to make another remark on her rather disturbing comments, when I heard laughter coming from the doorway to the office. It was a deep musical laughter mixed with a twice as deep booming one.

My head snapped over to see two men in their mid-late twenties laughing together at the doorway. There were a few of men behind, one of them I recognized as Mr. Carlisle Cullen, the CEO, and the other two people were a man and woman who were assistants or Mr. Cullen. The three of them were trying not to laugh, but look as if they were ready to explode. The two other younger guys had obviously given up trying to not laugh.

Oh God, did they hear our conversation. Must have since they were laughing so hard. I blushed a deep red and quickly averted my eyes. I didn't get more than a quick glance at all of them and I wasn't planning on looking back for a closer look.

I then remembered that Jessica had _far_ more reason to be embarrassed that I did and that helped me go back to my normal pale colour, but only a bit. Lauren, who I had almost forgotten was there, looked shocked, her mouth wide open as she stared wide-eyed at the people.

"Excuse me ladies, but I must show my son his new office." I heard Mr. Cullen say, my eyes still glued to the shiny wood of my desk.

"Don't you mean your completely _gorgeous, sex god_ sons?" a deep voice said, between snickers. I suspected it belonged to the guy with the booming laugh.

That just set off the two idiotic clowns again before both Jessica and Lauren mumbled some kind of apology and scurrying away. They, especially Jessica, looked so small and humiliated that I almost started laughing myself. I was more successful on containing myself though. I had to keep up my professional demeanor.

When Lauren and Jess were gone, I finally looked back up to see various pairs of very amused eyes looking back at me. The ones that stood out the most though were the bright emeralds of one of the younger guys. They were the most beautiful and deep shade of green I had ever seen. I felt like I was drowning in them.

When I was able to surface, I attached the green to the rest of him and had to stop myself from gasping softly. He was more than gorgeous, he was impossibly _perfect_. He had a fine, angular face, pale skin like mine, and probably the sexiest body ever, even when it was covered in a black office suit. He was beyond handsome. Human words couldn't describe him.

When my eyes reached the top of his head, I saw a disarray of reddish-brown hair, like bronze. It was so unique and rather… familiar. Had I seen it somewhere before?

"Miss Swan, these are my two sons, Emmett," Carlisle Cullen said, pointing to the bigger muscle man. Jess was right; he was extremely handsome with really big muscles and dark curly hair. "and this is Edward. He will be your new boss." He then pointed to the gorgeous bronze haired guy, the one with the intense eyes.

_That_ was the godly man Jessica was talking about? My God, Jessica's description certainly didn't do him any justice. He was beyond godly; he _was_ a god.

Edward Cullen smirked at me knowingly, his face smug.

Right. He was the son of the world's most wealthy business man. He was a spoiled, pampered, and probably a self-absorbed ass. Judging by the look on his face, he was used to women checking him out and what's more, he liked it.

It didn't matter how good-looking he was, they were all the same. People like him needed to be shown what _true_ hard work was.

I stood up and politely outstretched my hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Cullen." I said, sounding indifferent and detached.

Still smiling smugly, he took my hand and shook it. As soon as our skin touched I felt a shock go through me, like an electric current. I quickly let go of his hand and he did the same. I knew he felt it too, for I could see the surprise in his eyes, but he quickly covered it up again.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Miss Swan." He said, his voice was soft like velvet, and… where had I heard it before. Then it came back to me.

That velvet voice belonged to no other than that bronze-haired guy I passed while driving Marie to school. The one throwing a hissy fit over not getting a jacuzzi in his new condo. Just as I thought. He was more of an ass than I first perceived.

Great. This would make for a wonderful work experience.

Suck it up, Bella. You've been through worse.

After talking a few minutes longer with his father, Edward Cullen disappeared into his office. Relieved, I set to work. His schedules and files and anything else I would need to manage had already been transferred onto my computer, so I quickly set to work. The more I worked, the faster time would fly, and the faster I could go home to my daughter.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in." I said.

My friend and co-worker, Angela Weber walked in holding a think file folder.

"Hey Ang," I greeted. "What is it?"

"Mr. Arnold wants these files to go to Edward Cullen." She said, placing the file folder on my desk. "How is he by the way? Friendly or completely stuck up?" she added quietly.

I shrugged. "He hasn't done anything rude to me… yet. We haven't really made any contact except a greeting when we were introduced."

Angela nodded before leaving. She was a kind girl, both her and her live-in boyfriend, Ben Cheney. She often took care of Marie if Rose and I would have a girls' night out.

Sighing, I picked up the file and went over to Edward Cullen's closed office door, knocking on it.

"Yes?" I heard his musical voice say from the other side.

"I have a file that Mr. Travis Arnold had delivered for you."

"Come in."

I entered his office. Of course it didn't look a whole lot different from when it was before he situated himself inside. The only difference was a few papers on the desk top and an open laptop which he was typing something on.

I placed the file folder on his desk and was about to turn around and leave before he addressed me.

"So, Isabella Swan?" How did he know my name…. oh, right. He must have read it on the nameplate on my desk. I couldn't help but notice how nice my name sounded coming from his voice.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"You're my secretary right?" he asked.

Hadn't we already established this? "Yes…"

"And I am your boss." He got a rather devilish glint in his eyes.

"Yes…"

"So, it is basically your job to do every little errand or job I assign you as well as schedule every appointment and meeting of mine _as well _as taking all my calls." He gave me a crooked grin that made me get a tad annoyed.

What was he getting at? "Essentially, yes."

"So, if I told you to reschedule my entire week right now, would you?"

"If you gave me a valid reason for the rescheduling, I would have to in order to keep my job, Mr. Cullen." I answered, getting more than just a tad annoyed. Was he going to ask anything important, or not?

"Let's say I…" He paused before casually knocking over the glass of water on his desk so that it spilled onto the carpet, creating a dark stain. "Clean it up." He said, cockily.

Gritting my teeth, I tried to keep my tone calm and professional as I said, "Like rescheduling, I would need a valid reason to do so, Mr. Cullen."

He seemed amused by my anger and only said, "I am your boss, is that not valid reason enough?"

Just when I thought he was an ass, he proved me wrong. He wasn't an ass, he was a jackass. I resisted the urge to flip him the bird and storm out of his office. Seriously, why was he even doing this? What was the point other than to aggravate me? Maybe that was why he was doing it. Why that little…

"No, Mr. Cullen. I would only clean it up if it were my fault. Since it was not, I'm sorry to say that you will just have to clean it up yourself or call up a custodian."

"Ah. So it would not because you are too nervous to _bend down_ close to my…" he trailed off seductively.

Who the hell did he think is was? Oh right, he was Edward _Cullen_. The pampered baby. Fuming, I turned around and stormed out of his office, slamming the door. But not before I heard his musical laughter. It was so nice that he was having a grand old time out of this. It just showed how immature and unprepared he was to co-run a corporation.

It was obvious by the way he acted, that he was used to women bowing down to him and probably the type to get away with office romances. Well, I would have to put him in his place and let him know that not every single female was after him. Then maybe he's get some kind of emotion to add to his physical aspects. Something along the lines of humiliation and modesty.

Ha, as if those words even existed when applied to a Cullen.

For the rest of the day, Edward Cullen wouldn't stop sending me around on rather pointless errands that he seemed to make up on the spot only to irritate me more. He would then make up stupid reasons to them and why he couldn't just do them himself. Honestly, why did I need to go across the street to Wal-Mart to buy him a pack of band-aids?

After the first few errands I eventually stopped fighting and just did what he wanted me to do. I knew that if I didn't he could fire me, and then it would be very hard to find a job half as well paying as this one.

Nevertheless, Edward Cullen was the most irritating, demanding, and pretty much the worst boss I life could have dumped upon me. He just loved to annoy me.

At exactly five that evening, I practically jumped from my chair and put on my pea coat, eager to go pick up Marie from Rose's.

"Just where do you think you're going, Miss Swan?" Edward said, making an appearance from his office. He had that mischievous glint to his eyes again, the same look he had every time he would give me another stupid job to do. It was only the first day, and he was pretty much making it miserable.

Bad day would be an understatement.

"Home, Mr. Cullen. My day here is over." I tried to hide the relief I felt.

"Afraid not, Miss Swan. I need you to work late for me tonight."

What?! But I was done everything! He had only been here for one day. He couldn't have had such a work load that he needed me to stay late. Was _he_ going to stay late?

"Everything is done, sir. I really do need to leave." I hated being away from Marie, and since I probably spent less time with her that other mothers did (mothers with husbands so that they didn't have to work 6 days a week) that I couldn't sacrifice an evening with her to be in my new least favourite place.

"On the contrary, Miss Swan, there are some things I still need done." He replied smoothly. I resisted the urge to go over and attempt to strangle him. The only reason I didn't was because it probably would have amused him more.

"Please sir, can I do them tomorrow? I need to go pick up my daughter. There's no one else to go get her."

He looked a little surprised when I mentioned a daughter. "Aren't you a little young to have a daughter?"

Well, that was rude.

"Aren't you a little young to be the co-owner of a corporation?" I snapped back. It was out of my mouth before I could think, but I didn't care. He needed to be put in his place. He didn't understand that hardships I had been put through. He had no right to judge me, boss or not.

His eyes darkened a bit before saying, "No, it cannot wait. I'm afraid you're just going to have to find someone else to take care of your child. Your husband, perhaps." He then strode back into his office, closing the door.

That jerk! The guy who worked in that office before him certainly wasn't anywhere near as rude as he was. He always excused me from work if it involved family, especially since he knew I was a single mom. True, Edward didn't know that, but that didn't mean he had to be so cold-hearted.

I had an attachment to Marie that was stronger than just the average mother-and-child relationship. I couldn't spend as much time with her, but since there was no father in the picture and I had been so young when she was born, we… bonded. Strong. It was her and me through thick and thin. I was devoted to her, and knowing that this would be the first night I wouldn't be there to tuck her in, saddened me.

This of course just made me hate Edward Cullen even more for being so insensitive. I thought if the situation involved family, I would be able to go home.

I sighed, looked like Marie was going to spend the night, or part of the night, with Rose.

I picked up the phone and dialed Rosalie's number.

"Hello?" she picked up.

"Hey Rose, it's me."

"Oh, hey Bella. What's up?"

"I'm being forced to work late tonight. I don't know when I'll be able to pick up Marie."

"Oh. That's new."

"I know." I said, rolling my eyes. "Since I probably won't be back till after Maries goes to sleep, could you tell her goodnight for me?" I asked.

"I'll give the phone to her and you can tell her yourself." Rose said before handing the phone to my baby. I heard a couple of shuffling noises before hearing her beautiful voice on the other end.

"Mommy?"

"Hey, baby. Mommy has to work later than usual tonight, so I won't be there to tuck you in, okay? Auntie Rose can do it." I said apologetically.

"Why?"

"Because my boss said I have to."

"Boss?"

"Yes, boss. Remember how you have to listen to mommy? Well, mommy has to listen to the boss, okay?"

"Okay", she said, sounding dejected.

"Sorry, hon. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mommy. Love you."

"I love you too."

After exchanging a few more words with Rosalie, I hung up and turned around to see Edward looking at me from the door to his office.

"What is it that needs to be done, Mr. Cullen?" I asked tiredly.

He shook his head as if in a daze and mumbled something before turning back into his office. Well, that wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but… okay.

I leaned forward and put my face in my hands.

As I said before, 'bad day' didn't even cover it.

* * *

**A/N: Done! Hit or Miss?**

**Sorry that Edward is so much of a jerk. He'll get better eventually. So, don't forget to drop in a REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! Third chapter should be up in a few days. **

**Peace out.**


	3. From the Inside

**A/N: Hello. I'm sorry that I'm not updating this story as quickly as my other story, **_**Shadow of the Day**_** (which you should totally check out). Right now, SOTD is my main priority because I'm trying to get it finished so I can put my full attention on this one.**

**Anyway, I may or may not update again this weekend; it all depends on how busy I am with studying. If not, then you can't expect another update till maybe Thursday or Friday next week since I have heaps of tests and quizzes happening. **

**Anyway, here is Chapter THREE!!! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

"_What is it that needs to be done, Mr. Cullen?" I asked tiredly._

_He shook his head as if in a daze and mumbled something before turning back into his office. Well, that wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but… okay. _

_I leaned forward and put my face in my hands. _

_As I said before, 'bad day' didn't even cover it._

**Chapter 3: From the Inside**

I didn't get off work till around 9 o'clock at night. Good timing too because I felt I would have seriously murdered my boss if I had to stay any longer.

Luckily Edward stayed late as well. Good thing since if he made me stay late without staying himself… well, he'd just have to sleep with one eye open.

Just as I was expecting, between the four hours I was _supposed _to leave and the actual time I _did_ leave, Edward Cullen had me running around as his own personal slave. I had a feeling I didn't really need to do any of that stuff, he was just trying to stop me from leaving. Why? I had no idea.

If he would keep being like this, I didn't know. But I did know that if I saw no improvement by the end of the week, I was going to apply for a switch in positions. Let someone else be his lapdog. I had better things to do then buy his Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Marie's bed time was at eight, so by the time I got to Rose's place, she was fast asleep.

"Hey", Rosalie said when she opened the door of her apartment.

"Hey to you too." I replied, exhausted. I walked inside, dumping my coat on a chair and slumping onto her couch. Mmm… she always had such a soft couch…

I noticed the bouquet of violets lying on her table, alongside another bouquet of roses. I already knew who they were from.

"More gifts from Royce?" I asked. Royce King was Rosalie's ex-boyfriend although he still didn't see it that way. They dated solely based on physical attraction and after only a couple of months, Rose broke it off due to the fact she wanted more than just a physical relationship. Royce being the idiot he was, couldn't take the hint and instead kept trying to win Rose back with gifts and constant phone calls and text messages. It was all very stalker-ish. He had yet to approach Rose in person though.

"Who else?" Rose replied, rolling her eyes. It had been nearly a month since the break up and she was close to getting a restraining order against him.

I lay my whole body across the couch and slung one of my arms over my eyes.

"Bad day?" I heard Rose ask.

"Doesn't even cover it," I sighed, "My new boss, Edward Cullen, is one of Carlisle Cullen's sons."

"Ah. A spoiled brat. And let me guess, he drives you crazy?"

"How could you tell?' I said sarcastically. "He's just so… _aggravating_! There were several times I had to stop myself from screaming and pulling my hair out!."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea. He kept having me run around, getting him the stupidest things. Things I know he doesn't need. I'm his secretary! Not his slave!"

"Can't you argue that his requests aren't reasonable?" Rose asked as she passed me a cup of coffee. I sat up to take it. It was warm and comforting, opposite of what my day had been.

"Well, yeah, I guess. But considering what a jerk he is, he could fire me, and I can't afford to lose a job like this one."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Probably just deal with it. If it doesn't get better, I'll apply for a position transfer."

"What did he look like? Is he hot as hell?"

"Rose!" I exclaimed, glaring at her. "I don't see why that's relevant. Or why you want to know."

Rose shrugged and looked at me as if I were stupid. "The handsomeness of a man _always_ matters, Bells. Have I taught you nothing? Besides, the more good looking he is, the more of a ladies man most likely. He hasn't tried anything, has he?"

"Other than a tiny bit of suggestive teasing, no, not really. But he _is_ utterly gorgeous. I've never seen a man that godly before." I blushed just thinking of his impossibly perfect features. "His brother isn't that bad either," I said, my tone turning teasing. "Emmett Cullen. Really muscular. Seems like your type, Rose."

"Oh please," Rose said, brushing it off with a wave of her hand. "Like you, I'm not into spoiled rich kids. Royce is a good example of why I don't date them."

"Anymore." I teased.

"Whatever. So are you gonna take Marie and get out of my place, woman? Or are you going to stay here all night and talk about your gorgeous boss?"

"And who started the talk about his gorgeousness? Anyway, is Marie in your room?" I asked, standing up and handing my coffee to Rose.

"Yup."

I walked into Rose's bedroom to find Marie curled up in her bed. Gently lifting her, I gathered her school things and shoes and said goodbye to Rose. Marie slept the whole ride home and didn't even wake up when I put her pajamas on her and tucked her into bed.

As I walked down the hall to my own room I noticed the date on the calendar. Tomorrow was Saturday. Crap. Usually I didn't mind Saturdays, but as of late, I dreaded them. I worked at Starbucks on Saturdays, Jasper and his live-in girlfriend, Alice, took care of Marie. But that wasn't the reason I didn't like Saturdays anymore.

* * *

I drummed my fingers on the countertop as I waited for more customers to walk in through the door. The smell of coffee swirling around me. I looked at the clock for the thousandth time that day. 1:30 PM. One and a half hours till I clocked out. Not a good thing. I wasn't ready. I was never ready.

"So, Bella, how do you feel about this Sunday?" Mike Newton asked me. He had been talking to me for a while now and I had yet to pay attention to a single word he said.

"Huh?" I stupidly responded.

"Tomorrow. Do you want to go out for dinner with me?" Mike asked again. I internally groaned. Mike was my co-worker at Starbucks and he could never take a hint. He was a nice guy, just… pushy. I had lost count how many times he had asked me out and I had made up some lame excuse, usually something to do with Marie. I felt a little guilty using my daughter as a way out of Mike's advancements, but hey, when you have an escape; use it.

"Um… sorry, I can't. Marie has… um, a doctor's appointment that day. In the evening." I was a horrible liar, but Mike couldn't tell. That, or he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I wasn't interested in him.

"Okay. Maybe next time." He replied before walking off. I breathed out a sigh of relief and continued to do pretty much nothing. I rested my chin in the palm of my hand, my elbow leaning on the countertop.

I heard the little bell of the door tinkle, signaling a customer. I straightened up but didn't look towards whoever was there. My thoughts were clouded with the impending doom waiting for me after work. I didn't pay attention to the almost robotic routine I had been through so many times.

"Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?" I asked, my tone indifferent and bored.

"Well, Miss Swan, that isn't how you should greet a paying customer, is it?" a very familiar velvet voice chuckled. My head snapped up to be met with a pair of gorgeous green eyes.

Damn it. My boss, Edward Cullen.

Honestly, could this day have gotten any worse?

He wasn't wearing his in office suit, but instead was dressed in casual clothing, which made him look twice as handsome. I had to quickly banish some not so G rated thoughts from my head. He looked very amused with his usual smirk in place. A thought came to me.

Crap, I was his secretary and he now he knew I worked at a low-paying job at Starbucks. Well, I was just making the best of impressions, wasn't I?

I heard someone snickering behind him and saw his brother, Emmett Cullen. Great, the two of them together was exactly what I needed.

Gritting my teeth, I said, "What can I get for you?"

His smirk become more prominent as he answered, "Two plain black, please, _Bella_." He added, reading the name on my name tag.

"That is Miss Swan to you." I hissed. I knew I was being immature and it probably wasn't best to be speaking that way to a man who could very well fire me, but it was out of my mouth before I could think. He was just so aggravating!

"My apologies, _Miss Swan._"

I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue at him like a little child and turned around to get his order before I did something I would really regret.

From what I learned about Edward Cullen's character, he would be coming in every Saturday just to bug me_. Maybe I could transfer to Sunday… No. He would figure it out and come every Sunday. _

Jeez, I had only known that guy for a day and he already made me want to strangle him!

Handing him his order, I took his money without a word. I didn't look at his face, although it probably held that signature smirk. I wanted to just take a cloth and wipe it off his irritatingly perfect face.

As Edward and Emmett were about to turn away, the bell tinkled again, Rosalie, Alice, and little Marie walked in. I was shocked to say the least. What the hell were they doing here?

"What is it? Is something wrong? Is Marie hurt?" I asked frantically, stepping out from behind the counter and bending down to check my daughter for any injuries. I'll admit I tended to over react just a bit when it came to Marie; I was very protective of her. I guess because my own mother was not protective enough over me.

"No, she's fine, Bells. Relax. We were just out and decided to drop in and say hello." Alice said, rolling her eyes. Alice had been dating Jasper for the past two years and lived with him. She and I were fast friends and I knew it was only a matter of time till Jazz popped the question. She was very short, in contrast to Jasper being tall; she barely hit five feet. She had pale skin like the rest of us, short, spiky black hair, and probably the bubbliest personality I've ever known. She, like Rose, was like a sister to me.

I then noticed the shopping bags in Alice's and Rose's hands and immediately felt stupid.

I felt a little tug on my sleeve and looked down to Marie.

"Hi, Mommy."

"Hey, baby." I said, opening my arms to her. She jumped into them, full force. That was just like Marie; she was seldom gentle. She usually crashed into things or people without a care.

I placed Marie back on the ground and straightened up. I then noticed that Edward and Emmett were still there. Edward was looking quite curiously at me while Emmett was staring, quite unashamed, at Rosalie.

I guess I had to be polite since they weren't _leaving._

"Um, Mr. Cullen, uh, I mean, Mr. Cullen_s_," both Cullens smirked at that, "These are my two good friends, Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale. And this is my daughter, Marie. Rose, Alice, this is my boss, Edward Cullen, and his brother, Emmett Cullen."

They politely shook hands, exchanging small greetings. _Oh yeah, be all nice to them._ I thought bitterly. I noticed Rose and Emmett staring at each other, seeming to be eying each other up. I had to store that for possible future teasing material.

I turned back to Marie and said, "So, did you have fun with Auntie Rose and Auntie Alice shopping?"

She scrunched up her nose in disgust. "Not really. I didn't want to go, but Auntie Alice made me."

I laughed. She was so much like me. She had obviously inherited my fierce hatred for shopping. I felt a prickly feeling on the back of my neck and turned around to see Edward looking at me and Marie curiously. There wasn't a trace of that cockiness I had grown used to on his face. He kneeled down in front of Marie.

"Hello, Marie. I'm Edward." He said in a friendly voice. I understood being nice to a little kid, but seriously. Why did he have to be so polite and sweet to everyone but _me?_

"Hi." Marie said shyly, edging a little closer to me. I wrapped my arm around her little shoulders, keeping her close to my side. He wasn't doing anything wrong right then, but I didn't want Edward Cullen becoming my daughter's new best friend.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"Five." Marie replied, still acting shy.

"_Swan!_" I heard an angry voice shout. I grimaced before turning around to my other boss. The manager of this little Starbucks.

"Yes, Mr. Moore?" I asked, tiredly.

"I don't pay you to socialize, I pay you to work! Now work!" he then stomped off to his office. I resisted the urge to flip him the bird behind his back.

"I think we'd better go." Alice said, taking Marie's hand. "We'll see you later, Bella."

And with that, Rose (who reluctantly broke eye contact with Emmett), Alice, and Marie left. Even Edward and Emmett trailed after them. I hoped the two guys didn't follow them and make out all buddy-buddy with my friends.

* * *

I stood outside the hospital before taking a deep breath and walked in. I had been coming here for the past 3 weeks, once every Saturday. I didn't want to, but I felt it was my obligation to. Besides, I was paying for the damn treatment. I was able to afford it, but it certainly made my financial state harder.

I walked into the mental ward of the hospital and nodded to the nurses, who recognized me from my other visits. I walked up to the nurse at the front desk.

"I'm here to see Renee Swan, as usual." I said. **(She never married or even met Phil, so her last name can't be Dwyer) **

"Of course. I just checked and she finished her therapy session a few minutes ago. She should be in her room by now. Go right ahead, dear." I nodded in thanks and started walking down the hallway towards Renee's room.

When I left Renee behind in Phoenix, I hadn't expected to see her ever again. But I was wrong. Just 3 weeks ago, I got a phone call.

_* * * _

_The phone rang as I was flipping pancakes. Marie was in the living room watching _Dora the Explorer_ as she did every morning. Sighing, I picked up the phone, wondering who would be calling me in the morning. I didn't recognize the number on the caller ID._

"_Hello?"_

"_Is this Isabella Swan?" a man's voice said on the other end._

"_Yes…?" Who was this?_

"_Miss Swan, this is Dr. Richard Hill and I am calling on behalf of your mother, Renee Swan."_

_I froze. Renee? I hadn't heard form her in… God, it had to be close to six years now. Why was she, or this guy on her behalf, all of the sudden contacting me now?_

"_Um… alright…" I answered lamely._

"_I am aware you haven't spoken to your mother in years, but she told me you were her only living relative and that you'd be able to take care of things. I'll admit, it wasn't easy to track you down."_

"'_Take care of things'? What things? Has something happened to Renee?"_

"_I really should be telling you this in person, but considering you're in Illinois, it cannot be helped. You see, Miss Swan, your mother tried to commit suicide."_

_I tensed. My mouth went dry. S-suicide? What the hell?_

"_W-what? When?" I demanded._

"_Just a few days ago. I know this is a shock, and I'm sorry. Luckily, someone got to her in time and brought her to the hospital. Physically she's fine, but I'm afraid her mental state of mind is not."_

"_What do you mean?" I whispered._

"_We've discovered that your mother has been suffering from depression for several months before the attempt. She hasn't received any treatment for it, and therefore it had only gotten worse until she…"_

"_Yes, I understand" I cut him off._

"_Anyway, her mental condition is, unfortunately, not very good. I'm afraid she is going to need extensive care at a mental facility. I also suggested, to make things easier on her, for her to be near family."_

"_So… are you saying she should come here? To Chicago?"_

"_Yes. Of course, the decision is up to you. I'm sorry to say that in her current state, she shouldn't be making any big decisions. You're going to have to do that for her."_

"_I see…" I sank down into a chair by the kitchen table and put my face in my free hand. What a mess. _

_Of course I would have Renee move to Chicago and undergo treatment here. I may not have been very close to her, but she was my mother. It was my obligation to take care of her._

* * *

I entered Renee's room to find her sitting on her bed, picking at whatever she had made in craft therapy that day. I looked closer. It was macaroni art. I felt like I was walking into Marie's kindergarten class.

"Hey, Mom." I said quietly, sitting down into the chair beside her bed.

"Hey, honey." She said, looking up at me and giving me a small smile. She looked weak and worn. I knew she was slowly getting better, but her mentality was still pretty unstable. Sometimes she acted sweet, like today, other times, she was… not so sweet.

"How are you?" I asked.

She sighed. "Not too bad, I guess." I was told she hadn't had a bad spell since the one she had shortly after arriving here, so that was progress.

Renee smiled again before going back to her art work. I hated these awkward visits. I never knew what to say to her. She had asked to see Marie, more than once, but I wasn't ready for the two to meet yet. I wanted to make sure that Renee was perfectly healthy of mind before I could trust her to have a relationship with my daughter.

When Renee was being nice to me like this, it made me want to trust her again. But right now, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

I trusted my mother when I was a child, but she was hardly home. I knew it wasn't completely her fault she had to work so much, but I still couldn't help but resent her a little for it. I basically had to raise myself.

I trusted her as a teenager to help and comfort me. Especially when I became pregnant, to be the mother I needed and to help take care of me and my baby since I couldn't do it alone. She had failed me then, too.

She failed me when she became an alcoholic and refused to get help, even if it meant separating from me. She obviously cared more about the drink than her own child.

Throughout the years I lived with her, she failed me. Betrayed my young trust. Time and time again. And I didn't want to go down that road again.

I had her to thank for my messed up childhood. I knew it was slightly unfair to blame it all on her, but if you were in my place, you would understand.

It was like she had taken everything from the inside of me, and threw it away. Sometimes I used to question whether she loved me or not. I still did.

But she was still my mother, and as much as I resented her, didn't trust her, and felt uneasy around her, I was obligated to help her when she needed it. I wasn't going to abandon her. That wasn't me. How would I be able to live with the guilt of abandoning my own mother?

I was going to help her get better, but after that, I wasn't sure if I would want anything to do with her.

* * *

**A/N: So, Hit or Miss?**

**Sorry, it's a bit sloppy (in my opinion). You know what? Drop in **_**your**_** opinion in a REVIEW!!!! REVIEWS are LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Peace out.**


	4. So What

**A/N: Hey, it's me again. I know it's been almost a week since I last updated, but I'm trying my best here! I've been swamped with schoolwork (I still am) and I have two fanfics to handle, so please try to be understanding. I'm under a lot of stress and have been suffering from major sleep deprivation. I almost fell asleep in physics class! I'm not lying; my eye lids were closing and my head was literally drooping to the side. I caught myself before I actually did :)**

**I swear I have no life anymore. As I type this I'm alone in my room, eating a box of Greek take out on my desk. Sob.**

**Anyway, I have another story idea. No, I will not be starting it until I'm done with **_**Shadow of the Day**_**. If I'm this stressed with handling 2 stories, how the hell can I juggle 3? But, SOTD should be coming to a close around the holidays. As soon as I've wrapped SOTD up, I will start officially writing this new story right away. **

**I've added a sneak peek of it at the bottom of this chapter. It includes the prologue and PART of the first chapter. I got my inspiration from a TV show. No, I did not steal the plot of the show, but there's a small detail in the show that interested me and I developed a rough plot from that small thing. That's also partly why I'm not starting it now. The plot is still rough and I need to polish it before I can actually start writing up post-able chapters.**

**Enough of my rambling, on with Chapter FOUR!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

_But she was still my mother, and as much as I resented her, didn't trust her, and felt uneasy around her, I was obligated to help her when she needed it. I wasn't going to abandon her. That wasn't me. How would I be able to live with the guilt of abandoning my own mother?_

_I was going to help her get better, but after that, I wasn't sure if I would want anything to do with her._

**Chapter 4: So What**

"Sorry I'm late!" I said as I rushed to our table in the restaurant and sat down.

Just as I expected Alice glared at me, very annoyed. Alice hated tardiness. Everything had to be exactly precise with her, down to the very minute. I was only fifteen minutes late, jeez woman. I smiled apologetically at her and took my seat beside Marie, who was colouring her paper placemat with crayons. I quickly kissed her cheek before turning to the others.

"Sorry Ali, but I got stuck in traffic. It _is_ rush hour right about now." I apologized.

She sighed overdramatically and rolled her eyes to the ceiling, "Then I guess I can let you off the hook this time, Bells. We already ordered for you, by the way."

"Thanks Alice, you're such a saint."

"I know."

"So, Bella," Jasper said, turning to me, "how's your mom doing?"

Ugh. He had to bring that up, didn't he? I knew he was only concerned, but I really didn't like talking about Renee, especially giving the current state she was in.

I averted my eyes to the table before answering. "She's doing… fine, I guess. Her doctor says he can see improvement, but not much. She hardly talks during group therapy and she's still refuses to talk about anything personal during one-on-one sessions, which sort of defeats the purpose."

"But she _is_ improving, right?" Rose pressed. I nodded.

"What are you going to do once she eventually gets out of there?"

I shrugged, still not making eye contact with anyone. I just looked at the little swirls and loops Marie was drawing. "I'm not sure. I'll probably just have her move in with us until she can find her own place and job. There really is no other option other than letting her stay in a shelter, and you know I can't do that."

"When will Marie meet her?" Jeez, what's with all the curiousity all of a sudden?

"I don't know. When she's not so unstable, but can we please stop talking about this?" I pleaded. Talking about Renee just made me extremely uncomfortable.

"Okay then," Alice said with a mischievous glint to her eyes. Oh no. "Today in the coffee shop, Bella. What can I say? _Nice_."

I blushed bright red. "Alice…"

"What? I may be taken, but I know a good looking man when I see one." Jazz pouted. "Of course, not nearly as handsome as you, Jazzy."

"Alice, he's my flipping _boss_. I swear, you're just like Jessica."

"Hey, don't go comparing me to that floozy. But seriously Bella, boss or not, Edward Cullen get's an A in the good looks department. And the way you guys interact, so cute!" she practically squealed, which made all of us jump and Marie look up from her colouring.

"Mom…?"

"Don't pay attention to Auntie Alice, Marie. She's not right in her head." I said quietly, but loud enough that Alice could hear me.

"I heard that!" Alice said.

"I know."

"But really. I saw you two acting so immature around each other before we walked in through the door. It was pretty amusing and cute. You know, many great romances…" she trailed off purposely and raised her eyebrows at me. Was she serious? How come no one could get it through their think skulls that Edward Cullen was my _boss!_

"Shut up, Alice. I'm not interesting in dating my boss."

"Pride and prejudice, Bella."

"What?"

"This is just like _Pride and Prejudice_! Except, you know, Elizabeth never worked for Mr. Darcy, but that doesn't matter. Hmm, Marie doesn't have a part, but we can make one up for her. Isn't this exciting?"

"Alice, this isn't like _Pride and Prejudice_ because nothing will happen between Mr. Cullen and me," I said, sticking to his surname for formality, "You're getting carried away. Just because I find him an arrogant ass, doesn't automatically mean I'll end up marrying him like Lizzie. Not everything is like a story book."

"No, but your chemistry is amazing! You can't deny it, Bells."

I groaned and Rosalie snickered, "Yeah, Bella. I saw you staring at him… _all_ of him."

"Oh yeah, Rose, you should definitely be talking," I said, rolling my eyes. "What about you? It looks as if _someone_ was undressing Emmett Cullen with her eyes. Do you know who it might be Alice?" I turned to Alice who started giggling.

"I almost forgot about that! Bella and Edward were cute, but you and Emmett were hot! And you were only looking at each other! Although, I can't say I blame you. Emmett Cullen is pretty handsome, just like his brother." Alice winked at me. Rosalie blushed pink, but didn't deny it.

"Oh Alice, you're having way too much fun with this." I said, "You're not going to play matchmaker are you?"

"Nah, this development doesn't need my helping. Although, you should do a little more dating here and there, Bella, while you wait for Mr. Hotness. You haven't had a date in only God knows how long."

"Alice, I'm not waiting for him! Besides, I don't want to date right now. I don't need a guy."

"You don't want a relationship? A husband for you and a father for Marie?"

That struck a nerve. My eyes flashed up at Alice, glaring at her. I then looked back at Marie who was so absorbed in her colouring that she was pretty much oblivious to the conversation around her.

"I didn't say I never wanted those things. I just don't want them _now_. I'm perfectly happy right now and so is Marie. We don't need a man, Alice. In case you've forgotten, I've gotten where I am right now without any help from a partner."

"Oh Bella, I didn't mean to offend you. I just don't want you to be alone so much."

"I'm not alone." I retorted.

"You know what I mean. I think a relationship would be healthy for you, Bella. Relieve some of the stress." I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off. "No, don't start. I'm not trying to pressure you, just think about it."

Not trying to pressure me? Ha! I didn't know whether to be annoyed or touched Alice wanted me to go man-hunting out of concern for me. I was sure she meant well, so I bit back any condescending remarks and remained silent.

Thankfully the rest of the evening went by smoothly, without anymore comments about my pretty much non-existent love life. The waitress shamelessly flirted with Jasper, which made Alice an incredibly annoyed little pixie and gave the waitress a rather small tip. Of course Jasper was highly amused through this. He never lost his cool. Well, except for that time he fainted during Marie's delivery…

By the end of the evening, Marie had fallen asleep on my lap and didn't wake up when we got up to leave the restaurant.

The night was pretty peaceful and quiet, a light breeze blew past. I waved goodbye to the others as I walked, with Marie in my arms to my car. The parking lot had been pretty full when I arrived, so I had to park farther from the front of the restaurant than the others. As I reached my car, I saw Alice and Jasper drive away in her Porsche and Rose in her fancy BMW.

I strapped the sleeping Marie and went to the driver's seat to start the car. There was just one problem.

It wouldn't start.

After trying to start the ignition about five times, my slow mind finally came to terms that something was wrong with this car. Huh, that was weird.

I went out to the front of the car and lifted the hood.

It didn't look busted… but then again, what the hell did I know about cars? These were one of the times I wished Rose was with me. Giving a sigh of aggravation, I dug out my cell phone from my purse and dialed Rose's number.

"_Hey, it's Rosalie. Unless your name is Royce, leave a message and I'll try to get back to you." BEEP._

Nice.

Now what?

I could always call a tow truck to pick up the car, but I didn't want to spend the money knowing Rose could easily fix whatever the problem was. I needed to saving every penny I could. I obviously couldn't fix this problem myself, so what other option was there?

Unfortunately, this little restaurant was in the more suburban side of town, therefore, there weren't and taxis on the street. I wasn't going to walk home; it would take at least an hour and it wasn't exactly safest given it was nighttime.

There was only one other thing to do. There was a bus stop only a few blocks away from here. I knew the bus route since I had taken it many times before I had a car. So I guess the bus was the winner. I went to the back seat of my car and unstrapped Marie, holding her in my arms. I didn't want to wake her.

"Looks like it's public transit for you and me, little lady." I murmured as her head rested on my shoulder and her arms automatically wrapped around my neck, her legs loosely around my hips. I locked the car doors before beginning my trek to the bus stop.

It wasn't such a bad walk. It was only a few blocks away and the weather was nice for late October. Halloween was is a week and Marie wanted to be a vampire. Yeah, I know. Most little girls her age wanted to be princesses or fairies, but not my girl. She wanted to be a vampire.

In my opinion, vampires totally overruled fairy princesses.

I reached the bus stop about fifteen minutes later. The bus wasn't there yet and the stop was almost empty; the only other person there was an older woman carrying a couple grocery bags. I watched other cars go by and tapped my foot, waiting for the damn bus. I just wanted to get home, put Marie to bed, and then take a nice relaxing bath. Maybe a bubble bath. Anything to relieve the stress.

This sucked. Not to mention my arms were getting seriously tired form holding Marie.

After waiting for about five minutes, one of the cars pulled to the side of the road, right next to the bus stop. It was a silver Volvo.

Confused, I watched as the window on passenger side open and the driver lean over to poke his or her head out.

To my utter and complete surprise, it was Edward Cullen.

"M-Mr. Cullen?!" I stuttered. What was he doing here? Why did he stop? Is it because he saw me on the side of the road?

"Bella, what are you doing there? I thought you have a car," he said in his musical voice. I was too shocked to remind him not to call me Bella.

"I-I do. But it broke down. I'm taking the bus home."

His eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. Did I say something wrong?

"It's not safe for a woman and young child to be out this late. It's dark, anything can happen to you," he said, actually looking concerned. I scoffed. I would be perfectly fine. I didn't need anyone to look out for me or for my baby. I was independent, and I liked it better that way.

"Nothing's going to happen, but thank you for your concern." I responded formally. That just made his frown deepen.

"Come on, Bella. I'll give you a ride home," he said, surprising me even more. First he shows up out of no where, and now he's offering me a ride? I thought his goal in life was to annoy the crap out of me, not watch out for my well being. I looked at him suspiciously and he laughed at my facial expression.

"I know your capable of taking care of yourself, but humor me. This will be faster and you'll be able to get your daughter to bed earlier. She looks pretty exhausted."

I considered this. I could just get in the car, endure ten minutes of Edward's cockiness, then I could be home and relax a lot quicker. Or I could refuse and go on the bus, take a lot longer to get home, be cranky, and risking danger from whatever Edward considered dangerous about riding the bus at night.

Well, it would only be ten minutes of Edward's cockiness.

Giving up, I grudgingly walked towards the car. He smiled triumphantly and I almost changed my mind. Oh yeah, be smug Edward Cullen.

Of course, he didn't have a car seat for five-year olds, so I just put Marie in the back seat and put her seat belt on. She groggily started waking up.

"Mommy?" she murmured sleepily, her eyes still practically closed.

"Shh, Marie. Go back to sleep. We're just getting a ride home." I said reassuringly. Marie trusted me and without further question, settled back down for sleep. I got into the passenger side and Edward started driving again without another word.

I told him my address, but other than that, the car was pretty silent. He finally broke the silence.

"You didn't call anyone to pick you up?" he asked. Damn! Why hadn't I thought of that? I was so stupid it shocked my sometimes. I felt like hitting my head like those V8 commercials. _Should have had a V8._

"Um, I called my friend, Rosalie, but she didn't pick up."

"What about your husband?"

I blushed. I was already giving Edward the worst impression of me; me being indifferent to his charms, being immature towards him, working at Starbucks, and now he was going to get something else to add to the list. Wait, why did I even care what kind of impression I made on Edward?

Oh yeah. Boss.

"No. I, uh, I don't actually have a husband. I'm a single mom."

He was surprised at that. He quickly glanced at me, his eyebrows waved. Why was that so shocking? I was a lot younger than other moms, so it was obvious I became pregnant as a teenager. Most teenage pregnancies don't end with a nice family consisting of a husband, wife, and kid.

"Marie's father?" he asked. Why the hell did he want to know? Now Edward was starting to annoy me again. It really wasn't any of his business.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, but Marie doesn't have a father." She really didn't. She had… biological… uh… paternal DNA, I suppose, but no father. To be a father in my book, you had to be the man to record her first words, to take her to her first day of school, give her baths every night, and read her stories before bed. Marie never had a guy like that in her life. Well, maybe Jasper, but it wasn't the same. He was more of an uncle than a father.

Edward's eyebrows were furrowed again, but this time in concentration and slight confusion. It was rather cute. I never thought the term 'cute' could be applied to Edward Cullen, but I was proven wrong. Where was his normal egotistical self?

"So you raised your daughter on your own?" he asked. I couldn't grasp why he was so curious. Maybe he was just amazed at the lives of poor people. _Commoners_.

I just nodded.

"Wouldn't it have been easier with Marie's biological father to help you out?"

Was he stupid or something?

"So what?" I said, irritated. "So what if it would have been easier. Maybe I _couldn't_ get help from her biological father. Not that it matters. I don't need him or anyone. It's better this way. I'm fine, better than fine, with just Marie and myself."

Edward just pursed his lips, as if restraining himself from making comment and stared at the road. The awkward silence fell over us again.

"So…" Edward started. "What were you doing there in the suburbs anyway?"

"I was at a restaurant with Marie and some friends."

"Would two of those friends be those girls from Starbucks?"

"Yeah. Rosalie and Alice."

Silence.

"What about you? What were you doing there?" I asked.

"I was visiting my parents who live in around there." Oh, that wasn't the answer I was expecting. I had thought he was going to say something like 'I was visiting my girlfriend' or… yeah, that's actually the only thing I expected him to say. With him being the arrogant man he was, he didn't strike me as the visiting-your-parents type, despite the fact his father was super rich and just gave him the biggest promotion ever.

Then again, Edward Cullen was really acting differently towards me compared to how we first met. Was that only just yesterday? Strange, it felt like a lot longer than that.

He was acting quite… civil. Despite the weird awkward silences, the car ride wasn't so bad. I was fully expecting smart ass remarks and smirks from him. Instead, he was asking me questions, seeming genuinely curious. Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought.

Maybe I had met him on a bad day or something.

But that didn't change the fact that he was one of _them_. The spoiled rich kids that were given everything easy. Snobbish. If this was _Pride and Prejudice_ as Alice said, then this story would have an alternate ending. A completely alternate ending.

I turned my head and looked out the window. It was only when I saw the scenery whizzing past at such a rapid rate did I realize just how fast he was driving. Was he drunk?!

"Holy cow! Slow down!" I said frantically.

He just rolled his eyes. "Bella, this is hardly anything. This is slower than I normally drive."

"Hardly anything?! You're way over the speed limit! Do you want us to crash?!"

"Calm down. I won't crash, I'm an excellent driver. I haven't even gotten a ticket."

"Please, there is a young child in this car without a car seat. Just slow down!"

Sighing, he slowed down by about 20 miles/hour and grumbled something about hating driving slow.

"This is slow?" I said, my eyebrows raised as I looked at the speed meter. He was driving at 80 m/hr. Edward just rolled his eyes again, but didn't verbally respond.

He pulled up to my apartment building a minute later and I quickly got out and gathered Marie from the back seat. Edward rolled down his window and poked his head out at me like he had when he found me at the bus stop.

"Thanks for the ride, Mr. Cullen," I said. Might as well be polite. He did do me favour when we didn't even like each other.

"No problem. And call me Edward."

"I'd rather not. Good night." I was about to turn away when he called my name.

"Yes?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at him.

He put on the cocky smirk I had come to hate so much. "I'll make sure to get coffee at Starbucks every Saturday." He winked before speeding away.

Forget what I said before. He was just as bad as I thought.

* * *

**A/N: Done! Hit or Miss?**

**Sorry it took me so long again. This chapter would have been poster hours ago, but I took a nap since I was so dead tired and then I got distracted watching "Pride and Prejudice" (the 2005 version). I guess you can tell where I got the idea to put the reference to it in this chapter from :) **

**So here is the special sneak peek of my new story, **_**A Vision Stained with Red**_**. Check out my profile for the full summary. **

**I already have two stories to handle, so I won't actually be posting the first chapter for this one until AFTER my other story, **_**Shadow of the Day,**_** is finished. SO, in other words, I probably won't post this story until around Christmas.** **So here's the prologue and part of the first chapter of this story. Tell me what you think!**

* * *

_**SPECIAL SNEAK PEEK:**_

_**A Vision Stained with Red**_

**Prologue**

It is a common saying that we should always "Live every day as if it were your last".

So, contemplating on the meaning of that saying, I guess it's safe to say it simply means that you never know when you're going to die, so you might as well enjoy every moment of your life to its fullest. Well.

_You_ may not know when you will die, how you will die, or where you will die… but I do.

No, I was not the grim reaper. That guy didn't really exist. At least, I didn't think so. But I definitely wasn't him. I was a normal human being, a teenage girl who, on the outside, looked completely and utterly average.

But I knew better than that.

You would never be able to tell by looking at my boring brown eyes that I could see so much more than anyone else.

The monsters, the _things_ I saw weren't the kind who could walk, talk, growl, or attack you in any way. In fact, they were merely informative. This may sound ridiculous, but I could see _numbers._

Not just any numbers. These numbers I saw hovered above every person's head. A series of numbers that, when calculated properly, told me how long said person would live.

Pretty cool, huh?

Actually, no.

For some reason, I was born with this gift, or rather, curse. Before I could even remember, I was seeing these numbers. I saw them every day. Just hovering above peoples' heads, deciding their fate, how much longer they were going to live. It was horrible having to see everyone's life spans, feeling sorrow when you saw someone was going to die young. Sorrow that he or she was going to die at all.

Not to mention that if I saw someone who was going to die in the next 24 hours, I would get a flash vision of their death. I once saw a woman on the street when I was twelve. From her numbers, I could see she was going to die in one hour. I suddenly got a vision of a car colliding with her small body. It wasn't a surprise when her face appeared on the evening news that night.

As you can tell, I hated hospitals. They were full of dying people.

These numbers had become a normalcy for me. I didn't know what it was like to _not_ see them, so I never missed what I never had in the first place.

I expected to see the numbers above every head, they never surprised me. They were just _there_.

That was, until I met _them_. They didn't have numbers.

Hi, I'm Bella Swan, and I can see death.

Yeah.

**Chapter 1: Somewhere I Belong**

My head snapped up from my book when they called my flight. Sighing, I put away my book and stood up, picking up my carry on bag. The terminal was flooded with people, all heading towards different flights, their numbers all a jumbled heap. But I was so used to this that I could tell their death ages right away. The numbers were a second nature to me, so I no longer needed to pause to calculate a person's set of numbers to get his or her death age. All I had to do was look at the numbers, and I knew right away. This made me a whiz in math class. **(I know a lot of people don't read prologues, so if you don't understand what she means by numbers, read the prologue!)**

_69, 75, 74, 81, 77, 46 – Oh, that one isn't very long._

There weren't many people on my flight, which was nice. I was always a loner. Being around a lot of people made me feel uneasy. I wasn't exactly sure why. It just did.

I was always a loner back in my old school in Phoenix. That was where I used to live with my mother and stepfather, Phil.

My fellow students avoided me, labeling me a freak. I was quiet and reserved. I didn't have many friends, if any at all. I think it was because of my curse that people stayed away from me. No one knew about it of course, but it was as if they sensed something was wrong with me, and stayed away. That and the fact I was pretty distant. I hated getting overly close to new people, especially since I knew exactly when they would die. Down to the very hour. It was unnerving.

Not even my own mother, Renee, knew about these numbers. Well, sort of.

When I was four, I spoke to her about them. I was born with this curse so I didn't know as a young kid that normal people _didn't_ see numbers. Renee got worried and a little annoyed I was 'making up' things and told me not to speak of it again. I then figured out that I was the only one who could see these numbers.

The numbers I could handle. What I would never get used to though was the flash visions I saw upon seeing someone who would die in the next 24 hours. I remembered that my first experience with these visions was when I was seven. I saw my neighbour, Dylan. Back then, I hadn't mastered the art of calculating the numbers yet, so I wasn't aware he was going to die in 11 hours. Out of no where I had a vision of him burning, covered with smoke and engulfed in flames. I started screaming and crying. Renee couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. He died in a house fire that night.

I was partly thankful that Forks would be my new home. I was moving there to be with my biological father, Charlie Swan, police chief of Forks, Washington. The town population was just over 3000 people. The number of students in my old high school took up over half that number.

So, it was a bit of a relief that I wouldn't see as many numbers (since there were so little people) and the flash visions of people's oncoming deaths would probably cease to exist.

It was nice to get a relief from the madness of my life. Forks seemed, although dreary and boring, peaceful.

I didn't think I'd run into anything exciting there.

* * *

**A/N: So there it is! Let me know if you like it! Remember, I won't be posting the first chapter till around Christmas, so in other words, not anytime in the next 3 or so weeks.**

**So, other than that, REVIEW!!!!!!!!! Show me love and REVIEW!!!!!!!!**

**Peace out.**


	5. Manic Monday

**A/N: I know, I Know, I KNOW! It's taking me longer than usual to update, blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry I've been such a bad updater, but my teachers have been trying to cram as many projects as possible before Christmas. Ah well, I've been pretty busy, not to mention I've been trying to write the last chapters of **_**Shadow of the Day**_**. Once SOTD is done, I promise updates for this story will become more frequent. I will, of course, also be starting my new story, **_**A Vision Stained with Red**_**, once SOTD is over. **

**Okay, so, check out my profile because I've created an "Upcoming Stories" section. I just might have added something new…**

**I can't really think of anything else to say right now, so on with Chapter FIVE!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm so sad…**

* * *

"_Yes?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at him._

_He put on the cocky smirk I had come to hate so much. "I'll make sure to get coffee at Starbucks every Saturday." He winked before speeding away._

_Forget what I said before. He was just as bad as I thought._

**Chapter 5: Manic Monday**

Mondays. I _hate_ Mondays.

For one thing, they're right after Sundays. I happened to like Sundays, so why did my after Sunday happiness have to be ruined by Monday? Mondays were grouchy and early and mood killers and just… ugh!

This Monday wasn't any better.

When my alarm went off, I rose from bed like Frankenstein, literally. I'm sure if I were watching myself, I wouldn't be able to resist shouting, _"She's aliiiiiiiive!!!"_

I rubbed the back of my sore neck, regretting letting Alice and Rose take me out for a girls' night out last night. I stifled a laugh imagining what their hangovers must be like. At least I hardly drank; who else was going to be the designated driver if not those party animals?

Rolling out of bed, I padded my way to the kitchen. I needed caffeine.

Surprisingly, Marie was already sitting at the kitchen table, colouring her _Go, Diego! Go!_ Colouring book. She was still in her nightgown, her curls mussed with sleep.

"Hey, hon," I said, kissing the top of her head as I passed her to get to the cupboard. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep," she replied quietly, not taking her eyes off of her book.

"Bad dreams?"

Marie shook her head. She looked up and I noticed her red rimmed eyes. Had she been crying?

"Marie, what's wrong?" I said, concern washing over me.

"I don't feel so good, Mommy," she whimpered, her little voice was pitifully pathetic and slightly raspy. I put my hand on her forehead and was startled by the heat of it. I looked more closely and noticed her cheeks were flushed and her movements, sluggish.

I got the digital thermometer from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and went back to the kitchen to take Marie's temperature.

"Open up, baby," I said gently. She opened her mouth and I stuck the tip of the thermometer in. After waiting for about 20 seconds, I took it out and checked her temperature. 101.5 degrees. Oh great.

"How come you didn't wake me up?" I asked Marie as I set the thermometer on the counter. She shrugged her shoulders and picked up her crayons to continue colouring. Again, she was like me; she didn't like other people taking care of her. But the difference was that I was twenty-three and she was five!

"Are you coughing?" I asked.

"A little."

"Does your tummy hurt?" She shook her head.

"Do you feel like throwing up?" Had she thrown up already?

"A little."

I sighed, before turning around to make myself some coffee. She probably had a really bad cold, or maybe even the flu. I guess I was going to take her to the doctor today, just to make sure it wasn't anything serious, though I doubt it was.

I picked up the phone and called work, deciding to call in sick. Since Edward was both my supervisor and manager and basically anything else that fell under the 'boss' category, he picked up.

"Hello, Edward Cullen speaking." I was a little surprised that he was at the office so early in the morning. It wasn't even seven yet. **(I'm not sure who answers when you call in sick, so bear with me)**

"Mr. Cullen, it's me, Bella Swan," I said, trying to make my voice sound weak. He had to believe I was sick in order to let me have the day off.

"Ah, yes. What is it, Miss Swan?" His voice still sounded incredibly velvety over the phone.

"I'm calling in sick, today." I tried to make my voice raspy, like Marie's.

He chuckled on the other end, not seeming to buy my act. Damn it. "What exactly do you have?" he said, sounding amused. That wasn't what I was going for.

"Uh, a really bad cold," _fake_ _sniff_, "or the flu. I'm not really sure." _Fake sniff._

"Alright, Bella, when you're _really _ill, then I'll let you have the day off, but not when you're faking it."

Damn him and his perceptiveness.

"Fine, I'm not really sick," I said, dropping the act, making him chuckle some more. "But can I please have the day off?"

"Why? You've already spent the entire weekend away from the office. You may not like Mondays, but neither do I. Besides, today is rather busy. I have several appointments and meetings. I need you _here_ to organize everything and keep things on schedule. Any other day, I may consider it, but today is especially busy."

I sighed. "Can you please take care of those things on your own, sir? This is important too. My-"

"No. You're needed here. Today is important. It's the first day I will be contributing to meetings and such. I can't afford for you to skip out on this day."

"But-"

"Do I need to repeat myself, Miss Swan? Whatever problem is preventing you from working today needs to be put aside. I don't care how you deal with it; bring your problems here to the office if you need to. Just get here!"

I was seriously getting agitated. "Yeah, but-"

"No more arguments."

"My daught-"

"I'll see you in forty-five minutes." He hung up.

The nerve of him! He hardly let me speak! I understand where he's coming from, but during the whole conversation, he was all "_me, me, me._" He didn't even take a second to consider that maybe my situation was important too. My child was ill! That man should quit looking at his reflection all the time and start seeing other people. I understood today meant a lot to him, but he should've listened to me. I should have been given at least the morning off. They could have given him a supply secretary in the meantime, I was sure.

Sighing, I walked back over to Marie and lifted her up, taking her to her room. She really must not have been feeling well for she made no protest. She didn't even make a sound. Poor baby.

Everyone I knew who would be willing to look after Marie for the day was at work and I couldn't afford to pay for a babysitter, nor would I be able to find one in such short notice. She wasn't registered in a day care and she definitely was in no condition to go to school. I could stay home and take care of her, but I would probably get in heaps of trouble if not fired.

So what to do?

_I don't care how you deal with it; bring your problems here to the office if you need to. _

Bring Marie to work? No way. I wasn't sure if that was allowed, although Mr. Cullen _did_ give me permission. If I get permission from my boss, then everything should be alright. I already knew Edward's schedule, and it didn't involve me going anywhere or for anyone important to come into his office today (_he_ was going _to_ the important people), so it wasn't like anyone would see Marie.

I didn't really like it, but bringing Marie to work with me was my only option. I wasn't going to leave her here alone and I really didn't want to be fired. I knew this was completely unprofessional, but I didn't plan to stay in work for long.

I would pop into Edward's office, show him Marie's condition, and then get his permission to leave. He would have to let me go after seeing Marie. I didn't plan on staying there all day with my daughter. As soon as he saw how sick Marie was, I was sure Edward would let me have at least the morning off.

Realizing I had barely half an hour left, I rushed around the apartment, gulping down my coffee and dressing both myself and Marie. No need to arrange an appointment with a family doctor; I would just go into a walk-in clinic.

"You're going to come with me to work for a little bit, and then we're gonna go to the doctor, okay?" I told Marie as I strapped her in to the car. I got Rose to fix it yesterday and now it worked fine, of course. Rose was better than any mechanic.

Marie just nodded. I closed her door and got into the driver's side.

Did I mention how much I hate Mondays?

* * *

I rushed into my office just on time. Dumping my bag on the ground behind my desk, I sat down and started my computer. Marie was on my lap, her little body snuggled into my chest. She just looked like a little bump stuck to my front side. I kept one of my hands on my computer mouse and the other was rubbing Marie's back.

After sorting a few files and rescheduling a few appointments, I felt it was safe to leave. Everything was set for today and Edward could handle himself. He just needed me because he wasn't responsible enough or too lazy to do things himself. Get a grip!

Just as I was about to get up and knock on Edward's door, it opened, with a very business-like professional Edward Cullen walking through it. He certainly looked the part of a businessman, but was he prepared? This _was_ pretty big for him, considering he's been babied his whole life. Prince, pft.

"Bella, have you-", he stopped short when he saw the little mound resting on my chest.

"Bella, what is that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I sensed a bit of annoyance in his voice, probably fed up with my antics; trying to call in sick, asking for an important day off, and now this.

"You mean, _who_ is that. And this is my daughter. You've met Marie before."

"Yes, but what the hell is she doing in my office?!"

"Please don't raise your voice, Mr. Cullen. Marie is here because you never gave me a chance to explain myself earlier on the phone. The reason I needed today off was because Marie is sick and I want to take her to a doctor, or at least stay home and take care of her. And before you ask; no. No one is available to care for her today instead. Not even my non-existent _husband_." I gently brushed a curl out of Marie's flushed face. Her eyes were closed and her breathing laboured as she slept.

I looked up at Edward to see that he was still annoyed, but his gaze had softened somewhat when he saw Marie's poor state. At least he had some compassion in him. But, I swear, his mood swings were making me dizzy. Edward's personality was the greatest mystery sometimes. Not even Freud could've figured him out.

"May I please leave so I can get Marie to a doctor?" I asked a little impatiently. Marie's breathing wasn't sounding healthy. I was getting more worried about her.

Edward looked conflicted between annoyance and concern. Annoyance at me, I was sure, and concern for Marie. Who could look at Marie and not melt like butter? Even in her sickened state, she was so damn cute.

Edward sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it even more tousled than usual. I was momentarily distracted by the way the lights would shine off his hair, giving it an almost coppery hue…

"Bella…" His voice snapped me out of my shameful ogling. "This day really _is_ important and I do need you here, wait," he said as I opened my mouth to protest, "I never said you can't go at all. Wait until the afternoon. The morning is far more hectic. If your daughter becomes worse before then, you can leave, but wait until the morning is over. Deal?"

I was a little peeved he didn't add a single 'please' in there. This was my child's health we were talking about, and he couldn't let me go? He didn't expect me to hang around here for the next few hours waiting for my lunch break to take Marie to the doctor, did he?

"Can't you get someone to fill in for me, today? I've already taken care of your scheduling," I said, trying to keep my voice from sounding whiny.

"Miss Swan, please stop trying to get the full day off, because you won't." Sure, now I get a 'please'.

"Fine," I said angrily. He wasn't a parent, he wouldn't understand, but have some human compassion, here! Not everything is about you!

But that's just how I expected him to act. He was after all, a spoiled rich kid who had never been taught the hard way of life. Self-absorbed, cocky, arrogant, a ladies man, and so much more. I bet he didn't even know what poverty was. I knew that if I were rich, I'd make my children earn their rewards, not do all the work myself and let them reap the benefits.

Edward My-head-is-too-big Cullen went back into his office while I turned to my computer once more. I still had four hours until I was let go for lunch. At least I had been given the afternoon off.

I looked back down at Marie and then decided to be civil towards Edward just for today. It looked like I would need the next couple of days off to look after Marie and I needed to be on his good side for him not to throw a hissy fit like he did today.

I took my thermometer out of my purse and took Marie's temperature again. 100.4 degrees. Well, it went down by one degree…

Marie coughed and my anger towards Edward Cullen disappeared, replaced with worry and concern. If this was the flu, well, Marie had never had it before and she was quite young. How would she handle it? Would she need to be hospitalized? Oh my God, some people _died_ from the flu!

Calm down, breathe in, breathe out… calm down…

Suddenly remembering to do something, I flipped open my cell phone and dialed Rose's own cell number. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Bells, what's up?" she said as soon as she answered.

"Hey, Rose. You don't need to pick up Marie from school today, she's sick."

"Oh, with what?"

"Either a really bad cold or a case of the flu," I replied, stroking Marie's hair. "I'm taking her to the doctor this afternoon to make sure."

"Are you home with her right now?"

"No," I said, rolling my eyes. "My so called _Pride and Prejudice_ boss won't let me have the full day off."

"Why not?!" Rose was always super concerned and protective when it came to Marie. She adored kids and since she had none of her won, she saw Marie as a little more than just a godchild.

"Because today is supposed to be extremely important and he _needs_ me here," I huffed.

"Selfish men," she retorted.

"Tell me about it."

I was about to say something else before I heard someone in the background from Rose's end. It sounded like a guy.

"_Rosalie? Rosalie Hale!"_

"Oh no…" I heard Rosalie say.

"What? What? Who is that?" I asked, very curious. Was it Royce?! Jeez, was he stalking her at work now or something?

But it wasn't him.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Cullen." Huh? It didn't sound musical enough to be Edward, and besides, he was in his office. I was seriously confused.

"_You remember me! And_ _call me Emmett_."

Oh.

"Alright… Emmett. Listen, I'd love to chat, but I'm in the middle of an important phone call." I stopped myself from snorting. Sure it was important, if you called chatting with your best friend on the job important.

"_Oh. Sorry. I'm going to be here for a while. I'll talk to you later. See ya."_

"Care to explain?" I asked as soon as Rose returned to our conversation.

"Ugh. Seems like Cullen Inc. has run into some legal messy stuff, I'm sure you've heard of it, and came here. It's not the first time we've helped them, but it _is_ the first time we have after they've hired Carlisle Cullen's sons. Emmett Cullen must have been one of the reps they sent over today. Probably testing his capabilities or whatever. I'm in the lounge right now instead of my office. That's how he saw me."

I actually _had_ heard of the little legal mess they were in. Nothing overly serious. Just some customer who wants money for some kind of mishap or other. It was one of those things the department I worked in wasn't involved with, so I didn't really care. I only heard of it through Jessica's morning ramblings, which I only half listened to anyway.

Rosalie was a lawyer at a prestigious law firm here in Chicago. I knew her firm had helped out Cullen Inc. in these circumstances before.

"Well, are you going to go hide in your office now? It sounded like Emmett really wanted to talk with you," I teased, not forgetting the way the two caught each other's eyes on Saturday. In case you were wondering, no, I wasn't going to let that go for a long time. Snort.

"Well then I'm afraid he'll just be disappointed then," Rose said on the other end.

"I know you don't actually mind though," I snickered.

"Shut up, Bella."

"Yes, Miss Hale, or actually, _Mrs. Cullen_…"

"Bella…"

"Okay, okay, I'm done now," I said, suppressing any more laughs I had left.

"Good, or else I'd have to bring up you and your Edward again," I could hear the smugness in her voice.

"Not this again…" I groaned. This only fueled her fire.

"Oh no, Bella, it _is_ that again. So, have you guys kissed yet? Made-out?" she teased.

"That's rather blunt."

"Answer the question, Swan."

"No, we have not, and we never will. I seriously don't get what all the teasing is about anyway." I was getting annoyed. "He's my boss, so it's not like anything can happen, even if I wanted something to. Not to mention I hate his guts. His disposition transitions have been so annoying. Sometimes he's perfectly civil, and other times, he's a pompous brat."

"Maybe he's using the kindergarten method, as elementary as that is. You know, bugging you and picking on you because he likes you."

"Hardly, although he definitely seems to have the maturity for that at times. He wasn't being immature today though, just selfish. I wanted the day off to take care of my baby, he wanted me to stay since he can't handle being on his own. I don't understand why he couldn't just call someone else to take my place for the day."

"Once again, maybe he likes you and didn't want you to leave for the entire day without him seeing and speaking to you first."

"As romantic as that sounds, Rosalie, I doubt very much that that's the case. Even if he did like me, it would only be physical attraction. He doesn't even know me. But a guy would have to be crazy to be physically attracted to me. I'm not you."

"Bella, you know I hate it when you say things like that. You can't compare us; we're completely different people. You're beautiful, Bella. And of course men are physically attracted to you! How the hell was Marie created, then?"

I laughed lightly, "Good point. But that doesn't change anything, and I'm still stuck here with a very sick Marie attached to me."

"Poor you."

"Yeah, yeah. Pity me."

I looked at me computer screen. "I have to go now Rose. I'll talk to you later."

"Call me tonight to tell me how Marie's doing, okay?"

"Yup."

I hung up and sighed. This was going to be a long morning.

I turned around in my chair to see Edward Cullen just coming out of his office. Strange, I didn't here the click of the door opening. Had it been open this whole time…?

"I was just going to knock on your door, Mr. Cullen," I said.

He looked at me with hard, cold eyes. I was a little taken aback by them. He didn't seem so… detached and cold earlier. Did something make him angry? He walked stiffly towards the door to leave for his meeting. I noticed that he not only seemed colder, but he also looked… contemplating. Like he was concentrating hard on something, trying to figure it out. He shook his head as if scolding himself.

When he reached the doorway, Edward turned around to face me. His eyes had a tinge of sadness and disappointment. This surprised me. What was wrong with him?

"You can leave for the day now, Bella," he said. My eyes widened.

"Huh?"

He chuckled humorlessly. "I said you can leave. Take the rest of the day off. Marie looks like she could use a doctor as soon as possible."

"Uh, um, are you sure?" I asked, sounding stupid. I was surprised he was letting me go. He had been so insistent before on me staying.

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Cullen," I said, standing up and putting back on my coat. I put Marie, who was still sleeping, in my empty chair.

I quickly gathered my things and picked up Marie again. She opened her eyes and coughed a bit. "Mommy…" her voice hoarse.

"We're going to see the doctor now, Marie," I said soothingly as I positioned her comfortably in my arms.

"Do I hafta get a needle?"

I chuckled. "No, I don't think so."

"Okay." She closed her eyes again and nestled further into my arms.

As I walked past Edward, who was still standing by the doorway, his voice stopped me.

"Bella?"

I turned around. "Yes?"

He looked at the ground, a little embarrassed. "I want to… apologize for my behaviour earlier. I know your daughter's health is most important to you." He looked up to see my reaction.

I was dumbfounded. Did _the_ Edward Cullen just apologize to _moi? _What had brought this on all of a sudden? He seemed so sure of himself earlier; now he was all nervous and almost fidgety. Must have been his first meeting that was making him like this. He was probably still arrogant ad spoiled on the inside.

But he did apologize…

"Uh… th-thanks," I stuttered like an idiot. I was just so shocked. He nodded and walked off briskly. I turned around and walked down the opposite way, still a little shell shocked. I always thought that people like Edward Cullen believed apologizing was below them, especially after meeting many rich jerks in the company. Weird.

As soon as I left the building, the cool wind outside hit me, taking me out of my thoughts. I blinked a couple of times as I opened my car door.

What the hell just happened?

* * *

**A/N: Done! Hit or Miss? Hot or Not? Complete gold or Complete Trash?**

**Once again, I'm sorry for being such a bad updater. Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee a much faster update for next time. I **_**really**_** want to finish SOTD by Christmas or Boxing Day (that's the day right after Christmas for those of you not living in a British Commonwealth country like I am). I'll update again sometime next week.**

**If you want me to update faster, REVIEW! I'll only update faster if I get more REVIEWS!!! REVIEWS help me type speedy fast!!!**

**Peace out.**


	6. Outta my Head

**A/N: Hey, it's me again. You're welcome for the faster update :D **

**This will probably be the last or second-last chapter for the next week since I want to finish SOTD by December 27, at the latest. Forgive me if this doesn't satisfy you, but after SOTD is done, this story will be my main focus plus I'll be starting a new story too. I'm happy with all the good reception I got for the last chapter. For you, I add this special EPOV bit at the beginning of this chapter. The idea was given to me by readingmylifeaway. I wasn't originally going to add any EPOV parts for a while, but after much consideration, I decided to. I hope you're happy!**

**So on with Chapter SIX!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"_Uh… th-thanks," I stuttered like an idiot. I was just so shocked. He nodded and walked off briskly. I turned around and walked down the opposite way, still a little shell shocked. I always thought that people like Edward Cullen believed apologizing was below them, especially after meeting many rich jerks in the company. Weird. _

_As soon as I left the building, the cool wind outside hit me, taking me out of my thoughts. I blinked a couple of times as I opened my car door._

_What the hell just happened?_

**Chapter 6: Outta my Head**

**EPOV**

I ran a hand through my hair for the millionth time that morning.

The stress from my first meeting and appointments was eating me up. It irked me even more when Bella decided to call in sick. She was a horrible actress and I knew right away she was faking it. It shocked and appalled me even more to find her daughter, her _daughter_, asleep in her arms right here in my office!

I couldn't help but treat Bella the way I did. When I first met her, I thought she was no more than the other countless women who had thrown themselves at me before. I knew that she wasn't like that now, but she still probably desired a romance with me. Most, if not all, the women I had worked with in the past had.

I know I sounded cocky, but that was just the way it was.

I stood up and started pacing around the room. I wouldn't admit it, but I was completely nervous. First impressions are everything, and I needed to make a good one in the meeting. It shouldn't be too hard… I made a good first impression on most everyone.

It was another 20 minutes still until I needed to be in the conference room, but I couldn't wait anymore. No one would penalize me for being early.

I opened my office door quietly and was about to leave when I heard Bella talking, sounding annoyed.

"… or actually, _Mrs. Cullen_," she snickered. Cullen? Was she talking about me? And who was she talking to? _Marie?!_

I peered through the crack of the door and saw a cell phone pressed to her ear. Her back was too me as she sat in her chair. My mother, Esme, always taught me to be a gentleman and to not eavesdrop, but if Bella was talking about _me_, then I wanted to know what she would say.

"Okay, okay, I'm done now…" her face fell. "Not this again… That's rather blunt…" Bella's face scrunched up in disgust. I wondered what, or who, could possibly repulse her so.

"No, we have not, and we never will. I seriously don't get what all the teasing is about anyway." she sounded annoyed. "He's my boss, so it's not like anything can happen, even if I wanted something to. Not to mention I hate his guts. His disposition transitions have been so annoying. Sometimes he's perfectly civil, and other times, he's a pompous brat."

I was shocked. Was that really what she thought of me? A pompous brat? I admit I wasn't always on my best behaviour, but that was harsh.

"Hardly, although he definitely seems to have the maturity for that at times. He wasn't being immature today though, just selfish. I wanted the day off to take care of my baby, he wanted me to stay since he can't handle being on his own. I don't understand why he couldn't just call someone else to take my place for the day."

Selfish?! How dare she! Didn't she understand how important this day was? If I didn't do well, I could lose everything! I felt sparks of anger as I realized just how ignorant this girl was. She knew _nothing_ about me. I needed a good secretary for today. She needed to put her problems aside and help me, for today was too vital for me.

"As romantic as that sounds, Rosalie, I doubt very much that that's the case. Even if he did like me, it would only be physical attraction. He doesn't even know me. But a guy would have to be crazy to be physically attracted to me. I'm not you."

I was a little surprised at that. Bella may have been ignorant and rude, but she was certainly beautiful. That was what led me to believe she was nothing more than the superficial girls I met all the time; humble and modest girls did not look like her. She wasn't like a supermodel, but more of a natural beauty.

She laughed lightly, and I found myself drawn to the sound. "Good point. But that doesn't change anything, and I'm still stuck here with a very sick Marie attached to me… Yeah, yeah. Pity me." She glanced at the computer screen. "I have to go now Rose. I'll talk to you later… Yup."

Bella hung up and turned around in her chair to face me. I took this as my que to walk through the door. I kept my face a cold hard mask. She had no right to say such things about me. It was an important day and I needed her to be here to help me.

"I was just going to knock on your door, Mr. Cullen," she said.

I ignored her and glanced towards Marie before turning towards the door. My heart squeezed a little when I looked at her. She was so small and fragile… and sick. She looked so much like Bella, apart from the hair. No little girl had ever interested me like Marie had. I felt immensely guilty having to keep her from seeing a doctor.

But this was so vital to me. I kept saying this over and over again because it was true. Marie would just have to wait to see a doctor. This was far to big.

Wait, rethinking that… Oh God. I _was_ selfish.

I was so used to people practically worshipping me, I didn't really think anyone thought negatively of me. I certainly didn't think I was self-centered.

I just made a whole speech, or rant, on how a little innocent girl shouldn't be given the right to see a doctor just because I felt my needs came first. Bella wanted to stay home today not for herself, but for her child. I wanted her to come just for myself.

I felt like a jerk.

I was still a little annoyed at the things Bella said about me, because I knew they weren't all entirely true. I was acting selfish today, yes, but because this day was too big of a deal, not that made my actions any more excusable. I guess Bella's first impression of me was an arrogant and selfish ass.

Well, first impressions can be proven wrong.

My first impression of her was not so good, and that was only from looking at her! When she spoke, I was a little surprised that it was with a maturity many other women her age didn't have. I was proven even more wrong when I found out she had a daughter. Bella looked to still be in her early twenties. Being only twenty-five myself, I had no plans to become a father anytime soon. Bella's pregnancy must have been unplanned.

I was curious about Bella Swan. It bothered me to hear the poor opinion she had of me.

If I was going to learn more about Bella, and also to create a less awkward work atmosphere, I decided to do the closest thing I could to apologizing. I may have been chastised, but I couldn't apologize, not yet. I still had too much pride.

"You can leave for the day now, Bella," I said. Her eyes widened. Was it really that surprising I do something kind?

"Huh?"

I chuckled, but found no humor in the situation. "I said you can leave. Take the rest of the day off. Marie looks like she could use a doctor as soon as possible."

"Um, are you sure?"

"Yes."

Thanking me, Bella gathered her things and scooped up Marie in her arms. The mother and daughter exchanged a few words, Marie sounding pitifully weak, and Bella walked out of the office. As she passed me, I smelled a floral scent come off her, like freesia mixed with strawberries.

Marie coughed and I felt the pang to my heart again. I was a proud person. I built myself on my pride and stubbornness… but a little child shouldn't have had to suffer for it.

Man-up Cullen and just say it.

"Bella?"

She turned. "Yes?"

I looked at the ground, embarrassed. "I want to… apologize for my behaviour earlier. I know your daughter's health is most important to you." I looked up to see her reaction.

Her eyes were very wide and she looked dumbfounded. I almost grimaced from the horrible impression of myself I must have given her. I may have been arrogant at times, and call this a horrible excuse, but it was in my nature.

"Uh… th-thanks," she stuttered. I nodded and walked away towards the conference room. Bella Swan may have had the worst opinion of me, but hopefully, I could change it.

I couldn't explain why I needed her to think better of me; I just did.

* * *

**BPOV**

"It seems, Miss Swan, that your daughter has a case of the common flu," the doctor said. I let out a breath in relief.

Wait… the flu could be lethal…

"It doesn't look too serious. She should stay in bed for the rest of the week. Right now, she probably won't be able to keep down anything you feed her, but try to keep giving her fluids. Her vomiting should be over by tomorrow. Just keep giving her fluids like water and soup. She should be fine, or at least mostly recovered, by the end of the week."

He prescribed some antibiotics for Marie and thus ended our little visit to the doctor's office. I had the prescription filled out, grateful it would help Marie get better, and thankful this wasn't anything serious. I was always a little paranoid when it came to Marie's well-being. I guess because she was my anchor. I couldn't let her get hurt.

At home, I put Marie in her bed and decided to make her some chicken soup. She would probably just vomit it out again, but she needed fluids and hopefully some chicken soup would comfort her.

As I entered my tiny kitchen, I pressed the 'play' button on my answering machine. I had one message.

"_Hello Bella." _I almost jumped when I heard the phone-i-fied version of his velvety smooth voice. What the hell was he doing calling me at home?

"_I didn't call your cell for I figured your at the doctor's right now." _Oh, right. _"I just wanted you to know that if your daughter's condition is poor, you may take tomorrow off as well as today. That will give you ample time to find a babysitter for when you return on Wednesday. I also sent you a few files that need working on, which you can do on your laptop. I'll see you on Wednesday."_

Once again, I was surprised. That was actually very… considerate of Edward. I thought I would have to beg for tomorrow off. I knew I'd be able to find someone to look after Marie by Wednesday.

I tried to push Edward out of my mind as I made Marie the soup. This wasn't an easy task, getting Edward out of my head, I mean. The way he looked, both when he came out of his office and while he was apologizing to me was so… different for him. Apologizing was obviously not an easy task for him; his arrogant manner displayed that.

But when he did say sorry, he looked so _vulnerable_. Like this was something totally new and he was afraid he was doing it wrong. As if I'd yell at him or something for it.

He had an almost unfathomable look when he glanced at Marie before leaving. It wasn't mean or condescending, just unfathomable. I couldn't decipher it. Nor could I decipher exactly what had caused Edward's major mood swing either.

I shook Edward out of my head, but it didn't work. I just couldn't get the image of rapidly changing facial expression off my mind. They were so puzzling and bizarre. His smooth voice talked inside my head too; his apology replaying itself over and over again.

Edward was such a mystery.

I ladled a little bit of soup into a small bowl and carried it to Marie's room.

"Here, sweetie," I said sitting down on the side of her bed. "You should eat a little bit of this. The doctor said it will be good for you."

I held up a spoonful of soup to Marie's mouth, but she shook her head. "I don't feel like eating, Mommy," she croaked.

"I know, but please, just a few spoons and that's it."

I could tell she really didn't want to, but opened her mouth obediently and sipped the soup. She liked the taste, so she had another spoonful, and another…

And that's when she puked.

It wasn't surprising. I expected it, so I put a bucket beside her bed just for this purpose. Poor baby. I held Marie's hair back as she upchucked the soup and whatever else was left over in her stomach into the bucket. I brushed the strands of hair stuck to Marie's forehead as she finished.

"Mommy…" she said pathetically as she reached for me. It was never fun for a five-year-old to throw up.

"It's alright," I said soothingly, rubbing her back. "It will pass soon and you'll feel all better."

After vomiting once more, Marie fell asleep. I put the bowl back in the kitchen and decided to watch TV for the next couple of hours, occasionally getting up to check on Marie. She threw up again and I emptied her bucket, as gross as that sounded.

After a few hours of rotating between the television and Marie, the buzzer on the intercom rang. I looked at the clock and saw it was five in the evening. Time was just flying today. Rose, despite being a junior lawyer, had a slightly more easy schedule than I did. It was probably her, checking up on Marie.

"Hey," I said, just in case it wasn't Rosalie.

"Hi Bella. It's me, Rose."

"Come on up."

I put in a movie in the DVD player since the _Friends_ marathon ended on TV. The movie was _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_. Call me a little kid, but I loved both the Harry Potter books and movie. I loved the whole Potter franchise. As I plopped down on the couch, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in, Rose. You have a key," I said as I walked to the kitchen and got myself a coke.

The door opened and Rosalie let herself in.

But she wasn't the only ones who came in.

"_Hello!_ Izzy!" Rose called unnecessarily from the doorway; the entryway to the microscopic kitchen was right next to the door. She just liked to cause noise. I noticed she called my Izzy. Izzy was a sort of nickname Rosalie sometimes called me. I guess it made her feel more special or closer to me since everyone already called me Bella instead of Isabella. In response I called her Li-Li, which annoyed her to no end.

"I'm right her, Li-Li," I said, coming out of the kitchen. I hoped she would stay for a while. I needed a distraction from all my thoughts swirling around Edward. His kindness towards me just as I was leaving his office, his kindness towards Marie, was still puzzling me. I just couldn't seem to get him out of my head, no matter how much I wanted to. Why did he let me go early after he was so stubborn to keep me there? Was he bi-polar?

Actually, bi-polar seemed very likely.

I turned to face Rosalie and was frozen in place.

Both Emmett and _Edward_ Cullen were standing behind Rose in my entryway. Was I hallucinating? What the _hell_ were they doing here?! This was the second time in three says that I had seen them outside of work. Were they stalking me? Actually, coming to my place of residence _did_ seem rather stalkerish.

"Uh… um…" I said stupidly. Great, now I couldn't articulate properly. To Emmett, I must have come off as the world's greatest doofus.

"Hey, Bella," Rose said, "sorry I didn't tell you they were coming. It was kind of unexpected."

"Um… why?" I said, looking back at Rose.

"Emmett asked me out to get a drink after work," I raised my eyebrows at her, but she ignored it. "And I was just over here to check on Marie before we go do that. We met Edward outside your building, saying he was returning something you left at the office."

I turned to Edward and said, "How do you know where I live?"

He smirked, "It's amazing how easy it is to gather employee information from the company computers, Bella."

I glared at him. Wasn't that breaking some privacy policy or something?

This was just fabulous. I was trying to get Edward out of my head, and here he is, as if he was trying to foil my plans. This would make trying to forget him all the harder. What the hell did I leave at the office that he felt the need to come to my apartment and return to me in person?!

"Hey, Bella!" Emmett said, smiling wide.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," I responded politely.

He grinned even wider. "Hello back to ya!" He seemed so much more 'loose' than his brother. "I've been wanting to see the girl Eddie won't shut up about, again!"

Say what?

"Emmett!" Edward hissed before looking away at what seemed like a particularly interesting spot on the wall. This definitely wasn't helping me.

I shook my head full of jumbled thoughts. "What is it you needed to bring to me?" I asked. Edward held up his hand which was holding my dark blue knit scarf. You have got to be kidding me. My _scarf?_ Really?

Surprisingly, the fact he felt the need to return something so miniscule in person to me was almost touching. I quickly shook it off though. He probably still hated me, for whatever reason unknown, and I still hated him. Reason known.

I took the scarf from him. "Thanks," I murmured as I put it away. "Rose, Marie's sleeping in her room. You can go check on her if you want." Rosalie nodded and went off to Marie's room. Emmett watched her go.

"Can I go see her too?" he asked, although I doubted he wanted to see Marie, I nodded. He left, leaving a very awkward silence between Edward and I. I went back to the couch and sat down, expecting Edward to leave. He did what he came to do. Why stay?

"Do you have some water?" he asked. Uh... okay.

"Uh, yeah. I have some bottled water in the fridge in the kitchen," I said, pointing the right way to him. I didn't want to look at him or hear what he thought of my home, for he surely must have had some kind of opinion of it. Sure, it may not have been as huge and luxurious as his place, but who ever need all that added stuff anyway?

Edward went into the kitchen and I waited for either him or Rose and Emmett to come back. Over five minutes passed, and still no sign of anybody. Rose and Emmett were probably taking so long because Marie probably woke up and was talking to Rose. Edward on the other hand had no excuse. Was he really that slow of a water drinker? Or was he just frozen with amazement over the size and quality of a commoner's kitchen. It was probably the latter.

Checking to see what was taking him so long, I got up and went into the kitchen.

Edward was in there, standing next to the table, staring at something in his hands. His back was to me. I took a few steps so I was standing next to him.

"Mr. Cullen, what's-" I stopped short seeing what Edward was holding.

It was the bill for Renee's psychiatric treatment at the hospital.

Lovely. I must have left it out on the table. I wasn't expecting anyone but Rose, and maybe Alice, to come over today, so I didn't bother to put it away. He probably thought I was mental. This would get me fired for sure.

Snatching it out of his hand I hissed, "You should know better than to looked at other people's private mail."

He looked at me calmly, but curiously. "If it was so private, then why was it out here in the open?"

"I wasn't expecting my _boss_ to come and snoop in my kitchen!"

"I wasn't snooping. It was just there. You couldn't have expected me to miss it with the name of the hospital written so boldly."

I looked down and cringed at the bolded, big text. Was that really necessary?

He opened his mouth again, probably to ask more questions, but I cut him off. "All the same, you shouldn't have looked."

"I didn't open it."

"All the same."

Edward looked as if he had a million questions, and I'm sure he did, but I didn't want to hear it nor did I want to tell him that I had a mental, slightly psychotic, and formerly suicidal mother staying at the hospital.

"Before you ask," I said, "No, I am not receiving mental care here, I am merely helping someone out by paying for them. Not that you even need to know." I glared at him. "I know you have some, so keep your comments to yourself. I don't want to hear them."

He stared at me coldly, and I glared right back. It was silent for a few agonizingly slow moments before someone by the entryway cleared his throat. Snapping out of it, we both looked at Emmett, who was looking uncomfortable.

"Rosalie and I are going to take off. See ya, Bella," he said.

"I should go too," Edward said, hi voice stiff and proper.

I resisted the urge to say 'you should'.

Rose hugged me goodbye with a promise of a phone call and _details_. I promised her endless teasing, but I didn't say that of course. After saying goodbye to Emmett, who boomed a goodbye right back in my face, I turned to say a cold goodbye to Edward.

Only, he already left.

I blinked a few times at the empty space he occupied just seconds ago.

Somehow I knew who would be in my thoughts for the rest of the night.

* * *

**A/N: Hit or Miss?**

**Not my best, in my opinion. Kinda sloppy. But it's not my opinion I want to know. Tell me yours! **

**You know what to do! REVIEW!!!**

**Peace out.**


	7. Numb

**A/N: GAH! You guys were truly AWESOME in the review department last chapter! WOO! **

**Sorry for the slower updates guys. I've been busy with finishing up "Shadow of the Day" (which is completed now, so check it out!) and finally posting the first chapter of my new story "A Vision Stained with Red" (which you should also check out!). I know I can make a thousand excuses, but those are the main reasons. This would have been up sooner, but with the holidays, I had a lot of family stuff to go to. Thanks to everyone who was patient and didn't pressure me to type faster. I've been very stressed as of late and I'm afraid it's just going to get worse, so please try to understand I'm doing the best I can here.**

**Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter and yes; poor, poor Marie.**

**On with Chapter SEVEN!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Marie, so HA!**

* * *

_Rose hugged me goodbye with a promise of a phone call and _details_. I promised her endless teasing, but I didn't say that of course. After saying goodbye to Emmett, who boomed a goodbye right back in my face, I turned to say a cold goodbye to Edward._

_Only, he already left._

_I blinked a few times at the empty space he occupied just seconds ago._

_Somehow I knew who would be in my thoughts for the rest of the night._

**Chapter 7: Numb**

Friday rolled around without incident. By Wednesday, after lots of begging, I managed to find someone to look after Marie for the rest of the week. Or rather, _three_ someones.

Since there were three days left in the week, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper all agreed to take one day each off of work to look after Marie. Today was Friday; therefore it was Jasper's responsibility. I felt a little guilty having my friends take time off work to look after my daughter, but I really couldn't afford a professional babysitter.

Edward had now been working here at Cullen Inc. for officially a week. It was amazing what just a week does. On his first day, he was bugging me like crazy and sending me off to do the stupidest tasks. Now, he was _still_ sending me off running around all day, but at least he wasn't bugging me anymore. Actually, he kind of was, but not in the same way.

Edward had become very distant. I felt like dubbing him "Mute Man" since he barely ever spoke! It was like that whole incident with Marie getting sick and him showing up at my apartment was some life changing experience. Like he could now see the world through an entirely new perspective, and that perspective was a silent one. He had said hardly anything to me since then, other than instructions for an errand; even then he kept it very brief and to the point.

The whole silent treatment was kind of getting on my nerves. Did the fact that I refused to tell him about Renee's bill really that horrific, that I was no longer worthy of the use of his vocal chords? He had issues.

I knew I was being a little unreasonable; I hated it when he spoke to me, and now that he was silent, I hated it even more.

I was seriously losing my sanity working here.

"Why so glum, Bella?" Jessica asked, walking into my office, holding a stack of papers in her hands.

_Like you care,_ I thought sourly. I knew I had no right to my anger; technically she hadn't done anything wrong, but I knew she didn't genuinely care. Jessica simply craved for anything to talk about. Anything she could spread around and gossip about with Lauren Mallory.

I looked up at her and shrugged. "I'm fine," I responded generically. Ah, the universal saying, '_I'm fine'_.

Jessica, who was never very perceptive, let it go and then tapped the stack of papers in her hands smugly.

"I'm going to go give these to _Edward_, now," she said, as if she just won the lottery prize, giving her some kind of power and privilege over me. Well, whoop de doo for her and good luck trying to get him to respond to your obvious flirtations. I saw him every single day, and he was barely responsive to _me_ – not that I was flirting with him of course.

Jessica kept looking at me as if she expected my encouragement or something. What, did she need a cheerleading squad?

"Uh, okay…" I said slowly, not really knowing what she wanted me to say. She smiled before heading over to Edward's office and I went back to my unexciting job of secretary-ing. It was another hour before anything really happened, other than an unsatisfied Jessica walked stiffly out.

I was busily typing up some document or other when I heard Edward's door open. It was ridiculous how I was so attuned to anything that involved him; his footsteps, his voice (during the few times I heard it)… basically anything. It was really weird and a little creepy.

I didn't pay attention as I heard his footsteps getting closer. He either wanted me to do something, again, or was just leaving the office to do something on his own. I didn't know what the hell that would be though, for when I checked his schedule, he didn't have any meetings or appointments at this time.

I jumped slightly when I heard his voice directly in front of me.

"Bella?" It wasn't sharp or demanding at all. The tone was light.

I looked at Edward, trying to hide my surprise. He simply looked amused at me for some reason, much to my annoyance. "Yes, Mr. Cullen?" I said, trying to sound indifferent. His penetrating green eyes seemed to look right through me.

"Step into my office for a moment," he said, before turning around and walking back into his office, leaving the door open for me. My brows furrowed in puzzlement. He never called me into his office, unless he wanted to give me in errand, in which case he would poke his head out the door and bark something at me. What was so important now?

But then my mind got thinking and I stood from my chair, heading to the open door with dread. There were only two reasons I would be called to his office, if not for an errand. 1) I was getting a raise or promotion. Highly unlikely. 2) I was getting fired.

Much more likely.

Oh my God, I was going to be fired!

My panic was steadily climbing as I entered his office. I needed this job, damn it! Without it, I wouldn't have been able to pay the bills and spend time with my daughter. I'd have to take more hours at Starbucks, I'll need to work evenings and weekends, I'll-

"Sit down, Bella," Edward said calmly, nodding towards a chair on the opposite side of his desk from him. He sat in his own big chair, seeming perfectly at ease.

I gulped. This was it. I was going to be fired. I would be taken away from a great paying job with good benefits. I would go bankrupt. My whole life, including Marie's, relied on this job!

I sat down and stared at Edward. He looked contemplating. Probably trying to figure out how to break it to me gently. His gaze finally came back to me, and before he could open his mouth, I said, "Please, just reconsider this, sir."

Edward looked at me confusedly for a second. "Reconsider what?"

I ignored him and went on rambling. "I need this job, sir. I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way, but _please_ think more about this." This was how pathetic I had become. I was practically begging. All I had to do was get down on my knees and kiss his feet.

Well, if that's what it took…

"Bella, what are you talking about?" Edward said, sounding completely baffled. I looked at him, confused.

"I'm asking you not to fire me," I said, having to stop myself from saying it in a 'duh' voice.

He looked at me silently for a second before throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

What the hell…? We were talking about my possible unemployment here, and he was _laughing_?! Anger flared up in me as I sat there, listening to him laugh. This was most certainly _not_ a laughing matter. Well, Edward Cullen, let's put you out there on the streets and then laugh about firing me.

The idiot finally stopped laughing, bringing his amusement down a notch to just a few after-snorts and chuckles. I glared at him. After finally stopping completely, he looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry about that. That was rude," he said. Hell, yeah, it was. "It's just that that idea is so absurd." So he was laughing because I was wrong? That's weird. "And the expression on your face. Priceless." Ah, that explains it – hey, wait!

"That wasn't very funny," I muttered, irritated. That jerk.

"I know. Sorry." He smiled at me apologetically once more. "The real reason I wanted you in here was to talk."

Say what? Talk? About what?

The confusion must have been written pretty clearly on my face, for he quickly explained.

"I won't deny it; you and I had… a rocky start," he began.

"And whose fault is that?" I muttered under my breath. He must have had some kind of super bat hearing, for he heard it and grimaced before continuing.

"I don't want to fire you, Bella, but I don't want to work everyday with you hating me so much either." How did he know I hated him? Had he been spying on me…? Or maybe I was just so obvious in the hate department. I eyed him suspiciously and he cleared his throat. "We need to develop a healthy work environment if we're going to continue working together."

For once he didn't sound cocky or arrogant. I looked at him, calculating. He was definitely bipolar. That explained the craziness in mood swings. Okay, then. I wondered what the chances were of him letting me apply for a switch in positions. I was sure Jessica would have been happy to take my place…

"In order to have a healthy work environment, there shouldn't be any animosity between us. I know this will sound a little weird, but let's start over. Wipe the slate clean."

I stared at him as if he were mental. Why was he going through all this trouble? Last time I checked, he actually _enjoyed_ annoying me!

"I have a better idea," I said, "and it's easier too. I'll just apply for a switch in positions with another secretary. I friend of mine actua-"

"No!" Edward said quickly, looking straight at me. He said it with such force and authority, I was surprised. What was the problem? I didn't understand him at all.

"No," he said, more calmly. "There's no need. I want us to have a good work relationship, Bella."

I still looked at him suspiciously. "And how are we going to do that?" I asked warily.

He leaned back in his chair, nonchalantly. "Well, a good way to becoming friends is to learn about each other."

It all clicked then. He wanted to learn more about me, and through extension, the bill he found in my kitchen days ago. Oh, I knew your plan Mr. Cullen. He just wanted to find out more about the bill and he was covering it up as 'getting to know each other'. Well, curiousity killed the cat.

"Oh please, Mr. Cullen. Don't try to cover it up."

"Cover what up?"

"Cover the fact you just want to get me to tell you about the hospital bill you found in my apartment." Might as well just get straight to the facts. Cut and dry.

He looked surprised for a second, and then slightly annoyed. "You think that's the only reason I want to talk to you?" Oh yeah, definitely annoyed.

"Well, what other reason would there be? I know you're only trying to numb your curiousity."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. I could hear him trying to calm himself down. Did I really annoy him that much? I waited impatiently for him to respond, still a little miffed myself. He finally opened his eyes and looked at me, irritated.

"Bella, this is exactly what I'm talking about; the fighting. It needs to stop. I don't want to have to work in such a tension-filled environment. It will bite us both in the ass, sooner or later."

"Then let me have that transfer in position!"

"No!"

We stared at each other. Actually, _glared_ would have been more appropriate. We just sat like that, glaring, for an immeasurable amount of time. The room was dead silent. Forget about hearing a pin dropping; you could practically here our heart beats. The tension was so thick; I could've sliced it with a knife.

Edward finally broke the silence. "Once again, this is what I'm talking about. Please, just cooperate, Bella. I'm not trying to get you to confess to some big secret. I won't touch on the topic of the bill if you feel uncomfortable."

I eyed him warily.

"I'm only trying to get a better working relationship between us. It's not healthy for us to be arguing on the job all the time."

That, or he was just nosy. I straightened my back and looked him square in the eye. I didn't know exactly why this was so important to him, but maybe he was telling me the truth. He wanted to know more about me… hmm, well that _is_ what friends do, right? Learn more about one another? Besides, I didn't have to get into the gory details of my childhood or anything, with him.

"What do you want to know?" I asked cautiously. _Tread carefully, Edward Cullen._

"Well, let's start with something simple. Oh, and feel free to ask me anything you want." _Like why you're such a two-face?_ "I think we should just concentrate on getting along and learning more about each other. I think it'd help us start anew.

"So…" he paused for a second, thinking. "Tell me about where you're from? That's pretty straightforward."

Ugh. Yes, it was straightforward, yet so complicated. I hated talking about where I came from. For several years, it was almost a taboo subject among my friends. It's easier now, but I still didn't like it.

"Phoenix, Arizona," I answered simply. No need to get into the details.

He looked surprised. I guess I didn't really look like a 'Sunshine girl'.

"What about you?" I asked. Hey, he said I could ask him anything, didn't he?

"I was born and raised here, In Chicago," he said. "I was mostly brought up by my mother since my father was busy with this company, not that he was a bad father. He still spent time with us. What about your parents?"

He was already touching the subject of the hospital bill without even knowing it. How was I going to get past this one?

"Raised by my mom," I said, my answer short again.

"Father?"

I resisted the urge to laugh bitterly. I was such a pathetic case. The one person I vowed not to be was my mother, and yet I ended up more like her than I thought possible. A teenage pregnancy, the father running away, alcohol abuse – although I was now sober and I was sure Renee was getting there too.

"No father," I said, emotionless. I had to be numb, otherwise the feelings of pain and rejection would wash over me, like they did whenever I really let myself think of Renee and the dad I never met. I was wanted by neither of them.

Renee was always working, and when she wasn't working, she was drinking. She never wanted me in the first place, and on top of all that, I was such a disappointment to her. She barely spent time with me, yet she expected me to be the best of the best. Her expectations were too high, especially since she did nothing to motivate them.

She always looked at me with such tired disappointment. It was like everything I did was a mistake to her. I would have been surprised if she actually thought that; it would've meant she was paying attention to me. A rare occurrence. If she ever did pay attention to me, it was always after she had a hangover in the morning, asking me to get Advil for her, or when she would look at me as if she wished I were empty space instead of her child.

It hurt that she thought so lowly of me, even when she was acting kind to me, she never was sincere. I guess in a way, me smoking, drinking, and hanging out with the wrong crowds, were subconscious acts of rebellion against her. Nothing I ever did satisfied Renee, so I gave up.

Edward examined the pained expression on my face, before I quickly smoothed it out again into the emotionless mask. I spoke in a monotone. "Is that enough 'learning about each other' for today, Mr. Cullen?"

He looked incredibly curious, and even slightly concerned for whatever reason, as he nodded, excusing me.

I couldn't have gotten out of that room fast enough.

* * *

"Bella, where's that caramel latte?" my co-worker, Beth, called.

"Right here," I replied, passing her the coffee drink. I smoothed down my Starbucks apron and went back to the coffee machines. Just another regular day at the coffee grind. A day I wish would never end as I was dreading counting down the hours until I got off work and had to visit Renee again. Stupid obligation.

Leaning casually against the side of the machines, fiddling with the apron strings, I heard Beth call out to me again. "Two plain blacks, Bella."

"Yup," I said back, getting out the cups and pouring in plain black coffee. I put on the lids and cardboard cup sleeves before coming out from the back to pass the drinks to Beth. I stopped short as soon as I saw who they were meant for.

Jeez, he wasn't lying when he said he'd come in every Saturday.

Edward smiled amusedly at me. "Hello, Bella," he said smoothly. I stared like an idiot.

"Bella?" Beth said, probably wondering if I was having a minor seizure or something. I snapped out of it and gave her the drinks.

"What are you doing here?" I asked stupidly.

He looked as if he were holding back laughter just by looking at my face. Was I really that repulsive?

"I'm just getting coffee, Bella," he replied.

"So he could get a chance to see you!" I heard a booming voice say from farther away. I looked around Edward to see his brother, Emmett, sitting at one of the tables. Did they always hang out together? That's brotherly love.

Emmett saw me looking at me and started waving enthusiastically, as if I were across a field instead of ten feet away from him. I waved back, a little confused at his enthusiasm. I turned back to Edward and he smirked. "Well, Emmett's also in here for _another_ reason."

I raised one of my eyebrows, curious.

"He's supposed to be meeting-" The door opened and in walked Rosalie. I was a little surprised to see her here. I thought she was going to hang out with Alice and Marie today like usual. I was about to call out to her, when she sat down… across from Emmett?!

"Rose?" I said. Her head whipped around, surprised.

"Bella?" she said, sounding shocked. Why would she be? She knew I worked here on Saturdays…

I stared at her weirdly before nodding my head towards the corner of the shop, wanting to speak in private. Beth opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off.

"It will only take a minute," I said, before leading Rose to the corner.

"Did you have plans to meet Emmett Cullen here?" I asked as soon as we had some sort of privacy, as minimal as it was.

She looked guilty as she nodded. Ever since she went out for drinks with Emmett earlier this week, she had been awfully quiet. It didn't matter how many times Alice and I had bugged her; she would just say that it was 'nice'. We needed way more details than that!

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded, feeling slightly betrayed. Rose always told me about her dates.

"Because I didn't want you or Alice making a huge deal out of it," she said back.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it's not exactly a _little_ deal. It's Emmett freaking Cullen!"

"Shh!"

"Sorry. So are you guys dating or what?"

She shrugged. "Not exclusively."

"Do you like him?"

Rose didn't answer and I got a little annoyed. I switched to another question. "How come you were so surprised to see me? You know I work here today."

"I thought you'd be gone by now."

"Rose, it's," I checked my watch, "2:20 in the afternoon. I don't get off work until 3."

"Don't you leave at 2?"

"No."

"Oh…"

That was weird. Rosalie _never_ forgot things, especially something like my Starbucks hours which I had been working for a while now. I stared at her face and noticed she looked a little… off. She had a sort of far away, almost dreamy look in her eyes. I knew then that she forgot because there was only one thing occupying her mind.

"Rosalie Hale, are you love struck?" I asked suspiciously. She snapped out of it and pretended to look appalled. I could see right through her though.

"You are!" I laughed, giddy at my new discovery.

"I said, shh!" she quickly shushed me. I sealed my lips and threw away the key.

Rose glanced back at Emmett, "I like him, okay? But we're _not_ dating exclusively yet. Whatever you do, _don't_ tell Alice."

"Why not?"

"She'll go overboard and I'll never hear the end of it. I'll tell her if we start seeing each other officially, but until I can call him my boyfriend, keep those lips sealed. Okay?"

I nodded, but knew how difficult it would be to keep this from Alice. I was a horrible liar and Alice was the Queen of Nosiness. She could practically _smell_ secrets, and wouldn't hesitate to pry them out of you. It was just in her nature. I had to be extra careful from now on.

But Rose and _Emmett_! Although I was surprised, I did say that he seemed like her type. Still… it was just so weird.

I went back to work and took peeks at the new almost-couple, chatting away at a table. I knew it would be hard, but I had to be good and try not to tease Rose _too_ much for her crush on my boss's brother. Of course, I was still definitely going to tease her a bit.

I passed another drink to Beth and glanced again to Rose's and Emmett's table. My gaze then moved to the left, to see Edward still here, sitting at a table on his own right next to his brother's, staring at me. I blushed and when he caught my eye, he winked.

* * *

"How are you doing, Mom?" I asked as usual, sitting down in the chair next to her bed.

Renee was sitting up in her bed and fiddling with a drawing Marie drew in her kindergarten class. I decided to bring it to Renee for no particular reason. It was of me and Marie, clumsily drawn, but cute. We were standing outside under an apple tree. Renee gently smoothed out the wrinkles and creases in the paper.

"Fine, considering I'm in the loony bin," she muttered darkly. I sighed. Looked like it was going to be one of her not-so-sweet days. I hoped the therapy would finally kick in and help me see some true improvement. I hated seeing her like this, despite our past relationship.

"Mom, please don't be like this," I sighed. Time to get preachy again. "You're here so you can get help. I want you to get better and you need it. You weren't happy before."

"I'm not happy now," she retorted childishly. Why did I feel like I was the parent and she was the kid?

"And who's fault is that?" I said, a little harsher than I intended. "All the treatment in the world will only do so much, Mom. But the person who can truly make yourself better is _you."_ Oh God, that sounded corny.

"When can I see my granddaughter?" she asked suddenly.

I blinked and resisted the urge to sigh again. We had already been through this. "When you're ready."

"And when will I be ready?"

"When you're not so unstable," I said calmly. Remain calm. Be one with calmness.

"Are you calling me crazy?!" Renee said, raising her voice. This was her norm nowadays; major mood swings and sudden outbursts of anger. This was exactly what I meant about 'unstable'. I couldn't have Marie around someone unable to control their temper.

"Well, what if I am?" I challenged. I knew it probably wasn't smart to go against a mental person right now, but Renee needed to be put in her place. I had to drill it into her thick skull that she wasn't well enough.

"Mom," I said pleadingly, "You're sick. Not physically, but mentally. I'm not saying you're a lunatic and needs to go to an asylum, but you're depressed and angry."

"Maybe there's a reason for that!"

I shook my head. "This is why I don't want Marie seeing you. You're angry and have unnecessary outbursts. Do you think I want my five-year-old daughter around someone who could blow at any given moment? Mom, you. Are. Sick. You need this help, and until you start really taking in that you need to change and get better, I'm not letting Marie see you. This isn't how I want her to meet her grandma."

Renee slumped back onto her pillows, although she still looked angry. She turned her head away from me and looked at the wall. "Go away," she said venomously. "Forget about me seeing your kid, anyway. She's just like you. A mistake. You were a mistake, and if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be stuck in here."

To say that those words, words I had heard so many times before, didn't hurt me, would have been a lie. It didn't matter how many times Renee said them to me; it wounded me every time. I guess a part of me hoped that one day Renee would except me and be proud of me for once, but it never happened. I would always be a disappointment and a mistake to her.

I really did want Renee to get better. For Marie. I wanted Marie to know her grandmother as someone other than the person she had been to me all my life. I didn't want Marie's first memory of her to be a bad one. Renee really wasn't making a lot of progress, and until I saw some genuine results, I wouldn't let Marie get near her. Renee could snap at any moment and I didn't want Marie to be around when she did.

I didn't know how to motivate Renee to get better anymore. At this rate, she would never meet Marie.

I sighed. It was better this way.

* * *

**A/N:** **Hit or Miss?**

**Yeah, it's a tad depressing at the end, but hey, whatchya gonna do about it?**

**Once again, I'm sorry for the wait and I can't guarantee a faster update next time. I have exams and a whole bunch of summatives that need working on and studying. My exams happen around January 20-something. I know it's a while away, but after that, I PROMISE updates will be faster. Hopefully I can update this story later again this week or sometime next week.**

**Don't forget to check out the first chapter of my new story, "A Vision Stained with Red"!**

**REVIEWW!!!!!!!**

**Peace out.**


	8. Thriller

**A/N: Hey guys! First post of 2009! Thanks for the reviews last chapter and thank you also for being so patient with me. I promise that things will get better by the end of the month. **

**Right… so I don't have much to tell you guys in terms of this story, only that I am trying to get updates out to you faster. In fact, this one came out sooner than expected, so go me! Make sure you READ THE NOTE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER!!! It has a tidbit of info about updating.**

**On with Chapter EIGHT!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bloo, bloo blee… blah. **

* * *

_I really did want Renee to get better. For Marie. I wanted Marie to know her grandmother as someone other than the person she had been to me all my life. I didn't want Marie's first memory of her to be a bad one. Renee really wasn't making a lot of progress, and until I saw some genuine results, I wouldn't let Marie get near her. Renee could snap at any moment and I didn't want Marie to be around when she did. _

_I didn't know how to motivate Renee to get better anymore. At this rate, she would never meet Marie._

_I sighed. It was better this way._

**Chapter 8: Thriller**

"Are you sure you feel well enough to go?" I asked Marie for the millionth time that day. It was four thirty in the afternoon later that same Saturday. A Saturday which also happened to be Halloween night. Marie had just recovered from her case of the flu, and I, being the overreacting person I was, was worried about her going trick or treating.

"Yes!" Marie said, a little exasperated with me, I was sure. Hey, I couldn't help but be concerned. It was practically a mother's job; be worried about your kid.

"Oh, don't be such a worry wart, Bella," Alice said, putting her feet up on my coffee table in my apartment and reaching for some chips. "Halloween only comes once a year and every practically kid worships it. Let her go out and have some fun."

"I wasn't going to stop her from going out unless she still felt sick," I grumbled. Alice had driven over to my place just five minutes ago to give us our Halloween costumes and take a break from decorating her and Jasper's house for the Halloween party they were throwing later that night. Everyone had to be in costume and it was an adults only party, since drinks and crazy dancing would be present.

At first I wasn't going to go, considering I wouldn't have been able to bring Marie, but Alice whined and wheedled and used her puppy dog pout. I knew I was doomed as soon as she brought out the famous pout.

I told Alice I would go only if she was able to find a suitable babysitter for Marie. She ended up asking the mother of Marie's best friend at school; Kristen. Marie had had sleepovers at Kristen's house several times before, so I had no objections. Which meant I had no choice but to go to the stupid party.

"So whaddaya got for Marie's vampire costume, Alice?" I asked, snatching the chips out of Alice's hands. She scowled at me for a split second before jumping up off the couch and grabbing a large paper bag.

"Marie! Auntie Alice has the greatest, cutest costume for you!" she said, bouncing happily in front of Marie, who scrunched up her little face.

"Vampires aren't _cute_, Auntie, they're supposed t'be _scary_," she said. I laughed and ruffled Marie's curls. She, like me, wasn't as girly and cutesy as Alice would want her to be. She was still incredibly adorable though.

Alice widened her eyes dramatically and placed a hand on her chest in mock surprise. "Oh, I'm very sorry, Miss Scary Vampire. My mistake." Marie giggled.

"Now, lemme see my costume," Marie said, eyeing the paper bag.

"Marie," I warned, not liking her being so impolite.

"Sorry, Mommy. Can I see my costume, please?" she said sweetly, looking at Alice with the same puppy dog pout she learned from Alice herself. Alice beamed.

"Of course!" She reached into the bag and pulled out Marie's costume. "Voila! Now _this_, my lovelies, is one scary vampire costume."

I looked at it. There was a bat-like cape that was black on one side and red on the other. There was also a vampire princess-like dress that was mostly black except for a little bit of dark purple. It had cobwebs stitched on the sleeves. There were also black tights for Marie to wear under the dress. It was very cute for a five year old vampire wannabe.

Maries fawned over it while Alice smiled triumphantly. "Go put it on, Marie," I said. Marie jumped excitedly and grabbed the costume, running to her room to change. When she was gone, Alice smiled at me and started to reach for the second costume in the bag. My costume.

Blegh.

"Alice, you are aware that I won't be changing into that until _after_ I take Marie trick-or-treating, right?" I said cautiously, eyeing the bag a lot like Marie did, although this time it was out of nervousness, not eagerness.

"Yes, I know," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "But I want you to see it now, so too bad!"

She pulled out the second costume from the bag and held it up for me to examine. It was a wedding dress… a torn and slightly dirty wedding dress with a matching worn veil to match. I stared at it blankly. I know she wanted me to find a man, but…

Alice laughed at my confused expression. "You're going to be the Corpse Bride, duh! Ever heard of Tim Burton?"

Oh. _Ohhh._ The Corpse Bride. Oh, okay. I got it.

It wasn't so bad. I let out a sigh of relief. "That's creative, Alice."

"You like it?" she said, her eyes brightening. I laughed and nodded.

"I do. Not to mention, it could have been a lot worse. I was afraid you wanted me to go to the party as some sexy R-rated version of Little Red Riding Hood."

Alice let out her tinkling laugh. "Silly Bella, that's Rosalie's costume!"

"I should have known," I snickered.

Marie's door opened and she came out, almost shyly, wearing her costume. The cape was attached to the dress, so she didn't need me to tie it around her neck. She looked adorable and very vampire-like in her costume. Alice did a good job, like always, and Marie seemed satisfied with it.

I smiled down at her. "You look great, Vampire Girl," I teased. "Do you like it?" Marie nodded her head enthusiastically and Alice squealed in delight. She quickly put my costume back in the bag and rushed over to Marie, fussing and adjusting her costume in places. She sat Marie down in a chair next to the kitchen table, and took out her makeup and face paints. Marie squirmed impatiently.

"Please sit still Marie, you're just like your mom," Alice said, making me smile.

Once Alice finished doing Marie's "makeup", Marie truly looked the part of a vampire. Her face, which was already fairly pale thanks to me, was completely white and she had dark smudges under her eyes. Alice even painted a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth.

I made my eyes widen and I pretended to cower away in fear. "A real vampire! Oh no! What did you do with my daughter?"

Marie giggled and came towards me. While I backed away, still teasing her. "Stop it, Mommy," she said playfully and launched herself at me. I got her easily in my arms, laughing.

"Don't smudge her face paint!" Alice said. I smirked and put Marie back down. I looked at the clock. It was now five thirty. If I wanted Marie to have her fun and still go to bed at a decent hour, I had to take her out now.

"We're going to go out trick-or-treating now," I said to Alice. "I'll see you in a couple hours."

"I'll be waiting!"

* * *

_Ding dong._

There were footsteps behind the door, coming closer, the door swung open, revealing a middle-aged woman holding a bowl of candy. The woman beamed at the sight of Marie and reached into the bowl, dropping a few candies into Marie's opened bag. Marie thanked her.

And that's pretty much how it went the entire evening.

I won't go into the details of trick or treating since nothing really exciting happened worth mentioning.

Marie was having fun though, and that's all that mattered. She even saw a few kids from her kindergarten class. I loved seeing her interact with other kids her age.

By around seven, Marie was getting tired of walking around, and wanted to go home. So we walked back to the apartment building. When it came into sight, I decided to cut Marie some slack and carried her the rest of the short way.

"Did you have a good time trick-or-treating, Marie?" I asked, setting down her full bag of candy on top of the kitchen table.

"Yeah," she said into my shoulder. I chuckled and changed Marie out of her costume and into her pajamas. I took her to the bathroom to wash off her face paint. I then packed her clothes for tomorrow, her toothbrush, teddy bear, and any other essentials into a backpack and drove Marie over to Kristen's house. As soon as Kristen's mother, Rachel, opened the door, Marie seemed to have regained her lost energy and immediately ran inside to play with Kristen and Kristen's baby sister, Zoe.

"Thanks again, Rachel," I said, passing Kristen's mom the backpack.

"It's no problem, Bella. Have fun at your party," Rachel said, smiling warmly at me. She was a very kind-hearted person and I enjoyed chatting with her whenever I dropped off Marie at school.

I called Alice as soon as I got home. "I'm home, Alice. If you want me to show up at that party, you better get over here and doll me up." I snapped the phone shut, wishing I could just go to bed instead. I didn't really want Alice come over and help me get ready, but she would rip my head off if I showed up at the party without using her stylish expertise.

Within ten minutes, Alice appeared at my door, dragging me to the bathroom.

"Okay, we got to make you look corpsy," she said, cocking her head to one side and looking calculatingly at my face.

She started by putting some gel-like substance on her hand and started running her hands through my hair. Styling it to look wavy and slightly straggly. Then she took the locks of hair close to my ears on either side of my head and clipped them back.

Alice opened up her face paint things and got to work on my face. I waited patiently for her to finish, learning long ago that resistance was futile. As I waited, I noticed Alice had on a pixie costume. Not the Tinkerbell pixie costume, but a dark black and purple one instead. It suited her perfectly.

"Did you know Rose invited Emmett Cullen to the party?" Alice said out of the blue. I looked up at her in surprise. I thought Rose didn't want Alice to know about her relationship with Emmett yet. Inviting him to a party Alice had planned was _not_ laying low.

"Really? How did that happen?" I asked.

Alice shrugged. "She said he's been around her workplace a lot lately because of that whole suing thing. He apparently heard her talking about the party to a coworker and when he joined into the conversation, he seemed so eager that she asked him out of politeness. She said she would have felt guilty if she didn't; he looked so hopeful." Alice's voice was dripping with skeptiscm. I made 'hmm' sounds, not wanting to speak in case I spilled.

"I wonder if anything's going on between them," Alice mused. I made another 'hmm' sound.

Alice narrowed her eyes at my lack of response.

"Bella, is there something I should know about?" she said, searching my face. Told you Alice could smell secrets.

"I don't know. Is there?," I said, thanking the heavens that my voice sounded normal.

"Bellaaaaa," Alice whined.

"Aliiiiice," I mimicked.

"Come on."

"Come on, what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I do?"

"You do."

"Really?" I knew I was pushing my limits here.

"Really." Alice rolled her eyes and looked at me suspiciously. I tried to keep my face innocent, but I could tell she saw right through me. Alice was just far to perceptive and intuitive for her own good. "You better tell me, Bella," she demanded. It wasn't even a request anymore.

Still defiant, I said, "I don't have any idea of what you're talking about, Ali. Tell you what?"

Alice sighed and stared at me for a few minutes longer. She finally gave in… for the time being. "Don't think this is the end of this, Bells. I _will_ find out what you're keeping from me."

"Uh, okay. Whatever you say, Alice," I said innocently. She shot me another glare before continuing on my makeup.

By the time she was done, I looked incredibly pale and had dark smudges here and there. I put on my costume and Alice pinned the torn veil to my hair. When I looked in the mirror, I actually did look like the Corpse Bride. It was pretty cool.

"Ready to go?" Alice asked me. I nodded, and grabbed my coat. We took separate cars since I knew I'd be driving myself home after the party was over. I had no intentions of getting too drunk to drive. In fact, I had no intention of getting drunk, period. As a former teenage alcoholic, I wasn't about to become intoxicated again. The only time I ever drank was for toasts on special occasions, in which case it was champagne. I also sometimes accepted pina colodas, but never more than one or two in a single night. I was being overly cautious, I knew, but I was too afraid of going back to my over drinking days that I tried to stay away from alcohol as much as possible.

By the time we arrived at Alice and Jasper's house, the party was in full swing. I could hear the loud music of "Thriller" by Michael Jackson playing inside and could see dancing shadows through the windows. Climbing out of my car, I followed Alice inside, looking around the many dressed up bodies for another familiar face.

Jasper came over and kissed Alice's cheek. He was dressed like a soldier from the civil war. Typical Jasper. I knew he would have chosen something from one of his greatest interests. He was a major history buff.

"Hey Jazz," I said. He smiled at me.

"Hey, Bella. You make a great undead bride."

I grimaced. "Have you seen Rose?"

He shrugged. "She arrived half an hour ago. She's around here somewhere." Deciding to search for her, I sifted my way through the many people. But before I could find Rose, I heard someone else call my name.

"Bella!"

I turned around to see Jessica Stanley hurrying towards me. I never understood why Alice invited Jessica and even Lauren to these parties, but Alice always just said 'The more the merrier'.

I noticed Jessica was having a harder time getting through the people than I did. My eyes widened as I realized why. Her entire upper body was in a _cardboard box._ A pink cardboard box. Even her arms were stuck in there. I hadn't noticed it before since the front side of the box was clear plastic instead of cardboard. She had a blonde wig on and was dressed in a pink t-shirt and jean shorts.

"Hey Jess… what the hell are you?" I said, getting right to the point. No need to beat around the bush.

Jessica laughed and said in a 'duh' tone, "I'm a Barbie in a box, Bella! Isn't that creative?" She spun around excitedly and accidently knocked the corner of the box against the wall.

_Sure, it's creative… and stupid, _I thought. "Is Lauren here?" I asked, looking around. I needed to know so I could avoid her. I didn't feel like being on the receiving end of her glares tonight. I got enough of them at work. Jessica shrugged.

"Oh, she's here. I don't know where though. Probably flirting with some guy."

Jessica scanned the room and turned back to me, shaking her head. "I don't see her." I nodded and waited for her to start one of her never ending stories and I wasn't disappointed. Jessica immediately started babbling about something to do with herself, her cousin, and some surfer dude I couldn't remember the name of. I tuned out, getting thirsty. I knew if I went to get a drink, she would follow me.

After a very, very long time, I made some lame excuse about needing to use the washroom and slipped away, in search of refreshments and food.

I spotted Rose across the room. She was dressed in her Little Red Riding Hood outfit, the more 'adult' version of course, and was talking to some big guy who was dressed as the Hunchback of Notre Dame. He had some sort of pillow, I was guessing, stuffed under the back of his shirt and was hunched over. I took a few steps towards them, but stopped when I recognized the guy as Emmett Cullen. I knew she wouldn't have wanted me to interrupt.

I ventured over to a table with drinks on it. It had big bottles of Coca Cola and ice tea. There was another table a little farther away that held beer and other drinks. I reached for a cup to pour some coke in when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around to see a guy who looked about my age smiling down at me. He was pretty tall and was dressed as a cowboy. His eyes looked me up and down, making me self-conscious, his gaze lingering for a little too long on my chest. Disgusted, I resisted the urge to cross my arms over my chest to cover myself.

"Hey," he said. "Did you fart?"

My eyes widened. What the hell?! I did _not_ fart! "Excuse me?" I said blinking incredulously.

"'Cause baby, you blew me away." He smirked. Realization came over me and I frowned.

Okay. Worst pick up line.

Ever.

"Uh… okay," I said, and turned around to pour myself my coke, giving a clear cut signal that I was not interested. The guy didn't seem to take the not-so-subtle hint. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I cringed and tried to get out of his grip, but he was strong.

"How about you and I get out of here?" he whispered to me. I could smell the heavy alcohol in his breath and turned my face away, grossed out. Who was this creep?

"No thanks," I said politely as I could and finally managed to squirm out from under his arm.

"Aw, babe, you don't mean that," he slurred and made to touch me again when all of a sudden, another strong arm encircled my waist, tucking me into the hard, firm side of another man. I know I should have felt repulsed or annoyed that another guy was holding me, but I felt weirdly safe instead. I was about to open my mouth to protest when the man spoke to the creep.

"Sorry to interrupt, but my girlfriend and I are busy right now," the smooth velvet said. I visibly stiffened, realizing just who I was pressed up against, but then remembered that he was my "boyfriend", and tried to relax.

The cowboy creep looked surprised for a few moments before glaring at Edward and then walking away. As soon as he was gone, I looked up at Edward and gave him a polite smile. "Thank you for saving me, Mr. Cullen," I said sincerely. I really was grateful. Edward may have infuriated me at times, but I would have much rather been with him than that pervert with the awful pick up lines.

"It was no trouble, Bella," Edward responded. I expected him to remove his arm from my waist, but it didn't. There was some kind of low fire in his eyes, but it was deep and almost hidden. I looked pointedly down at his arm and he quickly removed it once he noticed what I was looking at. My side felt cold and empty once he stepped a little away from me.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," I said. "What are you doing here?" _Alice didn't tell me he would be coming_.

Edward smiled at me. "Emmett made me come. He got invited by your friend, Rosalie."

"Oh…" I said lamely, and tore my eyes away from his face to look at his costume. He was dressed in old looking clothes, the kind that looked like it belonged to an English gentleman. They were rumpled and had a couple splotches of red stuff, which was probably fake blood. He looked paler than usual with dark circles under his eyes. I noticed something he was holding in the hand farther from me.

"What's that?" I asked, nodding at the half hidden object.

"Oh, this? It's a wig," he said lightly, holding it up to show me. It was a very messy black haired wig with a single white stripe going through it.

"Who are you supposed to be?" I asked curiously. Edward chuckled.

"Sweeney Todd," he answered. "I'm not wearing the wig though because it kept bothering me. Too uncomfortable."

I walked over and sat down on a surprisingly free couch. Edward followed and sat down beside me. It was silent between us for a few minutes. Awkward to the extreme.

"So… How are you doing?" he asked, obviously just trying to break the silence.

"You just saw me yesterday at work, Edward," I answered. He stiffened and I wondered if I had gone too far with my rather rude behaviour towards him. I looked at him to see he was looking back at me with wide, surprised eyes. I raised my eyebrows at him. What did I say?

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

Edward shook his head and looked as if he just came out of a daze. "It's just… that was the first time you've ever called me by my first name."

I did? I replayed what I said to him in my mind and realized that I _had _called him by his first name instead of the usual 'Mr. Cullen'. I blushed red and looked away, embarrassed.

"Sorry," I said.

"Don't be."

I peeked back to him and he was smiling at me warmly. His eyes sparkled as he said, "I've asked you to call me Edward before and you never did. I like it."

I blushed deeper and he laughed. He checked his watch and I heard him curse softly under his breath. I looked back up at him to see him frowning, his eyebrows furrowed. I felt the sudden urge to reach over and smooth the crease out with my fingers, but sat on my hands to stop myself. I didn't know where these ridiculous urges were coming from.

"Sorry Bella, but I'm afraid I need to leave. It's very late and I was here longer than I expected to be," he said apologetically.

"It's fine, Edward," I said. Oops. Slipped out again. Edward noticed, for his eyes brightened.

"Are you going to be going anywhere tomorrow, Bella?" he asked. I was a little surprised at the unexpected question and curious as why he wanted to know, but I bit back my tongue from saying so. Instead I decided to give him an honest answer. Tomorrow was Sunday, so I was most likely spending time with Marie. I bit my lip, trying to remember exactly what I planned.

Ah, right. I was going to take Marie to the park. She loved going to the park to feed the ducks, run around, or fly kites.

I shrugged at Edward. "I'll just be taking my daughter to the park for a little while. Why? Do you need me to do extra work?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I suppose you'll be going to the park around the late morning?"

I nodded a bit suspiciously and Edward smiled, humor in his eyes. They then softened and he said, "Bella, I meant what I said about becoming friends. I want to leave all this animosity behind us." He ran a hand through his tousled hair and sighed. "Well, I'll see you… later. Good night, Bella."

And then he walked away, leaving me utterly confused.

* * *

**A/N: Hey, I hope you're happy with it. Sorry if you're not. I tried to get it out to you guys as quickly as I could.**

**I didn't make Edward dress up as a vampire since 1) Marie was already one. 2) It's too predictable.**

**_IN REGARDS TO UPDATES_: The next update for this story won't be for another 2-2 and a half weeks. I'm sorry, but I have several projects due next week that are worth 10% and a practical exam also worth 10% on the 16****th****. And **_**then**_** I have my actual written exams from the 21-23 of January, one exam on each day. Although I hate it to say it, I need these grades a lot more than fanfiction, so I won't be posting another chapter until I am done with my exams. Good news though; the week AFTER the 23****rd****, I have completely off, so I will be able to catch up with my writing then. Sorry again.**

**Anyway, REVIEW!!!**

**Peace out. **


	9. I Caught Myself

**A/N: Yes, I have returned. Sorry for the wait. Exams were hell. Enough said.**

**I've been getting a good amount of reviews lately but, forgive me for sounding selfish, it would mean a lot to me if you gave me more. My other story has less than half the amount of chapters this one does and it has more reviews. If the review count for this story doesn't go up more, then I'm probably going to update my other story faster, since it has more readers. How am I supposed to know if you like or want more of this story if you don't review? I'm not a mind reader. So please, it only takes 5 seconds to send in a quick review. It would mean a lot to me.**

**On with Chapter NINE!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

_He shook his head. "Not really. I suppose you'll be going to the park around the late morning?"_

_I nodded a bit suspiciously and Edward smiled, humor in his eyes. They then softened and he said, "Bella, I meant what I said about becoming friends. I want to leave all this animosity behind us." He ran a hand through his tousled hair and sighed. "Well, I'll see you… later. Good night, Bella."_

_And then he walked away, leaving me utterly confused._

**Chapter 9: I Caught Myself**

An hour later I was still at the party in a costume that was seriously getting more and more uncomfortable with every passing minute. My friends were preoccupied with their men, I wasn't interested in any of the other men here, I really didn't want to dance, and the music was starting to give me a headache. I was never a big party girl, so I wasn't really enjoying myself at all.

I really just wanted to go home and watch movies, wear yoga pants, and eat ice cream.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I sat on the couch, grumbling. I tried to sneak out earlier, but Alice caught me and made me stay.

Why did I agree to go to this thing anyway?

Oh right. Alice. She was the answer to my every torment.

It was one in the morning and the party was still full swing. I knew that a lot of these people will be pulling all-nighters, but jeez, didn't they ever need to sleep?! I hadn't been doing much more than sit on the couch all evening and I was ready to hit the sack. I probably would have if the damn music wasn't so damn loud.

"Bella!"

I jumped almost a foot in the air when a deep voice practically shouted my name in my ear. I grabbed my chest where my heart was, feeling its frantic beating. The deep voice was now booming in laughter behind me. My God, this really was not my night.

I turned around to glare at the idiot when I came face to face with Emmett Cullen. Oh… definitely was not expecting him. Standing next to him was Rosalie, who was smirking at me. Something told me it was her idea to take ten years off my life.

"What was the surprising the hell out of me for? Other than giving me a heart attack," I said as I narrowed me eyes at her.

She shrugged innocently. "It's fun."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Where's my little brother, Bella?" Emmett asked me, looking around for any sign of Edward.

"He left an hour ago. You didn't know?" I said. You'd think the guy had the decency to tell his brother, the only person he knew at the party other than me, that he was leaving.

"Nope." Emmett didn't look offended. Maybe this was a regular occurrence. "Edward's not a party guy; he does this a lot."

"Then why did he even come if he doesn't like parties?" I asked, cringing at how rude my words sounded.

I didn't really like big parties either, but I went because Alice was a vicious little pixie who was a lot stronger than you'd think for someone so small. Emmett didn't look unsettled by Edward's departure, so I doubted he forced him to come.

"He didn't want to at first, but then he heard you would be here, and he changed his mind," Emmett said, smirking and winking at me.

Huh-uh, wha? I blushed bright red and was sure Emmett was lying. I was nothing to Edward except a target for his amazing ability to annoy. Unless he was actually serious about his 'becoming friends' project with me, he really had no reason for coming. Actually, he must have come knowing I would be here so he could annoy me some more.

But Edward didn't really annoy me for the short time he was here. Strange.

"Hello? Bella?" Emmett said, waving his hand in front of my face, looking amused. I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled sheepishly at him. Emmett seemed like a fun-loving guy, and he was certainly easier to get along with than his brother. I wondered how someone as friendly as Emmett could possibly be related to someone as irritating as Edward.

"Sorry," I said. "I was thinking."

"Care to share?" Rose asked, sitting beside me on the couch.

"Nothing you'd want to know," I lied. Rose would always want to know anything concerning Edward Cullen. "Although, I think _you_ have something to explain to me. What the hell were you thinking taking Emmett Cullen to Alice's party? She's suspicious now, you know. She was questioning me earlier when she was helping me get ready," I said accusingly. I hated lying to Alice not only because she was one of my best friends, but because she was so damn intuitive. She always knew when something was up.

"You didn't tell her anything did you?" Rosalie said worriedly.

I shook my head. "But you know how bad I am at lying, Rose. She doesn't let things go when she thinks she's on to something. There's only so much I can take before I crack."

"Sorry, it was an impulsive move. Emmett wanted to go and I just invited him without really thinking."

"Are you guys going to start dating or what?" I said, irritated.

Rosalie looked surprised. "What?"

I opened my mouth to say more, but was cut off by Emmett. Huh. I almost forgot he was standing there the whole time, probably listening.

"Now, _there's_ a good idea," he said grinning. He made absolutely no attempt to hide his attraction for Rose or his willingness to become a couple. I had to smile at that. He was a straightforward guy; he knew what he wanted. Unlike his brother.

Rosalie blushed; she _blushed_, and said nothing. Where had the rough and tough opinionated Rosalie gone? Rose always knew what she wanted and never hesitated to get it. This applied to men just as much as it did to material things. Emmett must have really been something else in order to get her flustered like this.

"I don't want to pressure you, Rose," I said, "but I can't keep a secret well and you know it." I leaned in closer so Emmett wouldn't hear me. "I won't tell Alice on purpose, but this secret thing isn't going well."

"I know. I'm sorry," she said quietly, glancing back at Emmett. "I can't… it's just – ugh! He's different. I don't want to rush into things."

"Can't you just tell Alice that?"

"You know her just as well as I do. She's gets over obsessive about stuff like this. She'll have my wedding planned within and hour."

"I understand, and I'll try not to tell her, but you know not telling Alice things will only come back to bite you in the ass."

I knew she must have really liked Emmett from the way she was taking it so seriously.

"I can handle Alice. But…" she trailed off, looking indecisive.

"What?"

"There's another reason I'm not officially dating Emmett yet."

"What is it?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed. "You said you liked him."

"I do… I'll tell you later." Her eyes darted to Emmett, then back to me, like a warning that he might overhear.

I looked over to Emmett to see him pouting slightly at being left out. A laugh bubbled at my lips at his pathetic expression. He noticed and he grinned proudly. He then waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"So what did my brother say to you, Bella?" he asked

"Nothing important. He left rather abruptly actually," I said, my face turning into a frown.

Rose giggled. "He likes you."

My head whipped around to look at her, my mouth opened in surprise at her bluntness. Edward Cullen liking _me_? Ah hahahaha… no. He wasn't interested in me just as I was not interested in him. Sure, he was utterly gorgeous like a god, had the smoothest voice I'd ever heard, the most captivating eyes I'd ever seen, and a smile that would dazzle me, but that didn't mean anything. Pssh, nooo.

"You're delusional, Rose," I responded, blushing pink.

"No I'm not. _You're_ just in denial."

"Am not!"

"See? Right there. Your defensiveness just validates my claim."

"What are you? A lawyer?"

"Actually, yes."

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest angrily and Emmett snickered.

So not my night.

* * *

"_So here with us today we have Robert Pattinson who plays vampire, Edward Cullen, in the upcoming movie, 'Twilight'. Hey Rob."_

"_Hey Ryan."_

"_So tell me about how you feel about-"_

My hand slammed down on my alarm clock, switching it off. I still had remnants of the head ache from last night, so I switched my alarm from beeping to the radio playing. The radio guy was in the middle of interviewing that Robert guy from that new movie 'Twilight' or something like that. I'd never read the books they were based on and I'd never really wanted to. I preferred Jane Austen.

I yawned as stretched as I sat up in bed. I really didn't want to leave the safe warm confines of my comforter, but I had to go pick up Marie from her sleepover at Kristen's house. Bracing myself for the cool morning air, I got out of bed and padded in my slippers for the bathroom.

I showered, dressed in casual jeans and a V-neck shirt before quickly eating a piece of toast. I was supposed to pick up Marie around nine and right now it was eight forty five. Grabbing my keys I left to go pick her up.

"Mommy!" Marie said as I showed up at Kristen's house. She jumped into my arms and I laughed, kissing her little nose.

"Did you have fun with Kristen?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah. And Kristen's mommy made cookies with us."

"Lucky you!" I turned to Kristen's mother, Rachel. "Thanks so much. Was she good?"

Rachel smiled. "Marie was great, as always. And it was no problem. Krissy loves having Marie sleep over."

I took Marie's bag from Rachel and waved goodbye. On the car ride back home, Marie told me all about her time at Kristen's. After they helped Rachel make cookies, they played 'Animal Doctor' using all of Kristen's stuffed animals.

"How was Auntie Alice's party, Mommy?" she asked me as I pulled into our apartment complex.

_Loud and irritating. _"It was fun. It was nice of you to ask, honey."

"Can I come to the next party?" She asked this every time Alice held an adult party.

"Only if Auntie Alice says kids are allowed to come," I answered. I felt a little guilty always having to refuse her; Alice only held kid-friendly parties for Marie's birthdays and that was a given Marie would come. I knew Marie felt left out, but there was no way in hell I was taking her to Alice's other parties. _I _didn't even want to go to them.

"How come kids aren't allowed to come to lots of her parties?" Marie asked.

"Because kids wouldn't like it. It would be very boring for you, Marie. Just grown-up stuff." _Like getting drunk and practically humping other people on the dance floor._

Inside our apartment, I unpacked Marie's bag and gave her a snack since she told me she woke up and had breakfast pretty early. I let her eat her cut up apple slices in front of the TV as she watched _Toopy and Binoo. _I absentmindedly played with Marie's curls as she watched and ate.

"Are we doing anything today, Mommy?" she asked me, her eyes never leaving the TV screen.

Were we? I scanned my thoughts for any plans today and remembered I was going to take her to the park today. It was a nice day out for the first of November and of course, with the wind, it was perfect kite flying weather. Marie loved flying kites even though she wasn't that good at it. What do you expect from a five year old?

"How do you feel about going to park and flying a kite with me?" I said.

Marie's face brightened at that and I felt a little happier. I loved making her happy.

"I take it you like the idea?" I asked, smiling.

She nodded and then held up her empty bowl to me. "I'm done, Mommy."

"Go put you bowl by the sink while I go find the kite."

She got up and took her bowl to the kitchen while I went to the small hall closet and went digging for the brightly coloured kite I kept in there. I found it under a pile of bed sheets. It was folded neatly with its spool of string tucked in beside it in its plastic case/bag thing.

I waved the kite in front of Marie's face as she exited the kitchen and she grinned, reaching for it. I pulled it away from her fingers and put on a stern look.

"When was the last time you went to the potty?" I asked.

"Um, when I woke up."

"Okay, then quickly go now before we leave so you don't need to go while we're at the park."

Marie nodded and scurried off towards the bathroom. I put on my shoes and threw my hair up into a ponytail, a few brown strands of hair framed my face. I heard the toilet flush and the water of the sink running on then off before Marie came out of the bathroom and put on her shoes.

"Ready to go?" I asked as she finished putting on her shoes.

"Yup," she said. I held out my hand for her and she took it. I locked the door and we set off. There was no need for a car since the park was a short walking distance away.

It seemed like many others had the same idea of enjoying the good weather today as the park wasn't necessarily crowded, but it definitely wasn't lacking in people. I found a spot that was far from the trees and not too close to other kite flyers as I unfolded the kite.

"Can we get some ice cream after this?" Marie asked me.

"Ice cream in November?" I asked amusedly, quirking up an eyebrow teasingly.

"Please?" She jutted out her bottom lip slightly and it quivered.

Alice had taught her well… not that I was going to say no in the first place. "Sure, sweetie. At your favourite ice cream parlor?"

"Yeah."

Marie loved the ice cream parlor about a couple blocks from the park. She wouldn't admit it, but I knew it was because the son of the owner, a young man named Seth, was such a charmer and she had a little girl crush on him. He worked there almost everyday and she had the tendency to blush, just like me, when she was around him. He was only a couple years younger than me. I thought it was cute.

After a couple of tries, I finally got the kite in the air and flying steadily.

"Can I hold it now, Mommy?" Marie asked.

"Okay… hold it tightly… steady, hon," I said as she took reign of the kite. I had to remind her to grip tightly or the kite would fly away. She very cutely bit her bottom lip in concentration, a lot like I did when I was nervous or focusing on something.

Marie started taking a few steps back making the kite trail and swirl in the wind. I followed suit, taking a few steps back, but of course being me, I tripped over thin air and tumbled backwards. Well, at least it would be less painful falling on my ass than falling on my face.

Instead of falling on the ground, my back hit something hard and firm and two hands, definitely man hands, grabbed onto my upper arms from behind me to steady me. I blushed when I realized I tumbled and fell against some guy's chest. Whoops…

I quickly stood up right again and turned around to apologize to the man.

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry. I trip a lot and-" I stopped short when I looked into the incredibly amused green eyes of Edward Cullen.

"Edward Cullen?" I squeaked, too surprised to speak normally. Great. Not only do I trip into him, but I have to make myself seem like more of a moron by being unable to speak like a normal person.

I glanced over to Marie to see if she was still beside me. She was still there, holding the strings of the kite as it still flew in the air, but she was looking at me and Edward very curiously. I hastily took a step back as Edward chuckled musically. Being so close to his body was not good for me. He smelled good. Really good. It was some kind of sweet honey-ish scent I wasn't familiar with. I wondered if he used cologne.

I felt myself start to lean over to try and breathe in more of his intoxicating scent before I quickly caught myself. What the hell? My God, that would have been so humiliating if I actually did lean forward and smelled him. Talk about seeming creepish.

Why was I even thinking this in the first place? It was so odd. I felt an invisible pull towards him. It made me so confused. I wanted to take a step closer to Edward, but at the same time, I really _didn't_ want to. That didn't even make sense. I shook my head slightly, trying to rid my mind of things I should have never thought in the first place.

"What are doing here?" I said, almost hissed, at him.

He only looked even more amused at my annoyance and replied smoothly, "It's nice to see you too, Bella."

I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed at me. I felt myself swoon a little at the sound of his laugh, so free and unstrained and genuine, that I had to catch myself again before I made some embarrassing comment about it.

"Bella, can't I take a stroll through the park on this fine day?" he said.

"You know we're not supposed to be meeting outside of work like this," I said.

"Yes, but there's nothing saying we can't accidently bump into each other, right?"

He had me there.

* * *

**A/N: You know what to do. Review :)**

**I know it's a bit shorter than usual, and I'm sorry for that, but I felt that since you guys have been so patient with me, I wanted to update faster so you wouldn't have to wait any longer. If I made the chapter longer, it would have taken longer to get out, which I didn't want. Besides, I haven't updated in over 2 weeks. I need to get back into the writing funk, lol. You should consider yourself lucky since my chapters tend to be longer than most other story's chapters, so this slightly shorter chapter should satisfy you. I will try my best to update my other story within the next day or two.**

**I started writing my upcoming story, "For the Nights I Can't Remember". If you've visited my profile you would have seen it under my "Upcomign Stories" section. I don't know when I will start posting it since I'm not sure I can handle three stories. I will wait until the new semester starts at school and see how bad my workload is. If it's not too bad, then I will consider it. Anyway, here's an itty bitty summary of it (you know, the summary that is right under the title when you post it):**

**_Heliophobia. Fear of the sun. Edward Masen is heliophobic. "She tried to help him heal, but there's only so much one person can do. It's amazing just how much that is." ExB All Human. _**

**REVIEW! **

**Peace out.**


	10. Slipping Through my Fingers

**A/N: I just got back from feedback day at school. We go in for a couple of hours to see our marks on my exam. I'll admit my weak spot has always been math. I always manage to get in the high 70s - 80s in it, but I'm a perfectionist/overachiever. I don't like it when I have something in the 70s. It makes me frustrated :( My best subject is, you guessed it, English! **

**Enough of my rambling. By the way, the song I named this chapter after is "Slipping Through my Fingers" by ABBA. Call me an Oldies fan since this group had ended in the '80s, (and I was born in the early '90s) but I LOVE ABBA! They're songs are so catchy and besides, I was raised on older music groups like ABBA, the Beatles, etc. Heh, heh. I just rambled more :P **

**On with Chapter TEN!!!**

**Disclaimer: Is this really necessary anymore?**

* * *

"_Bella, can't I take a stroll through the park on this fine day," he said._

"_You know we're not supposed to be meeting outside of work like this," I said._

"_Yes, but there's nothing saying we can't accidently bump into each other, no?"_

_He had me there._

**Chapter 10: Slipping Through my Fingers**

Stupid boss has to go ruining my mood and day. I mean, come on! God, give me a break! I went to the park to spend the day with my daughter and _he_, the spawn of the devil, shows up while taking a, and I quote, '_stroll through the park on this fine day'._

Okay, I may have been exaggerating a tiny bit (or I may not have), but the point was, Edward was crashing my day at the park and I wasn't happy with it. With the look on his face, he didn't have any intention of taking his 'stroll' someplace else. I knew I was far too old for being so immature, but I actually felt like stamping my foot. Up until now, I only thought people did that on TV.

"Mommy?"

I turned around at the sound of Marie's voice and saw her big brown eyes, which seemed to look so much better on her than they did on me, staring up at me in question.

I almost felt like kicking myself. I shouldn't be so selfish as to let Edward Cullen ruin my day with my daughter. Marie wouldn't want to spend time with me if I was in a sour mood. I was above this… at least, I would try to be.

I smiled at Marie, it was effortless, and motioned her to come closer. "Careful, keep hold of the kite," I said looking up at the kite flying in the air. I looked back down at Marie and said, "Marie, you remember Edward? He's my boss at work."

Recognition sparked in Marie's eyes as she looked at Edward and she smiled at him shyly. "I remember you. You were at Mommy's coffee shop," she said to him.

Edward chuckled lightly and kneeled down to Marie's level. "That I was. So what are doing here at the park with your mother?"

"We're flying a kite," Marie replied in a 'duh' tone. I was about to chastise her for being rude when Edward laughed again, obviously taking amusement in my daughter. I felt like smacking the back of his head for encouraging her.

"Sorry, my mistake," Edward said playfully. Compared to him, I sounded like some strict prick-like mother while he was all carefree and playful. I wouldn't be surprised if my own kid would rather spend time with the all perfect Edward than me.

"You want to make the kite swoop and swirl around in the air?" he asked her. Marie eagerly nodded and Edward looked to me to see if I was okay with it. That was nice of him instead of just going off with my child. I nodded; I knew Edward enough that he wouldn't snatch my kid or anything like that. Nevertheless, I still kept an eye on them.

Edward took the strings from Marie and simply maneuvered them making the kite do little dips and swoops in the air. It was simplistic to do, but it entertained Marie and made her giggle. Edward smiled and gave her the strings back, guiding her hands so she could do the same thing with the kite.

I stood some feet away just watching them. I cocked my head a little to the side as I looked at Marie and Edward interacting.

It was a little strange to see, I'll admit. Other than Rose's uncle, John, and Jasper, Marie didn't really have much male adult interaction in her life. Even so, neither Jasper nor John was like a father to her. Yes, they loved her and loved spending time with her, but at the time she was born, Jasper was still going to school and John was already trying to provide for his wife, son, niece, and helping me get back on my feet. Neither had time to be a dad to Marie, not that I really needed them to. Jasper was always more of an uncle or sometimes when he was feeling playful, he was like a big brother. John was more of a grandpa if anything. He sometimes read to Marie or played with her.

So Marie had the rolls of grandfather, big brother, and uncle all filled, yet she was missing the most important one of all: dad.

Surprisingly, she never questioned me about her father, at least not yet. Even when she saw other little kids with their dads, she never asked me about hers. I was grateful for this because I always felt a little pang in my heart whenever I thought back to Phoenix before Marie came along. I didn't like going back to those days; it hurt too much. Especially when I thought about Marie's biological father, Jacob.

Every now and then I saw bits and pieces of Jacob in her. Unfortunately, he passed on more than just his black hair colour to her. I wouldn't change Marie for the world and I knew she was bound to have some of Jacob's personality in her, so it wasn't totally unexpected, but it did bring back memories. Most were good memories, like the wild joking, fun-loving side that was in Marie that reminded me of the reason I fell for Jake in the first place. Other times, it was not so great memories, like his temper. Marie had a little fiery temper that I knew didn't come completely from me. It didn't come out that often for she was usually a good kid, but it did remind me of Jake's anger.

She never asked about Jake, but Marie did occasionally inquire about Renee. I simply told her early on that yes, she did have a grandmother but that she was sick and was staying in the hospital for a while. When Marie asked if she could visit Renee in the hospital, I said that Renee was too sick to see too many people right now. I guess in a way it was true; Renee wasn't in the best of conditions to be having large numbers of visitors. Not that it mattered since I was her only visitor, anyway.

Marie tripped over something, probably a rock, and fell down on her bottom. She must have hurt herself a bit when she fell because I saw her bottom lip quiver in the cutest way possible. I took a step forward to see if she was alright when Edward kneeled next to her, took her hand and pulled her up to her feet. He then said something to her that made her lip go back to normal and laugh. I stopped and smiled. I hated to admit it, but Edward Cullen was definitely good with kids. Well, he was good with _my_ kid.

I started to think back to what Alice said about needing a relationship. I didn't think I needed one, a husband I mean, but did Marie need a dad? So far she had been fine without one, but she seemed to like the attention of another guy. Maybe she needed that knight in shining armor that a dad would provide for a little girl.

But that didn't mean I would go man-hunting just so I could find a suitable father for my daughter.

"What are you thinking about?" a velvet voice said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I blinked a couple of times before focusing on Edward who was standing in front of me, looking a mix of curious and amused, probably by my dazed spaced out look.

"Um, where's Marie?" I asked him when I noticed I didn't see a little curly haired girl next to his side. The end of my question was raised with hidden panic. Edward just took a step aside so he was beside me and I saw Marie some feet away, still playing with the kite. Oh good, he didn't lose her.

I breathed out a small sigh of relief and watched her run around with the kite flying up high.

"You didn't answer my question," Edward said beside me. "What were you thinking about? You looked pretty deep in thought."

I shrugged. I continued to watch Marie as she ran around. Her curls were flying just like the kite behind her I wondered what exactly was going on in her five year old mind. Probably nothing overly complicated or confusing. How nice it would be to be a little kid; to just escape into-

"Bella?"

I jerked out of my dream like state and turned to Edward, my eyebrows raised. What did he want?

"What?" I said, a little sharper than I intended. Oh well, he was a big boy; he could handle it.

He smiled at me. What was with his good mood today? Was he on some kind of high? "I was just saying how Marie is really a great child. She's smart for her age too. She's five, right?"

I smiled fondly at Marie and nodded. She really was a great kid. She was well behaved, for the most part, and smart, not to mention she was very pretty. Surprising since a lot of people said she looked so much like me, and I was no Rosalie.

"If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when you had here?" Edward asked.

I stiffened a little bit. The question didn't make me _too_ uncomfortable. In fact, it sometimes made me proud that I had Marie at such a young age and still managed to not only keep her, but to provide for her as well. I was just curious as to why he wanted to know.

"Just wanting to know my co-worker a little better," Edward said, smiling again. Was it just me or did he seem a little charming today? Whoa, weird.

"I'm not really your equal in the office," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Of course you are. Without you and the work you do, I would be lost," he chuckled. True, I would give him that.

"I was eighteen when she was born," I said quietly, not meeting his eyes. I didn't want to see the judgment or ridicule in them, even though my age shouldn't have been a surprise. When you're in your early twenties and had a five year old child, teen pregnancy was a given.

Edward didn't make any comment. After a minute of silence, I peeked up at him to see him looking back at me deep in thought. I waved my hand in front of his face and he blinked, his eyes focusing back on me. I smirked at him. "What were _you_ just thinking about?" I asked.

He shrugged, mimicking me from earlier, and said, "I was just thinking that you had your daughter when you were still a teenager and you two seem to be holding up fine right now. That's takes hard work."

"Damn straight," I said smirking again.

Wait, was this me and Edward Cullen talking and not trying to rip each other's throats out? Well, actually, I'm pretty sure it was always just _me_ who wanted to rip out _his_ throat out, but same thing. This Edward wasn't like the Edward Cullen I hated working with. The one who would get me running errand upon errand, some of which were completely unnecessary. This guy wasn't the boss who would drive me up the walls with his pigheadedness.

Nope. Instead this guy was friendly, good with kids, and just plain _nice_. Something must have been wrong with Edward. Was he feeling sick?

"Are you feeling okay, Edward?" I asked jokingly.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Why would you say that?"

I smiled teasingly. "I'm just not used to you being so nice to me."

Edward grimaced and I fought off the urge to giggle. Giggle? Really, Bella, Suppress the girlishness a little better, will ya?

"I must have given you the worst impression of me, haven't I?" Edward asked, running a hand through his hair. I shrugged like I had done several times today already.

"I won't lie to you, since I'm sure dishonesty is bad for a 'healthy work environment'. You didn't give such a great first impression. Or second, or third for that matter."

Edward frowned further and I felt like laughing again at his expression. He noticed I was trying not to laugh and his eyes narrowed even more. I turned away from his face and looked at Marie again as she played. I peeked back at Edward's face before looking back to Marie.

"But," I relented. "You're doing a _bit_ better now." I smiled at him. It was true. When Edward wasn't being such an arrogant jerk, we actually got along alright. Edward rolled his eyes, but smiled back. I really liked his smile. It created slight butterflies in my stomach.

After chatting a little more with Edward and playing with Marie for about half and hour longer, Marie got tired of the kite and I knew she now wanted to go get ice cream at the parlor, and though she would never say, see Seth. I knew that Seth had a girlfriend called Jessica. No, not Jessica Stanley. Jessica Stanley wouldn't have been caught dead dating the son of a guy who owns a small ice cream parlor. No, this Jessica was much nicer and she often worked along side Seth. Marie was in denial that they were together.

I packed up the kite and took Marie's hand. "I'll see you at work, I guess, Edward," I said giving him a small wave. I turned away and started walking when I heard Edward say, "Wait, Bella!"

I turned back. "What?"

"Where did you say you were going again?" he asked.

I raised my eyebrows in question. "We're going to the little ice cream parlor down the street. Why?"

Edward smiled, he was smiling a lot today, and said, "Do you mind if I tag along?"

My eyes widened in surprise. That was unexpected. "Um, are we even allowed to be hanging out like this? With you being my boss and all…"

Edward smirked and said, "I already told you, Bella. We never arranged for us to meet today. It was by pure coincidence that I bumped into you today, both at the park _and_ at this little ice cream parlor."

I narrowed my eyes at him. When I bumped into him at the park (literally), his point of 'accidently meeting' was valid, but this time it wasn't. He was essentially saying that we lie if anyone saw us. It was unlikely anyone would, but I still didn't like it. I felt Marie tug on my sleeve and I looked down at her.

"Can Edward come, Mommy?" she asked sweetly. "I had fun with him today. He's nice. Can he come?"

Edward grinned. "Marie wants me to come."

I sighed, feeling my resolve dissolving. Marie really seemed like she wanted Edward to come and it _was_ highly unlikely that anyone from work would see us. Well, if it was just this once…

I nodded. "Sure, I guess." I turned back to the direction I was headed and continued to walk hand in hand with Marie, not waiting for Edward to catch up, not that it would have been a problem for him. I felt him lightly touch my shoulder as he said, "Bella, are you sure you're okay with this?" He must have sensed my less-than-happy mood. Hey, I couldn't help it if I was a paranoid rule-follower!

"Marie wants you to come," I said, and left it at that. I wouldn't be sour for Marie's day out.

We entered the ice cream parlor, the little cliché bell tinkling as we opened the door. It was a very cute little parlor and the ice cream was good. I enjoyed coming here even before Marie was born. It was great for satisfying my ice cream cravings during the day. It made me sad when Rose's aunt, Heather, insisted I stay off my feet later in my pregnancy, taking away my walks to this parlor.

"Bella! Marie!" Seth said as he came out from an 'Employees only' door and took his place behind the counter.

Seth was a good friend and a really fun guy. He sort of reminded me of Jacob a bit. He was fun-loving and a little wild like him and he was even Native American like Jake, but the similarities ended there. Unlike Jake, Seth was easy-going and got along with pretty much anyone. He was twenty years old and was training to take over the parlor after his father.

"Hi Seth," I greeted him. Marie blushed pink when she saw Seth and smiled shyly at him. Her little crush on him was absolutely adorable. I lifted up Marie so she could get a better look at the ice cream flavours. "Is Jess working today?" I asked.

"Yup. Hey Jess," he called. Jessica, not Stanley, came out the same door as Seth had and smiled at me and Marie.

"Hi Bella," she said. I smiled back at her.

"Who's this?" Seth asked, looking at Edward, who was standing behind me, quietly watching all of us. Oh jeez, I almost forgot he was even with me. Smooth.

"Sorry, I'm so rude," I said. "Seth, Jess, this is my…" Should I say 'boss'? No, that would be weird. "… friend, Edward. Edward, this is my friend Seth. He's the son of the owner of this place. This is Jessica, his girlfriend."

Edward and Seth shook hands like buff men do and I ordered a kiddy scoop of strawberry ice cream for Marie and a normal scoop of chocolate chip ice cream for myself. "Do you want anything, Edward?" I asked.

Edward ordered a scoop of vanilla. Classic. I pulled out my wallet to pay for the ice cream when Edward stopped me with his hand, putting it over mine. He then pulled out his own wallet and gave the correct amount of money to Jess as Seth scooped the ice cream.

"Edward," I hissed. "That was completely unnecessary. I do have money, you know."

"I know. I just wanted to pay. What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you buy me my ice cream?"

"Well, then at least let me buy mine and Marie's ice cream. You can pay for your own if you're so worried about looking less gentlemanly."

Edward chuckled. "No, Bella. I'm paying for _all_ our ice creams. Don't even try to argue with me because you know you won't win."

I oh so maturely turned away from him angrily and pressed my face into Marie's curls instead, as she was still in my arms. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward trying not to laugh. Jerk. Jessica looked highly amused watching us bicker.

We were given our ice cream and took a seat in one of the booths. We ate quietly before Marie got out, wanting to look at the video arcade games they had set up in the parlor. It was just a small corner that wasn't too far away from the booth we were sitting at and I could easily see her form where I was, so I let her go.

I watched, a soft smile on my lips, as Marie looked at the games, poking and touching the joysticks and buttons, probably pretending she was splaying. She wasn't actually playing because I didn't give her any money and she didn't really understand what to do for those games anyway. She just liked to look and poke. It was cute. When was there anything Marie did that wasn't cute?

"Childhood goes by fast, doesn't it?"

My head snapped around to look at Edward. He was turned away from me, looking at Marie. He turned back around to look at me.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"Childhood. It seems to just go by so fast." He smiled. "We were little kids once, but that was a while ago. Don't you think it would be nice to go back? Things are so much simpler in the mind of a little child."

Those were my thoughts exactly. I wondered how he could have thought the exact same thing as I, before I answered. "You're right. It does go by fast. Too fast." I looked back at Marie.

"She's going to be grown soon," he said.

"Don't even make me think about it. She's already growing up so fast. I remember when she was just a little bundle in my arms and now she's going to school. Don't even mention her later years as a teenager!" I cupped my cheek in my hand and leaned my elbow on the tabletop.

"She really is a wonderful child."

I felt the tug at my lips again as I said, "She is. She's also such a funny little girl. You know she has a little crush on Seth?"

Edward laughed and nodded. "I noticed when she blushed around her. She's a lot like you, in both looks and personality."

I had absolutely no idea why or how I was feeling so comfortable around Edward Cullen. Maybe we just got along better when outside the office. Outside of work he didn't have to be my boss or I, his secretary. He was an alright person out of that business suit.

"People say that a lot," I said.

"It's true. Marie must be a delight to your family."

_Family_. Well, yes, she was a delight to my special family consisting of Rose, Jasper, and Alice. Blood family? I hardly had any. Other than Marie, the only blood family I had was Renee, and we all knew that she was a 'delight' all on her own.

"Do you provide for her all on your own, or does her father send money?" Edward went on.

_Father_. Something both I and Marie lacked. "I already told you that Marie doesn't have a true father," I said, sounding harsh. I immediately regretted my sharp tone; Edward didn't know and it wasn't his fault for my screwed up family. He didn't deserve the blunt side of my anger. I sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just… he left us a long time ago. I'd rather not talk about it."

Edward nodded, not pushing me further.

* * *

"Goodnight, Mommy," Marie said sleepily as I kissed her forehead and tucked her into bed.

"Goodnight, sweetie." I smoother her hair and stood up, watching her for a second before turning off the light, checking if the nightlight was on, then gently closing the door so that it wasn't completely closed; just a crack was open.

Marie was growing up pretty fast, but she was only five. I still had plenty of years left with her, but I knew she would just keep growing. I kind of wished I could just freeze the picture and keep it forever. I knew she would grow up and away from me eventually, but it felt good to be so close and spend so much time with her now. Something I had never gotten from my own mother.

I walked back into the living room and turned on the TV, keeping the volume low so it wouldn't wake Marie. All the lights were off, the only source of light being the blue-ish glow of the TV. The primetime sitcoms weren't doing much for me and I decided I needed something else to keep me occupied.

I suddenly remembered something Rosalie told me at Alice's Halloween party and decided now was as good a time as any to talk to her about it.

I picked up my phone and dialed Rose's number. Rose picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Bella, What's up?" she said. I could hear the soft sound of her own TV in the background.

"Just wondering if it's 'later' yet," I said, casually, but quietly as Marie was sleeping.

I heard Rose sigh. "Right. You want to know the other reason why I won't date Emmett yet."

"Yup."

"Royce King."

* * *

**A/N: Meh, sort of a cliffy… not really… maybe… you decide :)**

**The song for this chapter, "Slipping Through My Fingers" by ABBA, always make me feel a little teary. It's so sweet. I love, love, love ABBA. I know, weird, lol. You'd think a teen like me would be into Kanye West or Lil Wayne. Nope. It's ABBA for me. Of course, loving ABBA, makes me a fan of Mamma Mia! I actually like the Mamma Mia! Movie version of this song than the original. So if you want to look up this song on Youtube, in case you haven't already heard it, then I recommend the Mamma Mia! Movie version. **

**You know what song makes me even more teary eyed? "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. Get's to me every time. Why? Because I'm a total Daddy's little girl. I admit it. Always have been, always will be. There's actually a beautiful one shot about Edward and Renesmee using that song. It's named after the song and it's in my favourites in case you want to check it out. Anyway, the point is, I love that song. **

**Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews last chapter! I love you all and keep up the great REVIEWS!!!**

**Peace out. **


	11. Broken and Beautiful

**A/N: It is I. I apologize for the later than expected update. Reasons for such are stated at the bottom of the chapter. For now, read and enjoy! :)**

**On with Chapter ELEVEN!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"_Hey, Bella, What's up?" she said. I could hear the soft sound of her own TV in the background._

"_Just wondering if it's 'later' yet," I said, casually, but quietly as Marie was sleeping._

_I heard Rose sigh. "Right. You want to know the other reason why I won't date Emmett yet."_

"_Yup."_

"_Royce King."_

**Chapter 11: Broken and Beautiful**

Royce King? Old stalker boyfriend Royce King? What the hell? I was very confused on how that could throw a wrench in the relationship of Rose and Emmett. I mean, they had been broken up for months now. Unless Rose had… Holy hell, no.

"Rose, don't tell me you went back to Royce!" I said a little louder than intended. I glanced at Marie's door.

"What? No! No way in hell I would go back to him! What do you take me for, Bella?" Rosalie quickly responded.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. "Well what was I supposed to think? You tell me you won't get together with Emmett Cullen because of your ex-boyfriend. It makes you sound like you still have feelings for him. Wouldn't you think the same thing?"

"Yeah, I guess, but it's still not the reason."

"Well, then what is it?"

"You know better than anyone Royce's… stalker-like tendencies," Rose said slowly and in a cautious manner.

"God, Rose, he's still bugging you?"

"Yes."

"Has it lessened at all? Gotten worse?"

"It's starting to get worse. He hasn't full out approached me yet, but he still will occasionally send me flowers or leave messages on my machine. And recently, I think he's started following me around," Rose said, her voice sounding nervous and shaky.

"Why do you think that?" I asked.

"Because he somehow saw me with Emmett. Emmett and I have been on several dates before and I think either Royce or a friend of Royce's somehow saw me on one of them. Just a couple of days ago I got another message from Royce and he was telling me that he knows I've been seeing someone else and that I was cheating on him, despite the fact we aren't together anymore. I'm just worried, Bella. Royce is an influential person with money. He has connections."

She did have a point there, but she was also missing something else. "You're forgetting that Emmett isn't exactly a, for a lack of a better word, 'commoner' either, Rose. His father is the CEO of one of the most successful businesses in the world. If anything, I would say he has more connections than Royce King would ever have."

"True…"

"And have you even looked at Emmett? The guy is huge! He's really tall and his muscles could beat that of a pro wrestler's any day. The man's a bear."

"Okay, okay, I know that's all true, but I can't help but worry, okay? I'm sure Emmett can hold his own, but I don't want to put him in that situation. I'm just worried, alright? Just give me more time. I'm scared of what Royce will or will try to do." She sounded genuinely nervous.

"Why don't you call the police? You can get a restraining order against him," I suggested, and it was a damn good suggestion.

"I could, but I'm afraid it will provoke him even more."

I sighed. So did she truly believe it was better to do nothing? It would send the message to Royce that she didn't want him to stop bothering her. If she just let him keep stalking her without her doing anything to try and stop it, it would send the wrong impression to Royce. He would keep doing what he was doing because she made no serious move to stop him.

"Rose…" I groaned, ready to lecture her about this, but she stopped me.

"I know what you're going to say, Bella, and can you please not? I know you're worried about me, but please just let me handle this on my own. All I want is more time."

I had a million things I wanted to say, a million things I _should've_ said, but I didn't. Rosalie was one of my best friends and I may have thought she was being incredibly stupid, but she said she needed more time, and I was going to give it to her. With Royce, she had a lot to deal with right now. I understood what it was like to have so much on your shoulders.

"Fine," I said.

"Thanks Bella," she said gratefully.

We chatted lightly for a little longer, trying to change the subject from the heavy stuff of before. Suddenly, she asked me something I wasn't prepared for.

"So what did you do today?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh um, I spent the day with Marie, as I do every Sunday," I said, trying to sound casual. I wasn't lying; I was just restraining some of the truth. I _did_ spend the day with my daughter… and then my completely inhumanly handsome boss showed up and charmed the pants off Marie and ended up spending almost the rest of the day with us. Did I say how charming he was?

"I know _that_, Bells. I meant what specifically you did with Marie."

"Oh, I went to the park to fly a kite with her, and then we went to the ice cream parlor for a bit."

"Anything else?"

"No, not really," I said, but I could tell she knew I was lying. Rose knew me too well. That, and I was so terrible at lying.

"Did you see anyone today?" she asked lightly, but I knew what she was getting at.

"Gee, Rose, of course I saw someone today. I mean, the park is a pretty public place, there's bound to be _someone_ else there, you know." I was avoiding the question and she knew it.

"You know what I mean, Isabella."

"And what do you mean, Rosalie?"

"Hmm, I didn't word that properly. I meant, 'you know _who_ I mean'," she said impatience laced through her words. Okay, she definitely knew that I had accidently bumped into Edward Cullen today at the park, it was so obvious. But the real question was, how the hell did she know? Was she stalking me? Creepy…

"I still don't have any idea of what you mean, Rose," I said, still playing stupid. She couldn't make me crack.

"You're keeping something from me, Bells."

"So are you," I countered.

"Maybe I am," she said. I could picture her shrugging her shoulders. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you rolling your eyes, Bella?" she asked, very amused.

"So you _are_ stalking me," I accused, only half joking.

"Don't be silly, Bella. Why on earth would I stalk you?"

"Then how did you know I bumped into Edward Cullen at the park today with Marie?" I asked snidely. My brain just registered the words I said and my eyes widened. Crap, I just let it slip. I could practically hear Rosalie smiling triumphantly on the other end. Damn it.

"I never knew you saw Edward Cullen in the park today, but you just confirmed it for me," she said smugly.

"Huh, what?" I said, confused. I just confirmed her suspicions? How did she get suspicions in the first place?

Sensing my confusion, she answered, "I was talking on the phone to Emmett earlier and he said that Edward came by his place for dinner and he was smiling like an idiot."

"What does smiling like an idiot have anything to do with me?' Really, what did it have to do with me?

"Originally nothing, but Emmett says that nowadays, Edward always smiles like an idiot after you're around."

"Haha Rosalie, you're such a comedian," I said sarcastically. There was no way that was true.

"I'm not lying, Bella. I'm serious."

My eyes widened, even though she couldn't see, and the familiar blush rushed to my cheeks, making them a deep red. I didn't know whether to laugh at or insult Rose's absurdity. Emmett had to be interpreting Edward's 'smiles' the wrong way. If anything, Edward was glad to finally be rid of my company. The feeling was mutual. Although, he was pretty nice today…

"I'm sure Emmett's stretching the truth a little," I said.

"Why won't you admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"That you like him," she said matter-of-factly.

Since when did I like Edward Cullen? All this time all I ever did to Rosalie was complain on how much I did _not_ like him. Really. Was she thinking backwards or something? When did I ever give the indication that I liked my boss?

"Stop implying romance between the two of us, Rose. I do _not_ like my boss. Our relationship is purely professional."

"Uh huh. And that is why he met with you outside of work today."

"I bumped into him! It was an unintentional meeting, I swear!" My God, that woman was making too many assumptions. Just because we accidently ran into each other outside of work didn't mean we were romantically involved.

"Unintentional for _you,_ maybe," she said cryptically.

"What are you talking about? Unintentional for _me_?"

She audibly sighed on the other end. "It's not really my place to tell you, so I won't. You need to figure this out for yourself."

Figure out what for myself? I probably was sounding for a total idiot for not getting whatever Rosalie was saying, but I truly didn't understand. Get what? And what did it have to do with Edward? I got the fact that we annoyed each other to no end. What was Rose trying to say? I was confused.

"Quit leaving me in the dark, Rosalie," I said.

"Sorry, but this is really something you should sort out by yourself… or at least with Edward."

If that wasn't cryptic, I didn't know what was.

* * *

Another week had gone by without incident and I still wasn't getting what Rosalie had been talking about. Edward and I didn't really talk much at work. He still liked to order me around like his own personal slave, but other than that, it was usually just a polite greeting and occasional reminders of meetings and work.

I didn't know what had gotten into him. When I first started working here he wasn't that quiet or reserved. He was downright egotistical. Did something bad happen to him that would make him so… non-egotistical? He never mentioned our day at the park on Sunday, which I was grateful for because if he did, I would think about what Rose said about him smiling so much afterwards and then I would blush.

It was Wednesday morning and I walked into the office as usual. I saw Edward poke his bronze head out of his office as I walked in.

"Good morning, Edward," I said politely.

"Good morning, Bella," he said nodding and going back into his office.

To be honest I wasn't sure if I preferred this quiet environment between us or the constant butting of heads we had before. True, now he was less annoying and I could concentrate on my work without needing to blow off steam at a certain green-eyed, bronze-haired arrogant man.

Then on the other hand, when he annoyed the hell out of me, at least he was _talking_ to me.

My God, that sounded pathetic. I didn't need the sound of Edward's voice to get me through the day. I could function perfectly fine without him. In fact, the only reason I hadn't bitten off his head yet was because he was responsible for getting me my paycheck.

It was only an hour after I had gotten into the office when the phone rang.

"Hello. This is Cullen Incorporation, Edward Cullen's office. How may I help you?" I answered, as was routine.

"Is this Isabella Swan?" a man who's voice I didn't recognize asked on the other end. This puzzled me. No one ever called asking for me. I was naught but the lowly secretary and anyone who _did_ want to reach me already had my cell phone number.

"Yes, and this is…?" I asked politely.

"This is Dr. Jeremy Walker, your mother Renee Swan's doctor."

It clicked. Right, Renee was one of his patients at the mental ward of the hospital. He occasionally gave me progress reports of Renee's health. Why was he calling me? Did something happen to Renee?

"Oh, hello Dr. Walker," I said, trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice.

"Sorry to interrupt your work, but I should inform you about your mother."

"What happened to Renee?" I asked, my throat feeling tighter. What did she do? Was she alright? Was she finally getting noticeably better? Was she getting worse?

"Your mother suffered from a particularly bad spell last night."

"How bad was it?" I asked worriedly.

"Would you like me to tell you over the phone, or would you prefer to come to the hospital and have me tell you in person?" he asked.

I wanted to know now. It may have been better if he told me in person, but I wanted to know what exactly happened to Renee now. I would spend too much time worrying over what could have happened if I waited. "Tell me now, please."

"I'm afraid she hurt herself. It may have even been another suicide attempt."

My mouth went dry. "How?" I practically croaked.

"Somehow she got a hold of one of the nurse's scalpels and tried to slit her wrists. We have security cameras in all the rooms, so we were able to get to her in time before she did that. But she did manage to cut herself on one arm," he said in a professional tone. I suspected he was used to delivering difficult news to family.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"Physically, she's fine. But again, mentally, she's not doing well. I think it is better if I discuss the rest of your mother's condition with you in private, Miss Swan. Do you think you can come to the hospital sometime today?"

"Yes. I will be there as soon as I can," I said.

I hung up the phone and just sat at my desk for a few moments, trying to absorb this new information.

Renee quite possibly tried to kill herself _again_, and hurt herself in the process. If they didn't have security cameras in every room at the hospital, she might have succeeded. But… I thought she was getting a little better. Not drastically or dramatically better, but somewhat better. Why did she try to kill herself again? Was she really that miserable? Was the therapy doing nothing to help her?

I had come very close to losing my mother for the second time in my life. The first time wasn't quite as hard, just shocking, because I hadn't seen Renee in years and I didn't have very fond memories of her. This time though, was different. I still didn't get along overly well with her nor did I have any fond memories of visiting the hospital to see her, but it still hit me harder.

I suppose it was because I had seen how broken down she was, how sad. She looked even worse than when I had left her years ago. She was so worn and didn't have any life in her eyes. She was just different. You could tell that the past few years had taken a toll on her.

My God, my life was so screwed up, wasn't it? Never had a father, became a mother at eighteen, and now my own mother was in a mental institution after having tried to commit suicide, _twice!_ You think you have it bad when your parents ground you for staying out past curfew? Yeah, well I wish I had that when I was still a child. At least it would have shown Renee had cared.

I know things had been hard on her, but how could she do this? I always had so much pent up resentment towards my mother that I never thought about how much she _did_ mean to me.

She was still my mother and I still cared about her, despite everything that had gone on between us. All the disappointment and the sadness. All the resentment and the loss. After all this, I still cared about her. And once again, I had come so close to losing her.

Marie had come so close to never meeting her grandmother.

To my horror, a felt a tear slide down my cheek and drip onto the surface of my desk. And that single drip turned on the faucet.

Pretty soon I was sitting in my seat, crying like a baby. Tears were streaming furiously down my face and my shoulders visibly shook, but I didn't make a sound. I didn't wail. I bit my lip to keep myself from making sobbing noises. I didn't want anyone to find me like this, but I couldn't move.

**EPOV**

I collected the reports off my desk and stood up to go give them to Bella to file. I hadn't been talking to her much for the last week and a half because I needed some time to think. I immensely enjoyed spending the day in the park and later in the ice cream parlor with her and Marie.

Marie was such a clever and insightful child. I had never been drawn to a child such as how I felt drawn to her. I felt protective of her and loved to play with her, and she wasn't even mine. She was like a smaller version of Bella, almost. They shared many of the same habits and characteristics, like blushing.

Bella was surprisingly friendly too. Her love for her daughter was so obvious and transparent. You'd have to be a total idiot to not notice it. The two of them had a loving mother-daughter relationship that was to be envied. To be honest, I went to the park purposely knowing the two would be there. Bella was oblivious though. Strange for someone so damn observant.

Bella still puzzled me. I had an odd amount of interest in her and felt drawn to her more than to Marie. She was beautiful, and there was so much going on behind her face and in her mind.

I never felt this way about a woman before. It was thrilling yet frightening at the same time. There were times at the park or at the parlor where I felt like holding her hand or tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

The feeling was so foreign, but I liked it. Being around Bella made me feel… warm. I didn't like not talking with her a lot over the past days, but I was confused and sorting out my thoughts. I knew I had some kind of feelings for Bella, but just how deep these feelings were was something I still needed to figure out.

I walked out of my office and saw Bella sitting at her desk as usual. As I walked closer, I noticed she wasn't normal. Her side profile was slightly turned away from me so I couldn't see her face. Her shoulders were shaking and I heard small and what sounded like strangled sniffs coming from her, like she was trying to choke them back.

She was crying.

I couldn't deny the harsh tug of my heart when I saw her crying. I didn't like seeing her sad. Someone as phenomenal as Bella shouldn't cry or be sad. I remembered the twinge of sadness I saw in Bella's eyes when I mentioned Marie's father before, and I didn't like it. This was ten times worse.

Concern washed over my body as I quickly went to Bella. Putting the reports on her desk, I walked around the desk so I was on her side of it. Her face was downturned, looking at the desk top. To my dismay, I saw tear droplets on the top of the desk and knew she was very upset. I wanted to make her happier, but I didn't know how.

I kneeled down beside her chair and said quietly, "Bella?"

She didn't respond. I doubt she even knew I was there. Her mind was probably in another world.

I gently turned her chair so that she was facing me and her head suddenly snapped up to look at me, probably being startled by the movement I created. Her eyes focused on mine and my heart gave another sharper, more painful tug as I saw the salty tear tracks on her cheeks.

My voice was soft. "Bella," I sighed quietly. "What's wrong? Why are you upset?" I wanted to know so I could make it better. Although something told me this was something I couldn't fix quickly.

And I noticed that despite the fact her cheeks were tear stained, her eyes pink from crying, and her nose red from sniffing, she was still beautiful.

She looked at me for a minute before her face contorted with pain. Without saying anything, she let out another strangled sob and threw herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck as she cried freely into my shoulder. Automatically, without thinking or assessing the odd situation with my secretary, I wrapped my own arms around her waist and pulled her closer. I stood up slowly and sat in her chair, her arms still around my neck and crying.

I didn't care that she was soaking the shoulder of my suit or that someone could walk in at any time and see us. All I cared about in that moment was Bella. I hated to see her so distraught.

"Shhh," I soothed. "Bella, what happened?"

"M-mom… hospi-hospital…" she managed to choke out, the sobs impending her speech. But that's all I needed to know. Something was wrong with her mother. Something that got her in the hospital and Bella was reasonably upset. I still remembered the hospital bill in her kitchen weeks ago and wondered if it had anything to do with it.

Bella intrigued me, and I definitely had feelings for her. She was different and I wanted to unlock her secrets and she obviously must have had some hardships before in her life, especially with having to raise a child on your own at the young age of eighteen. From the constant darkness in her eyes, I could tell she had been through tough times. I wanted to know everything about her past. I wanted to know about her childhood, Marie's father, how she got to Chicago from Phoenix, what happened with her mother, what happened with her father, and so much more. I wanted to know everything.

I wanted to be there to pick up her broken pieces. She always acted tough, but I could see the vulnerability in her eyes that she kept well hidden. Call my feelings too strong, irrational, or just too soon, but that was how I felt. No woman deserved to be so sad, and it was worse that it was a woman as amazing and hard working as Bella. I didn't know everything about her, but it was my mission to find out.

I wondered why I cared so much about her, especially since she didn't seem to like me so much, but I couldn't help it. I was a little frightened of her pain, not being able to cure her of it, but I would be here for support. Even if she didn't know it, she could always talk to me.

I knew then, as I held her, that I was screwed over.

Why?

Because I was falling for my secretary.

* * *

**A/N: Tada! Review? For me? Thanks.**

**Okay, so I know this update is later than expected, and I apologize for that, but my coursework this semester is heavier than I had anticipated. Not to mention I decided to continue with learning French (something that is no longer mandatory once you reach a certain grade). For those of you who have or have tried to learn a new language that none of your family can fluently speak and something that you haven't been learning since you were a toddler, you know it is **_**not easy**_**. What's more, I not only have school, but family, friends, a novel I'm working on (it has nothing to do with any of the 3 fanfics I have written or are writing), and I need to get a part-time job soon. **

**Thanks for all those who are understanding and polite when requesting an update. And for those of you who are less than polite, and actually rude, please keep in mind that my life's purpose it to not be constantly writing fanfiction chapters for you. Thank you.**

**Speaking of my family life, it is my sister's 18****th**** birthday tomorrow (she's legal adult! … and I'm still a minor) so I'm not sure if I can update my other story. I will if I can find the time. So REVIEW!!!!!**

**Peace out.**


	12. When it Rains

**A/N: Why hello there. And just to let you know, a 'once a week' updating routine is pretty much going to stay the norm, with 99.9% of my updates occurring on the weekend. Capiche? Reason for the late update at the bottom. **

**And I've decided I'm tired of doing disclaimers. If you don't know by now, I'm not Stephenie Meyer. **

**On with Chapter TWELVE!!!**

* * *

_I wondered why I cared so much about her, especially since she didn't seem to like me so much, but I couldn't help it. I was a little frightened of her pain, not being able to cure her of it, but I would be here for support. Even if she didn't know it, she could always talk to me. _

_I knew then, as I held her, that I was screwed over._

_Why?_

_Because I was falling for my secretary. _

**Chapter 12: When it Rains – BPOV**

I don't know what compelled me to just throw myself in Edward's arms like that. He caught me at a moment in time where I was vulnerable and when I looked at him, something went off in my head. I saw security, I saw reassurance…

I saw a safe haven.

Something in my mind connected Edward with safety. Connected him with comfort. And when I saw him kneeling in front of me, his eyes full or worry and concern, well, my carefully built and constructed walls crumbled and for that small bit of time, I let him in. I had always been the strong one, comforting others when they needed it. I guess this time, I really needed someone to comfort me for a change. I was tired of always fighting away the difficult emotions.

Surprisingly enough, Edward didn't stiffen or push me away when I threw myself at him, literally. I couldn't help myself. I needed someone to lean on, and he was there.

Instead he wrapped his arms around me and sat down on my chair, holding me close. It didn't even occur to me that this was _Edward Cullen_ holding and comforting me. The man I was destined to despise for the rest of my life. I don't even remember exactly what I was thinking at the time. Only words like comfort and safety came to me.

I didn't even know why Edward was being so kind and gentle with me. He just sat there quietly, letting me cry out my frustration and sadness on his shoulder. He let me soak the shoulder of his suit while he just held me and soothingly stroked my hair with one hand.

It felt really nice to let go of my barrier and just let someone be the strong one for once. It was such a _relief_, like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I knew that as soon as I left the office, I had to appear strong again, but for now, it was nice.

Eventually, my sobs became quieter and less forceful. Slowly I calmed down so that what were once gasping cries were now mere hiccups.

After a few more minutes of calming myself, I pulled away a bit so I was no longer leaning on Edward's shoulder, and wiped my eyes with my hands. I probably looked like a complete and utter mess, my eyes all poofy and red and my make up messed up, but I didn't really give a damn.

Edward still had his arms around me, except a little more loosely. He looked at me, his eyes still worried.

"Sorry," I said quietly. "Sorry about your suit. I didn't mean… it was kind of unplanned…"

"It's okay, Bella," he said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "No thanks. I-"

But then I realized I was still sitting on his lap. My cheeks immediately turned bright red and I quickly tried to scramble off him, but his arms held me still.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked. My God, as if he didn't already know. He probably just enjoyed having a woman, any woman, on top of him right now.

"Well, I'm trying to get off of you…" I said, a little annoyed. Edward finally clued in and let go of me, allowing me to get off his lap and stand up properly. I straightened out my skirt and the bottom hem of my shirt, my cheeks staying that damn bright red the whole time. With my hair a little mussed and my clothes wrinkled, what would have someone just walking in thought?

He stood up and then an awkward silence fell over us. I kept trying to make my clothes and hair smooth again, even though I didn't really need to anymore. I looked anywhere but at him.

When I finally looked back at Edward's face, I saw he was looking right back at me. I blushed softly and suddenly remembered that I had to be getting to the hospital to speak with Dr. Walker about Renee. I picked up my purse and walked over to take my coat from its hook.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said. "But I need the rest of the day off. Um, family emergency." He should understand. I vaguely recalled sputtering something about my mom being in the hospital while I was crying. Thinking back to how he comforted me, I felt embarrassed. I just made myself seem like a huge crybaby in front of my _boss._ Nice going, Bella.

"Alright, Bella," Edward said simply. My head snapped up, shock. That was it? He wasn't going to argue with me? He was letting me go have the rest of day off so easily? No fight? What was with this Edward? I must say, it was an improvement.

"Um, thanks. I'll be back in tomorrow," I said, slipping into my coat.

"That's fine. And Bella?" he said as I was opening the door.

I turned around, a questioning look on my face.

"If you need to talk to anyone, I'm always here, okay?" he said. At first I thought he was bluffing or only saying such as to not seem rude, but his face held so much genuine concern, it made me slightly weak in the knees. He didn't seem to give a hoot about my problems before, but lately, he seemed much more caring.

I just nodded and left, not really knowing what to say. _"I might take you up on that offer sometime"_? That just sounded awkward to me.

I arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later, walking into the mental ward. I went up to the woman at the desk and said, "I'm Isabella Swan. I'm here to see Dr. Walker. He should be expecting me." It wasn't the same woman who worked on Saturdays, so she didn't know me already.

"Go down the hall over there. Second door on your left," she said shortly, looking back to whatever she was typing on her computer.

I thanked her and went in the direction she told me to, even though I already knew where Dr. Walker's office was. I wondered what Renee was doing now or what were the hospital personnel doing with her. Was she currently under supervision? Was she resting? Did they put her in a strait jacket?! God, I hoped not.

I stopped outside Dr. Walker's door and took a deep breath. I had looked in the rearview mirror of my car before coming and I looked like hell. My mascara was messed from my tears and my eyelids all poofy and red. I stopped in one of the hospital washrooms before coming up here; trying to wash away the messy make up and bring down the swelling of my eyes. I looked better, but I'm sure I was still less than presentable.

I knocked on the door and a man's voice from the other side called, "Come in."

I opened the door and took a step inside. Dr. Walker looked up from the work he was doing at his desk and motioned for me to come further in.

I did, closing the door behind me. Dr. Walker, a psychiatric doctor, was a kind middle aged man who was very professional. He motioned for me to take a seat by his desk, which I did. He quickly finished up whatever he was doing while I just sat there; staring at his desk which was covered with some papers and various framed photographs of who I assumed were his children.

After a minute, he looked at me, opening a folder on his desk which I could tell held information about Renee.

"So, Miss Swan, it is good to see you were able to get here quickly considering I interrupted you at your workplace. I'm sorry about that, by the way," he said politely. He was a good doctor; kind, but didn't let him get too attached to his patients, which was a good thing.

"No, it's fine," I said. "Could you tell me how my mother is doing?"

"Yes. I already told you the basics of what happened over the phone. Your mother suffered from a relapse in her depression. Her mentality isn't stable."

"But I thought you said she was slowly getting better," I said. Just as she took one step forward, she took two steps back. What could have caused her to go backwards like that? What could have caused her to want to try and end her life for the second time?

"Renee was showing minimal improvement, yes."

"Then why did she do this?" I asked, a little frustrated. "If she was getting better, even if only by a small amount, then why did she try to hurt herself?"

"What happened seems to be the result of a major depressive episode. Do you remember how one of the times you were here, two Saturdays ago, I informed you about how Renee's lack of appetite and insomnia? Those, among a few others, are symptoms of a major depressive episode. Something I think she has been suffering from longer than she would like to reveal. I assessed this and tried to address these issues in therapy and have given her medication to help her sleep. However, the symptoms continued until she finally had enough and attempted to end her life after, what I suspect were, continuous thoughts of death, which is another symptom and result of a major depressive episode."

I remembered him telling me about the symptoms and outcomes of clinical depression, but I suppose I very naively believed that this would go away as soon as Renee received treatment. I was stupid.

Dr. Walker continued. "Renee is still going through this episode and if left untreated, can last for about six months, sometimes it could last years. Of course, she _is_ being treated for this, but she can only overcome it if she wants to."

"What are you saying? She doesn't want to get better?" I asked.

"From her mental status examination, her major depressive disorder, or MDD, causes her to be preoccupied with thoughts of worthlessness, hopelessness, self-hatred, and/or in Renee's case, guilt and regret."

"Guilt and regret?"

"You have told me of your history with your mother briefly before. Will you tell me about it again please, Miss Swan?" he asked.

"Oh, well," I started, a little nervous about what he would derive from our history. Nothing good, I knew. "Renee gave birth to me when she was still a teenager. My biological father ran off before I was born, so she had to raise me on her own. We never really got a long that well. She was hardly home since she needed to work so much and when she was home, she never spent time with me. I guess I felt neglected. She always expected me to be an angel child even though I had to raise myself. It wasn't unusual for her to lose her temper or have very low moods. When I was fifteen I started smoking and drinking and hanging out with the "wrong crowd", I guess you can say. When she found out, she started drinking a lot herself. Whenever she wasn't at work, she was drunk. Sometimes she was drunk _at_ work, too. Arguments between us were common even though our communication wasn't too often.

"When I was seventeen I got pregnant. I saw this as a wake up call and decided I needed to get out of Phoenix. I contacted a friend here in Chicago and eventually made plans to move. That was the last time I saw or heard from Renee before she was moved here to get treatment," I finished.

"Do you see? Based on your history together, I'm assuming Renee suffered from this depression longer than we first thought. We can't say for sure, since this mental disorder is not completely understood yet, but I think it's safe to say she's been clinically depressed for quite a long time. There are several proposed causes of MDD, and I believe Renee suffers from primarily social causes."

"What are those?" I asked.

"Things such as poverty, social isolation, child abuse, and other factors could increase the risk of MDD. You already said that the two of you lived in poverty during your childhood and I wouldn't be surprised if she was isolated from whatever friends and family she had, becoming a social outcast once she became pregnant as a teenager. Do you know anything about her family before you came along?"

I shook my head. Renee and I never had long conversations and she never really mentioned her family before me. "No. She never spoke about her parents."

"They most likely were angry and disapproving when she became pregnant, thus why she never had financial help when you were born. Other social factors could have been your dysfunctional family relationship between you two. You told me you never got along well. Not only that, but she was abandoned by your biological father, which I'm sure was an emotional blow. She probably didn't have much social support during her pregnancy and in order to pay the bills, she had to work multiple jobs, which was stressful and demanding. And…" he hesitated.

"And what?" I asked. I didn't think it would be anything good.

"Abandonment from _you_ was most likely another big factor in her disorder. Since your mother had no support from her family or friends when finding out she was pregnant, she had probably considered an abortion more than once."

"Then why didn't she? That is one thing that had confused me a lot," I said. "Renee and I never got along well and much of the time she acted like I was a burden because I wasn't perfect. I don't know why she even bothered to have me in the first place."

"You have to remember she was only a teenager at the time and I'm assuming didn't grow up with the most loving of families. She didn't know how to raise you. Also, I believe she kept you, and didn't choose to have an abortion as many girls might have done in her situation, because she needed an anchor."

"Anchor?" I said.

"Yes. Renee wanted you for a selfish reason. I don't think she felt loved at home with her parents and felt she needed some meaning in her life. She wanted someone to love her no matter her faults, and she believed a child would do just that. She thought if she had a baby, that baby would love her and she, it. You would bring the meaning and purpose to her life that she believed she previously lacked."

That… made sense. I suppose I had never paid attention to Renee's needs before. I was selfish as a kid, always feeling angry at my mother because I didn't think she looked after _me_ well enough. I never once considered her side of all of this.

"Don't feel guilty," Dr. Walker said. "That was her mindset, and it shouldn't have been. She didn't seem to realize that having a child was going to be harder than she thought. It might bring purpose, but she also had to _give_ much of herself. She was under the illusion it would bring her love without her needing to sacrifice anything.

"And then the guilt and regret," he continued. "After you left, she must have felt she failed as a mother and drove you away. This is also part of the psychological part of MDD. She took all the blame for you leaving. She saw herself as a failure, and this fueled her condition."

That just made me feel guilty myself. The fact that I left her alone in Phoenix helped worsen her state. I was never close with Renee, but I still felt responsible for this, and I wanted to help make it better.

"Is there anything I can do to help her through this?" I asked him.

"You can be there and let her know that you want her to get better and that you care about her. She has a certain subtype of MDD, which is melancholic depression. She no longer shows an interest in things anymore. She doesn't react to things that would make others happy and has excessive guilt. I think she needs _you_ more than ever now. She feels she failed _you_, and that is where all the guilt is coming from. If you feel you can give it, she needs reassurance that she is not a failure.

"What's more, I said she doesn't show interest in things anymore, and that includes getting better. She doesn't show that she _wants_ to. The first step is healing is the desire to heal, but she doesn't have that desire."

"How can that change?"

"She doesn't have the desire because she doesn't have the motivation. We've started her on interpersonal psychotherapy, or IPT, but she still needs that motivation, that reason for wanting to get better. I'm thinking that maybe you can provide her with this."

"But I've been visiting her for weeks and she still tried to kill herself again. I don't think she finds motivation in me."

"Just think about it. Maybe there's something else you can provide that will motivate her."

* * *

"Wow, that's a lot to take all at once," Alice said.

I nodded, looking down at my hands that were tightly clasped in my lap. It was the same day but in the evening. We (Marie, Rose, Alice, Jasper, and I) were all at Alice and Jasper's house for dinner. The sun was beginning to set as we girls were sitting on the patio talking about my hospital visit earlier while Jasper was trying to teach Marie to play baseball a little ways from us on the lawn. Winter was only a few weeks away and we were basking in one of the last fairly warm evenings of autumn.

"Sometimes, I," I hesitated a bit before continuing. "Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at the future, like that's going to be me twenty years in the future whenever I think about Renee. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing this whole parenting thing right, since you know I didn't really have a great model. Both Renee and I got pregnant so young, that fathers of our babies running away, and I wonder if that's how I'm going to turn out," I said quietly.

I knew it was ridiculous and that I was doing things differently than what Renee did, but I couldn't help but be paranoid. Renee and I had a lot more in common than I thought. Both of us were teenage mothers and both of us saw our babies as the ones to give us meaning and purpose in our lives. That was what Marie definitely did for me.

"Oh, Bella, don't think like that. You know that you're nothing like Renee," Alice said, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, I don't see Marie up and leaving you, ever. She adores you," Rosalie said, smiling. I gave a small smile back and shrugged.

"I'm just a little paranoid. I never saw this second suicide attempt coming. It really makes you think about your life. I never knew Renee was in _that_ much pain. The doctor spoke to me about it before, but this was different… I don't know. It's a lot to take in and I'm not sure what to do." I sounded so pathetically helpless, I wanted to kick myself.

"He said she has no interest in anything anymore, like she's in some black hole. She keeps running away from help, from people who care and want to help her get better," I said.

"Dr. Walker said she needs motivation right?" Alice said. I nodded. "Well, maybe you could give her that motivation."

"What can I do?" I asked.

She just gave me a small smile and nodded to where Marie was learning how to swing a bat properly to hit the baseball. Jasper was standing behind her, his own hands on top of hers on the bat as he told her how to swing. "Renee said she wanted to meet Marie, didn't she? Maybe that's the motivation she needs."

"No," I said firmly. "Renee is in no state to meet Marie. I won't let Marie go near her until she is more stable."

"I know," Alice said. "But what if you changed that flat out 'no' to a 'maybe'? Maybe you could let Marie make a card just for Renee… or maybe you could let Marie and Renee meet each other, but tell Renee ahead of time. You could… set a timeline, let her know if she can, for a lack of a better word, behave, you can bring Marie to meet her on a certain day. Ugh, I don't even know what I'm saying, but I think Marie can be that motivation your mother needs."

"I don't know…" I said, unsure.

"Just think about it. You said the doctor said Renee thinks she failed you, and maybe she did, but Renee may view Marie as another chance. You're grown, so you two can make amends, but she can't take back the damage done to you. With Marie, she may view it as a chance to do the right she should have down by you. Be the grandmother Marie deserves and make up for the mother she wasn't for you that you deserved, and still deserve."

"I still don't know if it's a completely good idea, but… I'll think about it."

"She does have a point," Rose said. "I agree that Marie could be beneficial to Renee's healing. They don't necessarily have to meet just yet, but somehow let Renee know that Marie wants her to get better."

I had to admit, it made sense. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be the remedy that Renee so desperately needed, but I was worried about Marie. How would she feel seeing her grandmother that way? But as Rose also said, they didn't have to meet in person just yet.

Maybe Marie _was_ that step in the right direction Renee needed.

Maybe she could make it better.

* * *

**A/N: Review! Reviews are **_**my**_** motivation, so get on with the reviewing!**

**Okay, okay, yes I was a bad updater. But I DO have a good excuse as to why this is roughly a week late. My computer was having technical difficulties. It was a total pain in the ass. It is (mostly) fixed up now, but it still isn't in mint condition. I was pretty much pulling out my hair the whole time it was down. **

**And sorry if you felt disappointed that Edward was not a major part of this chapter. Remember that this story is not only romance, but under the 'Hurt/Comfort' category too. Renee and Bella's relationship is, and will, be a big part of the healing. That being said, Edward is back next chapter!**

**REVIEW!!! Next update will hopefully be next weekend.**

**Peace out. **


	13. All Fall Down

**A/N: Hi! I must say, for the few days after I posted the last chapter, I only got around 4 reviews and I was sad. I thought you guys liked my story :( but then I realized you weren't reviewing due to that stupid technical glitch FF was having and then I felt better. After it was gone I started getting reviews for this story again :)**

**I'm glad most of you didn't mind the thing with Renee. To those who do hate the Renee situation and want nothing but Edward filling every chapter, I have only one piece of advice. Discontinue reading this story and leave. Romance will be a big part of the story, but I'm trying to write a story that doesn't only have romantic love, but family love and friendship love too. Bella and Renee's broken relationship is a large part of the healing that needs to happen in this story and if you can't handle the fact that not every chapter will be full of romance and Edward love, I suggest you leave. Not everything in life has to do with romance. Some of the best books have many different themes incorporated.**

**That being said, on with Chapter THIRTEEN!!!**

**

* * *

  
**

_I had to admit, it made sense. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be the remedy that Renee so desperately needed, but I was worried about Marie. How would she feel seeing her grandmother that way? But as Rose also said, they didn't have to meet in person just yet._

_Maybe Marie was that step in the right direction Renee needed. _

_Maybe she could make it better._

**Chapter 13: All Fall Down**

"No more stories, Marie. It's time for bed," I said, putting away the storybook she handed me and pointed her to her bed. I had already read two books to her and she needed to go to sleep.

"Aw, Mommy, one more?" she asked.

I shook my head. "You have school tomorrow, honey. Time to sleep."

Marie climbed into her bed and burrowed herself under the covers. I tucked her in, kissed her cheek, then turned off the light and left. I left her door open a crack before heading to my own room. Normally I would stay up after Marie went to bed for another hour or two before going to sleep, but with everything that had happened today, with Edward, Renee, and what Alice and Rosalie told me, I really just wanted to go to Dreamland and forget it all.

I changed the loose tank top and pajama pants I wore to bed before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I decided to skip a shower and just take one in the morning.

I got into my bed and tried to go to sleep, but it wouldn't come. The day's event just kept replaying in my mind and I just couldn't seem to shake them off. After what must have been a couple of hours of trying to drift away with no success, I gave a huff of frustration and got up to do something that would make me tired.

I grabbed a book off my shelf and started reading, but the words just went out of my head as soon as I read them. After a long while, I put away the book angrily. It was useless. My mind couldn't be preoccupied. I couldn't stop thinking of today.

I know it was pretty selfish and pitiful, but I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for myself. I was aware that there were many people out there who were worse off than I. People who had bigger problems and hardships. But I still felt sorry for myself. I felt sorry for the fact I had such a screwed up past and a mother who was not well in her mind. I felt sorry for how I hated to see the hospitals bills that came in the mail even though I knew my money was helping Renee get better.

I was ashamed to admit that at times I felt bitter that Renee's treatment was taking money out of my bank account. Taking money I had saved over the years so I could have a decent life with my daughter. So Marie could someday go to college so she could follow her dreams and not be held down the way I had been.

I felt angry that Renee didn't bother to take care of me properly when I was a child, how she was hardly a mother let alone a good one, and now I was expected to pay to help her get better. Why was I expected to help her? She didn't do anything to help me when _I_ needed her, so why did _I_ have to help _her?_

I thought about all the other people in their beds at night. Some of them worse off than me, but others who didn't have any troubles in the world, content and satisfied as their eyelids close taking them to their dreams. I felt a small bit of resentment towards them. It wasn't fair.

I hated how I was being reduced to a whiny, ungrateful child with all these thoughts. Sometimes, though, you need to wallow in a little self-pity.

But I hated feeling sorry for myself. It made everything seem ten times worse and made me feel vulnerable. I couldn't be vulnerable. I needed to be strong. A trooper.

But in the late hours of the night like this, the mask would, at the worst of times, slip away and I would be me. Bella Swan, scared little chicken who needs to suck it up and move on. My slip in the office was something that could never happen again. I'm not saying I would turn into stone and be emotionless, but I couldn't let myself seem that weak again.

People say you shouldn't hide. I can't do that. If I don't hide my feelings, they would burst forth, and I had to put on a strong face for Marie. She was most important.

The door slowly creaked open and I turned around to see Marie poke her head inside. I was sitting up in bed, the lamp on my night side table was still on, but I wasn't really doing anything. I looked at the clock and realized it was past midnight. I had tucked Marie in four hours ago.

My heart just about broke when I saw her face. Her little cheeks were wet with tears and her lips were slightly trembling.

"Marie what's wrong?" I asked, lifting the side of my comforter up a bit, inviting her to come and slip in beside me. She crawled in right away and snuggled up to my side.

"I had a bad dream," she said quietly.

I wiped away the wet streaks on her cheeks wondering how bad it was. I didn't hear her screaming or anything, so hopefully not too bad. Marie always came to me at night whenever she had a nightmare.

"Do you want to talk about it? What was it about?" I asked.

"Everyone was giant peanut butter jars and they were chasing me, trying to get me," she said, burying her face into my side. I tried not to laugh, even though it was quite tempting. It was scary to Marie, so I knew laughing wouldn't make her feel better.

"Was I a giant peanut butter jar?" I asked. I tried to hide it, but the amusement was still clear in my voice.

Marie looked up at me and glared. "Yeah." And then her eyes grew scared again. "It was scary, Mom."

"It's alright," I said soothingly. Suddenly, Marie sat up and looked at my face, her eyes widened and I got worried. What was the matter? Was there something on my face?

"Mommy, is your cheek wet?" she asked, pointing to my left cheek. I lightly touched it with my fingertips, and low and behold, there's a small bit of water on my fingers. Tears? But when did I cry? I wanted to kick myself. A few tears must have slipped without me knowing while I was busy whining and feeling sorry for myself. I was such a selfish idiot.

Marie got up on her knees and wiped away the wetness from my cheek and said, "Why were you crying?"

I shrugged. "I have a lot on my mind right now," I said simply.

"Like what?"

I shrugged again. "It's nothing important."

"Then why did you cry?"

Dear God, she was persistent. "Just worrying about work and stuff."

"Are you sad 'cause you had to go to the doctor, today?" she asked. How did she find out I went to the hospital? I didn't tell her.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked.

"I heard Auntie Alice and Auntie Rose say it," she explained, looking a little guilty for eavesdropping. "Are you sick? Did the doctor give you medicine?"

I shook my head. "Marie, you know it's not nice to listen to other people's conversations. Don't do it again, okay?" She nodded, but I could tell she only agreed so I wouldn't be mad. "And the doctor didn't give me anything. I'm not sick. I went because he needed to talk to me about your grandma. She's still very sick."

"What is she sick with?"

"It's a different kind of sick than what you get," I said. "She's very sad."

"Can I visit her? Maybe it will make her happier," Marie suggested.

I was going to give an immediate 'no', but then remembered what Alice and Rosalie told me, about how Marie could possibly help Renee get better. I still didn't think they should meet face to face just yet. I was still thinking about it. I tucked Marie's hair behind her hair. "I'll think about it," I said.

"Okay." She paused, looking at me. "You still look sad, Mommy. You should be happy."

I had to stop myself from saying 'why?', because I knew that would have disappointed her little heart. I needed to stop being so damn negative.

"Okay, kid," I said, lying back down to go to sleep. "You make it sound so easy, though."

"I think it _is_ easy, Mommy."

"It is?" I asked, reaching over and turning off my lamp. I laid down on my right side, facing Marie, while she laid on her left, facing me. I could see the outlines of her facial features form the pale moonlight spilling into the room from the window. "What do you think being happy means?"

Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, obviously trying to figure it out. "Butterflies," she said finally.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "'Butterflies is being happy?"

She nodded. I chuckled lightly. Of course butterflies was the answer to being happy for Marie. She was five years old. The entire world and everything in it was so much simpler in the eyes of a five year old. "Go to sleep now, sweetie. Goodnight," I said quietly.

"Goodnight," she whispered, closing her eyes. I laid awake as I heard her breathing even out, indicating she was now asleep. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling.

Marie made everything look so easy and simple, even though I knew it wasn't. But that was the beauty of a little girl's mind. She was happy with the littlest things, like butterflies and flowers. It made me feel ten times more selfish for my whiny thoughts earlier. If Marie could stay positive all the time, the so could I. Being so negative would take me no where.

The situation with Renee would probably get worse before it got better; most things always did, but I would somehow have to make it through.

But despite my new resolution, I still couldn't help but feel this impending cloud of doom hanging around close by, just waiting for the opportune moment to come pour down on me.

It didn't sound or feel too promising.

* * *

"Bye, sweetie. Have a nice day," I said to Marie as I dropped her off at school the next morning.

"Bye, Mommy," she said quickly, running off, eager to join her friends.

I ended up not getting much sleep last night. The day's events as well as my little late night conversation with Marie kept going through my mind. Not to mention that little cloud of impending doom I felt approaching. Staying positive was harder than I thought.

"Hey, Bella!" I heard Jessica call as I walked down the hallway of the office building, coffee in hand, heading towards my office. I groaned internally and turned around to face Jessica. I was really not in the mood for her mindless gossip. She really should have gotten a job as some writer for a gossip magazine. But then again, she would probably put 'like' between every typed word.

"Hi, Jessica," I said politely, trying to have a friendly tone. With everything going on, the fact I hardly got enough sleep last night, and how Jessica just seemed to bring out the worst in me, it was hard to seem cheerful.

Jessica caught up to me and said, "You look tired, Bella. Late night?" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and I almost choked on the coffee I was drinking. Of course _she_ would come to that solution. It was common knowledge among those that had been working here for the last couple of years that both Jessica and Lauren Mallory would sleep with pretty much any man as long as he had a lot of cash and wasn't seventy years old. Men like Edward and Emmett were their perfect catch.

"No," I said tartly as I entered my office and sat down behind my desk.

"Aw, come on, Bella. Don't be so, like, snappy. You should loosen up!" she said, perching herself on the edge of my desk. Why didn't she go find Lauren?

"I'm not snappy," I said. Well, maybe I was a little, but only because she was annoying the hell out of me. "I'm just more mature. I do have a daughter to think about before I jump at every man."

"Right. I forgot about her." Jessica glanced at the two little framed photographs I had on my desk. One was Marie's kindergarten school picture and the other was a picture of Marie, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and me last summer sitting under a big tree. "But don't you get tired? Like, tired of always having to be taking care of a kid and thinking about them before yourself?"

I sighed. My patience worn out. "No. I don't get tired of having my daughter to take care of." She looked at me skeptically. "I wouldn't trade her for a freer lifestyle, ever." I looked at Jessica's face once more and sighed again. "You'll understand better when or if you have your own kid one day." For her sake, I hoped the father of her children would be smart, because God knew she lacked that.

The door opened and in stepped Edward. He nodded politely at us, walking towards the door to his office. "Morning, Miss Swan, Miss Stanley," he said briefly.

"Hey, Mr. Cullen!" Jessica said cheerfully. She beamed at him, but he already retreated into his office. I had to resist the urge to snort. She huffed and stood up.

"I'll see you later, Bella," she said before leaving.

I breathed out a small sigh of relief at her departure and turned to my computer, getting to work. For the next couple of hours the only sounds in the office were the clicks of my fingers on the keyboard and the rustling of papers. The phone rang a few times, but other than that, it felt peaceful. My work was a welcome distraction from letting my mind stray to my conversation with Marie last night or to yesterday. It was too bad that this distraction was only temporary.

Before I knew it, it was time for my lunch break. I probably would have skipped it if Edward didn't come out of his office and clear his throat in front of my desk.

"Ahem."

I jumped slightly in my chair and my head snapped up to look at him. He chuckled quietly at my reaction and I just continued to look at him. I then noticed that something in Edward's eyes was off. Something was bothering him.

"Is there something you need, sir?" I asked. He grimaced a bit at my formality.

"It's your lunch break, Bella," he replied simply. I looked at the clock and was surprised by how much time had passed since I came into the office.

"Oh, thanks," I said, closing the files on my computer and getting up. I put on my coat and was reaching for my handbag when I noticed Edward was still there, looking at me. I turned to him and raised my eyebrows in question. He still didn't respond. I spoke up.

"Is something wrong, Edward?" I quickly glanced down at myself to make sure I didn't have some embarrassing stain or rip on my clothes. Nope. Everything was in order.

He shook his head. "No, everything is fine."

I picked up my handbag and turned to leave when Edward called my name.

"Bella?"

I looked at him. "Yes?"

He looked a little sheepish as he asked, "Do you want to go out and grab some lunch with me? As coworkers."

If he didn't add that little 'as coworkers' part in the end, I would have though he was asking me out on a date. But I knew better. Men like Edward Cullen didn't ask the lowly young single moms out on dates; he asked the gorgeous, rich supermodels. My immediate reaction was no, but then I decided what the hell, he only said as coworkers, right? Coworkers went out to lunch all the time. But then again he was more my boss than coworker. Eh, our jobs were co-dependent in a way, so it should be fine.

I was far too paranoid about this, and I didn't even know why.

I nodded. "Sure."

He smiled crookedly and I may have stopped breathing for a split second. His smile was gorgeous to say the least.

"There's a small restaurant down the street. Want to go there?" he asked me.

"Okay," I said, I didn't really care. I'd probably already been to whatever restaurant he was talking about. I had worked in this particular area longer than he had been.

We left the office building, walking down the street in awkward silence. Well, it was awkward for _me._ Edward on the other hand looked… well, I didn't really know how he looked since I avoided looking at his face. I wasn't even sure why there was this tension between us or why I was acting like a nervous teenager going on her first date. It was kind of pathetic, really.

We arrived at the restaurant, Edward very politely opening the door for me, and we went inside. The hostess waiting at the front looked towards us and immediately she stood a little straighter once her eyes landed on Edward. She smiled a little too widely.

"Welcome to _La Bella Italia_," she said, her eyes never straying from Edward. It was so obvious she was interested in him. The worst thing was, she didn't look older that eighteen. I didn't look to see if Edward noticed; I still wasn't looking at him. I truly was pathetic.

She seated us in a booth near the back of the restaurant and left with another flirtatious smile towards Edward. I didn't really like the way she was looking at him. It made a very unwelcome urge to slap her across the face lie in the pit of my stomach. I had to control these teenager instincts.

The waitress came right after the hostess left. Thankfully, she was an older woman who was married, judging by the wedding band on her finger, who didn't show any interest in Edward. Weird how it made me feel so relieved.

She brought us our drinks and then left to tend other tables until our food was ready. That same awkward silence fell between us again. I wondered who would be the first to break it. I didn't really want to.

"What are you thinking?" he asked suddenly. I moved my eyes to his face to see he was staring intently back at me. I shrugged a bit.

"Nothing you would find interesting," I said lightly.

"I beg to differ. I find your thoughts very interesting," he disagreed. He was feeling persistent today, wasn't he?

"I was thinking about my family and work," I said very vaguely. These weren't lies. Renee and Marie were always on my mind unless I was very distracted, which I wasn't, and I was also thinking about him, and he related to work.

Edward frowned. "You like to give vague answers, don't you? You never answer me properly." He sounded somewhat saddened by this.

"You wanted an answer, you never specified what kind of answer you wanted," I said rather immaturely. I wondered what his definition of a proper answer was. "What are _you_ thinking about Mr. Cullen?" I asked him. I expected him to be either annoyed or amused; the most common of his emotions whenever dealing with me. But instead he remained serious.

"I was thinking about yesterday," he replied.

I stiffened a bit remembering how I broke down pathetically yesterday in the office. I let Edward see me like that, and worse, I leaned on him for comfort. I dreaded to ponder what he thought of me now. He probably thought I was a mentally unstable woman with random emotional breakdowns.

"What about yesterday?" I said, obviously avoiding the subject.

"You know, Bella."

I did know. And I also knew why he was bringing it up. He was curious. He wanted the story to go behind the meltdown. I hoped he didn't tell anyone about it though he didn't seem like the type who would.

Edward spoke again. "Why were you so upset?" he asked gently. I bet he was afraid I would burst into tears right there in the restaurant or have some other weak moment. Why, oh why did he have to see me like that yesterday?

"Why do you want to know?" I said back, a slight edge to my voice. Immature, I know, but I felt my carefully constructed walls slowly slipping, and I hated it. It scared me.

"Bella, I'm only asking because I'm worried," he said. I looked into his eyes and actually saw sincerity. "I'm pretty sure things like that isn't a regular occurrence for you. You're my coworker and my friend," he smiled when he said 'friend'. I also noticed that he said coworker instead of employee. "I'm just inquiring into your welfare."

"It isn't a regular occurrence for me, but you just caught me at a weak point. We all fall down sometimes. I'm fine."

"Somehow, I don't believe that."

I looked into his green eyes for a few moments more, not saying anything. He was curious, of course, but I also saw honesty. He was telling me the truth about being worried.

I didn't want to tell him, but at the same time I felt I needed to. It was an indescribable feeling. This was my boss, this was Edward Cullen, rich boy extraordinaire, yet I still felt the need to pour out my problems to him. I knew that talking about your feelings was supposedly good for you. I already told everything to Rose, Alice, and Jasper, but they gave me advice and now I couldn't stop contemplating their advice about Marie in my head. Maybe I needed another outlet. But talking about your problems to someone you never really liked was never an easy task.

I decided to answer him 'properly', but I wasn't going to pour my heart out all at once. Keep it blunt and short. I felt a pull towards Edward, and I felt a need to let him in and talk to him, but I wasn't sure I was ready.

"My mother is in the hospital," I said shortly.

"Is she the one you're paying for treatment for?" he asked quietly, but seriously.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but nodded. He was still thinking of that stupid bill he found in my apartment quite a few weeks ago. I thought, or rather hoped, that he had forgotten about it.

The waitress came suddenly and put our food down, breaking our conversation. I thought Edward would drop the subject as soon as the food made an appearance, but I was wrong. Once the waitress left, he spoke again.

"What I don't understand, Bella, is that your mother has obviously been in the hospital for a while, judging by that bill, yet you're upset just now. Did something happen?"

I looked back into his eyes and saw concern now in them. He was concerned about me.

I grimaced, thinking back to that phone call from Dr. Walker. I probably shouldn't have had him tell me about Renee's second suicide attempt over the phone, but call it an impulse.

"She had some… complications," I said, putting a piece of mushroom ravioli in my mouth.

"Complications? What was it? I know a fair bit about medicine." He really didn't want to let the matter go. It seemed he really, really wanted to get to the root of what was bothering me.

I shook my head. "She's not physically sick. She's a mental patient." I flinched at how cold the words sounded. Calling her a mental patient automatically made me think of a crazy screaming woman with scraggly hair, sitting in a white room and wearing a strait jacket. That wasn't Renee.

"She's not crazy or anything," I said, not really knowing where the words I was saying were coming from. "She's depressed." I started picking with the corner of my napkin. Before I knew it, the words flew from my mouth. It was word vomit. "She's sad and guilt-ridden and lonely and self-loathing and… and she hates herself. Too much. She barely eats and has no interest in anything anymore. She always has all these sudden bouts of sadness or anger and the therapy doesn't seem to be helping her. If it did, she wouldn't have tried to kill herself for the second time in her depressed life. And now I don't even know what the hell I'm saying or what to do about her to make her better because this is my entire fault, and-"

My eyes widened and I abruptly shut my mouth when I realized I just said all of that. It was uncontrollable and I immediately regretted it. I just revealed far too much. I felt myself all these words but couldn't find the sense to stop before I said something stupid. Too late. I said something stupid.

I just admitted that I was to blame for my mother's severe depression and suicide attempt. He must have been thinking about what a horrible person I was. Causing my own mother to hate her life enough to end it. I hated to even imagine what kind of terrible thoughts of me were floating around in his head. I wondered if this would make my job much harder to keep. Probably.

"Bella…" Edward said. I expected him to sound cold and stiff, but it was quite the opposite. He sounded soothing and as if he was trying to coax me into looking at him. I slowly allowed my eyes to ride to his face, ready to look away at the first sign of contempt.

But instead his face was worried, his eyes holding concern and comfort, like he didn't believe my words, the words blaming myself. There was another emotion in there that was not quite so easy to decipher, though. It was foreign.

It didn't look like he was judging me or feeling disgusted. He looked so worried and like he wanted to help. He looked like he cared.

And for the second time in two days, Edward Cullen looked like a safe haven.

* * *

**A/N: Review! And sorry for the late update. Next update will **_**hopefully**_** be next weekend. **_**Hopefully.**_

**3 things stopped me from updating last weekend. 1) I got obsessed with a new book and literally couldn't put it down, it was so damn suspenseful. It was The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Yes, I know SMeyer recommended it, but I actually didn't know that until after I finished the book and was digging online for the release date of Book 2. **

**2) Personal problems. A friend of mine, who is like a sister to me, is going through a difficult time right now and needed me with her. She comes before my stories, sorry.**

**3) Inspiration hit me and I've been feverishly working on a new original novel, **_**not**_** a work of fanfiction. At home and even at school in between classes, I've been scribbling down things on random sheets of paper or in a notebook, developing the characters and plot, brainstorming titles, writing rough summaries, etc. Sometimes I did this **_**during**_** classes (bad, Laura! Bad!). It's still in the very rough stages, of course. **

**So those are my reasons. I type too much in my author's notes, but oh well. I know some of you got impatient with me, but meh *shrugs*.**

**Oh! And I also started a LiveJournal account because my FF profile was getting lengthy, so I needed somewhere to dump a bit of the load. If any of you have a LiveJournal too, feel free to add me as a friend! You can also leave me suggestions on what to write in my entries in your review (ex. view on Breaking Dawn). The link is the Homepage link on my profile.**

**Peace out. **


	14. All These Things That I've Done

**A/N: What is this?! What is this?! An update on a weekday! Eh, I'm on March Break for the week, so that is why. Don't go thinking since I'm on break I will be posting another chapter ultra soon (like, tomorrow) because I won't. One of my teachers was mean and decided to assign a large assignment over the break. Boo school.**

**Enjoy the next chapter!**

**On with Chapter FOURTEEN!!!**

**

* * *

  
**

_But instead his face was worried, his eyes holding concern and comfort, like he didn't believe my words, the words blaming myself. There was another emotion in there that was not quite so easy to decipher, though. It was foreign._

_It didn't look like he was judging me or feeling disgusted. He looked so worried and like he wanted to help. He looked like he cared._

_And for the second time in two days, Edward Cullen looked like a safe haven._

**Chapter 14: All These things That I've Done – EPOV**

It hurt to see Bella so clearly distressed. She had just blurted out the truth about her mother to me and looked horrified at what she revealed. It was unintentional, I could tell, but I still felt guilty at pressuring her to tell me. I wanted to know what made her so upset yesterday. I wanted to help, but I'm afraid my curiousity got a little _too_ persistent.

Well, they say curiosity killed the cat. I wasn't the one that was supposed to be suffering, but I was. I hated seeing Bella like this. It never hurt this much when any other person, man or woman, was upset. Yet, for Bella, it was different. Everything was different for Bella.

It scared the hell out of me that one woman could have such a strong effect on me when I hadn't really known her for very long. All these foreign feelings were swirling around in my head and I didn't know what was what or why. I knew I was developing feelings for Bella, but the extent and power of those feelings only confused me.

I never thought much about women. They were just there. I dated a few, flirted with more on a daily basis, but nothing more. I knew that my mother wanted both Emmett and I to find nice long-term girlfriends but I never bothered looking.

But with Bella, I found myself actually wanting to be close to her, to hold her in my arms or hold her hand. The small, sweet gestures like hand holding that were innocent, yet intimate. Before, the only times I got intimate with my "girlfriends", who were really no more than flings, was for the sex. I wasn't a player who had a new woman on my arm every week, but I certainly was not one for commitment.

I didn't just want some little fling with Bella. It scared me just how much I desired a relationship with her. A real one.

I knew I had to act upon my feelings or someone else would snatch Bella up and she wouldn't look at me twice if that happened.

But not yet. I was pretty sure Bella didn't hate me anymore, but I knew she didn't fully trust me either. Not to mention she had to think about her young daughter and that she was going through a particularly difficult situation with her mother right now.

Hearing Bella's problems and looking at her now, I felt like such a spoiled, arrogant ass. I _was_ a spoiled, arrogant ass. I didn't know everything about Bella's past. I doubt I even scratched the surface, but I knew it must not have been the sheltered and happy childhood I experienced. My family was wealthy, Esme and Carlisle were the best and most loving of parents, and the only hardship I faced was working my ass of in college, but I doubt that counted as a "hardship".

Bella was so upset over what happened to her mother and I knew I would have to appreciate Esme twice as much now. I knew I took my mother for granted and felt so much more grateful for her.

Bella was looking down at the table top. It didn't take a genius to know she didn't mean to tell me so much about her mother and that now she regretted it. I had no idea what was going on in her head at that moment, the emotional turmoil she must have been going through, but I wanted to let her know that I wasn't going to judge her. If at all, it made me admire her even more.

"Bella…" I said soothingly. I wanted her to look at me again.

Bella slowly raised her head and looked me in the eye. Her own eyes were guarded and slightly anxious.

I wanted to take away the guard from her eyes and have her open up to me. I wanted to be with her, not only in the literal sense, but as in a relationship as well. My confusing feelings for Bella must have been so clear and obvious in that moment, so transparent, that I wouldn't have been surprised if Bella noticed it herself. I could of sworn she must have seen _something_ in me, for her eyes and shoulders relaxed the smallest amount. It was better than nothing.

But Bella didn't need some infatuated man with her right now, she needed someone to talk to. I would be that someone.

"That's a lot to handle," I said quietly. She nodded. "Bella, why do you blame yourself?"

She lightly bit her bottom lip and a wave of desire washed through me. I pushed it back. Bella needed support.

"You can tell me," I said. "Maybe letting it out will make you feel better." I knew that keeping all your thoughts and emotions inside would just hurt you later. It would all just build up before you had to burst.

"I already told a couple of people," she said so quietly I had to lean forwards a little bit. "But… I don't know. I'm a bit stuck on what to do next."

"Maybe you should tell someone you don't know incredibly well." In other words: me. "So you can get a clean, unbiased opinion and advice. Just in case."

Bella smirked at me. "You're just trying to get me to tell you, Cullen."

I smiled in return. "That could be part of it, but I _do_ want to help you, Bella. I don't like to see you so troubled." She still looked hesitant. "You don't have to tell me everything about you. Just tell me why you think this situation with your mother is your fault. It might help."

She took a deep breath. "I don't _think_ it's my fault. I _know_ it's my fault."

"What did you do?"

She let out a bitter laugh. "What did I do? Let's see. I got pregnant, now that wasn't very smart. Then I up and left her in the middle of Phoenix and didn't call or write or visit her for nearly six straight years. I _could've _done those things, but I didn't. There are so many things I could've done." She grew quiet near the end. I waited patiently, knowing she wasn't done yet.

Bella sighed. "I had a tough childhood. I told you I grew up in Phoenix, right? Well, I grew up in the very, very poor section of Phoenix. My father left my mom before I was born so I never knew him. My mom, Renee, had to raise me on her own. She and I weren't very close… she wasn't home a lot due to the constant need to be working for money, and when she _was_ home, we fought. Verbally. I wasn't the perfect daughter she expected me to be." Bella grimaced as what I suspected was a particularly unwanted memory came to mind.

"Go on," I said softly. I hated seeing her pain, but I loved how she was letting me in, even if only for a little while.

"She started drinking… a lot. It had gotten to the point that whenever she wasn't at work, she was drunk. Sometimes she was drunk at work too. This just made me resent her more. When I got pregnant I knew I had to get out of there." I wanted to ask her about Marie's biological father, but I knew it wasn't the time.

"She wasn't happy about me leaving, but I had to. I couldn't stay in there anymore. It would've killed me if I stayed. I contacted Rosalie, you know, the girl who goes out with your brother." I nodded. "I contacted Rosalie who used to live with me in the slums but left when her parents died and relatives in Chicago took custody of her. I managed to get out of Phoenix and stayed with Rose and her relatives for a little while until Marie was born and I had enough money to move out with her."

"And your mother?"

She shrugged. "I didn't contact her in any way after I left. I still had so much hurt and resentment from all those years of living with her that I wanted nothing to do with her anymore. I just thought she would move on with her life and live like I never existed. She never really seemed to care about me that much, so I always thought me leaving would be good for both of us."

Bella's shoulders slumped and it sent a pang of sadness through my heart to see her so sad.

"I was wrong, though. Leaving was one-sided; it was good for _me_ but not for Renee. I spoke to the doctor yesterday and he told me that the fact I left her was most likely a big part of her depression. She had already experienced social isolation and so much stress, and then I added on to that by leaving. I made her feel like a failure and gave her a lot of guilt. The fact that I didn't contact her at all probably made her lonelier than ever. She had me, hoping I would bring purpose to her life, but instead I only brought more pain. If I had only stayed with her or at least tried harder to bring her with me. Or if I just phoned her or visited her every now and then after I left. Maybe she wouldn't have felt so alone and guilty then. I should have just-"

"Bella, stop," I said, cutting off her guilt-ridden talking. She was being ridiculous. She shouldn't feel so guilty and angry at herself. She only did what she believed what was best for her child.

Bella looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go on rambling like that. I honestly don't know where all those words came from. I'm not used to just spilling the beans to people. I know that was a lot to take in. I'm sorry if you didn't want that big of an explanation. I didn't mean to just go on and on and on. I'm sorr-"

"Bella," I said, chuckling. "You need to stop apologizing for everything. And yes, you do sometimes ramble, but I find it cute." She blushed deeply, making her cheeks bloom. I didn't mean to be so forward, but it was worth it to see her blush. It was beautiful.

"The reason I stopped you from talking was because I didn't like the way you were putting all of the blame on yourself," I said.

"Well, what else do you do when it's your entire fault? If I had done things differently, maybe Renee would be not as bad. Maybe she wouldn't be depressed at all."

I shook my head. "Bella, from what you told me, you shouldn't be putting all the blame on yourself. I'm not a psychologist, but I do know that what happened wasn't your entire fault. You were doing what you thought was right for the well-being of your child. And I'm sure it did help Marie. She was given a much better life than she would have been given if you stayed in Phoenix. You left for her. You left to be able to give her a happy and well-provided childhood. Marie was your top priority at the time, as she should have been."

"I know," Bella whispered. "But I still shouldn't have up and left Renee like that without ever looking back. I just abandoned her. I shouldn't have done that."

"Maybe not, but with what I heard from you, her alcoholic ways, increasing stress, and unhappy relationship with you probably wouldn't have ended well anyway. Besides," I waited for her to meet my eyes. "What's done is done and just lingering over the past, thinking about what could have happened if things were done differently, letting all the regret consume you, is _not_ going to help the situation that is happening _now_ get any better. You need to work on how to fix what's happened. You need to move forward."

Slowly, the sad and lost look left her eyes and was replaced by the fiery determination I was much more used to seeing. There were still traces of the sadness still left over, but that was expected. You can't just brush something like that off without still feeling the pain and regret.

"I know," she said, sounding a little bit surer of herself. It wasn't one hundred percent confident and strong, but it was better than before. "Rose and my other friend, Alice, already suggested something, but I'm still thinking about it."

"What did they say?" I asked.

Bella looked a little reluctant to share with me. I'll admit I was a little hurt that she was still hesitant to talk with me after she just told me so much about her mother, but I remembered that she wasn't used to being so open. This was still new to her.

She looked back into my eyes. Something in the way I was looking at her must have reassured her. "They said that I should let Marie and Renee meet. Up until now, I had purposely kept them apart. I told Marie that her grandmother was sick in the hospital, but I wouldn't let her see her. Renee is unstable and I'm afraid of letting Marie meeting her for that reason. I wanted to wait until Renee was a bit better before she met her.

"But the doctor said that Renee lacked the motivation to get better, and Alice and Rose agree that Marie could very likely be that motivation Renee needs. They said that they didn't have to meet face to face just yet, but somehow let Renee know Marie wants her to get better. Like a drawing or something handmade."

I contemplated this for a minute. Alice and Rosalie had a point. It was possible that Marie could be the motivation Renee needed in order to heal. I agreed with Bella that meeting face to face wasn't a good idea right now if Renee was truly as unstable as Bella said. But meeting indirectly could be better.

"I'm not Marie's father," I said, "and I'm not in any position to tell you what you should do with your daughter, but if I were in this situation, I would let Marie perhaps make a card or draw a picture just for your mother. Maybe even write a short letter depending on how well she can write. This way, the two don't necessarily meet, but it lets your mother know that Marie is thinking of her and wants her to get better. Maybe if she knows her granddaughter wants her to heal, she'll want to heal herself."

Bella was silent for a moment, contemplating over what I jut said. Her head was tilted to the side slightly and her eyebrows were furrowed. I hoped she was taking what I said to heart. Her face cleared and she looked at me in appreciation.

"Thanks Edward. I've heard your advice from Alice before, but hearing it said again from someone else helps." She smirked. "You sound like a therapist. You're good at all this emotional stuff. I'm horrible at it."

I shrugged and smiled at her. "It's one of my many talents. I'm good with people."

Bella snorted.

"What?" I asked.

"You'd be better with people if you just drop that superiority complex of yours. Times like these, when I don't see it on you anymore, seriously make me think better of you."

"I have a superiority complex?"

"Yup. And an over inflated ego."

I laughed, a little relieved she was back to her normal self but also craving more about Bella's past. I wanted to know everything about this fascinating woman. And not just her past, but everything. I wanted to know her favourite books and movies and _why_ they were her favourites. I wanted to know why she liked the types of foods she did and what the hell was in her hair to make it smell so good. I wanted her to tell me why she liked the music she did and I wanted to know all about what raising Marie was like. I wanted to know every single thing about her, no matter how big or miniscule it was. If it was about Bella, I wanted to know it. I would make it my mission to find out everything and anything about Bella. In fact, my mission already started from when she told me about her history with her mother.

We finished eating and walked back to work where we separated ways; me going to my office and her to her desk. It almost felt abnormal for us to go back to our regular roles after such an eye opening lunch.

Hearing everything Bella said at lunch about her and her mother, Renee, just consumed me with the overwhelming urge to protect her. Her past was truly hard and it made me feel guilty for having such an easy childhood and being the one who made her office life a living hell when I first started working for my father, Carlisle. I didn't even fully know why I treated her so much worse than she deserved. It made me feel even more of an ass than before.

Bella was strong, preserving, and just so _good_. I knew I would have to work now to make it up to her. I would be kinder and let myself be closer to her. I wanted to become a good friend to her and then hopefully more. I didn't deserve her. After all Bella had been through, both what she told me and what I had yet to find out, shaped the amazing strong woman she was now. I was nothing compared to her. But I would try.

Office romances were not forbidden, though I knew it wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms by everyone. I didn't care though. And if anyone wouldn't allow me to be with Bella because she was my employee, then, if she somehow felt the same way about me, she could transfer to another department. I didn't want her to before because I was still confused about my feelings and didn't like the thought of not seeing her everyday.

I wasn't completely sure of exactly how strong my feelings were for Bella, but I knew they were strong enough to make me want to be with her. I wanted to change the cold-hearted boy image of me she had in her head, and I think I was doing a good job after today's lunch.

With all these things that I had done to Bella, I was wiping the slate clean and was going to show her I was capable of being the one she could lean on. For everything.

* * *

**BPOV**

"Marie?" I said as I finished washing the dishes and walked into Marie's room where Marie was playing with the miniature tea set Alice bought her for her last birthday.

I had been thinking a lot, and I mean _a lot_, since I had spoken to Edward at lunch and knew what I was going to do next. I hardly got a whole ton of work accomplished over the afternoon since I was lost in my own thoughts. I had contemplated Alice's and Edward's suggestion (for they essentially suggested the same thing) over and over again in my head, trying to find a down side. I couldn't really find one. It made sense and was worth a try. Although I hated to admit it, Edward was good at giving advice. For this, anyway.

Telling Edward all that history about Renee and me, just made this huge weight lift off my shoulders. The relief was so intense. It was like I was choking and telling him was the pressure on my neck being released.

Well, maybe not quite that extreme, but it still felt so much better now that all that was off my back and out in the open with Edward. I was a little unsure about telling Edward about Renee at first. What would he think of me? But I did eventually. His eyes were so reassuring and concerned over me that I almost felt ashamed that I thought he would be disgusted at me. He told me what Alice and Rose told me; that Renee's unhappiness wasn't my fault. But he also told me that lingering over what had been done would not fix it. Only taking action and moving forward could.

Of course he was right, and that was why I really took his words to heart and thought about this whole Marie and Renee thing.

"Yeah, Mommy?" Marie asked, looking up at me.

I smiled at her. "I'm going to go visit your grandma this Saturday as I always do. Do you want to make her a card?"

Marie's writing was good, but writing an entire letter would be boring for her and I wasn't sure if she could handle it. Drawing a picture didn't seem enough, so I figured a card was the best of both worlds. She could illustrate it and make it pretty with her little drawings and stickers, and she could also write a small note inside. It was something to let Renee know Marie was thinking about her without the two actually meeting in person yet.

"A card? For Grandma?" Marie asked, putting down her teacup. She was in love with her tea set. Many evenings she dragged me to her room, even while I moaned like the tired woman I was, to play tea party with her. She was persistent when she wanted you to play something with her. It was one of her more endearing traits.

I nodded. "Come on, pumpkin. Let's go make one." I nodded towards the kitchen and she got up and followed me to the table. I gave her a piece of blank white paper that I had folded in half and she looked down at it.

"What am I supposed to write?" she asked me. I tapped my chin.

"Well, your grandma's sick in the hospital. Is there something you want to say to her while she's sick?"

"I want her to feel better."

"That's a good start," I said, giving her a pencil. "Write down, 'Dear Grandma', first."

"How do you spell 'Grandma'?"

The next hour I helped Marie make her card. In her messy, five-year-old scrawl that was pretty much the standard handwriting for every kindergarten student, she wrote a get well note. It was simple.

"_Get well."_

"_I hope you start to feel better."_

"_Thinking about you."_

You know. All that standard mushy stuff that went into a get well card.

But somehow, coming from a little girl like Marie to her grandma, it just seemed more special than a normal get well card. It had feeling. The decorations and drawings and clumsy colouring showed hard work. In my eyes, it was a thousand times better than if she had just gone to Hallmark and picked out a card and signed her name. This had more meaning.

Marie proudly signed the bottom of the card. Signing it "_Love, Marie"_ rather than the normal "_From, Marie"_ she usually put at the bottom of her cards and handmade things.

I took the card and slipped it into my purse, promising to deliver it to Renee as soon as I entered that hospital. Marie was a little put out that she couldn't give it to her herself, but I assured her that Renee would love it and I would give it to her right away. Saturday was still two days away (it was still Thursday) and Marie was wriggling with anxiousness as she watched me put her card away. I knew she was only acting this excited and nervous because this was the grandma I told her about but she could never meet. It was probably all weird and new for her.

For the rest of the work week, or in other words, all through Friday, my mind would go to the little treasure in my purse and I would feel a little nervous. You may think I was blowing this out of proportion. For God's sake, it was just a card!

But it was more than a card to me.

It was a step forward.

* * *

**A/N: You like? You don't like? Just reminding you to review!**

**I have another book recommendation for you! I was distracted over the weekend because I was busy reading **_**Looking for Alaska**_** by John Green. It was amazing and is now on my top ten favourite books. I have read many, many books and it takes quite a bit to be on my top ten. I wrote more about this book on my LiveJournal, so go read my entry on it (I just wrote it) and comment! Reminder: You don't have to be a registered user on LJ to post a comment.**

**Peace out. **


	15. Broken Strings

**A/N: Hello! I was busy all week preparing for my OSSLT (Ontario Secondary School Literacy Test) which I wrote on Thursday. It's a big written test that MUST be passed by every high school student or else you don't graduate. So I apologize for the wait, but my high school diploma is far more important to me. Fact of life. The results for the test don't come in for a couple of months. I hate waiting :(**

**Anyway, read and enjoy!**

**On with Chapter FIFTEEN!!! **

**

* * *

  
**

_For the rest of the work week, or in other words, all through Friday, my mind would go to the little treasure in my purse and I would feel a little nervous. You may think I was blowing this out of proportion. For God's sake, it was just a card!_

_But it was more than a card to me._

_It was a step forward._

**Chapter 15: Broken Strings**

"Bella, would you quit fidgeting?" Rose said, annoyed as I tapped my fingers on the table top.

"Sorry," I said quickly and slipped my hand off the table and into my lap. A few minutes later, my fingers somehow found their own way back onto the table. I tucked them under me on the seat so I was sitting on them, preventing them from moving, and gave Rose a sheepish smile. She sighed and shook her head.

"You're ready to burst just sitting here, Bells. Go work. What are you doing anyway, sitting around on the job, woman?" she said teasingly. I rolled my eyes and got up to take my place back behind the counter at Starbucks.

I glanced at the clock for the hundredth time in the last few hours. It was still only two o'clock. I still had an hour more until I was supposed to go see Renee.

Yes, I was going to stick to my regular visiting schedule with her despite what just happened. I was worried that it would be too soon, but Dr. Walker said I should just stick to the norm. In Renee's mental state, she could view a sudden lack of visits form me as another form of abandonment.

The door opened and I saw Edward and Emmett walk in, as they did pretty much every Saturday. Although I hated to admit it, Edward was getting less and less annoying to be with. Ever since I spoke to him about Renee earlier that week, we had some sort of cohort thing going on. It was more than friends; it was friends with a secret.

However, that didn't stop him from bugging me.

But the bugging wasn't as bad as before.

Emmett immediately made his way over to Rosalie, kissing her cheek before sitting down next to her. I smiled. The two of them made a really cute couple and I couldn't wait for them to become official. I asked Rosalie about it and she just said, "soon."

Edward walked up to the counter with Beth behind the register. Beth became accustomed to Edward and Emmett coming here on Saturdays.

"Two plain blacks?" she asked, already punching the buttons on the register. He nodded and opened his wallet, handing her the correct amount of cash. I turned around to make his drinks. When I was finished and brought them up to the counter, he was no longer there.

Huh, what?

Beth laughed and pointed to a table where Rose, Emmett, and Edward were all sitting. Edward was staring at me, a smirk on his perfect lips. I rolled my eyes and headed towards them. So now I was their waitress, huh?

I set the two cups of coffee on the table and plopped myself on the seat between Edward and Rosalie. Beth didn't mind as long as I didn't stay for longer than a few minutes.

"I make your damn coffee. I don't deliver it," I said as I pushed his coffee under his nose. Edward's smirk grew, making me want to take a Starbucks napkin and wipe it off his face.

"What's gotten you so edgy?" Emmett asked, looking amused at me as he took a sip of his coffee. I just shrugged and tried not to squirm anymore to no avail. As Emmett and Rose sank deeper into their bubble of lovey affection, I got more fidgety.

I was going to go see Renee in less than an hour. I had the card Marie made for her in my bag and I was going to give it to her. How would she react? I knew she was still shaken from the incident that so recently happened, so would that affect her reaction? I wanted her to like it and I hoped it would motivate her to make some progress, but I knew part of that was wishful thinking. I knew that one card from Marie would hardly motivate her to try. It might help, but it wouldn't change everything.

Maybe she and I needed to… talk. Just talk about things. Before on my visits, we chatted a little bit, but it was more small talk than anything.

And let me tell you, small talk was _evil._ I hated it and hated how if you didn't use it, it seemed rude. I'm not talking to you because I don't like you; it's because there just isn't anything to say. Small talk was the worst.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to face Edward. He removed his hand hesitantly and looked at me, a little concerned.

"What's bothering you, Bella?" he asked, sipping his coffee.

"Uh, nothing." I may have spilled the beans about Renee, but that didn't mean I was going to be an open book and wear my heart on my sleeve. Actually, I might already be doing that considering everyone seemed to be able to read me so easily. Sometimes I felt so exposed when I wasn't even trying. Today was one of those days.

"Bella…" he said, seeing right through me. Odd how he didn't even know me for that long yet he could always tell my emotions. Wait. Open book. Right.

I twisted my fingers in my lap, looking down at them instead of into his eyes. I always found myself distracted if I looked into his eyes. Their colour was amazing. They made my own normal brown eyes feel inferior, which they were.

"I, uh, I took your advice from last Thursday," I said. "About my mom and Marie. Thanks again, by the way."

I glanced up at Edward and saw that he was smiling softly at me. His face was full of some strong emotion that was bubbling right under the surface of his eyes. More so, his face was happy. He was probably happy I actually listened to him (for something non-work-related). I was a bit surprised myself. I knew it wasn't only _his_ advice, Alice and Rose suggesting something along the same lines, but somehow when he said it, it seemed so much more convincing than when my friends did. I didn't know why.

"That's good," he said lightly. "So Marie made a card?"

I nodded. "She did, and she wanted to give it to my mom, Renee, herself, but I said no."

"And you're nervous because of… what? Are you afraid your mother won't accept it?"

I shook my head. "I'm pretty sure she will, I just don't know what to expect with her reaction. She can be very unpredictable at times. I'm just worried about a lot of things right now. I'm hoping it will help her try to make progress but I know it will take more to actually make it all better."

"It takes a lot to recover from most things. You're right. It is going to take more than a card to make this completely better, if _completely_ better is even an option, but if you want it badly enough and are willing to work for it, it will happen."

There was some sort of undertone to his voice, as if he wasn't just speaking about Renee anymore, but I ignored it. Whatever else he was talking about must have been his own personal problem he didn't want to tell me. I didn't blame him. This 'friends' thing with Edward still felt a little weird.

"Um, yeah, I know," I said, looking back down at my hands. "I should get back to work."

I got up to return to my place behind the counter when Edward lightly brushed his hand against mine, making me turn back to look at him. I tried to ignore the tingly feeling I felt when his hand touched me, but it wasn't exactly easy. I also tried to ignore how I wished he grabbed my hand instead of just touching it lightly.

Edward looked up at me and smiled reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Bella." I could tell he didn't want me to worry anymore. It was sweet, really. It made him less of a jerk.

"I know," I murmured and walked back to the counter.

* * *

"So you want to come over for dinner tonight?" Alice asked over the phone as I walked out to my car in the Starbucks parking lot. "I'll order pizza since we all know I can't cook worth shit and Jazz doesn't feel like cooking."

"I'll pass this time, Alice," I said, tossing my bag into the passenger seat and closing the car door as I settled into the driver's side. "I was just planning to get some take out and have a quiet evening with Marie at home. Sorry, I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I got to go. It's time to see Renee now."

"Okay."

"Oh, and I had Marie make a card for Renee," I added casually and calmly. Too bad I wasn't feeling calm at all.

"You did?" I could hear her smiling at me.

"Yup, and I'm going to go give it to her now. I'll see you soon."

We said our goodbyes and I turned on the car, driving to the hospital. All my nervousness was rushing back again and I started having doubts… again. It seemed that every time I actually let myself think about this, the more doubtful I became. I knew I was being foolish and that this was a step forward, but what if it backfired?

_How could it backfire? _A little voice in the back of my head asked me.

_I don't know… she may be offended or something. _I thought back.

_How would she be offended?_

_I don't know!_

I took deep breaths and calmed myself down. I was being paranoid and worried about this for nothing. My mind was making up excuses so I could chicken out of seeing Renee. I shouldn't be afraid to see my own mother and I shouldn't be afraid of giving her a card by her granddaughter.

But I was.

It wasn't fear of being hurt or whatever else is the typical reason of fear, but the fear of making things worse. Of once again tipping over that very delicate balance that is Renee's mentality. I didn't want to rock the boat so to speak.

But I was going to go through with this, despite the over dramatization my mind was making it out to be. Renee needed this. She needed to get better and a daughter who would help her get there, no matter what. She didn't need a daughter who ran when the going got tough. I'd be damned if I ever abandoned Renee again.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot and parked my car. Slinging my handbag over my shoulder I made my way inside. I was reminded that Christmas was only three weeks away as I saw the brightly decorated tree in the lobby of the hospital. I made my way over to the mental ward as I did every Saturday.

The woman at the front desk nodded in greeting at me, recognizing me from all my previous visits. I nodded in return.

"Your mother is in her room right now. Go ahead and see her," she said. Sometimes I had to wait a few minutes if Renee was just finishing off therapy. I wondered if she had started that interpersonal psychotherapy that Dr. Walker talked about to me.

I peeked into the window into her room and saw her, sitting up in bed and reading a book. I remembered bringing her a few books during one of my earlier visits to entertain herself with whenever she was bored.

I felt a pang in my heart when I saw how fragile she looked. All this time I had not looked at Renee so closely before. I never wanted to. Now, after the incident, I really took a look.

Had there always been so much grey in her hair? She was barely 40. There shouldn't have been that much. Had she always been so thin? She looked skinnier than Alice, which was saying something considering Alice's tiny size.

Had she always looked so God damn tired?

I quietly opened the door and stepped inside. Renee's head snapped up and looked at me. Her face stayed calm and blank as she marked the page in her book, closed it, and set it down on the small table next to her bed.

"Hi, Mom," I said casually as I shrugged off my coat. Instead of sitting on a chair like I usually did, I sat down on the side of her bed, my front facing her and my back facing the backside of her bed.

She looked a little surprised by my forwardness, but didn't protest. That had to be a good sign, right? Maybe after feeling abandoned by me, she unconsciously wanted to feel some sort of love and closeness from me. I did want her to know that I cared about her. I was trying to let go of my past resentment, though it wasn't easy. Every time I felt angry or bitter at her, I thought about what _I_ did to _her_, leaving her and never contacting her, and it helped me in trying to overcome it.

Maybe there were things I needed to let go too. Maybe Renee wasn't the only one who needed help in feeling whole again. No, I didn't feel whole. I felt close to it, but not complete. I had Marie, my friends, and while I didn't have a man, I still had love and lots of laughter from my family. But there had always been something missing. Maybe reconciliation with Renee would be just that.

I then felt selfish. I was listing off things like my friends and daughter who filled my life with so many great things and still complaining about not feeling whole.

Well, what did Renee have? She didn't have friends or a loving daughter. She only had a stupid daughter who left her all alone.

"Hi," she said quietly. It hurt to hear how small she sounded. I could tell that the incident was still looming around in her mind. It did in mine too.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, trying to sound light and, well not exactly cheerful, but serene, I guess.

"I've been better," she replied, not looking at me. She didn't sound biting or sharp, but defeated. It was as if she had given up. I knew I couldn't have her give up. Giving up was not an option. It was… it was absolutely not going to happen. I wouldn't let her give up.

"Um, I have something for you," I said, reaching into my bag and taking out Marie's card. Renee looked up and her eyes zeroed in on it in my hand. "Here." I put the card in front of Renee, on her lap.

She blinked at me for a second curiously, and then looked down at the card, picking it up and opening it.

I waited there, fidgeting again. It was silent in the room for a minute or two as Renee stared at the card, reading the short message in there written in a five-year-old's chicken scrawl. Her hand lightly brushed over the picture that Marie had drawn. It was a picture of the three of us standing outside a house. I had no idea where the house came from considering Marie and I lived in an apartment, but the kid was using her imagination.

Marie had asked me what Renee looked like since she had not even seen a picture of her. I told her that Renee looked a lot like me, except with shorter hair and she was obviously older.

Renee's fingers then brushed across Marie's signed name at the bottom.

"She made this for me?" Renee asked, not looking up at me. Her eyes were still glued to the card. I nodded even though she couldn't see.

"Yeah, she did. She was so proud of herself too," I said quietly.

"She knows about me?"

"Yes. I told her about you."

"What does she know?"

"I told her that you're sick and spending some time in the hospital." I paused. "I also told her that she could see you once you got a bit better." Renee's head finally looked up at me when I said the last part. I kept my face calm, not showing her the nervousness I was feeling.

"And when will that be?" she asked, equally calm, but I could tell she could break at any moment. She was that fragile.

"It depends." I shrugged.

"On?"

"On your willingness to get better and how hard you try," I said, my voice getting a little more serious. I needed her to take this more seriously. Renee's healing all depended on Renee. If she didn't want to heal, she never would.

Renee stayed silent for a minute before looking back down at the card and saying softly, "Tell her thank you. It's very nice."

"I will," I said. "She'll be happy to know you like it."

"Did you help her make it?" I wondered why Renee wanted to know.

"Sort of. I just helped her write the message and draw you. She did that rest on her own."

Renee sighed and I wondered why.

"I never did little things like this with you when you were young," she said so softly that I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it. Her voice sounded so sad and almost remorseful that it made me push away a little more of my resentment towards her.

A few minutes of silence passed and I felt squirmier than ever. Did she want me to go? I stared down at my lap, my eyebrows furrowed.

"Why did you leave?" she asked suddenly, looking up at me. I looked back at her and blinked.

"I'm sorry, what do you mean?" I asked. I probably should have known what she meant, but my brain was hardly functioning straight. The tension in the room increased tenfold. I could have sliced it with a knife.

"Why did you leave me? Six years ago?" she said more clearly. I froze.

That was unexpected. I never thought she would come out and ask me something so personal and was such a huge point in my life, in _our_ lives, so soon. I knew I would have to address the issue sooner or later, but never did I think I would have to _now_.

"I… I…" I stumbled. I knew the reason why, but I couldn't just get it out. Was it a good idea to speak about this with her so soon after the incident?

"Just tell me, Bella."

It probably wasn't my best or smartest decision, but I told her. I knew that if I said no and refused to talk about it, Renee would grow angry. Maybe it was good she was so willing to talk about this now. Maybe if we didn't talk about it now, she wouldn't want to talk about it again.

Something also told me that the card fro Marie also had something to do with this. She was probably wondering why I left her and took her unborn grandchild with me, preventing the two from ever meeting.

"I left… because I just couldn't say there any longer," I said, running a hand through my hair. Do I dance around this conversation lightly or do I just be honest? I knew she wouldn't appreciate me sugar coating things because I didn't think she could handle it. I was like her in that way.

"Why not?" she asked, like I expected her to.

"Because it was the last place I wanted to raise a child, Mom."

"You grew up there."

"Yeah, and look how I ended up?" I said a little harsher than I intended. I really needed to learn how to control my temper. I was too fiery for my own good.

I stood up from my seat on her bed and started pacing back and forth in front of her.

"I was barely scraping B's and C's in school, _barely_. I drank all the time. At school, out of school, at home, on the streets with friends and Jacob." I winced when I said his name. I seldom said it out loud and that's why it never got easier despite the fact I didn't love him anymore. I don't think I ever truly did. "I smoked two packs a day and blew all my money on beer and cigarettes. Sometimes I even helped Jacob," wince, "steal from convenience stores. I had a fake ID so I could buy the drinks. Not like it mattered since the guys who sold them didn't give a shit about how old we were, as long as they had business.

"I then get knocked up by my boyfriend who runs for the hills as soon as he hears. Do you really think I wanted that sort of life for any child of mine?"

I was breathing hard as I finished my little mini rant. Renee looked at me, the look in her eyes was one of shame and anger.

"Why didn't you ever come to me?" she asked, the anger and shame mixing into her voice, making it sound odd and strangled.

"You were never there to go to," I said exasperated. I wasn't shouting, but only because I didn't want to make her too upset. Not that I was succeeding in that anyway.

I shook my head and said quieter, my eyes becoming full of tears that I didn't want to shed, "You were never there. Never. Every time you weren't there when I needed you I'd try to convince myself that you still loved me and forgive you for not being there, but it was never enough to make it okay. I always felt alone and hurt."

Renee had looked away from me and looked back, her own eyes shiny with tears she too didn't want to fall. I don't know why, but once the words were out, I couldn't stop them from coming.

"I tried to hold on to thinking that you didn't mean it every time you told me I was a disappointment or every time you came home drunk that you were only doing it for a good reason, but it hurt too much to hold on to that notion. Why else do you think I became such a screwed up kid? I was trying to escape being home." My voice didn't even sound like my own. It was strangled and laced with sadness.

Whenever I talked about my past it was difficult, but this was more so than ever before. I was talking to the one person who was a core part of my pain.

"You never told me or tried to reason with me?" Renee asked, her voice sounding a lot like mine.

I looked away, the tears starting to spill over.

"I couldn't. You broke me." I wanted to go home. I wanted to curl up in my bed and just forget about this. Call me a little kid, but I wanted a mom. I wanted to be one of those women who called their moms for a word of advice and reassurance or just to chat. I had that special mother-daughter relationship with Marie, but this time I wanted to be the daughter inside of the mother. I wanted this relationship with Renee.

But no. We were too broken. Both of us. Throughout my childhood, I found myself loving Renee a little less than before whenever she said I was disappointing, or I came home to see she wasn't there, or I found empty liquor bottles stashed under her bed.

"I felt broken too," she whispered. I turned around and saw she was crying too. "You're not the only one. I was pregnant and my family left me. I had to take care of you and it was hard. I hated always being the one to be responsible for everything. There was no one to take care of _me_ when I needed it. I did love you, but being the caregiver was too much. I wanted a break and you weren't the perfect kid I thought I would raise. Nothing worked out the way I wanted it to. I was too damn tired of always having to be the one to take care of everything; the bills, you, myself."

"Why can't you see that you didn't have a choice?!" I burst, furiously swiping the tears from my face. "You are my mother and I'm your daughter. That will never change. You chose to have me so you had to put up with the responsibilities that came along with having a kid. Don't you think that I have felt sick and tired of being responsible for everything taking care of Marie? Don't you think that at times I _still_ wish for once that someone will take care of me? But I don't go get drunk all the time because I know I have a little girl that needs me!"

The room grew silent then as we stared at each other, both of us crying. I probably shouldn't have gone all off on her like that, but it just came out. All those years' frustrations just came out. I knew there was still much that needed to be said between us, things to discuss and finally move on from, but I could tell she wasn't ready yet. What I said today was enough for now.

"I'm sorry," she said before breaking down into more heaving sobs. I felt my own face crumble and I cried harder. I just couldn't stop crying nowadays, could I?

"I know, Mom," I said through my tears as I came to sit in the chair next to her bed. "I know. I'm sorry too."

We sat like that for a little bit, crying together, but not touching. Just sitting next to each other. For once in my life, I felt like Renee and I were on the same page and that I was seeing a part of her she was exposing to me; a part of her that I had never seen before. A part that was just as scared and vulnerable as I was.

The door opened and in came Dr. Walker.

"Bella, it's good to know you visited. I'm…" he trailed off when he saw our tear streaked faces.

"What happened? Did she go into hysterics?" He quickly came over to Renee's bedside and leaned over her.

"I'm sorry," I said. "We were talking and it got out of hand. We both said things that I think were too soon to be said."

"What did you say?"

"We spoke about… our past. More specifically the rough part of it." I felt embarrassed.

Dr. Walker sighed and rubbed his forehead, thinking hard about something. Checking to make sure Renee was alright, he nodded towards the door, indicating we should speak outside. I followed him into the hallway and l waited for him to speak as he closed Renee's door.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten her so worked up," I said.

He still looked contemplative before speaking. "In a way, yes, it wasn't good for her to get so upset without myself or any other medical personnel nearby to help if she has a panic attack or an episode of hysterics. But it was also a bit good for her."

"Uh, how?"

"She's never opened up much about her past, especially her past with you, in therapy. I'm surprised she spoke so heatedly with you and so willingly. Then again, you _are_ her daughter and the root of her emotions. But also, one would think that would be a reason she would _not_ speak with you." He shrugged and looked through the window of the door at Renee, checking to make sure she was calm again. She was. She leaned back on her pillows, the crying and talking having tired her.

"Try not to be so careless when speaking to her again, but this could also be a little progress. Just be more careful next time you visit," Dr. Walker said. I nodded.

"And Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I can tell that you were upset too. The past is still a sore subject for you as well, right?"

I nodded.

"You're better than Renee, but from your sensitivity to it, I'm thinking you are not fully over it. Sometimes it's not good to keep such pains inside, Bella." What was he? _My_ therapist, now?

"Have you ever spoken to someone about your past? A professional?" he asked.

"No," I said, a little sharp. "I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrows at my defensiveness and said, "You don't have to, but I recommend seeing a therapist. Therapy I think would be beneficial to you. Even if you think you're fine, it could help. With a past like yours, I'm surprised you haven't sought help earlier. Even the strongest of people could use a hand."

I shook my head. "I don't need the help. I'm fine."

He sighed and disappeared down the hall for a minute, coming back with a few business cards and a pamphlet.

"Here," he said, passing them to me. "Just think about it. Both you and Renee are probably holding onto feelings and emotions from your past that are holding you back from healing. Renee is in worse shape than you, but therapy would be good. You don't have to, but as I said, just think about it."

* * *

"Marie, come pick up your doll," I called as I almost tripped on the toy. It was evening, an hour or so before Marie had to go to bed. I didn't tell anyone about what happened with Renee yet. I didn't know if I could just yet. It was painful and almost embarrassing to think about. How could I have let my emotions go like that?

I was 'thinking' about the therapy Dr. Walker suggested, but I knew I didn't want to do it. I was alright. I had been going six years with no professional help, so I must have been fine. True, there were some things from my past, well many things, I was touchy about and still sore, but I could handle it. I could handle anything life threw at me.

The phone rang then. The caller ID said 'Alice'.

"Hey, Alice," I said as I picked up. I tried to put as much cheerfulness in my voice as I could. I was still a little down and very contemplative over my visit with Renee, but I wasn't ready to talk about it. I wouldn't make her suspicious by sounding depressed.

"Bella, you have to come to the hospital," she said, her voice panicked and rushed. I immediately grew worried.

"What? Why? Are you alright? Did something happen to Jasper?" I asked, the panic rising in my own throat. I couldn't handle anything bad happening to my family.

"No we're fine."

"Then what is it?"

"It's Rose," she choked. "She was attacked."

* * *

**A/N: Review! It's nice and longer than usual for ya!**

**Updates may be a **_**tiny**_** bit slow due to a possible health complication. Those who read my other story, AVSWR already know this; I don't know exactly what's wrong, but I'm doing some tests and seeing some specialists to identify the problem. Don't worry, it's highly unlikely it's anything serious. I'm actually seeing someone this week and will probably have my blood tests done then too. I had another test done last Tuesday, which the results hadn't reached me yet for. **

**EDIT: Not a new chapter, sorry. Just fixing a mistake.  
**

**Anyway, review, review, review!**

**Peace out. **


	16. The Trouble With Love Is

**A/N: Hello! Here's your update. Sorry for the cliffy last chapter! Do you think we can make It to 500 reviews this chapter? More than 500 reviews? I think we can so don't forget to review once you're done reading!**

**On with Chapter SIXTEEN!!!**

**

* * *

**"_What? Why? Are you alright? Did something happen to Jasper?" I asked, the panic rising in my own throat. I couldn't handle anything bad happening to my family._

"_No we're fine."_

"_Then what is it?"_

"_It's Rose," she choked. "She was attacked."_

**Chapter 16: The Trouble With Love Is**

My throat closed up and I almost dropped the phone.

What?

"What did you say, Ali?" I asked. I heard her properly the first time, but I still couldn't comprehend it. Rose… attacked? But Rosalie was our tough girl. Was she hurt badly? When exactly did it happen? Was I the last one to know?

"Rose was attacked," Alice repeated shakily. "Not that long ago. That guy from that ice cream place you like so much, um, Seth, saved her. Him and his friends."

"Seth?"

"Yeah. Please, Bella, can you just get to the hospital? I don't want to explain everything over the phone." Alice hardly ever lost her composure and right now she sounded nervous and on edge. That couldn't be a good sign.

"I'll be right there," I said quickly. I hung up the phone and went into Marie's room. I didn't want to take Marie with me, but there was no way I could find a willing sitter this late on a Sunday. Not to mention that all the people who would be willing to take her were probably all at the hospital already, worried over Rose.

"Marie," I said, stepping inside her room. She was already in her pajamas and sitting on the floor, playing with something. She looked up at me, waiting for me to speak. "We need to go to the hospital."

She stood up. "To see Grandma?"

I shook my head. "We're going to see Auntie Rosie. She got hurt."

"Is she gonna be okay?"

Was she going to be okay? Alice didn't tell me much over the phone, so the honest answer was that I didn't know. But Marie was a sensitive kid at times. She was a softie at heart and I didn't want to make her upset or worried. "I'm sure she'll be okay," I said. "Rose is a tough cookie."

I had her stay in her pajamas since by the time we got home I was willing to bet she would be too tired to change again. Making sure Marie had her coat and shoes on, I drove to the hospital faster than I would normally drive. Usually I was very law abiding, but this was a special exception.

Alice was waiting for me in the lobby of the hospital, rushing up to me as soon as she saw Marie and I come through the doors.

"Alice, where's Jasper?" I asked. It was a little weird that the first thing out of my mouth when going to the hospital to see Rose was 'where's Jasper' but it was unusual for the two of them to be apart when they weren't at work.

"He's with Rose and his parents," she said. "Come on, I'll take you to her."

"Alice, please tell me what happened."

"I'll explain everything while we wait for Jazz and his parents to come out of Rose's room."

I picked up Marie, who already looked tired, and followed Alice to where Rose's room was. She stopped in the waiting room and sat down, rubbing her face with her hands. I set Marie down and motioned for her to go play with some of the children's toys in a corner of the waiting room. I sat beside Alice, waiting rather impatiently for an explanation.

Alice looked up and said, "Rose was on her way to that dinner she was invited to. Remember, the one for a coworker's birthday?" I nodded and she continued. "She was walking since the place was only a few blocks away from her apartment. It was getting dark and she really shouldn't have walked, but you know Rose. She's reckless and thinks she can handle anything.

"I don't know the exact details, but somehow a man managed to get her alone, probably by force, and… attacked her."

"Just a random man?"

Alice swallowed and shook her head. "It was… Royce. Royce King."

My eyes widened. Her ex-boyfriend, Royce King? The one who had been practically stalking her ever since their break up months ago?

Red filled my vision as I thought of that bastard. He obviously deluded himself into thinking he could still have Rose. I honestly didn't know what Rosalie had ever seen in him. He only dated her because of her looks, not for who she really was. In fact, he tried to change who she was. He hated how she loved to mess with cars liked to play baseball. I never liked him and now I hated him even more.

"Fuck," I muttered more to myself. I rarely swore out loud, breaking the habit after having Marie, but these were one of those times that called for it. "Stalking her was one thing but this…" My jaw tightened. "His ass better be thrown in jail for this."

"You bet," Alice said. "The police have him right now and are probably talking to him, though once my lawyers are done with him; he'll be paying a hell bit time for two types of assault and stalking."

"Two types of assault?" I said. Well the physical assault was obvious. When you attack someone you use brute force. But what of the other kind?

Then I realized it. My brain must have been slow with fatigue to not realize it sooner. If your violent ex-boyfriend was attacking you, what would he probably try to do? Especially one as vicious as Royce.

"Ali, did he… rape her?" I asked in a shaky whisper.

Alice's tiny hands tightened into fists. "Sort of…" she said, just thinking about it making her angry. Hell, I was pissed myself.

"What do you mean?"

"He tried, and managed to… get inside of her, but as soon as he did, Seth and his friends found them and managed to get him away from her. They said they could hear her screams. He was really only inside of her for a split second."

It was good to know that Royce wasn't able to finish what he started, but he still sexually assaulted her. He was a monster. I pushed the thought of his hands on her before I lost my temper.

"So how bad is Rose?" I asked, the concern started to resurface and bury the anger. For now.

"The doctors say she'll be okay. She has some scrapes and some bruises which will show up in the morning, most of them from the sexual assault. Emotionally though, she's not in the best condition, not that I blame her. She get's nervous when a man who isn't family, like Jazz and her uncle, John, get's too close to her. She wouldn't let the male doctor get near to her or the male police officer."

"Oh, Rose…" I murmured.

"The doctor says it's completely normal considering a man just sexually assaulted her. She's bound to have a little anxiety when it comes to men, but hopefully it will subside soon."

I nodded then suddenly remembered someone. "Did you call Emmett and tell him about Rose?"

Alice's face scrunched up in confusion. "Emmett?"

"Emmett Cullen. You've met him before." I remembered Rosalie bringing him with her to Alice and Jasper's Halloween party.

"Emmett Cullen? So there _is_ something between them?" Shoot. I blew their cover.

"Huh, what?"

"Why would I need to call him if there wasn't anything between him and Rose?" Alice raised a delicate eyebrow and for a second, I felt like we were sitting at the kitchen table at home, laughing and gossiping. Alice trying to pry information out of me was not a new thing. "Are they dating?"

I figured now was as good a time as any to just tell Alice the truth. She pretty much already knew anyway. "Yeah, and I'm pretty sure it's exclusive though I'm not positive."

"I won't give her a hard time because of what just happened, but I expect explanations later."

I almost laughed, Alice sounded so normal right there. Almost.

Marie came over to me and crawled on my lap, yawning. Alice reached over and ruffled her curls as she laid her head down on my shoulder, ready to go to sleep. "Poor thing," Alice said quietly. "She's so tired."

"I know," I said, lightly blowing a curl from my face. "I didn't want to bring her here but no one would be willing to keep her at such late notice, especially on a school night."

After a few minutes of silence, Jasper, John, and Heather came into the waiting room, all looking a mix of concern for Rose and anger at her attacker. I probably looked the same. How anyone could think that they had the right to try and rape another person was beyond me. It was utterly disgusting. I felt the waves of hatred come over me again as I thought about Royce. Taking a deep breath, I pushed it back again.

"Hi, Bella," Heather said quietly, sitting in the seat beside me. John sat down beside her and Jasper sat with Alice.

"Hi," I said. "How is Rose?"

"She hasn't changed. Did Alice fill you in?" I nodded. "It hasn't been that long since the attack, so she needs time. She refuses to go to sleep. She doesn't want to." Heather sighed and John took her hand in his own.

"Can I go see her?" I asked.

"I think she'd like that. She was asking where you were."

I handed a sleeping Marie to Alice, reminding her to somehow get a hold of Emmett, and then went up to a nurse, asking to see Rosalie. On the way to her room, I saw Seth and a small group of very tall, muscular men. They all looked Aboriginal like Seth.

"Seth," I said. He turned around.

"Hi, Bella. You're here to see your friend, right?" he said walking over to me, his pack of friends following him.

"Yes. Alice told me you guys are the ones who saved her. Thank you. I can't imagine what would have happened if you didn't find her. "

He shrugged. "It was the right thing to do. Besides, I recognized her as one of those friends of yours that you talk about so much. You brought her around to the ice cream shop once before. Even if I didn't recognize her, I would have still helped. Anyway, we just finished talking to the police. I'll see you around and I hope your friend get's better soon. Say hi for Marie for me, okay?"

I nodded. "Sure. You're going to show up for the trial, right?"

"Of course. But that won't be for a while. Bye, Bella."

"Bye." I turned around to the nurse who was waiting impatiently and apologized. "Sorry." She just turned around and continued leading the way to Rosalie's room.

We stopped outside a door and the nurse opened it, allowing me to go in. When I saw Rose inside, my heart pretty much broke. She was sitting on the bed, changed into a hospital gown and I could tell she was hating every minute of wearing that thing. Her knees were tucked to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She had a swollen eye that no doubt would by black by tomorrow morning and several scrapes; most of them had little bandages on them. A few bruises were already starting to show and there were some vicious looking _bite_ marks on her neck. There was even the imprint of fingers on her forearm. This didn't look like the rough and tough Rose I knew. This woman looked hurt and afraid.

Her head snapped up when I came in and her eyes, which were afraid, turned a little calmer.

"Hey, Rose," I said, walking in and sitting down in the chair beside her bed. "You're in here alone?"

She shrugged. "The doctor went somewhere to file something, I don't know. I'm not hurt that bad but they want me to stay the night anyway, just in case," she said quietly. I nodded, not sure what to say next. She looked so vulnerable. Rosalie turned to look at me, resting her head on top of her knees.

"I just want to go home, Bella," she whispered.

"Rosalie," I said, getting up from the chair and gently wrapping my arms around her. "You of all people did not deserve this."

"No one deserves to be attacked," she mumbled into my shoulder. She then sighed. "I feel like shit. I can't believe how stupid I was for letting this happen." Her voice cracked. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm making everyone worried over me. I don't know how I could have messed up so bad. With all the phone calls and stalking, I should have known he would come for me sooner or later."

I lightly rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. "It wasn't your fault, Rose. You didn't ask for this to happen."

"I just date the bastards, don't I?"

I sat down next to her on the bed and mimicked her position with my knees tucked up and my arms wrapped around them. "Not like my choice in men has been much better. Jake was a Grade A asshole, remember? Marie is the only good thing that came out of that relationship," I said.

Rosalie rested her head on my shoulder and I gingerly laid my head down on top of hers. "Yeah, well I guess that's what the trouble with love is: it's blinding," she mumbled.

"That, or we just tend to choose the jerks. We just need a finer taste in men," I said. We sat there silently for about five minutes before I got up and patted her pillow. "You should try to go to sleep, Rose. You're exhausted."

She shook her head violently. "I can't," she whispered. "Every time I close my eyes I see _his_ face leaning over me. I don't want to see that face ever again." Her voice became even quieter. "He made me more scared than I had ever been in my life. Whenever I close my eyes and see his face, I feel that fear again. I don't want to feel that way, Bella." A single tear slipped out of her eye and down her cheek. She sounded so shaken. "I didn't get to thank that ice cream guy. The one who saved me with his friends. Can you thank him for me?"

I smoothed her golden blonde hair. "I already did. I ran in to him while coming to your room."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Is Marie here?"

"Yeah. I didn't have anyone to take her, so I just brought her with me. She's sleeping though. Poor baby has school tomorrow. I have work. If you want I can take the day off and spend it with you."

"No, it's alright. Aunt Heather is going to be with me all day tomorrow. I'm not really hurt that bad and since he didn't… finish the job when, you know, it happened, I can go home then. But I will need to speak to the police. They didn't push too hard for details right now, but I'll have to tell them everything soon. Might as well get it over with tomorrow."

"You sure you can handle it?"

"I hope so." Rose was always so sure of herself. Her confidence was lacking now though.

The door than opened and a nurse poked her head inside. "Miss Hale?"

Rosalie looked up. "Yeah?"

"An 'Emmett Cullen' is here. He says he's your boyfriend and keeps insisting he must see you. He won't go away." My heart warmed a little at Emmett's determination. He truly cared about her. "Do you want to see him?"

Rosalie was silent for a few seconds before nodding. "Yeah, I'll see him."

The nurse stepped aside and Emmett, big, tall, and wrestler-like as ever, rushed in looking frantic. His eyes zeroed in on Rosalie sitting so vulnerable on the bed and they immediately softened. The guy had a rough looking exterior, but I knew inside he was a loving man.

He walked up to her and I noticed Rose's eyes getting a little panicky. Not much, but it was there. I remembered that Alice told me she got a little nervous around men outside her family. That made me worry; would Emmett get through to her? "Rosie," he said, rushing up to her.

He moved to hug her, but Rose automatically backed up and flinched away from him. Emmett looked hurt and my heart went out to him. I would hate for someone I cared about to flinch away form me like I was going to hurt them.

"Emmett, can I speak to you outside for a minute?" I asked, motioning out to the hallway. He nodded and stepped outside, but not before sending Rose a longing glance.

I closed the door and turned to Emmett. "How much do you know?" I asked him.

He scratched the back of his head, continuously glancing at the closed door. "Um, your friend, Alice, told me that she was attacked and sexually assaulted-" his eyes narrowed when he said the sexually assaulted part, "- and that she was here. I don't have a lot of information other than she wasn't hurt _too_ bad." I noticed his hands were clenched into tight fists. The tendons were sticking out.

"Okay, but just to warn you, she get's a little nervous around men who aren't family. The doctor said it's a natural reaction to being sexually assaulted and Rosalie isn't too bad, so it will fade away hopefully soon, but be careful around her. I don't know if you count as one of those special 'family men' or not, but just be careful. If she shies away from you, don't take it personally. It's probably just an automatic reaction."

Emmett nodded. I could tell he was both concerned for Rosalie and also pissed as hell over the man who did this to her. I doubted he knew yet that it was her stalker ex-boyfriend who did.

I let him go back into the room and watched him sit in the chair, a good amount of space away form her bed. I watched through the door window, seeing Rosalie curl up into a tighter ball, for a moment before turning away to give them privacy. I stayed out in the hall though in case Rose needed me. I trusted Emmett, but I didn't trust Rose's worn nerves right now.

"Hey, Bella," a familiar velvety voice said. I jumped at the sudden sound coming out of no where.

I turned around and saw Edward standing there, looking amused at my jump no doubt, but also worried. He must have come here with his brother.

"Crap, Edward, you scared me," I said.

"Sorry," he said, not sounding the least bit apologetic. "How is Rosalie? I know she means a lot to Emmett. We were driving home form our parents' place when we got the call. That's how we got here so fast."

"She's going to be okay but her nerves are jumpy, especially around guys, which is to be expected according to the doctor," I replied. "It's good to know Emmett cares so much about her. Her history with men hasn't been promising."

"What do you mean?"

"Her ex-boyfriend did this to her," I said, the venom dripping into my voice thinking about Royce more than I had to. I sighed. "We both made terrible choices when it came to men."

"_We?"_ He raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Well my last long-term relationship gave me a kid with no father, but that's in the past," I said shortly. It still hurt to think too much about Jacob.

"Sometimes love causes you to make stupid choices," Edward said sympathetically. I wondered if he had any heartbreaks before. He looked like the heartbreak_er_ not the poor victim.

I nodded agreeing. "Definitely stupid choices. Royce, the bastard who attacked her, isn't the only guy in Rose's dating history that mistreated her or broke her heart from what she's told me and from what I've seen. Never as bad as this before, but I'm just concerned for her. What if she keeps making these stupid choices? At least _my_ biggest failure of a boyfriend didn't try to rape me." _He just ripped my heart out._

But I really was worried about this. Rose was never very successful with men and though it never went this far before, what if she kept making the wrong decisions?

Edward put his hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture and I relaxed a tiny bit. Something about his touch just made me feel a little better.

"I think she already made the right decision this time around," he said, nodding at the door window. I looked inside and saw Rosalie still curled up in her ball, but this time she was in Emmett lap as he sat on the bed, his long legs spread out across the bed and his arms wrapped protectively around her. The scene was so intimate I had to look away.

I turned back to Edward and he smiled at me. I gave him a small smile in return.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand. It made tingles go up my arm. "I saw Marie in the waiting room sleeping. Let's take her off your friend's hands and go get some coffee from the cafeteria." He glanced back at the window of the door to Rosalie's room. "I think Rosalie will be fine."

* * *

**A/N: Review? Thanks :)**

**Since my profile was getting long, I made a website to put everything in as well as ways to contact me and a little about me as a person in case you'd like to know me better, :). I set the website up as my homepage. Go check it out! And review!**

**Peace out.**


	17. How Far We've Come

**A/N: Here you go. More apologies for the late update at the bottom.**

**On with Chapter SEVENTEEN!!!**

**

* * *

**_I turned back to Edward and he smiled at me. I gave him a small smile in return. _

"_Come on," he said, taking my hand. It made tingles go up my arm. "I saw Marie in the waiting room sleeping. Let's take her off your friend's hands and go get some coffee from the cafeteria." He glanced back at the window of the door to Rosalie's room. "I think Rosalie will be fine."_

**Chapter 17: How Far We've Come**

I walked back to the waiting room, Edward following closely behind me. His… familiarity with me was a little nerve wracking, I'll admit, but at the same time it was comforting. It was hard to understand and it was confusing, but my body welcomed it.

I know it's a rule, even if not always enforced, that you should _never_ become involved with your boss, and I thought it was such an easy rule to follow, but I was mistaken. It's not an easy rule to follow, not when your boss is Edward Cullen.

No, I wasn't in love with him or any of that, but my feelings for him where starting to leave friendship. I knew for sure I know longer hated him, I don't think I ever truly did. There was something else though now. Some other kind of feeling that was starting to form. I knew it wasn't right, but I couldn't control it, especially not now when he was being so nice me. When he was being so kind. It really made me forget his negative attributes.

I was just realizing this as Edward held my hand. He hadn't let go even though I was walking slightly ahead of him. I wondered what he was thinking about.

I let go of his hand as I went up to Alice, Marie still sleeping in her arms. I tried to ignore the cold feeling my hand felt.

She smiled weakly at me. "Is Emmett with her now?" she asked. I nodded. She looked behind me at Edward and smiled. "Hi. Edward, right? It was sweet of you to come too." Edward scratched the back of his head and shrugged.

I reached for my daughter and Alice gently handed her to me, careful to not disturb her sleep.

"Edward and I are just going to go grab some coffee from the cafeteria," I said, positioning Marie comfortably with her head on my shoulder. She stirred a little, but didn't wake up. "Do you want to come?"

Alice glanced at Edward then back at me before saying, "No thanks. I'll stick around here for a little longer. Do you know when you'll be going home?"

I shook my head. "We won't be staying here all night, I doubt I'm even allowed to, but we'll stay another hour. Marie should be sleeping in her bed at home, not here."

Alice nodded and I started walking towards the cafeteria, Edward was no longer walking behind me, but beside me now. I suddenly remembered that Renee was in the mental ward of this hospital and wondered if I should pay her a visit, but decided against it. She was probably tired and was going to sleep if she wasn't already asleep. I sighed and lightly kissed the top of Marie's curly head.

The walk was silent, but not uncomfortably so. When we reached the cafeteria, Edward told me to sit at a table while he bought the coffee. I didn't argue like I probably would have about him buying me something. I was too worn out for it. The cafeteria was pretty empty except for a few people scattered at different tables. One man and two women. They all looked worried and tired. I felt the same.

Edward came back with two steaming cups of coffee and set one down in front of me as he took the seat across from mine. I murmured my thanks as I picked it up with one hand simply took comfort in the warmth before taking a sip.

I kept my eyes on the table as a few silent minutes went past. So much had happened in the past little while that I was just _so_ tired. Someone my age shouldn't have to deal with this much… distress. But oh well. I just wanted to curl up in my bed loose myself in a good book and some hot chocolate. Coffee was close enough, I guess.

"So, how are you holding up?" Edward asked.

I looked up to him and saw he was looking at me, concern evident in his eyes.

I gave him a small, probably unconvincing smile. "I'm okay. Just tired."

He looked suspiciously at me, knowing I wasn't saying the full extent of how I was really doing. "I'm not surprised. You've had a lot to deal with in the past few days."

I didn't answer as I gently started stroking Marie's hair, staring into space. It was true; I did have a lot to deal with in the past few days. It wasn't easy and I wasn't enjoying it, but hey, when things reach rock bottom, the only direction to go is up, isn't it? I was pretty sure considering the crappy situation with Rose and Renee and whatever couldn't get much worse. In fact, things with Renee were looking a little better.

"Bella?"

My eyes snapped to Edward's face when I realized he had been talking to me. I looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry," I apologized. "A lot is on my mind right now."

"Did you want to talk about it?"

His eyes and voice were so sincere, for a second I felt… like I was taken care of instead of being the one taking care of someone else. It felt nice, even if only for a second.

I was still getting used to being more open with Edward, but I was trying. I wasn't accustomed to spilling the beans about my life to anyone outside my very close circle of friends. But Edward already knew more than anyone else who wasn't Jasper, Alice, or Rose and he's been kind to me about it so far. I was starting to feel like I could really trust him in knowing about me.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Well, what do you feel comfortable with telling me? You shouldn't talk to me just because I want you to."

I shook my head. "I'm not," I said truthfully. "I just wouldn't know where to start."

"How is your mother doing?" he asked.

I remembered he knew all about Renee now, which made it a little easier to talk about her. "When I saw her, she was pretty much the same; quiet, tired looking." I paused. "Although she did look more sad. She's dealing with quite a bit herself. Oh, and I gave her the card Marie made for her."

"How did that go?"

I wasn't sure whether to smile or grimace. True, that afternoon Renee and I had gotten a few frustrations out instead of always avoiding the subject, but it wasn't exactly done in the most calm of ways. It ended in both of us in heavy tears, which I don't think was best for her mental health, though Dr. Walker said it did do some good for her to open up a bit. And then to top it off, he decided I should go the therapy. Wasn't Renee the one with mental problems? Why did _I_ need to see a therapist?

But I already knew why I needed therapy. I just didn't agree with it.

"It went… productively," I finally said. Yes, that sounded right. To me, at least. To Edward, it probably sounded strange.

"Productively?"

I took a sip of my coffee. "Yes. I think so anyway. It allowed for the two of us to… get a few things out of the way, though I know it will probably be brought up again since it there's still a lot that needs to be said between us." Could that been anymore vague? Oh well.

The ends of my mouth slightly dipped down as I remembered the therapy suggestion again. I wasn't that much of mess that I needed to spill my problems with a nosy person sitting behind a desk. Would I have to do that thing where the patient lies down on a leather couch/bed and tells the doctor what a certain ink blot looks like? Oh God, I hoped not.

Besides, wasn't it some philosopher's belief that psychology was wrong? That insanity could be a good thing? Not that I was insane, but same say that psychiatric care is wrong because tells us what's mentally healthy. Tells us how we should act, what we should say, how we should deal with problems. It gets rid of insanity. But without insanity, people like Vincent van Gogh wouldn't have painted those gorgeous portraits.

Then again, _with_ insanity, we also have crazy serial killers and guys who cut off part of their left ear lobes and give them to prostitutes named Rachel. Wait, that was van Gogh again. So there was a down side to mental instability, but that didn't mean I needed therapy. I was far from the poor mentality of Renee or van Gogh.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, his voice was full of concern and it warmed my heart a little.

I shrugged in response. That answer obviously didn't satisfy him as he gently put his fingers under my chin and lifted my head until I was looking at him. His brilliant green eyes shown beautifully, even under the hospital lighting of the cafeteria.

"What's wrong?" he repeated, removing his hand from under my chin.

Sometimes it was easier to talk to a stranger. Edward definitely wasn't a stranger, but he didn't know me as well as Alice or Rose. That may change later on depending on this coworker friendship thing we had going on, but for now, he was easier to talk to since he didn't know enough about me to tell me if I should go or not. Which was perfect. I didn't want to be told if I should get the therapy or if I shouldn't. I wanted to talk.

"My mother's doctor suggested I get therapy too," I said quietly, still looking into his eyes.

He looked a little surprised, then contemplative. If he was seriously thinking of telling me to go, I would give him an earful. It was getting late, I was tired, and he had no right to tell me what I should do. Well, no one had that right, but some had more of an influence on me than others.

He tilted his head slightly to the side. "Do _you _think you should?" he asked.

"No," I responded without hesitiation. I had been going my entire life without the advice of a 'professional'.

"Why not?" I raised my eyebrows at his curiousity and he quickly said, "I'm not trying to pry and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Bella. I'm just wondering." He smiled. "Friends can wonder about friends, right?"

The corner of my mouth twitched. He was always throwing that friends thing around, almost as if he was reminding me, or maybe reminding himself, that we were just friends. I didn't like the way my stomach had a sort of sinking feeling at that.

I ignored the feeling. "Depends on what you're wondering about," I said back to him, but gave him a small smile to let him know I was only teasing. "I don't think I should go to therapy because I honestly don't think I need it." I paused.

"Go on."

"I've gone my entire life without any therapy and I'm just fine as I am right now. I mean look how far we've, Marie and I, have come. I just don't think it will do anything because I'm fine."

"Are you?"

I narrowed my eyes at Edward. Was _he_ playing therapist all of a sudden? "Yes, I'm fine. I have good jobs, a home, a child, friends, and enough money to support myself and my daughter with food and clothes. What more could I want?"

"Closure."

I sighed. "Don't push me, Edward, I'm quite irritable tonight," I warned, only half joking.

He chuckled softly and then looked at me more seriously for a few seconds. "So you don't want _anything_ more in your life? You have everything you could possibly need already? You're set for life?"

I thought for a minute, biting down gently on my bottom lip. Was I set for life? Did I have everything I ever wanted and would I not need anything more until the day I died? Well, hopefully that wouldn't be for a long time, so I couldn't say. What if something came up? What if something unexpected happened? Well, either way, I wouldn't need damn therapy.

I looked back to Edward and his gaze was trained on my bottom lip where my teeth were biting. Uncomfortable, I quickly stopped biting and his eyes snapped up to meet my own. That was odd. "Well, for now I'm okay. I can't say anything for the future though."

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. "Well, I can't say I can relate with you. I know there _is_ something I want, but don't have yet."

I inwardly rolled my eyes. You would think Edward's life as an 'upperclassman' would be pretty filling, but I guess there would always be something more he's want. Oh, the life of the wealthy.

"And what is it that you want?" I asked.

"You'll find out eventually."

I rolled my eyes, not inwardly this time, and Edward chuckled. A minute went by in silence when Edward's face turned more curious. What did he want now?

"What?"

"Earlier you said you never had help your entire life. I was just wondering what your 'entire life' was like."

I snorted. "A lot different than yours I bet, Rich Boy."

He laughed before saying, "Very different." He then frowned slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"My childhood, I'm willing to admit, was a pretty normal one. Normal for the son of a wealthy man and his wife, anyway. From the time Carlisle and Esme took me in and-"

"Took you in?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, I was adopted. Emmett was too. My mother, Esme, can't have children of her own; she's infertile. So they adopted Emmett and then a couple of years later, they adopted me. I was two at the time." Huh, well, that was something I didn't know. I knew Carlisle Cullen had a wife and two adult sons, but I had no idea they weren't his biological children.

Did Edward's biological father voluntarily leave him like mine left me? Or did he not even know Edward existed? My heart hurt a little thinking about fathers. I wanted one.

Maybe that's something I wanted in my life. A normal family. I'd even take an adopted family like Edward's. At least they loved him. I cuddled myself a little closer to Marie who was still sleeping away in my arms.

"What was it like? Growing up, I mean," I asked.

"What do you mean?" Edward looked confused.

"I mean with a mom, dad, brother, and what was probably a huge house, possibly in the suburbs."

He scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I haven't ever experienced any other way to grow up, but it was great, I guess. I enjoyed being a kid and my parents were, and still are, very loving and just the best two people I can think of." He looked genuinely happy thinking of his parents. I wished I could do the same.

"I guess they set the bar high for parents everywhere?" I said teasingly.

Edward smiled at me. "I'm sure you could rival them," he said. I laughed quietly, as to not wake up Marie.

"You wouldn't know that, Edward. Besides, Marie may not be a baby anymore, but I'm still rather new at this."

"I'm sure you're a fantastic mother. Marie adores you." Marie shifted in my arms, subconsciously trying to get more comfortable. Edward looked at her and his eyes visibly softened. It was cute that he was such a softie for kids. "Maybe you should be going home now. I'm sure Marie would sleep much better in her own bed"

I nodded and stood up. "Thank you, Edward."

"What for?"

I smiled at him. "For talking. It was nice talking to you."

He put his hand on the small of my back as we started walking back to the waiting room. "You know you can come to talk to me about anything, right?" I nodded. "Good, because I'll always be around to listen." His words warmed me to the core.

We made it back to the waiting room, his hand on my back the entire time, to see Heather and John gone, but Alice still there.

"Hey," she said, looking up from her chair. Her eyes looked at Edward's hand on my back, but thankfully didn't day anything. I'm sure she's noticed our closeness the entire night, starting from when he and Emmett arrived, and I knew she was probably going to question me about it later. I hope she wouldn't include it in her 'Bella needs a man' scheme.

"Heather and John went home," she said. "And Jasper is currently outside Rosalie's room fighting with," she pointed to Edward, "_your_ brother on who should stay the night with Rose. The hospital won't allow more than one person and Jazz doesn't trust a man he didn't even know was dating Rose to be with her all night."

Jasper always thought of Rosalie as his sister even though they were cousins, so he was quite protective. I didn't blame him this time with Emmett though. If a huge, muscular guy I had only met once before, who I didn't know had been dating my sister, wanted to spend the night with her, I wouldn't be pleased either.

Jasper suddenly came in then, looking displeased. I guess he lost the fight.

"Rose herself spoke up and said she wanted him to stay with her. I can't fight with want she wants, especially not right now," he sighed, locks of his shaggy blond hair flopping in front of his eyes. Alice giggled and took Jasper's hand soothingly. He looked so grumpy I tried to suppress a smile myself.

"We're going to take off. You leaving too, Bells?" Alice asked me.

"I'm going to go quickly say goodbye to Rose and then I'll leave," I replied. Alice nodded and pulled Jasper away. I nodded at Edward and started heading towards Rose's room. I stopped and noticed Edward was following me. I looked at him questioningly.

"I have to tell Emmett I'm leaving and taking the car with me," he said. "I'll pick him up early tomorrow morning."

I considered offering Edward a ride home, but then decided against it. I didn't know where he lived and Marie really shouldn't be out of bed for any longer than she had to be.

We made it to Rosalie's room and I knocked softly. A second later the door opened to reveal Emmett there, looking tired but on guard. I think he was half expecting Jasper to be back to argue more. When he saw it was me, he relaxed.

"Hey, can I say bye to Rose?" I asked, not really thinking I needed permission from him, but asking anyway.

Emmett nodded, not at all like the playful bear I was used to seeing every other time I had seen him and moved out of the way for me to go inside the room. He then stepped outside to talk with Edward.

Rosalie was still awake and sitting, her legs slightly bent in front of her.

"Hi," I said quietly, standing next to her bed where she sat. "I'm going to be taking off now. Marie needs to sleep in her bed and I have work tomorrow. I'll call you though, okay?" She nodded, reaching out and lightly smoothing a wrinkle in Marie's sleeve. "What time are you going to talk to the police?"

"I don't know for sure," she said. "Probably late morning. Whenever I get out of here."

"Okay, I'll call you in the afternoon."

"I'll be out of the hospital since I'm not really hurt that bad, but I'll be staying with Aunt Heather and Uncle John for the next two or three days because they're really worried over me," she said. Most of her injuries were bruises and scrapes. Nothing that needed stitches, thankfully. As for the sexual part of Royce King's attack, since he was only in her for split second, the damage wasn't nearly as bad as it would've been if he finished the rape. I wouldn't be able to thank Seth and his friends enough for being there when they were.

"Then I'll call Heather's house. I have to go now. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'll probably visit after work too, if you want me to." She nodded.

"I want you to." I hated how un-Rosalie-like she sounded, but let it go and kissed the top of her blonde head.

"Bye," I said, leaving the room.

I met Emmett and Edward outside in the hall, Emmett said goodnight before going back inside to be with Rose and Edward took my hand again to head outside to the parking lot. We didn't say much, which was fine.

He walked me to my car and watched as I strapped Marie in her car seat. I closed her door and opened my own on the driver's side. I turned to Edward before getting inside and said, "Thanks for coming tonight, Edward."

He smiled. "It was no problem, Bella. Drive safe, okay?"

I nodded and turned to get inside the car. Edward then touched my shoulder and I turned back around to face him. He had stepped closer to me and was looking indecisive. Over what, I didn't know. His eyes darted down to my lips and I tried not to blush. What was he doing?

"What?" I asked.

He still looked unsure as his eyes looked down at my lips again. He leaned a little forward and I almost stopped breathing. Was he doing what I thought he was doing?

He closed the rest of the distance between us, but instead of going for where his eyes kept darting to, he left a very light kiss on my forehead. My eyes widened a little. I knew I was expecting something different, but the gesture was so kind and comforting. It was even a bit intimate. I'm sure that was _not_ what your boss would normally do to his or her employees, but I could care less. I liked the way it felt. It comforted me.

He stepped back and turned to walk away. I shook my head, as if in a daze, and got in my car.

* * *

**A/N: Review, please. I know I don't deserve it, but I'm asking anyway. Please? This chapter was not very exciting, but next should have more plot progression.**

**I know I'm incredibly late in posting this, and I'm sorry. Microsoft Word is being difficult. Typing this was a total bitch since Word wouldn't stop freezing and errors kept happening. This chapter is also sloppy because I've been having head splitting migraines and headaches lately because of the fluctuating weather. I apologize for the poor work.**

**I understand if you're frustrated with me, but please review. If you're a reader of my other story, AVSWR, please be patient. I'm trying to work on the chapter and also fix my Word program since it's still freezing up all the time. I usually work at night, but I've been going to bed early because of how poorly I've been feeling, so patience is what I'm asking for. Thanks. **

**Peace out.**


	18. Tongue Tied

**A/N: Thank you for all your fabulous reviews! Don't forget to review and happy reading!**

**On with Chapter EIGHTEEN!!!**

**

* * *

**

_He closed the rest of the distance between us, but instead of going for where his eyes kept darting to, he left a very light kiss on my forehead. My eyes widened a little. I knew I was expecting something different, but the gesture was so kind and comforting. It was even a bit intimate. I'm sure that was not what your boss would normally do to his or her employees, but I could care less. I liked the way it felt. It comforted me. _

_He stepped back and turned to walk away. I shook my head, as if in a daze, and got in my car._

**Chapter 18: Tongue Tied**

"Hey, Heather," I said as I stepped through the doorway into her and John's house. It was Monday evening and as I said the other day, I was going to see Rosalie, who was staying with her aunt and uncle for the weekend. I brought Marie with me since I knew Rose probably would've wanted to see her.

That, and I had no one to look after her. Heh.

"Hi, Bella," Heather said. "Alice came just ten minutes ago. She and Rose are both sitting in the living room."

"Okay. Marie, don't just dump your coat on the floor like that," I scolded my daughter. She gave me a sheepish look before picking up her coat and handing it to Heather.

"Come, Marie," Heather said, holding out her hand for Marie to take. "Do you want to help me make some brownies for you and your mom to take home later?" Marie nodded and took her hand. Heather always made the best brownies known to mankind and I was always happy to take some home. I was a brownie fiend like that.

I walked into the living room to see Rose and Alice sitting on the couch, their legs tucked under them on the cushioned seats, and talking softly.

"Hey," I said, taking the seat on the other side of Rosalie. They both turned and smiled at me.

My heart ached when I say Rosalie. You know how everything gets worse before it gets better? Same thing applied to her. Her bruises were darker and more vivid than they were last night. Her black eye just looked almost pitiful, which was a term I would have never described Rosalie with before. A fresh wave of hatred towards Royce King washed through me.

I exhaled slowly and said, "How are you feeling?"

Rose shrugged. "Like crap, but I never expected to feel great anyway."

"Did you talk to the police today?" I asked, tucking my legs underneath myself, like she and Alice were doing.

"Yeah, and it was just as hard as I thought it would be."

"Do you want to talk about it to us?" Alice asked. "I know you already told the story to the police, but it's different when you speak to your friends. It might make you feel better."

Rosalie shook her head. "Not right now. I will eventually, but the memory is still too fresh."

Alice opened her mouth to insist, but I shook my head at her. I knew she meant well, only wanted to help, and that since Jasper was a psychology major, she knew that keeping your feelings and experiences cooped up inside wasn't healthy, but I understood Rose. Rosalie would open to us when she was ready. Pushing her would only make her close up more.

Alice had lived a pretty good, sheltered life. She didn't have any bad memories she'd rather forget. That was how Rose and I connected in a way Alice couldn't.

"Can we talk about something else?" Rose said.

"Okay, but promise to come to us when the time comes you feel you can talk about it with us," I said. "I don't care if you call in three in the morning and all you can do is blubber. Just come to us and we'll talk. Okay?" She nodded.

"Well, then, changing the subject," Alice said. She looked at me. "I never got a chance to ask you how giving Marie's card to your mom went, Bella. So, how did it go?"

"It was… interesting," I said.

"Interesting good or interesting bad?"

"A mix of both, I guess. Though I think overall, it was a good move to have Marie reach out to Renee like that."

"What happened that made it bad?" Rose asked.

"It brought both of us to say some suppressed thoughts and feelings. And not exactly in the most civil of manners. Not that much has ever been civil between Renee and I." I paused. "But it was also somewhat of a good thing to get it out since according to her doctor, Renee is very closed off during therapy. She doesn't like talking about her past or her feelings, which sort of defeats the purpose. And then he…" I cut off.

"What? And then he what?" Alice said, "Are you talking about her doctor? What did he do?"

"Renee's doctor recommended therapy to me," I said, shaking my head of the idea. "He said that Renee wasn't the only one who needed to heal over the stuff that happened in the past. He said it would do me some good."

"Are you going to go?" asked Rosalie.

"No, I don't think so. Dr. Walker couldn't do much more than recommend it to me, since I'm not his patient, but he insists it would help. I don't think it will do much of a difference."

"Why not?" Alice asked.

"Well, I've gone six years without any professional help and I'm fine. I like my life the way it is right now. I have my own little family with Marie and great friends. I even have a stable job and another job on the side. I'm not miserable or anything. I'm fine."

"I think the reason he suggested therapy stretches beyond just the past six years," Rose said. Was she telling me to go? I looked at her curiously. "Your struggling didn't just start after you got pregnant with Marie, did it? You've had a lot of hard times your entire life. It is not just the past six years which you haven't therapy when you may have needed it; it's your whole life."

"So you're saying I should go," I stated rather than asked. I felt a little annoyed how this conversation had steered towards my problems and what I should do with my life. I came here to see how Rose was doing, not get a lecture about getting mental help. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Have you at least thought about it?" Rose persisted. I started thinking the reason she was so _interested_ in this therapy thing was because she wanted to take the attention away from her and her assault.

But then I felt like a terrible person. I knew that wasn't the reason Rose was talking about this with me. She was worried about me like I was worried about her and she wanted what was best for me. I just really didn't like this situation and my mind was acting childishly.

"I've thought about it," I answered. "But I don't want to go. I honestly don't think I need it."

"You said that things you've been holding in had slipped out last time you were with Renee, right?" Alice said.

"Well, yeah…"

"Well, those are things you were _holding in_ for years, Bella. I can't say for sure, since I'm not you, but on your own, you seem to only be coping by keeping everything bottled up inside. You may think your way of living right now is satisfying and 'fine', but that may be because you don't know any other way to live. You don't know what it's like to just talk about it and have that lifted off your shoulders."

I didn't come here to be given speeches about my life. I wasn't the one who was suffering. If I wanted a lecture, I would have asked for one.

True, my life hasn't been as sheltered and loving as others' , but that didn't mean I needed to talk about it to a therapist. I fixed myself years ago. I was fine.

I was fine.

I was fine.

I seemed to be saying that a lot lately.

I shouldn't have to be saying that so much. No one needed to worry about me. My life right now was great and I made it that way without help from a 'professional'. I wasn't miserable or suicidal; I was great. I was still together. I hadn't fallen apart.

I was fine.

I shook my head. "I don't need therapy."

Alice sighed and Rosalie looked disappointed. "Alright then. It's your life and your decision to make, but don't ever rule it out. It will always be an option whenever you realize you need it."

I nodded just to appease them. Therapy was not for me. If I needed help, I would have gotten it a long time ago.

"So… moving on," Alice said conversationally. She looked at me and raised a delicate eyebrow. "So how are things with Edward, Bella? I've always noticed before that there was a little somethin'-somethin' between you two, but are guys closer than I first thought you were?"

My cheeks reddened, as per usual habit. Things were definitely changing between Edward and I, especially from my previous feelings of hating his guts, but I wasn't one to kiss and tell.

Not that we had kissed.

_Nooo_, we had not kissed.

I was still confused on whether I even wanted to kiss him or not. Part of me found these weird feelings in me where the idea was rather appealing, welcoming even, but there was this other part that kept reminding me he was my boss. A relationship like that was not exactly illegal, but was a no-no nonetheless.

What would others say? I knew my friends wouldn't judge me and Emmett didn't seem like the type to disapprove. But I had never met Edward's mother, Esme Cullen, and I hardly knew his father beyond a hello. What about the office people? Jessica? Lauren? Most of them knew I had a young daughter. Would they all think I was seeing Edward for his money? So I could use his money for my kid?

I felt a little ashamed then to have such shallow thoughts as to what others would think of me. Did I really care that much about what other people, many of which I didn't even like, thought of me?

But I didn't want Marie under their scrutiny either.

This was too complicated.

Okay, I was getting way ahead of myself. I doubted I had to worry about such things since I was sure my feelings were one sided.

"Tongue tied, Bella?" Alice said, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Oh, sorry. Edward and I are friends. Coworker friends, I guess," I said.

Rose looked at me skeptically and Alice titled her little pixie head to the side. "Do you _want_ anything more though?"

I hesitated. "He's my boss. It would be stupid to want anything else. You have to stop pushing this Edward thing on me, Alice. It's getting tiring. Why do you keep going on about him anyway? Is having a man in my life really that important to you?" Yeah, I was annoyed. Alice didn't need to keep asking about Edward.

"No," Alice said. "You know you could grow up as an old cat lady and watch Marie get married before you and no one would judge you. Edward is different though. You have to have noticed the way he looks at you. He's gaga over you, Bells. Trust me, I know these things."

My cheeks were on fire now; sure that Alice was stretching the truth for my benefit. You can't blame me for having a low self-esteem. The only guy I've ever had sex with, whose _child_ I was raising, threw me away like I meant no more to him than an easy lay. I didn't exactly embody confidence.

I shook my head and Rose teased, "Denial, Bella."

I stuck my tongue out at her and she smirked.

"It's not just a river in Egypt."

* * *

"What the hell do you buy for your boss?"

It was a week before Christmas, and being one of those people who didn't want to be trampled in a stampede at the mall on Christmas Eve, I decided I should finish off my Christmas shopping now.

Well, also because the Christmas office party at work was tomorrow evening and I still couldn't find something to give to Edward. If he had a wife, I would have given him candles or something, but he didn't, and I really didn't want to give him that cliché coffee mug with 'Best Boss' or some cheesy crap like that written on the side.

In the past couple of weeks, Rose had been doing a bit better, but she wasn't completely back to her old self. Not that I expected her to be. Emmett, that really big softie, had been at her place a lot lately, and I was grateful. I knew she probably would have been a lot worse if he wasn't there for her.

She hadn't opened up and talked about the incident with Alice or I yet, but we were being patient and waiting for her to come to us. I knew she would when she was ready.

I didn't know what more I could do with the Renee situation, but decided to have Marie write little notes to deliver every Saturday. Just saying something she had done that week. I knew Renee would appreciate them and it would give us something to talk about. Since our little outburst before, visits had become even more awkward.

"I don't know. Get him a gift card to a store. Do have any idea of what he likes?" Alice asked, looking through the window of a clothes store.

"To be honest, I have no idea." I turned around as Marie and Jasper caught up to us. Marie had wanted hot chocolate from the food court and Jasper volunteered to buy it for her while Alice and I walked on ahead.

"Jasper, you're a man," I said.

"Glad you noticed," he replied, looking at me suspiciously.

"Yeah, well, it just sort of dawned on me now," I joked. He grimaced and I laughed. "Seriously, Jazz, what would you want a secretary of yours to buy you for Christmas?"

"One of those nice 'Best Boss Ever' mugs?"

"You know I would never give that to Edward."

"An ink pen that comes in those fancy cases?"

"He already has tons of those. I've seen him use them."

"Well most people usually get their bosses chocolates or a bottle of wine for Christmas. Especially if their not especially close with them. Why don't you just get Edward an expensive bottle of port? That's what I always get my boss."

"I don't know."

"Come on, Bella. You have to know about _something_ he likes," Alice said, sounding exasperated.

"Well, he, um, he likes… music," I said, vaguely remembering back to months ago when he gave Marie and I a ride home. I remembered seeing so many CDs crammed into the compartment under his car's CD player that it looked like it was ready to burst.

"Great, why don't you go into that music store and pick something out for him," she said, giving me a small shove towards the store. "We'll stay here and watch Marie."

I knew I was seriously wearing down Alice's nerves if she sounded like she wanted to _hurry_ shopping. When it came to shopping, she was the 'take it slow' type. My indecisiveness must have been more annoying than I thought.

I walked into the shop, mumbling to myself. Why didn't I take Jasper's advice and just buy Edward a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates? Right, it was because I felt more than an employee should towards her boss and didn't want the gift to feel too generic or impersonal. I was such a sap.

Not to mention Edward crossed some sort of line when he kissed my forehead back at the hospital the night Rosalie was attacked. I was pretty sure bosses didn't typically do that to their employees. I sure as hell wouldn't let my Starbucks boss get close enough to touch me let alone press his lips to my skin. The thought made me shudder in disgust.

I figured if Edward was going to break a boundary or two, I might as well too by buying him a gift that could actually mean something.

I walked along the racks of CDs, not knowing what the hell to buy. Sure, I knew he liked music, but what type of music, I was a tad iffy on.

I stopped to stare at a U2 CD for a good five minutes before I heard someone cough behind me. I turned around and my heart skipped a beat. I hated how he made me react that way, but it was an uncontrollable reaction. What a coincidence the person I was shopping for would show up.

Edward smirked at me, in all his bronze-haired glory, before looking curious. "Hello Bella. Christmas shopping?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm almost done. What about you?"

He held up a plastic bag with the logo of the store on the side. "I was just about to leave. I was buying a gift and some sheets of staff paper."

"Staff paper?"

"To write music on. I compose music sometimes. On my piano."

"Really?" I asked, a little surprised. That was… impressive. Especially to someone who was musically challenged when it came to playing instruments. Someone like, oh, me.

Edward nodded, looking a little embarrassed. I guess it wasn't really considered 'macho' to compose music, but I thought it was incredible. Something like that required talent.

"You must be pretty talented," I said. He just shrugged.

"I'm not bad," he said modestly. "I need to go now. I'll see you tomorrow?" Something in his face changed, making it look almost hopeful.

"Yes, I'm coming to the office party."

He smiled crookedly and I almost passed out on the spot. I wasn't usually one to swoon over men, but I wasn't stupid enough to not notice a gorgeous man when I saw one. Edward said bye and left me alone, still not knowing what to buy him. I knew I had been inside the store for more than ten minutes and decided I had only so much more time before Alice barged in and bought something random for me to give to Edward.

If only I knew what kind of music he liked! It would have been so much easier. I was guessing he liked classical music to an extent, considering he played piano and composed music. But that was only an educated guess.

Wait, he composed music. He bought sheets of staff paper to write on.

He might've already had several of what I suddenly thought of buying him, but it was the thought that counted, right? It was simple, but it showed that I paid attention to his interests. That we were, I guess, friends.

I was probably going to be a little awkward that I got him something less than generic, but oh well. Edward was my forehead-kissing friend, and it was Christmas; the season of giving, n'est-ce pas?

* * *

**A/N: I know it's short and I know it's more of a filler chapter, but please review? The next chapter, I hope, will make it up to you, wink-wink. What will happen in the next chapter? Stay tuned to find out!**

**Thanks for being so patient with me. I love you all for your endless patience and understanding. Unfortunately, things have gotten hectic with family issues and exams in only three weeks, so please be nice. Next chapter will probably be out in a week. A week and a half at the most.**

**Peace out.**


	19. Never Say Never

**A/N: I know, I know. I don't need you to tell me. I FAIL. In fact, because I took so long to update (even when I promised a fast one), I don't just fail. I phail. Yes, there is a difference. Note at the bottom.**

**On with Chapter NINETEEN!!!**

**

* * *

**

_He might've already had several of what I suddenly thought of buying him, but it was the thought that counted, right? It was simple, but it showed that I paid attention to his interests. That we were, I guess, friends. _

_I was probably going to be a little awkward that I got him something less than generic, but oh well. Edward was my forehead-kissing friend, and it was Christmas: The season of giving, n'est-ce pas?_

**Chapter 19: Never Say Never**

"It's an office party, Alice. Not a ball. I don't need to wear a formal _gown. _I'll look ridiculous," I said, shoving the dress Alice put in my hands back at her. "You really can't restrain yourself when it comes to social events, can you?"

She rolled her eyes and put the dress away. "I don't want you to wear this dress tomorrow. I just thought it would look nice on you, so here you go." She put it back in my hands. "Tuck it away in your closet for a rainy day, okay?"

"Like I'm going to prance around my apartment in this thing on any day."

"Bella, you know I didn't mean that literally. Let me help you pick out what you're actually going to wear. I'll be over tomorrow evening to do your makeup and take Marie for the night." She said this all in one breath as she started digging around for pretty skirts and blouses.

"Sure thing."

Alice pulled out a nice black short sleeve ruffle blouse and held it up to my chest, tilting her head a bit to the side.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" I said distractedly, checking the blouse against me in the mirror.

"I think Jasper is going to propose really soon."

Say what?

My eyes widened as I turned to look at Alice. She often had these 'feelings' that led her to make predictions about the future. And those predictions were true about ninety-nine point nine percent of the time. Alice didn't flinch or stutter or even look nervous when she said it. She was the picture of calm, still examining the blouse.

"Um, are you sure about that?"

She nodded. "Pretty positive. I have a feeling and on top of that, Jazz has been acting a little weird around me lately."

"Weird? How?"

"Just secretive, I guess. And whenever he looks at me, he seems lost in thought. I seriously think he's going to propose any day now." She picked up a gray skirt to go with the blouse. "We've been dating for two years and we live together. Everyone expects for us to get married soon."

I took the clothes from Alice's hand and laid them down on the bed, wanting Alice's attention. "Well, Ali, aren't you excited?"

Her dark eyes twinkled and she smiled, finally letting a bit of a squeal enter her voice. "Of course I am, Bells. I've been dreaming about my wedding since I was in kindergarten. Jasper is The One. I've known it since the day he walked into that diner and spilled coffee on my designer skirt." She giggled. "I think that's the only reason I let him off the hook for that so easily."

I grinned. I was genuinely happy for my friends. Alice and Jasper were perfect for each other; they were complete opposites yet they fit each other so perfectly. She was really short, he was really tall. She was hyper and sociable while he was calm and quiet. They really defined the saying, "Opposites attract."

"So does this mean I get to be your Maid of Honor?" I asked getting a little excited myself. I couldn't help it; one of my best friends was likely to be engaged soon. I could afford to get hyped up.

Rose, Alice, and I had a little pact going on between the three of us. I was going to be Alice's Maid of Honor, Alice would be Rose's, and Rose would be mine. That way, no one felt left out and no one got to be it twice, which was unfair. Originally, when Rose and I were kids, we promised to be each other's Maids of Honor. Neither of had any sisters and we were each other's only friends. Then years later, here in Chicago, Alice came into the picture and we altered the pact a little to include her.

"Slow down, Jazz hasn't proposed yet. He may not even propose at all." Alice frowned a little then. I reassuringly put my hand on her shoulder.

"He will. You're hardly ever wrong and besides, all of us have seen this coming. Jasper loves you so much. You should see his face whenever someone so much as says your name. You're Alice Brandon. You don't second guess yourself. He _will_ propose."

"Thanks, Bella."

* * *

I popped the waffles into the toaster and leaned back on the kitchen counter. It was the next morning. I had the week off for Christmas, which was at the end of the week on Friday.

Marie was off of school and was in the front of the TV, watching her cartoons still in her pajamas. I was still in my pajamas too and since the office party didn't start until the evening, I saw no reason to get out of them just yet.

The waffles popped up from the toaster and I plopped them on a plate. Pouring some maple syrup on them, I placed them on the table. "Marie, breakfast."

I was just about to pour myself a cup of coffee and dig into my own waffles when there was a knock on the door.

It seemed Jasper felt like making an early morning visit.

"Bella, I need your help," he said as soon as I opened the door.

"Good morning to you to, Jasper," I said, stepping aside to let him in. "What help of mine do you need that brings you to my humble home this fine morning?" I spotted Marie, still in front of the TV and not at the table where I told her to be. "Marie. Go to the table and eat your breakfast, or I'm turning off the TV."

"Bella," Jasper started.

"Marie, _now. _Sorry, Jasper," I said, interrupting him.

"Five more minutes, Mommy."

"No, Marie, now. You need to listen to mommy when she's telling you to eat your breakfast. Don't make me turn off Diego."

"Bella-" Jasper tried again.

"One more minute, Mommy," Marie said.

"Marie Rosalie Swan. I'm counting to three. One."

"Mommy-"

"Two."

She bolted from her spot on the floor to her seat at the table and I breathed out a sigh. I loved Marie and she was a well-behaved sweet kid most of the time, but there were moments she liked to be difficult. Sometimes she was just as stubborn as I was. Of all the things she could have inherited from me, she got a rather unappealing trait.

"Sorry Jazz," I said. "What is it you wanted to say? Do you want anything to eat?" I reached for the kitchen cupboard to grab another plate.

Jasper shook his head. "No, Bell. I don't want anything to eat. I need your help. It's important."

I took Jasper's arm and started to lead him to my room. I turned around to give Marie a pointed look. "You better stay in your seat, okay?" She nodded and I pushed Jasper inside my room. Closing the door behind me, I turned to him.

"So what do you need my help with? Is it Alice?" I asked. He nodded and I pulled on a strand of my hair. "Please don't tell me you're in the doghouse again, Jazz. I can't go saving your ass every time Alice is mad at you. What did you do this time? I swear, if you said anything that-"

"I'm going to ask Alice to marry me.'

I just stood there, blinking for about a second.

I had a weird sense of déjà vu.

After about another second of blinking at him, I snapped out of it. Letting out a rather girly, childish squeal, a sound I _never_ thought I'd make, I threw myself at Jasper, almost knocking him off his feet. He was shocked for a millisecond before laughing and hugging me back.

I may try to act like a mature mother and whatnot (though I failed much of the time) I was still only twenty three years old. I could afford to be a little crazy every now and again. Come on, one of my best friends was getting married!

I knew I was probably getting ahead of myself since Jasper hadn't even asked Alice yet, but there was no way she would say no. She and I just talked about it yesterday.

"Oh my God, Jasper," I said, releasing him. "What are doing here, then? Shouldn't you be with Alice?"

He shrugged, unable to wipe the goofy grin on his face. "I haven't bought a ring yet. Which is why I'm here with you."

"You want me to help you choose a ring?" I asked.

"Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck. "I know Alice inside and out, but I figured I could use a woman's help with this. Who better to ask than one of her best friends?"

"What about Rose?"

"She's coming too. I called her ahead of time. We're going to pick her up on the way," he said, holding up his car keys.

"We're going now?"

"Is that okay?" he asked. I nodded. "My parents said they could take Marie for the few hours we're going to be out. I think it's best if she doesn't come." I nodded again, knowing if Marie came, she would probably blab everything to Alice when she came over to help me get ready tonight. I waved Jasper out the door of my bedroom so I could get dressed.

Call it pathetic or sad or whatever, but in my entire life, I had only been to one wedding. And that one wedding happened to be a couple of years ago for a coworker who didn't work at the company anymore. Since I really didn't know her very well, I was stuck sitting in the back. Growing up, Renee didn't have any friends or family getting married.

So, this was a pretty exciting deal for me.

After putting on some jeans and a long sleeve top, I quickly brushed my hair and came out. Marie was sitting in front of the TV again, having eaten her waffle at record speed. Jasper was sitting on the couch, also staring at the television screen.

"Marie," I said. "Do you want to go spend some time with Auntie Heather and Uncle John today?"

I swore I saw her ears perk. "How come?" she asked.

"Uncle Jasper and I have some stuff to do."

"Can I come?"

I shook my head. "Sorry sweets, it's a surprise. Now go get dressed."

Within half an hour, Marie was dressed and dropped off at John and Heather's place. We then picked up Rose, who was actually at her apartment for once. She was usually either at Emmett's or with Heather. More Emmett's than Heather's.

Although I spoke to her everyday on the phone, if not in person, I still looked her up and down, to make sure she was okay. As usual, Rosalie looked tired. Ever since the attack, there were permanent dark circles under her eyes, an indication she didn't get enough sleep. I asked her about it once, but she brushed it off.

"Ready to go?" Jasper asked, unlocking the doors as she reached for the door handle.

"Yup," she replied, slipping into the back of the car. "I've been waiting forever for you to finally get the balls to propose to Alice. I'm so ready. Hey, Bella."

"Hey."

By noon, we had been to six different jewelry stores, and no ring. Jasper didn't want to get just any run-of-the-mill engagement ring. He wanted to get something that was _Alice_. Something as unique as she was and was perfect for _her._ The thought behind the gesture was sweet, and I loved how Jasper wanted this to be so special for Alice, as it should have been, but for the love of God, it was taking a while. But then again, I didn't know the first thing to buying engagement rings, or rings in general, so hey, maybe all guys were like this.

"Jasper, the ring better be in this store, or so help me God, I'll make you buy a fifty cent one from a vending machine," Rosalie grumbled as we stepped into the seventh jewelry store.

"Calm down, Rose," I said. "This is Alice he's buying for. It has to be special." I checked my watch and quickly backtracked. "Regardless, Jazz, I'm with Rose. You better find that ring soon or Alice is going to be proposed to with a bubblegum ring."

"Easy," Jasper said, rolling his eyes. "I didn't know it was going to take this long. Besides, it's the thought that counts. Wouldn't you like your future husbands to put so much care into finding something as important as your engagement ring?"

"Actually," I said, peering into one of the glass cases. "Any of these babies would do nicely. I don't even need to have a rock on my finger to accept a proposal. That one's nice."

"It's the thought that counts," Jasper repeated firmly. He looked at the ring I was pointing at and shook his head. I huffed and walked over to Rose, who was examining another case of rings. Jasper followed, looking over our heads at the rings.

"What about that one?" Rose asked, pointing at a ring. Jasper squinted at it for a second and then waved over a store attendant.

"May I see that ring, please?" he said, pointing at said ring.

"Certainly," the salesman said, taking the ring out of the case. It had a black onyx in a marquise cut with a smaller marquise cut diamond on top of it. There were tiny diamonds going down the sides. "It is a high quality marquise cut diamond, set with genuine black onyx," the salesman said. "There are 32 matching diamonds going down the sides in single rows and it comes with a matching diamond wedding band. Both the ring and the wedding band are 14K white gold and weigh…"

I don't think any of us were really listening as the salesman listed off the various attributes of the ring. We just stared. Jasper's eyes brightened and he smiled.

I didn't have to ask him to know that this was _the_ ring for Alice. It was unique, not your typical diamond engagement ring, and perfect for our Alice.

Once the salesman was done talking, Jasper said, "That's it. That's the ring I need to propose to Alice with. That's _her_ ring."

* * *

"Hold still, Bella," Alice scolded as she attempted to apply mascara on me.

I tried swatting her hand away again and scowled at her. "I know how to put mascara on myself, Ali. Stop making such a huge deal out of this. It's an office party, not a ball."

"If it's not something you do normally, then it's a big deal." She tried to get at me with the mascara again and I swatted her hand away again for the third time. Looking up the ceiling in a 'God help me' gesture, she put the mascara down on the edge of the bathroom sink and walked out. "Fine, fine. Do it yourself. I'm going to lay out your clothes."

I grinned triumphantly. It wasn't a regular occurrence that Alice let me win. After applying the rest of my makeup, I went to my bedroom. Alice was there, picking a piece of lint off the skirt I was going to wear.

"Let me see," she said, coming up to inspect my face. "Not bad, Bella. You're safe… this time." I laughed and she giggled, pushing me towards my clothes. "Now change. I'm going to go hang out with Marie."

She left and I dressed, straightening out the skirt and blouse once they were on me. I stepped out of my room, doing a little twirl for Alice's inspection. Marie giggled as I lost balance mid-twirl and almost fell face first on the couch, before catching myself and grinning at my baby girl.

"Okay, I'll be back later tonight. Probably by eleven. Midnight at the latest," I said, slipping on my coat and grabbing my purse. I pointed sternly at Marie. "You, be good and listen to Auntie Ali when she tells you it's time for bed. No candy right before bed and don't forget to brush your teeth after you put on your pajamas. Capiche?" Marie nodded and I smiled, opening up my arms. She jumped into them. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby. Bye. Love you."

"Love you too, Mommy," she said, releasing me after another second and going back to her spot on the floor in front of the TV. I looked at Alice.

"You know the drill, Alice. Call me if she starts to be any trouble."

"Yup. I'm sure we'll have a great time, as always. Right, Marie?"

"Right!"

I chuckled and left to go top the office party. Edward's gift along with gifts for Angela and even Jessica and Lauren (to be polite) resided in another bag I held. I was hopeless with wrapping, always making presents look like lumps of colourful coal instead of what they actually were, so I just bundled them in tissue paper and put them in smaller Christmas gift bags.

By the time I made it to the office, almost everyone was already there. They hadn't whipped out the alcohol yet, but it wasn't like I was going to drink any anyway.

"Bella!"

I turned around and saw Angela, smiling as she came up to me, leading her boyfriend, Ben Cheney, along after her.

"Hey, Angela. Ben," I greeted them. "Here." I reached into my bag and handed her present. We gave each the same thing every year; chocolates. Sounds pretty standard, but there was this certain brand of chocolates that were rather pricey, to be honest, that Angela adored and I always bought for her at Christmas and vise versa.

I removed my coat and accepted Angela's gift to me, tucking it away in my bag.

I chatted with Angela and Ben for a while, mostly about Christmas plans.

"So what did you buy for Marie this year?" Angela asked, sipping on the glass of wine that was just brought out.

"A new Tinkerbell movie that she's been bugging me about for weeks. And since I thought it was cute, a Tinkerbell stuffed doll to go with it."

"Is it just going to be you two on Christmas morning again?"

I nodded. "As it is every year. I'm going to go visit my mom on Christmas Eve to give her presents from both Marie and I, but as for Christmas morning, it's just the two of us. We'll be going to Alice and Jasper's for a turkey dinner in the evening, though."

"I bet Marie's excited."

"You bet," I laughed. "She's been eyeing the presents under the tree everyday. She's worried about Santa, though. She's afraid he won't be able to get in our apartment since we don't have a chimney." Angela and Ben chuckled. "I told her that Santa has his ways. I don't think she believes me."

"Bella," I heard a deep voice say from behind me. I turned around to see Emmett Cullen, grinning down at me. "Fancy seeing you here." He wrapped his massive arm playfully around my shoulders.

I rolled my eyes. "I work here, Emmett. Remember?"

"I'm just messing with ya," he said, winking and releasing his grip on my shoulders.

"I know. I'm just joking around too."

He made a move to ruffle my hair, but I ducked away from his hand, laughing. Since he had been around Rose so much since the attack, we had seen quite a bit of each other and built a playful friendship. There was still much I didn't know about him and the same went for him knowing about me, but we were friends. Emmett also built a teasing relationship with Alice, mostly making jabs about the difference in their sizes.

Jasper was still a little tense around Emmett, but he knew Emmett was a good guy. He was just being protective of Rosalie. Rose, Alice, Heather, and I were the most important women in his life, and when it came to me, Rose, and men, he tended to take on the big brother/father role. It was annoying and lovable at the same time.

Suddenly, a different hand landed on my shoulder and I turned around to come face-to-face with Edward.

He looked as handsome as ever. I almost laughed as I noticed he had tried to tame his wild bronze hair. It was a failed attempt, but it was actually kind of cute of him to try. I made a mental note to tell him later to not bother trying again.

"Hi, Edward," I said, smiling.

"Hi," he replied, smiling back. "How are you?"

"I'm good," I said.

Edward set down his glass of wine on a nearby table and let go of my shoulder. We chatted a little longer with Angela, Ben, and Emmett. Lauren and Jessica even came over at one point for a few minutes and I gave them their gifts. Lauren didn't have anything for me, but Jessica was all smiles as she gave me some scented bath beads.

Eventually, Angela and Ben drifted away to talk with other people, as did Emmett, leaving Edward and I alone.

Edward leaned in closer to me, making me suppress a shiver, as he said quietly, "I left my gift for you upstairs in my office. Could you come up with me?"

I looked at his face, noticing how he looked calm and collected on the surface, but there was something else there bubbling below his façade. He looked almost… nervous?

"Um, okay," I said. He led the way upstairs as I followed, curious as to what he got me. I would have been perfectly satisfied if he didn't buy me a present at all, but seeing as he did, I wasn't going to refuse it. That was rude.

Besides, as I said, I was curious.

When we reached my office, he told me to sit at my desk while he went to get it in his own office. I sat down in my chair, pulling out the gift I bought for him. Now I was getting nervous myself. Were we really going to exchange gifts by ourselves here? That would just make his reaction more loud and clear rather than if we exchanged them downstairs with the rest of the party.

Edward came back from his office, holding a wrapped package. He pulled up a chair so he was sitting beside me behind my desk. I turned around in my chair to face him and he did the same.

"You first," he said, smiling encouragingly. I quickly handed him his present before I could chicken out, watching nervously as he unwrapped it.

He finally freed it of it's tissue paper prison and held it in his hands. I bought him more staff paper, but not in the form he bought it in. After our meeting in the music store the other day, I knew I wanted to get him something to do with his music. After some searching, I found a staff paper book. The paper was the same size as the kind he bought, but it was hundred of sheets, bound together in a rather beautiful book, with a ribbon to mark his place. It had a nice black cover.

"I just thought it might be more convenient and easy to use than loose papers. Those can get all over the place. And in case you do prefer writing on those, this book allows you to tear out the pages quite easily." I shrugged. "I saw it and thought of you, so… here you go."

Edward didn't say anything for a moment, just turning the book over in his hands. I didn't look up to his face. I knew I was being ridiculous though. It was just a gift. I'd have to do this all over again next Christmas anyway.

"Bella," he said, his voice surprisingly tender. I wasn't expecting it to be harsh, or anything, but I wasn't expecting such gentleness either.

I looked up at him and saw his eyes were full of warmth. He was smiling. "Thank you. It means a lot to me that you actually gave me something I could use, instead of a generic gift. I could definitely make good use of this."

I smiled back; happy he genuinely liked my gift to him. Edward then held up his present to me and my smile faltered a bit.

"My turn," he said, giving me the package. I raised my eyebrows as I looked at him, smirking. I mean, even when wrapped, it was always blatantly obvious when one was being given a CD. Edward just shrugged in response and I looked at the wrapped CD case curiously. Did he know what types of music I liked?

I tore off the wrapping paper to reveal plain CD case holding what looked like a blank CD. Edward chuckled at my confused expression and took it from my hands. He opened the case and took out the CD. He reached behind himself and pulled out a portable CD player and earbuds. Where did those come from? He must have brought them along with his gift, so I could listen to whatever was on the CD right away.

He put the CD inside the player and gave me the earbuds. I put them in my ears and waited.

I gasped very softly as a gorgeous melody flooded in my ears. It was a piano playing the music, the complicated notes and chords coming together to form something breathtakingly beautiful. Heather and John had a small piano in their house and when I first came to Chicago, I tried learning to play it in order to pass the time. However, I never got very far since I found out early on that I was pretty much hopeless when it came to learning musical instruments.

The melody ended and the CD launched into another, different than the first, but just as beautiful. It almost felt soothing.

"Who's the composer?" I asked. "I don't recognize this music, though it's amazing." I didn't listen to classical music as a kid, but I developed a liking for it once moving to Chicago. I remembered Heather playing it around the house, claiming it was good for Marie, even while she was still inside me. After Marie was born, I kept listening to it not only because Heather insisted it was good for Marie, but because I enjoyed it so much.

I looked at Edward after a few seconds when he didn't answer to see him looking intently at me. "The composer?" I asked again, wondering if he heard me the first time.

He seemed to snap out of a trance and answered, "Me."

My eyes widened. I knew he played piano and I knew he composed, but I had no idea he was _this_ good. He was very quickly becoming my favourite composer. Move over, Debussy.

"You?" I said, shocked.

He nodded. "Those are pieces of music I composed over the years. That CD doesn't hold all of them, just some of my better pieces and some I thought you might like. I burn CDs like that all the time for my family, so it wasn't that difficult and I figured it was something you would enjoy. I also heard you didn't like people spending money on you, so rest assured I didn't spend a dime on this."

"Wow, um, wait. How did you know I don't like money being spent on me?"

The lightest of pinks tinted Edward's cheeks. Oh my God, he was blushing! And I thought that was my thing. Although, it was so light, it was hard to tell.

"Rosalie mentioned it in passing to Emmett and Emmett told me," he said. It was my turn to blush then, knowing that even if it was only once, the brothers had talked about me.

"Oh, well, um, thank you. I love it."

"It's also a gift to your daughter," Edward went on.

"Huh?"

He smiled. "I may not have one of my own, but I do know a thing or two about kids. If Marie is anything like the children I've taken care of before, whenever she's restless, can't sleep, or has a nightmare, just play some of the calmer songs from this CD for her and she'll be out like a light."

I laughed. "That will grant me some relief. Marie is a light sleeper and she tends to wake me up whenever she has a nightmare." I smiled warmly at him, which he returned tenfold. "It's sweet of you to think of Marie when burning this CD for me. She'll love it. Her music taste is a lot like mine. She adores good classical music."

I removed the earbuds from my ears and took out the CD, putting it back in its case. "Thank you, Edward," I said sincerely.

"You're welcome," he said quietly. I looked up to see his face closer than I originally thought. My breath hitched at the proximity. His eyes were intense now, seeming as if to look right through me.

He gently took the CD, safely tucked away in its case, out of my hands and put it on the desk besides us as he leaned in even closer. My eyes widened as his stayed determined, yet tender at the same time. His hand came up slowly to cup my jaw, his thumb stroking my cheek.

Okay, this was definitely going beyond the boundaries of boss and employee. It was going beyond the boundaries of coworkers. It was going beyond the boundaries of casual friends. I was pretty sure we were all of those things, so he was definitely invading on my personal bubble.

Edward face came impossibly closer, his forehead now practically leaning against mine, our noses touching. And yet, still, I didn't move away. It was like I was frozen in place, unable to even avert my eyes. The last time I had allowed someone's face get this close to my own face for this long, other than my daughter for we often shared nose rubs and butterfly kisses, it was to-

The thought cut off as soon as Edward's lips came down on mine. In fact, all thoughts immediately scrambled as our lips came in contact. I sat there, too shocked to react. My mind was a jumble of confused thoughts, but one thing was clear: I thought we were just friends. When we first met, we didn't even _like_ each other.

How did we get from there, to _this?_ Did I even care?

I don't think I did. For once, I just wanted to live in the moment.

Edward softly kissed my unresponsive lips; his own mouth was warm and firm. Finally, after a minute of shocked immobility, I started to respond. His mouth just felt _so_ good, I couldn't even think coherently, so I just threw caution to the wind, closed my eyes, and kissed him back.

It was slow and gentle, yet stirred desire and fire in me. I was sure he felt it too, as he started kissing me harder, more intensely. We both opened our mouths at the same time and oh God, I didn't remember kissing _ever_ feeling this good. We just kept going on, not needing to part for breath. We breathed through our noses.

He let out a groan and my hands dived into his hair, pulling him closer. Both of his hands were now slowly moving around my hips, his own body moving more and more out of his chair. Without thinking, I moaned embarrassingly loud, which earned another groan from him.

After a long while, and I'm not kidding when I say a _long_ while, we broke apart. We stayed close together though, our foreheads touching and eyes closed, for a moment before Edward laughed lightly.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for," he said. I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me, his eyes twinkling. Before I could control myself, I smiled back.

Then my cell phone rang.

We both jumped and then laughed. "Sorry," I whispered. I didn't know why I was whispering. I reached for my phone, answering without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella" It was Alice. I moved away from Edward to talk. He just silently took the hand that wasn't holding my phone and played with my fingers.

"Alice? Is something wrong? Is Marie being difficult?" I asked, wondering why she was calling. Alice rarely called while babysitting Marie. She could usually handle her fine.

"No, none of that," Alice assured me. "Marie just wanted to say goodnight to you. I said you were busy at the party, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She's stubborn, just like you." I could hear the smile in Alice's voice as she teased.

"Okay, put her on," I said, still riding off the blissful high of kissing Edward.

"Mommy?"

"Hey. You wanted to say goodnight?"

"Oh yeah," Marie said. "Goodnight Mommy, I hope you're having fun at your party. Maybe I can come with you, next time."

I laughed. "Maybe. Now go to bed. Goodnight, baby."

"Night."

I heard shuffling and then Alice's voice returned. "I'll see you later, Bella. I hope we didn't interrupt anything important." I blushed and shook my head, though I knew she couldn't see, thinking of how I was making out with Edward right before she called.

"Uh, no, it's fine."

"Okay. Bye."

I hung up and turned back to Edward. He was smiled softly at me. He was smiling a lot tonight. "That was your daughter, wasn't it?" he asked.

I nodded. "She wanted to say goodnight to me. I always say goodnight to her every night and I don't think she liked the fact I'm away from her tonight." Edward nodded understandingly.

"You're very close to each other, aren't you?"

"Yes. She's my world and…" I trailed off as it hit me. I was sitting here, post-make-out with Edward. He was my boss, and I just kissed him.

I just kissed him.

What was I _doing?_

Marie was always my first priority, no matter what, and I was irresponsible enough to just jump into a kissing session with Edward Cullen. He was my boss! I was so stupid! I didn't want to be some office slut, sleeping with her boss. And how would this new progress, and I wasn't even sure if it was 'progress', affect my job? How would it affect my family? My Marie?

Edward saw my worried face and immediately grew concerned.

"Bella? What's the matter? Did I say something? Did I do something? Talk to me, Bella." He leaned in, looking pleadingly into my eyes.

I pushed him back and got up from my chair, starting to pace. "Edward, we can't do this."

"What?"

"This." I pointed in between him and I. "Whatever this is, we can't do it. You're my boss, I'm your employee. I'm not that type of woman. The type to sleep with the boss for benefits. I… I have a child to think of. How would a relationship with my boss affect her? Affect my job? My income? We just, we just can't. It would never work."

"Bella. Bella, listen to me," Edward said, standing up and putting his hands on my shoulders, stopping me from pacing. I looked up at him helplessly.

"Never say never, Bella. I may be your boss, but I'm not going to let that come between us. I like you. A lot. And I want to be in a relationship with you. I don't want you just for sex. I understand you need to put your daughter first, and I fully support that. However, any relationship between us will not have a negative impact on your job security. I won't let it. Any affect I have on your daughter will solely be on a personal level, with me being her friend. Even if things don't work out between us, I won't let it harm your family. Understand?"

I nodded weakly, trying to absorb everything he just told me. I didn't know how true to his word he would stay about it not affecting my job, but I just had to trust him. And surprisingly, I did. I couldn't explain it, but I believed him and trusted his words.

He continued, "As I said, I like you, far more than I can say, and I want you. I want an 'us'. Just tell me you feel the same way and I'm yours."

He admitted he had feelings for me. He offered himself to me, asking only that I reciprocate his feelings in return. Did I?

That kiss I shared with him had been the best kiss in my life. There was this spark that ignited as our lips moved together that I had never felt with anyone else, not even Jacob. I was definitely attracted to him physically. But what else? I found him incredibly smart and sweet, though he was sweet only when he wanted to be, but that was part of his charm. He was caring and was good with kids judging from that day with him and Marie in the park. He was arrogant at times, but that was part of who he was and he knew when he crossed the line. Well, most of the time. He could make me smile and sometimes even laugh out loud. He composed music that made me melt and with the way he was looking at me right now, it was if I was the most important thing in the world.

So did I have feelings for him?

Yes. Yes, I did.

"I do feel the same way," I said quietly and truthfully. "I want 'us', too. I'm yours."

Edward grinned the most stunning crooked grin I had seen on his face yet, and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms tightly around me and putting his face in the crook of my neck. He breathed in deeply and I felt him smile. Lifting his head, he pressed his lips on mine and once again, the desire ignited. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He pulled back and looked at me adoringly. I pecked his lips and then said, "I want to take this slow. I don't want to rush."

Edward nodded. "I understand."

He hugged me again and whispered so quietly I could barely hear it, "As long as you're mine."

* * *

**A/N: Even though I know you guys are probably pissed at me right now, please review. :)**

**Okay, so, yes, I am aware I said I would get this out within a week and a half and instead, it takes over a month. I'm so sorry for the extra long wait, I really am. Hopefully this longer chapter (with the kiss you've all been waiting for. FINALLY) makes up for it. **

**Reason for taking so long? Mostly, a mix of real life and writer's block. This chapter was difficult to write. Also, a few of you might already know this if you've read my blog lately or I told you personally, but my grandfather is very sick right now. He has cancer and is in the hospital. He had surgery and there have been some unexpected complications that caused him to stay there for much longer than anticipated. Even with the surgery and chemotherapy, the doctors say he hasn't got much longer to live. So most of the time I spend writing has been spent with him. I wasn't planning on telling you this, but I felt I owed you a proper explanation for making you wait so long.  
**

**An update for A Vision Stained with Red is on the way and will hopefully be up by the end of the week. DON'T WORRY, it will NOT take over a month for the next update. I finished my exams, so school is out of the way for now. BY THE WAY, I finally got around to writing the story summaries for a couple of upcoming stories of mine. Please go read them on my profile. Once I get closer to finishing this story (don't ask me when it will be done because I don't know yet) I will put up a poll to determine which upcoming story I shoudl write first.**

**Peace out.  
**


	20. Tell Me More, Tell Me More

**A/N: Thanks a billion for your endless patience and understanding. Here's the next chapter :D**

**On with Chapter TWENTY!!!**

**

* * *

**_Edward grinned the most stunning crooked grin I had seen on his face yet, and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms tightly around me and putting his face in the crook of my neck. He breathed in deeply and I felt him smile. Lifting his head, he pressed his lips on mine and once again, the desire ignited. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck._

_He pulled back and looked at me adoringly. I pecked his lips and then said, "I want to take this slow. I don't want to rush."_

_Edward nodded. "I understand."_

_He hugged me again and whispered so quietly I could barely hear it, "As long as you're mine."_

**Chapter 20: Tell Me More, Tell Me More**

It was midnight when I made it home from the office party. I found myself almost stumbling into the apartment, unable to wipe the big grin on my face. Right outside the door, I composed myself, not wanting Alice to go into interrogation mode.

Yes, I was drunk. But not off of drinks. More like off of Edward. Corny, but true.

We had spent a little more time alone up in his office, talking, kissing, and just being with each other. Before anyone could come looking for us, we reluctantly went back downstairs to the party. We decided not to announce our new relationship right then and there, but we stayed by each other's sides the rest of the night.

I was acting like a giddy schoolgirl. It had been a long time since someone had made me feel this way. It felt so weird, especially for that someone to be _Edward._ I went from hating him, to tolerating him, to liking him. The man I couldn't stand to be around before was now virtually non-existent. He had changed. Just thinking about being with Edward made me smile.

I didn't want to think about how long this would last or how the fact that we worked together would complicate things. I just wanted to live in the moment. For now. I knew I had other responsibilities that a relationship with Edward would affect, but… just for now.

I came into my apartment to find Alice sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on the TV. The TV's soft glow provided the only light and the volume was turned down so it didn't wake up Marie.

"Hey," I said quietly, putting down my bag and shrugging off my coat. "How was she?" I was calmer now, but I was still smiling. I couldn't seem to stop.

"Fine, as usual," Alice replied. She looked at me and upon seeing the smile on my face, raised her eyebrows. "So, what's with the smile? How did it go?"

My mind automatically thought back to my time with Edward and I blushed. I hoped it was too dark in the room for Alice to notice, and luckily she didn't. But she still found my silence suspicious. She patted the spot next to her on the couch.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm pretty tired," I said, edging towards my bedroom.

"Something happened, didn't it?" she said, slightly bouncing where she sat. "Come on, Bella, tell me."

I quickly looked away, knowing full well that the famous Alice Brandon pout would be on her face. I had yet to see a single person say no to that pout. Jasper, in particular, was putty in her hands whenever she used it. "Please, Ali. I'm too tired to have this conversation tonight."

All of the sudden, her small face popped into my line of vision, the pout on full-force. I didn't even hear her move, tricky little pixie.

"Gah!" I said, jumping away from her. "Don't surprise me like that!" I whispered harshly. "I'll make you a compromise, okay? I'll tell you, very quickly, the gist of what happened at the party and then I'll call you tomorrow and give you full details. Deal?"

"Fine," she relented, clearly not satisfied, but knowing she wouldn't get anything better tonight.

"Okay, so, um…" I thought for a second. There was really no way I could put this subtly and get away with it. Might as well be blunt. "Edward and I are together now." I sort of mumbled it, not meeting her eyes. I wasn't ashamed of Edward at all, but I wasn't very open about my love life in general and Alice was my opposite in this aspect; she had no problem being open about it all while I was more reclusive.

I looked at Alice after a second and saw that she was bursting to ask as many questions as she could, but had to honor our deal. Her face was almost comical, it looked so torn. I gave her a few moments to relax.

"Wow," she said finally, letting out a big breath of air. "So you're a couple now?"

I nodded.

Alice bounced on the spot a little, no doubt trying to contain her bubbly-ness once more. She pointed a finger at me and waved it threateningly. "You better call me tomorrow, missy. _Before _noon, got it?"

I nodded again and then Alice smiled wide. "Bella, you have to invite him to dinner with the rest of us on Christmas!" she said excitedly.

"What? Why? He's probably already has plans with his family. He doesn't even know you guys very well," I said, automatically shooting down the idea.

"Yet. He doesn't know us very well, yet. Besides, Emmett is coming."

"Really?" I said, though with how much time he had been spending with Rose nowadays, I shouldn't have been too surprised.

Alice nodded, sensing an advantage. "He and Rose have been inseparable since… the incident. All she had to do was ask. He can never say no to her. She's going to be spending New Year's with his family though. His parents want to meet her."

"They must really be serious if she's meeting the parents," I said.

"Yup. Anyway, I'm sure if you ask him, Edward would be happy to spend Christmas evening with us. That boy is wrapped around your little finger."

"How would you know?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at Alice.

"Honey, I'm not best friends with Edward, but I've seen you two together, not together as in a couple, but I've seen the way he is when he's around you. Trust me, I just know." She walked over to the door and slipped on her coat. "Don't forget to call me tomorrow and remember to invite Edward for Christmas. Don't even think about lying to me about inviting him. I can always tell when you lie," she said, reaching for her purse. I stuck my tongue out at her as she slipped out the door, giggling.

After she left, I washed up and changed into my pajamas. I peeked into Marie's room to see her sleeping peacefully, the glow of her nightlight cast on her face. Satisfied, I went to my room to get some sleep.

The next morning, before the Call of Doom I had to make with Alice, I decided to phone Edward and get the Christmas invitation over with. I had his cell phone number programmed into my phone already. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Edward, it's me." Even though he couldn't see, I was unable to keep the smile off my face as I heard his voice.

"Bella? Hi," he said, sounding surprised and happy at the same time. "Is there something you need? Is something wrong?" His tone quickly turned concerned and I rolled my eyes.

"Everything is fine. I just wanted to ask you…" I hesitated and rubbed the back of my neck, glancing over to Marie's partially open bedroom door, where she was playing with her dolls. This was awkward, and the fact that I was almost positive he would say no only made it worse.

"Bella? What did you want to ask me?" The sound of his voice snapped my attention back.

"Um, Alice was wondering… well, I was wondering too, if you maybe wanted to come join us at her house for dinner on Christmas." There, I said it. Now Alice couldn't bug me about inviting him. "That is, only if you want to," I quickly added. "I know you probably already have plans with your family and I don't expect you to break them for me. I was just-"

"Bella," he said, cutting off my rambling. "It's okay. I'd love to join you and your friends on Christmas."

"Really?" I said, surprised. I honestly thought he would say no. "Did you have other plans?"

"I was going to eat dinner with my parents, like I do every year, but I'm sure they will understand. Emmett is already going to be out with Rosalie. Wait, will the two of them be there as well?"

"Yeah." I paused. "Are you sure your parents won't mind? I mean, Emmett is already going to be with us, so I would feel kind of bad to take both sons away for Christmas." I chewed on my bottom lip. It didn't seem fair and I didn't want to put a bad impression on his parents so soon. Even though I was already acquainted with Carlisle Cullen, what about his wife? All of a sudden, a thought struck me.

Carlisle knew me. He knew I basically worked for Edward. Workplace romances weren't forbidden, but they certainly weren't welcomed with open arms. Would he accept me if, no _when_ he finds out about Edward and I? Would he disapprove?

"Are you still there, Bella?" I heard Edward say. My silence must have worried him.

"I'm here," I said quietly.

"Are you okay? You sound worried."

"I'm fine. So are you sure your parents won't mind?"

"I'm sure. I'll see them Christmas morning anyway."

I smiled, pushing aside my worries for now. "Okay. I'll tell Alice. Thanks for agreeing to come."

"Did you think I would say no?"

Did he expect me to answer that?

Edward chuckled. "It's fine, Bella. Anyway, right before you phoned me, I was just about to call _you._"

"How come?" I asked, curious.

"I was wondering if I could take you and Marie out to lunch today. May I?" He asked like such a gentleman. A nice change from his demands the first few weeks he started working, I might add.

I was about to say yes, when something stopped me. Was it really wise to have Marie get to know him so soon? She already knew Edward, but that was before I realized my feelings for him. I didn't want her meeting him, getting close to him, and getting her hopes up, only to have them crushed if Edward and I didn't work out.

Then again, Marie wasn't completely ignorant of my dating. She's known I had been on dates before. After all, Alice had set me up on so many blind ones; Marie had to eventually figure out why Mommy was going out so often.

But she had never actually met any of the men I had been on dates with before. I never got far enough with any of them to feel the need to introduce them to my child.

Was having Marie spend time with Edward moving too fast? I liked Edward, a lot, and it wasn't like she was spending time alone with him. But still, it worried me. I didn't want her to become too emotionally attached to him so early on.

But… I felt more for Edward than I ever had before for a man. And if he felt as strongly for me as he claimed he did, then I knew this wasn't going to be just some little meaningless thing. Marie already knew and liked him. What's more, I would have never agreed to a relationship with Edward if I didn't take it seriously. I had more than just me to account for; I was a mother, so I didn't do casual flings.

"Bella?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Is something wrong, love?" he asked. I stiffened. "You keep going silent on me. You don't have to come to lunch with me if you don't want to. Bella?"

He called me 'love'.

No one had ever called me that before. Was he saying it as _just_ a term of endearment or did he mean something? Surely it was too soon for anything like that, wasn't it?

"Bella? Please answer me. I am really starting to worry, now."

I blinked and hurriedly apologized. He sounded so concerned. "Sorry. I'm fine. I'm just zoning out a little more than usual today." I let out a nervous laugh. "Anyway, I'll ask Marie."

I put my hand over the receiver and poked my head into Marie's room. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed and was reading one the books she borrowed from school to one of her dolls. "Marie?" She looked up at me.

"You remember Edward, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied.

"He and I are, um, really good friends," I said. Boyfriend felt weird to say, especially to my daughter, and Edward and I had never really talked about it yet, though I guess there was no other word for it. Besides, I wasn't exactly sure how to drop the 'Mommy has a boyfriend' bomb on her. This was all so new to me. "And he was wondering if we can go out to lunch with him. Do you want to?"

"We're not going to someplace really fancy, are we?" she asked, scrunching up her little nose.

I smiled. "No, I don't think so, hon. It's just a little lunch date."

"Okay then." She put down her book and doll and hopped off the bed.

"We're not going yet, Marie. Wait a little while."

I left her room and removed my hand from the receiver. "She's says okay, but only as long as we aren't going anywhere fancy," I said matter-of-factly into the phone. I heard Edward chuckle.

"No, it's no where fancy."

We made plans to meet at a diner not too far from my apartment at noon.

After saying our goodbyes, I checked the time. It was almost nine thirty, so there was still some time before we needed to leave. I sighed and dialed Alice's number into the phone. This was going to be a long conversation.

She picked up on the first ring, no doubt knowing it was me.

"Tell me everything," she said right away.

"Why, hello to you too, Alice. I'm fine, how are you?" I teased.

"Bella…"

"Okay, okay."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's shorter than usual. And it's sort of a filler chapter. I just wanted to get it out to you guys. Next chapter will be longer and not only have the lunch date, but also Christmas Eve. Lot's of stuff will be happening next chappy!** **Review!**

**So, I saw the sixth Harry Potter film. I am a die-hard Harry Potter fan ('Go, Go, Gryffindor!') and I enjoyed it. I really liked some scenes while others were like 'wtf?', but overall, I thought it was good. Not my favourite out of all the HP movies so far, but I liked it. I cannot wait for Deathly Hallows Part I! So, if you've seen the film, what did you think?**

**Peace out.**


	21. I'll Go Crazy

**A/N: Hey, thanks again for your endless patience. Things have been…not great, so that fact that all of you are so supportive puts a smile on my face. I'm trying to type up the next chapter quicker.**

**On with Chapter TWENTY-ONE!!!  
**

**

* * *

**_We made plans to meet at a diner not too far from my apartment at noon._

_After saying our goodbyes, I checked the time. It was almost nine thirty, so there was still some time before we needed to leave. I sighed and dialed Alice's number into the phone. This was going to be a long conversation._

_She picked up on the first ring, no doubt knowing it was me._

_"Tell me everything," she said right away._

_"Why, hello to you too, Alice. I'm fine, how are you?" I teased._

_"Bella…"_

_"Okay, okay."_

**Chapter 21: I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight  
**

I sighed and hung up the phone, finally done talking with Alice. She probably would have talked more if I didn't tell her I had plans with Edward for lunch, which she squealed at. I think my ears were permanently damaged after that phone call. Alice had obviously never heard the phrase "Silence is golden".

I checked my clock. It was just past eleven. I hurried to my room to get dressed and wash up before driving to the diner we were supposed to meet Edward at.

After making myself decent, I went into Marie's room. She was already dressed.

"Come on, munchkin," I said, smiling. "It's time to go. You ready? Do you need to pee before we go?" The golden question I _always_ asked Marie before going anywhere. She nodded and ran to the bathroom. After she was done, I helped her into her coat and shoes before setting off.

The drive to the diner was not a long one. It took about ten minutes to get there. I had eaten there a couple time before and it was a pretty good place.

Edward was already there and was waiting outside for us. As soon as our eyes met, I found the corners of my mouth lift into an effortless smile. Amazing how I went from wanting to kick his balls to not being able to look at him without smiling. He brightened when he saw me and came over as I climbed out of my car.

"Hey," he said casually.

"Hey, yourself." Too bad I didn't sound as cool as I hoped I would.

He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. I pulled away first and said quietly, "My daughter is here, mister, so remember to keep the PDA to a bare minimum, okay?" Marie wasn't able to see more than just my back from her angle inside the car.

Edward laughed and nodded. "Does she know about us?"

"No, but she's smarter than you think. She'll probably figure it out before I tell her."

He chuckled and then opened the door to the backseat, poking his head in. "Hey, little lady," he greeted. The perfect gentleman. "You ready to eat lunch with me?"

I heard Marie say yes and Edward moved away so I could take her out of her car seat. I set her on the ground and she immediately reached for my hand. She looked at me and quickly remembered her manners. "How are you, Mr. Edward?" She never called him "Mr. Edward" before. It was really cute.

"I'm very good, Marie. And please just call me, Edward."

Marie blushed a little and looked down. I wanted to laugh, but I knew that would've made her embarrassed, so I held it in.

Edward took my free hand in his and whispered to me, "Is this okay?"

I nodded and she led us into the restaurant. Marie stared at our linked hands and I knew I should tell her before lunch was over.

The hostess seated us in a little booth next to the window. I couldn't help but feel like we looked like a little family. We probably did, at first glance anyway. Though if you looked closely, it wasn't hard to tell that Marie wasn't Edward's child, with her black curls and big brown eyes. Some of the bone structure in her face looked like Jacob, too.

Edward and I sat next to each other across from Marie, who scribbled with crayons on the paper place mat the hostess gave to her. Edward continued holding my hand under the table.

The waitress was an older woman who had a soft spot for kids, as she cooed at Marie from the second she saw her.

Edward let go of my hand to look at the menu and I stuck the straw in the little carton of milk I ordered for Marie.

"So, are you like, Mommy's boyfriend, Edward?" Marie asked suddenly. I nearly spilled her milk.

"Marie!" I said, looking at her severely. I sighed; my kid lacked tact, like pretty much every other five-year-old on the planet.

"What, Mommy? He holds your hand like Uncle Jasper holds Auntie Ali's hand." I knew she was observant, and smart, so I wasn't really surprised. Just blushing like mad.

"Would you mind if your mom had a boyfriend?" Edward asked her, leaning forward a bit. Marie shook her head.

"No. But no kissing when I'm here. It's yucky."

Edward laughed and nodded. "You got it. No kissing in front of you. So, Bella, am I your boyfriend?"

My face resembled a tomato by now.

Might as well tell her now. She knew the answer anyway.

"Yes, Marie. Edward's my boyfriend," I paused. "You're sure you're okay with that?" I liked Edward a lot and I wanted to date him, but Marie always came first and if she wasn't comfortable with it, well...

She smiled and nodded. "I'm okay." She then went back to her drawing and I looked at Edward. He just grinned and shrugged. I was a little surprised by easy and immediate acceptance. I thought it would weird her out a bit since I had never had an official boyfriend in her life before. Huh.

"Have you decided what you wanted yet?" I asked her, changing the subject. Marie's eyebrows furrowed and she frowned. She pointed at something on her kid's menu.

"What does that say? I can't read it."

"Did you at least try?"

"Yeah, but it's long."

I looked where she was pointing. "It says 'Spaghetti and Meatballs'. Do you want that?"

"Okay."

I looked over at Edward to see what he wanted, only to find him looking at me, amused. "What?" I said.

He chuckled. "You're just cute when you're acting so... motherly." I blushed and glanced over at Marie and was grateful she wasn't paying attention to us. "I thought this the last time I saw you two together, but now I can actually tell you."

"Well, I _am_ a mom," I said teasingly.

For the next little bit, Marie chatted with Edward, telling him about the Christmas concert at her school. She had played one of Santa's elves in the play. Almost all the kindergarten kids had small parts, like playing the elves and children.

It wasn't until our food came that Edward turned back to me. Marie was busy stuffing her face with spaghetti and meatballs. I had to tell her to slow down.

"I talked to my mother about Christmas," he started. I tensed up a little. Did she not want him to spend Christmas evening with me? Did she get mad? "And she said she's all right with me having dinner with you and your friends." I breathed out a sigh of relief and he smiled. "There's just a little catch." I tensed up again.

"Okay..." I said cautiously. "What is it?"

"She wants you to come to our place for New Year's Eve. Rosalie will be there and my mom really wants to meet you."

"And your dad?"

"He knows who you are, but you'll just be... reintroduced to him outside of work."

I glanced at Marie. "What about Marie?"

"She can come if you want. It's up to you."

I really didn't want to discuss this with my daughter right across the table. "We'll talk about it later," I said. Edward nodded. I wanted to go, don't get me wrong, but I was nervous about meeting his mom and I didn't want to know what his dad thought about me now. I grimaced when I realized just how bad my relationship with Edward looked to an outsider; The extremely wealthy Edward Cullen starts dating his secretary, a young, middle-class, single mom. God, that made me sound like some gold-digger.

I was not only worried for myself, but for Marie. I didn't want her to be ridiculed upon.

I wasn't going to end it with Edward because of my insecurities, but it was incentive enough to take this relationship nice and slow.

I decided I wasn't' going to take Marie to Edward's parents' house on New Year's Eve. I wanted to try and ease her into the who idea of me having a boyfriend (though she already seemed really accepting) and having her meet said boyfriend's parents so early was not going to help her. It was throwing too much at her at once. Besides, I didn't want her getting too attached to Edward and his family so soon.

After lunch was over, Edward paid the bill, refusing to let me pay even a single penny. He then took my hand and walked Marie and I to our car. I noticed how small my hand was in his. His hand almost completely covered mine. Well, he was only two inches short of being an entire foot taller than me, so the difference in size shouldn't have been that surprising.

I secured Marie into her car seat and shut the back door. Edward walked with me to the driver's side. Before I opened my door, I turned round to face him. "I'll come to meet your parents' on New Year's Eve," I said. His eyes brightened and he smiled crookedly. It made me heart swell a bit. "But I'm not taking Marie with me. It'll be too much."

"That's understandable," Edward said. He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"And I can't stay for a really long time. Marie will probably pass out before midnight, but I still want to be home with her before, say, one or two a.m.."

"That's fine, too. You do what you need to for your family." I didn't know what I did to deserve such an understanding guy, but hey, I wasn't going to question it.

"Thanks," I said. Edward moved forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. We hadn't even been together for 24 hours, yet it felt so natural. There wasn't too much of that awkwardness that often came with new relationships; it was comfortable and above all else, _right._ I tried to keep that in mind whenever I would feel worried about Edward's parents (his dad in particular), how Marie was being affected, what others would think, or the security of my job. Yes, I was still nervous about my job. Edward said he wouldn't fire me, but would his father make the same promise?

I pushed the thoughts from my mind. It felt right to be here, with Edward, so I was going to just go with that.

Edward grinned and then leaned down, kissing me deeply. I sighed in contentment, loving the feel of his lips on mine, moving together. I broke it off and mumbled, my eyes still closed, "Kid in the car, remember?"

He chuckled before placing a quick kiss on my cheek. He then let go and bent down the car window, tapping on it.

"See you later, princess," he said.

I heard a slightly muffled, "Bye, Edward," from inside the car.

* * *

"I'll see you in a couple of hours, kid," I said to Marie, kissing her curls.

"Bye," she replied quickly before zooming out of site into Alice's house. Well, she certainly wasn't going to miss me.

"Bye, Jazz," I said as Jasper laughed and closed the door with a wave. Alice was out doing something girly with Rose, so it was just going to be him and Marie for the next little while. I was going to visit Renee. It was Christmas Eve and though I never looked forward to a visit with her and we hadn't spent a Christmas together in years, she was still my mom and I felt obligated to see her and give her her presents. Besides, Marie not only picked out a present herself, but almost made a Christmas card.

I wondered briefly if I should tell Renee about Edward. In the past few days since we had lunch, Edward and I talked on the phone quite a bit and he even brought take out one evening to my apartment to eat with Marie and I. It was going well, and he was being very understanding about my worries and boundaries. I hoped further down the road, once I was more sure of us, I could lift these boundaries.

I decided that if Renee asked about my life, if anything new was happening, I would tell her. Renee usually asked anyway so I knew it was inevitable.

"Hey, Mom," I greeted, trying to sound cheerful as I came into her room. She was sitting in a comfy looking chair, gazing out the window. Ever since her latest suicide attempt and her outburst with me, she had been quiet and polite. I wondered if she would open up to me again. Her doctor said she was doing better in her therapy. That the new treatment showed small signs of improvement, but that improvement only showed when she was talking to her therapist. To me, she was still a little distant. I hoped that would change soon.

"Hi," she said, turning to face me in her chair. I found another chair and sat opposite to her.

"How are you?" I asked, per usual conversation.

"The same," she sighed, then noticed the wrapped packages in my arms.

I smiled. "These are for you. I know it's a day early, but Merry Christmas. Here, open this one first. It's from me."

Renee looked surprised as she excepted the gift and looked at me. "I don't have anything for you."

"I never expected you to have anything, Mom. Just open it."

She ripped away the wrapping paper to reveal a couple of books and a movie I thought she might like. I figured she was bored a lot around here when she wasn't in her treatments. She had a TV which she could watch DVDs on, and books have always been a good way to pass the time.

"Thanks," she said quietly. I handed her another present.

"This is from Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie. I told you about them before; they're friends of mine. They heard I was coming to give you presents and wanted to get you a little gift of their own."

Renee opened it to reveal a very pretty designer scarf. Trust Alice to pick something that had to do with fashion. It was nice though; growing up, Renee and I never bought a lot of brand new clothes and certainly nothing as expensive as this.

Renee fingered the scarf silently for a moment. I knew she wasn't used to strangers being so kind, so I was hoping she was touched. Renee didn't like showing emotions outside of anger, frustration, and defeat, to me anyway, so I couldn't tell.

I finally gave her the last present with the card on top. "This is from Marie. She chose it herself and made the card."

Renee looked over the card. It was made from green construction paper and had drawings of presents and candy canes inside. She put it down after a minute and opened the gift. It was a little stuffed polar bear Marie saw at the mall. Marie had insisted that it was _the_ gift she wanted to give to her grandma, so I just went along with it. The bear had a small knit scarf around its neck with a matching hat. I didn't really know why Marie insisted it was the gift Renee _had_ to have; it looked more like something Marie would want for herself.

Renee was very quiet. She fiddled with the scarf and hat on the polar bear a bit before simply sitting it on her lap instead of putting it aside like she did the other gifts. It was times like these that made me truly believe that my mother was turning a new leaf and genuinely cared for Marie, despite the fact they hadn't met yet, and wanted to see her. Of course there were other times, like her angry outbursts, that made me believe she couldn't care less.

"So," she said, sighing and leaning back in her chair. "It's Christmas tomorrow. Any plans?"

I was grateful for the question. It filled the awkward silence I knew was around the corner. "Um, yeah. I'll be spending the morning with Marie at home. I'll probably be with my friends in the afternoon. Alice invited us to eat dinner at her place."

"Oh. That's nice."

Awkward silence.

Renee broke it again. "How's work?"

"Work is good. I'm off now for the holidays though of course. And Starbucks gave me a little time off too."

"You still work there?" Renee asked, looking out the window.

"Yeah." Truth was, before Renee came back into my life, I was thinking about quitting my job at Starbucks. I had had a pay raise because of a recent huge success Cullen Inc. had made and I worked there full time. I had a fair amount of money saved and my hours at Starbucks were diminishing because I was so busy with Cullen Inc. and I didn't really need the money nearly as bad as I used to. But then Renee came and since I was the one paying her hospital bills, I knew keeping my job at Starbucks was the smart thing to do. I went from working a single shift every weekend to working pretty much the full day every Saturday. It was just a few extra hours, but I took them.

I wasn't angry at Renee though for it. A little disappointed at first, but you gotta do, what you gotta do. I truly did want Renee to get better.

"Anything new happen?" she asked.

"At Starbucks or just in general?"

She shrugged and turned to look at me.

"Well, um..." Should I tell her or should I not? I knew I had to sometime, especially considering I was meeting Edward's mother next week. So... what the hell. "I'm kind of seeing someone..."

"Seeing someone? Do you mean you have a boyfriend?"

I sat up straighter, trying to grow a backbone. She was just my mom for Pete's sake.

_My psychotic mom..._

"Yes, I have a boyfriend. He's a nice guy. All my friends like him and Marie is fine with the idea of me being with someone."

"Be careful, Bella. They always lure you in with sweet words and promises..."

I wanted to roll my eyes. So now she suddenly decides to care? I tried not to say anything rude.

"He's sincere, Mom. Besides, I'm taking it slow with him since I have Marie. I don't want to rush into anything and then have her suffer the consequences. I'm not just diving in head first."

"Bella, you can't let this be another Jacob..." I tried not to wince at his name.

"I'm not," I said, frustrated. "Things were different with... him. I was a kid and I was lonely, especially with Rosalie gone. I desperate for attention. Things have changed since then. You know that."

"I just don't want you to end up like me."

I hated the lecturing voice she had taken on. She doesn't seem to care much about what else happens in my life, so when I tell her I have a boyfriend, she decides she want's to play mama bear?

"Mom..."

"I just don't want you repeating my mistakes by trusting the wrong man." Gah, I felt like going crazy with frustration.

"Mom, I appreciate your concern, but it's unnecessary. Besides, I already put my trust in the wrong man when I trusted Jacob." I sighed. "I shouldn't have, but I've still managed to clean up my past mistakes and I have a good life now. I don't think it's so much the man that was the mistake, but one's choices regarding not only the man, but the life God dealt her."

She knew what I was implying; that my father wasn't the thing that ruined her life. It was the choices she made not only dealing with him, but also after he was gone and she was stuck with me. I was put in the same situation, but I made different choices, which led me down a different path.

I did, however, remember that Renee didn't have as much help as I had, so I probably wasn't as fair as I should have been. Nevertheless, I think she did make poor choices after my father left, and that lead her to what she was today: a lost woman.

I waited for her to explode. I waited for her to get angry. But the longer I waited, the more she seemed to absorb and contemplate my words. Her face was first angry, then frustrated, then contemplative. Now she was confused and it slowly turned to defeat. She thought about my words and knew there was some truth behind them. I wasn't being completely fair since I had more help than she did, but there was still _some_ truth.

"Mom, I said quietly after a few minutes. "He really is a good guy and I'm trying my best to be careful. And if I crash and burn, well, let me deal with that myself. I'll be fine." I paused. "I always am."

Renee nodded before reaching over and lightly patting my hand.

For once, I left the hospital feeling lighter than before. It was progress.

I picked up Marie a little later and made tacos for dinner. I then gave her a bath, let her put out milk and cookies for Santa, and then put her to bed after reading "The Night Before Christmas".

I finally went to bed about an hour and a half later only to be woken up at a freakishly early hour to a little smiling face just inches away from my own.

"Santa came!"

* * *

**A/N: Review :) Thanks for all your endless patience. I'm not making promises since I don't want to break them, but the next chapter should be out sooner. It usually takes me a while since I also have another story that needs updating, but I updated that one very recently, so both that story and this one should have a new chapter soon. :D **

**Peace out.  
**


	22. We Wish You a Merry Christmas

**A/N: As many of you know already, I'm back to writing! It's great to be back and I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks for everything you guys have done for me. You've all been so understanding and I appreciate that.**

**Now, I won't ramble on for too long, since I'm sure you wanna just get on to the chapter. So, without further ado, here is the next chappy!  
**

**On with Chapter TWENTY-TWO!!!**

**

* * *

**_"Mom, I said quietly after a few minutes. "He really is a good guy and I'm trying my best to be careful. And if I crash and burn, well, let me deal with that myself. I'll be fine." I paused. "I always am."_

_Renee nodded before reaching over and lightly patting my hand._

_For once, I left the hospital feeling lighter than before. It was progress._

_I picked up Marie a little later and made tacos for dinner. I then gave her a bath, let her put out milk and cookies for Santa, and then put her to bed after reading "The Night Before Christmas"._

_I finally went to bed about an hour and a half later only to be woken up at a freakishly early hour to a little smiling face just inches away from my own._

_"Santa came!"_

**Chapter 22: We Wish You a Merry Christmas  
**

I laughed sleepily, opening up the covers as Marie climbed inside the bed with me. I was still mostly asleep as she snuggled up to me. I felt myself slipping back into sleep when Marie shook my shoulder and said, "Mommy! Don't go back to sleep!"

"Sorry, sorry," I mumbled. I loved Christmas and all, but I loved sleep maybe a tad bit more. Sleep was heaven.

"Can we go open presents now?"

I sighed and rolled over on to my back. How were children so chipper this early in the morning? They were little balls of energy. "Wait a few more minutes, hon. You go wait by the tree. I'll be there soon."

I felt her scramble away and I fought the grogginess, slowly sitting up. I stayed like that for a minute or two before finally padding over to the washroom to use the toilet and splash some water on my face. I then slipped on a robe and slippers, and joined Marie in the living room.

She was bouncing excitingly, a habit I think she got from Alice, and immediately sat down on the floor when I entered the room. I laughed when I saw she had already gathered her presents into a small pile. She couldn't read very well, as she was only five, but she recognized her own name when she saw it. She must have been checking every tag on every gift.

I sat down beside Marie and smiled at her. "Merry Christmas, baby."

"Merry Christmas, Mommy." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Can I open my presents now, please?"

I chuckled quietly and nodded my head. "Yup. Go ahead."

I watched as she tore the wrapping paper off of gift after gift. Since she was the baby of our family, Marie was always showered with gifts at Christmas time. It the one of the two days of the year, the other one being her birthday, when she was truly and utterly spoiled rotten.

After she was done opening all her presents, squeezing me tight from buying her that Tinkerbell movie, and drooling over the Leapster "Santa" gave her, she insisted in me opening my own gifts. I received designer clothes from Alice, a gorgeous new handbag from Rosalie, a couple of books from Jasper, and a bunch of general items like soaps, candles, and a bottle of wine from coworkers.

I was about to start cleaning up all the wrapping paper from the floor when Marie stopped me.

"Wait, Mommy. There's one more for you." She crawled under the tree and came back with a small package. It was clumsily wrapped and I instantly knew it was from her.

"Hmm," I said, trying to put a curious look on my face. "Who's this from?"

She pressed her lips together and waiting for me to unwrap it. I peeled away the paper to uncover a little box with a beaded necklace inside. I recognized the beads from the jewelry-making kit Rose bought Marie for her birthday a few months ago. I smiled widely at Marie and thanked her with a big hug. This was the first time she had given me a gift for something other than Mother's Day.

"Will you wear it when we go to Auntie Alice's tonight?" she asked and I agreed.

I went to the hall closet and pulled out a garbage bag to clean up all the wrapping paper. After the floor was free of golds, silvers, greens, and reds, I made Marie and I eggs and toast, which she dug into enthusiastically. Since we didn't have to leave the house until late in the afternoon, I let Marie stay in her pajamas, which I also did, while I flipped through the Christmas specials on TV and she played with her new toys.

Only a few minutes later, the telephone rang. I suspected it was Alice to wish us a Merry Christmas, even though we were going to see her later today.

"Hello?"

"Merry Christmas, Bella," I heard a familiar tender voice say.

I smiled. "Merry Christmas, Edward. Are you with your parents?"

"Yes I am. I just wanted to talk to you. I couldn't wait until later."

"I'm glad you called," I said. "Get any good gifts?"

I heard him chuckle. "Yes, some. Yours is my favourite, though." I blushed a little.

"My gift was pretty small, Edward. What did your parents get you? A new car?" Though I was only teasing. I wouldn't have been surprised if he said yes. His family was swimming in money. The only thing that kept Carlisle Cullen, who was a little over fifty, from retiring, was the fact he loved doing his job.

"No," Edward laughed. "It was small in fiscal value, but the fact it was from you, made it much more valuable than any other gift I received."

Swoon. I blushed brighter.

"You're blushing right now, aren't you?" he said.

"Maybe."

"What about you? Did you get anything nice?"

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see. "Yeah, I liked everything. Marie, however, is the one who really lucked out this year. The kid is in heaven right now."

"Presents are the highlight of Christmas for many kids. That reminds me; I have a present for Marie, too. Do you mind if I give it to her tonight?"

"But Edward, you already gave us something..." I remembered the beautiful CD.

"That was before you became my girlfriend. Also, that was for the _both_ of you. If things go the way I hope they do, I'll be seeing Marie quite a bit and I want her to like me."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Edward, you know she already thinks you're fine. But go ahead, give it to her. You don't have to ask my permission to give Marie a Christmas gift, unless it's something like a dog. Wait, you didn't get her a dog, did you?" Marie always wanted one, but they were a big no-no. I didn't have time or the money to take care of it.

"It's okay, Bella. It's not a dog." he sounded amused. "It's nothing alive."

"Good. And any future gifts better not be alive, too."

"I promise."

We chatted for a little while longer before a heard a female voice in the background, calling for Edward.

"Is that your mother?" I asked.

"Yes." He sighed. "I'm afraid I need to go now."

"We'll see you soon."

"I'll pick you up at five."

"My car has the car seat."

"Right. I'll meet you at your place at five."

"Deal. Bye, and wish your parents a Merry Christmas for me."

"Bye, sweetheart. And I will."

I hung up the phone and looked at the clock on the microwave. There still some hours to kill before Edward arrived.

"Marie," I said. She was still playing with her new toys in the living room. "Come on, let's take a bath." I waved some new Christmasy bubble bath beads I received in the air. "You and I have to be squeaky clean before we go to Auntie Alice's later."

"But..." she looked mournfully at her toys.

"Come on, they'll still be there when we're done."

Filling up the tub with hot water and bubbles, Marie and I got in at separate ends of the tub. She laughed as I gave myself a bubble mustache and I laughed when she made a bubble pile on her head. I washed her hair for her and even let her use her tiny hands to rub the shampoo through my own hair.

"Prune check?" I asked sometime later. It was Marie's rule that she only get out of the bath once her fingers were good and pruney.

She held up her hands, palm up, in front of her face and squinted in concentration. She then nodded her head. "Yep. Pruney."

I got out first, wrapping myself in a towel, then lifted her out of the tub, and bundling her up in her own towel. I helped her dress first before slipping on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I decided to let our hair air-dry.

"What do you want for lunch, munchkin?" I asked, opening the fridge.

"Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, please."

"Coming right up."

The next few hours passed quickly and soon I found myself dressed for Alice's Christmas dinner, sitting in my room, putting my earrings on. Marie, who I dressed first, was sitting on my bed, playing with the small pieces of jewelry that Rosalie and Alice had given me over the years.

"Alrighty," I said when I was finished. "Edward should be here any minute now. Come on, kid, let's wait for him."

We were only waiting for about five minutes when the knock on the door came. I opened it, smiling widely at Edward. He grinned crookedly back.

"Merry Christmas," he said, leaning down the peck my lips. I wanted to deepen the kiss, but needed to keep it G rated with my daughter not far behind me.

"Merry Christmas," I said back when we pulled apart. He looked questioningly at the necklace around my neck and I said, "Gift from Marie." I stepped aside for him to come in and Marie came up.

"Hi, Edward," she greeted him.

Edward knelt down so he was eye level with her. "Hello, Marie. Are you having a good Christmas, so far? Did you like all your presents?"

She nodded.

"Would you like another one?"

Marie's eye lit up and she shifted uncomfortably where she stood. I could tell she wanted it badly but at the same time, we always told her not to be greedy. She looked at me and I nodded.

"Go ahead, kid. Edward has something for you."

Edward held out a wrapped package out to her and she slowly took it. She then plopped herself right there on the floor and ripped away the wrapping paper, her eagerness breaking through. Underneath the paper was some Littlest Pet Shop toy. She squealed with delight and, to my surprise, stood up and gave Edward a lightning fast hug.

"Thank you, Edward." Marie's face quickly turned troubled.

"You're very welcome, but what's with the face?"

"I don't have a present for you. I gave my mom a present."

Edward smoothed his hand over her curls. "It's okay, Marie. You don't need to give me anything."

"Go put that in your room, Marie," I said, "We're leaving in five minutes, okay?"

She nodded and zoomed off, leaving Edward and I alone.

"Thanks for giving that to Marie. You didn't have to-"

Edward cut me off by putting a finger on my lips. "I know, but I wanted to. Now, promise you won't be angry?"

"Angry? Why would I be angry?"

"Because... I may have gotten you an extra gift, too," Edward confessed, a little sheepishly, but also with a twinge of excitement. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"But you already gave me something. You didn't have to get me something else. I don't have anything more for you," I said, not revealing how it made me feel slightly inadequate that he had so much money to spend on gifts for everyone and I did not. Now that he told me he bought me a second gift, I wanted to reciprocate with an extra gift for him, but Christmas time pushed my budget far enough.

"Relax, Bella. It doesn't matter to me that you don't have something in return. I didn't do this so you would feel guilty and buy me more things," he laughed. "I did thing because I want to spoil my girlfriend every so often. Is that a bad thing?"

I just shrugged and smiled at him. He was just being sweet, though I didn't tell him the real reason it made me feel uncomfortable. I'm sure he just thought I was being difficult.

"Okay, let me see," I said, keeping the smile on my face. He beamed and handed me a small box.

A Tiffany box. Oh boy, he was really pushing it with something so expensive.

I slowly opened the box to reveal a silver necklace. The charm on the necklace was a heart tilted to the side and made of a pattern of diamonds and pink stones. It was gorgeous.

"Edward..." I breathed. "This must have cost a fortune. I-it's too much-"

"Bella, don't worry about the cost. That's not an issue for me. Just please accept the gift."

I looked up into Edward's eyes and saw that he was silently pleading with me to take it. He really meant well with it and my heart did melt with the romantic gesture. I nodded and closed to box, standing up on my tip-toes to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back.

I pulled away and said, "Thank you. It's beautiful, I love it."

"My pleasure, sweetheart."

"I would wear it right now, but I don't want to crush Marie's little heart," I said, smiling and pointing to the necklace my kid gave me. He nodded in understanding. Marie then emerged from her room and I stepped away from Edward. I'll put this in my room." I indicated to the necklace Edward gave me. "Then we can go. Marie, did ya pee?"

"Yup."

"That's my girl. Now go put your shoes on."

When I came out of my room a minute later, Edward was holding up Marie's coat for her as she slipped her arms into the sleeves.

"Thanks," I said quietly to him as he helped me with my coat, too. Ever the gentleman.

I decided to let him drive my car to Alice and Jasper's place, since I knew he would be sulking the entire ride there if I didn't. He remembered the directions there from the time he was there for the Halloween party. The ride held little conversation, but that was fine. Edward held my hand and drove one-handed while I found a station on the radio which was only playing Christmas songs. Marie sang along with the ones she knew.

When we made it to Alice and Jasper's house, lots of Christmas greetings were shouted out as we entered. It wasn't a huge dinner party. Just Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Rose's Aunt Heather and Uncle John, myself, Marie, and Edward. I could smell the turkey roasting in the oven and Rosalie was in the kitchen, mashing the potatoes. Heather went off with Marie to play and the men were in the living room, talking about whatever men do.

"Need help with that?" I asked Rosalie, accepting the glass of sparkling grape juice Alice offered me. I refused the wine.

"It's okay," she said, waving away my hands.

"Here, Bella," Alice said, giving me a chopping board and knife. "You can chop carrots." She put some carrots on top of the board and I got to work.

We chatted aimlessly for a little while before Alice cleared her throat. "So, ladies," she said. She was holding her hands behind her back. "Guess what?"

We stared at her for a minute, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, Rose rolled her eyes and said, "Spit it out, woman."

Alice squealed and shoved her left hand in our faces. "Jasper and I are getting married!" I saw the ring that Jasper had picked out on her ring finger. I didn't remember it being there when we walked in.

"Oh my God!"

"Congratulations!"

"What's going on in here?" Heather walked in with Marie, saw Alice's hand and hurried over, snatching it up and examining the ring. "Oh, congratulations, sweetie!"

Marie came over to me and tugged on the hem of my shirt. "Mommy? What's going on?"

"Auntie Alice and Uncle Jasper are going to get married, honey," I said.

"And we'd like you to be the flower girl, Marie," Alice said excitedly.

"What's a flower girl?"

"You get to wear a fancy dress and walk down the aisle with a basket of flowers," I explained. "Would you like to do that at the wedding?" Marie nodded enthusiastically.

"When did he propose?" Rose asked.

"This morning after we opened gifts. I was about to get up to cook breakfast when he said, 'Wait, there's one more present.' He then grabbed a tiny box from under the tree that I didn't remember seeing there before and got on one knee! I felt kind of gross, since my hair was all messy and I was still in my pajamas, but it was perfect. I thought I was going to faint at first." Alice laughed then held out her hand to us again. "How do you like the ring? It's unique. I love it."

"It's beautiful," I said, trying to keep the rogue grin from spreading on my face. "It's definitely you."

"I know that look, Isabella Swan. What are you hiding?"

I shrugged. "Rose and I may or may not have helped him pick out the ring."

She gasped and lightly slapped both mine and Rose's arms. "You knew he was proposing this whole time? How long did it take him to choose my ring?"

"Of course we did," Rose took a sip of her wine. "And it took him damn hours to choose the thing. I don't even remember how many stores we went to."

"So have you talked about the wedding yet?" I asked.

"Yes, we want it to be at the end of next month, here, in Chicago."

"One month to plan an entire wedding, Ali? Are you insane?" Rose said.

"Hey, I know what I'm doing. I've had this wedding planned out since I was thirteen. Believe me, everything is in place and just waiting for me to make the call that will put it in action."

"Why am I not surprised," Heather laughed.

"So, it will be a winter wedding?" I asked.

"Yup. Most people have their weddings during the summer, so this will be different. And the the snow will look gorgeous in the wedding pictures, with the right photographer of course."

"We'll be freezing our asses off through these pictures, won't we?" Rose said, plopping a spoonful of butter in the mashed potatoes.

"You bet," Alice said. She then pointed her finger at us. "And you will enjoy it! Anyway, my parents will probably be flying in from Mississippi in the next three weeks and of course, all my other Mississippi family. Jasper only has a few cousins from Texas, so the majority of the wedding guests will be our friends and my family. And I have plenty of little nieces and nephews for Marie to play with, so don't worry about her being lonely. My sister Cynthia's daughter is the exact same age as she is, I think."

"You really _have_ been putting a lot of thought into this. Did you call your parents yet?"

"Yup, just after he proposed. They've only met Jazz once, but they like him enough. Actually, I think my mom liked him a little too much. She's a big ol' flirt. Just ignore her if she's all over your men. She doesn't mean any harm."

We talked about the wedding for a little while longer, until the guys came in.

"Talking about the wedding, love?" Jasper asked Alice, picking up her hand and kissing her ring. The happiness in his eyes, in both of their eyes, was blinding.

"Of course, soon-to-be-hubby. Don't expect to hear about anything else for weeks!" We all laughed, but Jasper didn't seem bothered in the least. In fact, it looked as if nothing would make him happier.

Edward came up to my spot by the stove, where I was cooking the chopped vegetables.

"Hey," I said quietly, wrapping one arm around his neck. My other arm was stirring the veggies. His arms went to my waist. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Be my date for the wedding?"

He chuckled and said, "I thought you'd never ask."

The timer went off on the turkey in the oven and Alice quickly broke away from Jasper to put on her oven mitts. "Stay back!" she said, as if she was conducting a dangerous mission. Even though she was tiny, she lifted the huge turkey out of the oven all by herself. Rose and I quickly put down some heat coasters for her to put the turkey on. She checked the temperature on it and nodded approvingly.

"It's ready," she beamed. "Bella, those veggies look done, too. Jazz, could you set the table while I cut up this thing. Heather, can you help me make the gravy?" With their orders, everyone dispersed, the guys following Jasper to the dining room, with Marie clinging to his back.

I turned off the stove and drained the water from the pot. "Rose, can you fetch me that dish?" I asked, pointing to the empty porcelain serving dish on the table. She handed it to me and I poured the vegetables in it.

After everything was put in their serving dishes and brought to the table, we all sat down and started to dish food on our plates.

"I don't want that, Mommy," Marie shook her head at me as I put some carrots on her plate.

"You just can't eat turkey, hon," I said, trying to reason. She pouted. "Mommy made these carrots. It would hurt my feelings if you didn't eat some..."

"Okay," she relented. I triumphantly spooned them on.

Once everyone's plates were full, Jasper held up his glass.

"To a very Merry Christmas and another year gone by."

We all lifted our glasses, even Marie, who was drinking out of a juice box, and clinked them together.

* * *

**A/N: Happy chapter is happy. We'll be back to the drama next chapter. I would just feel bad if I dampened their Christmas. :P Anyway, review and tell me your thoughts!**

**And in case anyone was going to ask, no, I haven't seen the New Moon movie yet. I know. Blasphemy! But I'll be seeing it tomorrow, so I won't be in the dark for much longer. I've heard a lot of mixed reviews, so I'm not really sure what to expect. :/ Even if it only got bad reviews, I'd still go see it, lol. Luckily, it didn't. **

**Peace out.  
**


	23. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**On with Chapter TWENTY-THREE!!!**

**

* * *

**_After everything was put in their serving dishes and brought to the table, we all sat down and started to dish food on our plates._

_"I don't want that, Mommy," Marie shook her head at me as I put some carrots on her plate._

_"You just can't eat turkey, hon," I said, trying to reason. She pouted. "Mommy made these carrots. It would hurt my feelings if you didn't eat some..."_

_"Okay," she relented. I triumphantly spooned them on._

_Once everyone's plates were full, Jasper held up his glass._

_"To a very Merry Christmas and another year gone by."_

_We all lifted our glasses, even Marie, who was drinking out of a juice box, and clinked them together._

**Chapter 23: Should I Stay or Should I Go?  
**

It was pretty late by the time we arrived home from Alice and Jasper's house. Marie was fast asleep in her car seat.

Edward came inside with me, unlocking my door since my hands and arms were busy holding Marie. Once inside my apartment, I immediately went to put her to bed. She was mumbling sleepily as I changed her into her pajamas and had her go to the washroom before tucking her under her sheets.

"Good night," I said quietly, kissing her cheek.

She just murmured something incoherent in return and rolled over.

Edward was waiting for me in the living room. His coat was off and he was flipping through a book I left on the coffee table while sitting on the couch. He looked up when I came out of Marie's room. I left her door open a crack as I always did and then sat down beside him. He put the book down and wrapped his arms around me.

"Tired?" he asked.

I nodded and nestled myself further into his embrace.

"You should go to bed," he said quietly. My eyes had drifted closed and I felt Edward's fingers lightly stroking my cheek.

I shook my head, I didn't want him to leave just yet. I wondered if he would mind if I asked him to stay.

I opened my mouth to ask, but instead I said, "You smell good." Wow, I was really far gone. I heard him chuckle. I felt it in his chest too.

"You need sleep. Come on, love, I'll tuck you into bed." He picked me up and began walking to my room when I felt him pause for a second. "The light is blinking on your answering machine by the way. You can check on them in the morning though."

I opened my eyes and shook my head. "No, I'll check them now. Let me down." When he looked hesitant I lightly smacked his chest. "Come on, you brute. Let me down."

Once my feet were on the floor I went to my answering machine to check my messages. I had two. The first was from Beth, my coworker at Starbucks. She wanted to know if I could cover her shift on Sunday since she had a family outing to attend. I decided to call her back tomorrow to say yes. It wasn't any trouble at all.

The second was from an unrecognizable number. I furrowed my eyebrows and listened to the message.

I nearly fainted.

_"Hey... Bella. It's me... Jacob Black.  
_

_(Long pause. Deep breath)_

_I know it's been a long time. Your mom told me years ago that you went to Chicago, so I looked you up in the phone book. Yeah, I'm in the area. _

_I've finished school and I'm working now... I just needed to know how you are. And, um... (long exhale) I was also wondering about my, um, our - no, your kid. I haven't forgotten. _

_I, uh, understand if you don't want to, but I'd like for you to call me back. I want to talk to you. Just one meeting is all I ask. My number is (000) 000-0000. _

_So... yeah. Call me. Please._

_And... Merry Christmas._

_(Beep)_

I was frozen on the spot. I couldn't move.

Was I dreaming?

There was no way Jacob Black could have contacted me. The last I saw of him was six years ago and he was just some kid who only cared about drugs, booze, and sex. School and work meant nothing to him. I meant nothing to him. Why was he contacting me now?

I didn't realize I was shaking until I felt a hand come down on my shoulder. Edward. That's right. He was still here.

The realization that Edward heard everything sent a cold shiver up my spine. I hadn't told him about Marie's father yet and he didn't push me. I wondered what he was thinking. I had nothing to hide in the fact this was the first time Jacob spoke to me, even if only indirectly, since I left Phoenix. But I knew he had questions. Who wouldn't?

I took a deep breath and turned around to face Edward. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous; it wasn't as if I was unfaithful to him or told a terrible lie. I had just been keeping this part of me, a big part I liked to ignore, hidden. I knew now was the time to let it out. Would Edward feel differently about me after this? No, he wouldn't. He already knew I had Marie at a young age.

Edward's face was carefully composed. I knew he was fighting whatever he was feeling. He wanted me to explain first.

He broke the tense silence. "I'm guessing that was..."

"Marie's biological father, yes," I said quietly. My eyes darted to Marie's almost-closed door and then back to Edward's face. "Please don't be angry." I didn't think he was mad, but I needed to make sure.

"I'm not angry," he assured me. "Just confused. I want you to explain. Please."

I started towards the couch when he stopped me. "Just tell me something first," he said.

I waited.

"Was this the first time he's contacted you since you came here? It sounded like it, but..."

I nodded. "This is the first time. I'm just as surprised as you are, Edward."

We sat down and I took a deep breath. I knew I had to talk to him about this sooner or later, but that didn't make it easier. How Marie came about was not something I shared freely. I twisted my fingers together. Edward noticed and took my hands.

"Bella, calm down. Maybe-"

"No," I shook my head. "I'm fine. I'm just not used to talking about this. I prefer to block this part of my past out of my mind." How ironic that Jacob, the guy I wanted to forget the most, was responsible for the best thing that ever happened to me. Nevertheless, it still, after all this time, hurt to think about him or say his name aloud. Not because I still loved him, if I ever did love him, but because of all the hurt that happened. How he is associated with a time in my life that I wished I could erase. I don't think I ever got over it. Not fully.

"His name is Jacob Black, but you know that already." I laughed a little nervously and Edward rubbed his thumbs soothingly over my hands. I sighed. Now or never. "I met him when I was fifteen, he was two years older. Rosalie had left to live with her aunt and uncle the year before and I was lonely. I needed a friend, so I turned to the first person who actually paid attention to me. I thought Jacob was so cool; he was a senior, drove a car, and had that bad ass air about him. He used to wait for me outside my apartment building, leaning against his car. I couldn't believe my luck." I paused and breathed deeply. I couldn't look at Edward while I spoke.

"Anyway, he and I started dating right away and since I had no other friends, he brought me into his circle. Not that it was very different from all the other circles around the neighbourhood. I started smoking. And drinking. There are some nights that are completely blank when I try to remember them, I was so drunk. I wanted to try the other stuff that Jake liked to buy occasionally, you know, like cocaine, but I didn't have enough money. Thank god for that, huh?"

Edward didn't say anything, just waiting patiently for me to continue. He rubbed my hands some more.

I looked down at our fingers. "That was the pattern for the next couple of years. Drink, smoke, spend nights with Jacob and sneak back home in the morning. School ceased to matter to me. Pretty much everything ceased to matter except for my boyfriend. My mother noticed the change, which made home even more of a nightmare to be."

Now was the harder part. "When I was seventeen I became pregnant. The baby was obviously Jake's. I was scared shitless, I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to quit drinking and smoking for as stupid as I was, I wasn't stupid enough to continue doing that with a baby inside me. I considered so many options. Keeping it, giving it up for adoption, even an abortion, though I knew I'd never be able to go through with that.

"What I knew for sure though was that I couldn't do this on my own, no matter what I chose. Jacob was the father and he said he loved me; I was sure he would help. But... I was wrong."

I felt my eyes well up with tears. Tears I preferred to keep inside, but couldn't stop. I had only told the full story to Rose and she told the others for me, with my permission. Other than that one time, I kept it locked inside and refused to acknowledge it. Telling someone was really what I needed, even though it hurt. Edward needed to know anyway.

"Jacob didn't want the responsibility, even though he really shouldn't have had the choice. When I told him, he worked himself up into a state of denial. He refused to admit it was his and accused me of cheating on him," I choked. "He told me it wasn't his baby, though I'm pretty sure he knew that wasn't true. He called me a whore and then left."

Edward gathered me into his arms. I buried my head into his shoulder. I could tell from the tenseness of his body that he was very angry, but he was trying to hide it from me.

"I never saw or heard from him again after that. He didn't come by anymore, didn't call. I knew then that I was in it alone." My voice was slightly muffled in his shirt. "I decided to keep the baby because, as selfish as it was, it was my ticket out of there. It was my motivation to get my life back on track. I knew that if I gave it up, I would have gone back to the way I was in no time." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and inhaled Edward's comforting scent.

"I contacted Rose shortly after that and then came here. I lived with her, Jasper, and Jasper's parents for a little while. Marie was born and when I saw her, I knew I had made the right decision to keep her. When she was still a baby, I decided to move out, or at least start saving for it. I knew I couldn't live off of their kindness forever, so I finished school and later landed that secretary job at Cullen Inc. I also worked that extra job at Starbucks as I tried to raise enough money for Marie and I to get a place of our own. I eventually did. Once our finances were pretty stable, I thought about quitting Starbucks, but then my mom came along, and well, you know the rest."

I slumped further into Edward's arms, feeling drained. There, it was all out. Edward was filled in about the biggest parts of my past. Now I just wanted to sleep.

I waited for Edward to react, but he remained silent, stiffly rubbing my back. It made me worried.

"Edward?" I said after another minute. I turned my head a bit and lightly placed a kiss on his neck. He visibly relaxed, but still was a bit tense. "Are you okay?"

He coaxed me to look at him, and I did. He wiped away the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs. "No, I'm not okay," he murmured. "I feel angry and sick that he did that to you and Marie. Just abandoned you because he didn't want to grow up. I feel angry at myself for not being there to help you."

I rose my eyebrows at him. "How could you have been there? You didn't know me back then. Don't feel guilty about that, Edward."

"I know, but it's an uncontrollable feeling. I don't like to see you hurt, I only like to see you happy."

"And I only like to see _you_ happy, so please, don't be angry and don't feel guilty."

"Just don't allow this Jacob to come within a hundred feet of me and I'll be fine."

I rolled my eyes and he pulled me back into his chest so his chin was resting on the top of my head. I felt and heard him take deep breaths. I didn't speak again until I felt the tenseness completely leave his body.

I gently poked his chest. "So now you know all my dirty laundry. What about you? You have anything I should know about?"

"Normal childhood, expensive education, great job." I envied him. "But you're changing the subject, sweetheart."

"What else is there to say?"

"Are you going to call him back? Meet him?"

I stiffened, remembering Jacob's message still on my answering machine. I closed my eyes, thinking. "I don't know," I finally said.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know," I said again. "On one hand, I want nothing to do with him. We've been fine without him so far and I'm sure we'll continue to be fine if he never popped up again. But on the other hand, I'm wondering what he wants. I'm thinking I may regret it if I refuse to talk to him. I'm confused."

He didn't say anything in response and we just sat there in silence. I was being completely truthful that I was torn over the whole Jacob thing. A part of me told me to just go see him, find out what he wanted, and then put the entire situation behind me. And then there was another part of me that wanted to stay as far away from him as possible. I knew seeing him would open up old wounds. It was inevitable. I didn't exactly want to open said wounds, not now, maybe not ever.

Which, of course, was probably stupid and unhealthy. It didn't stop me from wanting it though.

Edward finally broke the silence.

"Maybe you should see him. Just once."

I lifted my head and looked up at him. "What?"

Edward sighed and ran his hand over his face. This was hard for him. "If you don't, you'll just spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you did. You and Jacob obviously ended off things on a bad note, maybe this will help improve it somewhat."

"I doubt he's changed that much."

"You never know. Just think about it." I was quiet for a bit.

"I can't believe you want me to go see my ex," I said, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Believe me, it's not something I'm excited about." Edward looked at the clock and turned back to me. "It's late, you should go to sleep."

"I don't think I can," I said, though my body felt like it was about to fall apart.

"Then try. Come on." He lifted me and it felt nice. Not the carrying part, even though that certainly pleasant, but being taken care of. I liked it.

Edward walked into my room and then lowered me on the bed. He stood up a little awkwardly. I grabbed his hand before he could leave. I didn't want him to go yet. Gathering up the all of my courage, I asked him, "Could you stay here tonight? I don't think I'll be able to sleep otherwise."

The darkness in the room hid his eyes from me, so I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Please?" I whispered.

He leaned down and softly kissed my lips. "Of course," he said, breaking away.

I smiled and got off the bed. "I'm going to go to the washroom to change," I said. "I don't have anything that would fit you, so..." I looked him up and down, not knowing what to say. "You... just figure out what you want to do." I grabbed my pajamas, the big t-shirt and shorts I slept in and went to the bathroom. I hoped Edward wouldn't be nude when I returned. Don't get me wrong; it would probably be a glorious sight and I'd enjoy every minute of it, but that wasn't what I needed right now. I wasn't ready yet. Soon.

When I returned, Edward was under the covers. When I slipped in beside him, I was relieved to find him in his wife beater and boxers.

"Won't you be cold?" he asked, referring to my bare legs.

"Won't you?" I said back, then added, "I wear pants sometimes, but I prefer to wear shorts. Pajama pants somehow roll up my legs while I'm sleeping and it's really uncomfortable."

He just chuckled and then gathered me in his arms, so we were spooning. It felt warm and comfortable and just _right._ I could get used to falling asleep like this. It only took a moment for Edward to fall asleep, but I stayed up for a little while longer. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest and his breath against the back of my head was comforting. It eventually lulled me to a restful sleep.

It only felt like a few minutes after I closed my eyes that I was opening them again, though I knew it had to have been some hours. I suddenly heard Marie's little pitter patter around the apartment and I figured that was what woke me up. I closed my eyes again, knowing she would be inside my room within the next five minutes to wake me up. I snuggled farther into Edward's embrace.

I suddenly stiffened. Edward was here. He had slept in my bed. In fact, it seemed he was still sleeping in my bed.

It was too late to think about Marie's reaction when she suddenly opened the door and strolled in like she did so many times. She froze when she saw Edward beside me.

"Morning, baby," I said after a minute. She unfroze.

"Morning," she whispered and walked over to my side. "Why is Edward here? Did you guys have a sleepover?"

I nodded. "Yes, but he's going to wake up soon and we're going to make breakfast for you. Can you go wait in the living room? Maybe watch some TV? Is Dora on?"

At the mention of Dora, Marie left speedily, closing the door behind her. I breathed out a sigh of relief. I wasn't sure what to expect from her with her seeing Edward in my bed. Surprise, yes. Anything else? I was lost. I needed a guide to kids. She seemed pretty okay.

I felt Edward start to grumble and I turned over to face him. He opened one bleary eye at me and mumbled, "Was that Marie I heard?"

"Yes, and she's waiting for breakfast," I replied. I smoothed some hair away from his eyes. He pulled me close and nuzzled my neck, muttering something sleepily.

"Come on," I said, smiling. "Time to wake up."

He just grunted and then released me, sitting up. "Is she always up so early?" he asked, glancing at the clock.

"Everyday."

"We need to teach her the fine art of sleeping in."

"Maybe another time," I said and got out of bed. Edward made a whining noise. "Come on, I'm going to make eggs and toast." I pulled on a pair of pajama pants and left the room. Marie was sitting on the ground in front of the television, completely transfixed with her morning cartoons. "Not so close, Marie," I warned. "Sit on the couch, please." She moved back to the couch, not removing her eyes from the screen.

I used the bathroom then started breakfast. As I took out the eggs from the fridge, I spotted the answering machine and remembered what happened last night. Jacob left a message. He wanted me to call him back. He wanted to talk.

Talk about what? About Marie? About _us?_ I wasn't sure. He made it perfectly clear he didn't want anything to do with me the last time I saw him. What changed?

Edward came out of the bedroom, his pants on but his chest was still only covered with his wife beater. He was scratching the back of his head and shuffled into the bathroom. I wondered how he truly felt about all this. Last night I had dumped a load on him. How did he remain so collected all the time?

When he came out, he saw me paused and staring at the answering machine. He knew exactly what was going on in my mind.

"Hey," he said quietly and took my face in his hands. "Don't burn on hole in your answering machine."

I sighed and pulled away, going back to work. Edward didn't give up though. He came up behind me and placed a soft kiss on my neck.

"Are you still deciding?" he asked, his eyes darted towards Marie to make sure she wasn't listening. And she wasn't, she was far too absorbed by Dora. I knew what he was referring to. I shook my head.

"I don't know," I replied in the same hushed voice. "A part of me is saying yes and the other no. And I'm confused. What in the world he would want to talk about with me?"

"You two have a lot of history." As he said it, I could hear the slight sadness in his voice. I stopped beating the eggs and turned around. I reached up and put my hands on either side of his face and looked him in the eye. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Edward, please don't tell me you're worried about me going to see him," I said. His eyes betrayed him. "It's been six years, Edward. And yes, we do have a lot of history, but all of it, _bad. _The time in my life when Jacob was involved is a time I want to forget. I hate how I was and I hate how our relationship was. The life I have now, and all the people involved, is much better and something I want to hang on to. I'm not going to throw it away for someone like him."

Edward wrapped his arms around me. "I know, sweetheart. Forgive me. I just feel uncomfortable with the idea of you seeing this guy again."

"It's okay," I said. "I would feel the same way if our roles were reversed. But didn't you encourage me to see him last night?"

"I did, but that doesn't make it any less hard on me. I know this is ten times harder on you, so again, forgive me." He kissed the top of my head. "I still think you should really considering meeting him just this once. I will hate every second of it, but if it will help you, I want you to consider it."

"You and I both," I said, referring to hating every second of it. "I am considering it, but understand that this isn't an easy decision for me. It doesn't matter what he wants; it will definitely open up old wounds and that's something I'm not looking forward to."

"Maybe that's something you need to do. Keeping it inside all the time can't be good for you."

"I told _you_ about him, didn't I?"

"You know what I mean, Bella."

I sighed. I did know what he meant. "Just give me a little bit of time."

"You don't even need to ask. But don't wait too long, we don't know how long he'll be in the area for."

I nodded and pulled away. Before I could turn back around, Edward grabbed me again and put his lips on mine. I immediately melted into his body and put my hands in his hair. I opened my mouth, but tried not to get too carried away as I felt that familiar fire I seemed to always have inside me whenever he was with me start to grow. His tongue gently stroked mine and I moved my hands from his hair down to his chest. we continued to kiss for a few more seconds before we both pulled away and glanced at Marie, who still hadn't noticed anything amiss, at the same time.

Edward grinned at me and quickly kissed my forehead.

He always made a bad day a little better.

* * *

**A/N: Review! And QUESTION: Which would you like first? Jacob drama or New Year's Eve with Carlisle and Esme? Please let me know for next chapter. I set up a poll on my profile, so please go vote there, not in your review. It's just easier that way. If you don't have an account, feel free to post your vote in a review.**

**Sorry for the wait. It's that time of year when your home life (family, friends) and your out-of-home life (school, work) clash, with things being thrown at you from both ends. Yes, it's the holidays! **

**_A Vision Stained with Red_ will be updated in the next two days. Don't expect me to update on Christmas or New Year's day. Too hectic. :S**

**Peace out.  
**


	24. Enough for Now

**A/N: So the vote was pretty solid. 76% for Jacob and 23% for Carlisle and Esme (don't ask me where the hell the last 1% went. I have no idea). Thanks for being so great with reviewing and voting!**

**On with Chapter TWENTY-FOUR!!!**

**

* * *

**_"Maybe that's something you need to do. Keeping it inside all the time can't be good for you."_

_"I told __you_ about him, didn't I?"

_"You know what I mean, Bella."_

_I sighed. I did know what he meant. "Just give me a little bit of time."_

_"You don't even need to ask. But don't wait too long, we don't know how long he'll be in the area for."_

_I nodded and pulled away. Before I could turn back around, Edward grabbed me again and put his lips on mine. I immediately melted into his body and put my hands in his hair. I opened my mouth, but tried not to get too carried away as I felt that familiar fire I seemed to always have inside me whenever he was with me start to grow. His tongue gently stroked mine and I moved my hands from his hair down to his chest. we continued to kiss for a few more seconds before we both pulled away and glanced at Marie, who still hadn't noticed anything amiss, at the same time._

_Edward grinned at me and quickly kissed my forehead._

_He always made a bad day a little better._

**Chapter 14: Enough For Now**

For the next few days I went back to work, but I wasn't fully there. I had written down Jacob's phone number and then deleted his message.

I felt as if I could hear horror music every time I looked at that little sticky note.

What was he going to do if I agreed to see him? What did he want to talk about? I didn't delude myself into thinking he wanted to get back together and if he did, I wouldn't have him. My greatest fear though was what he wanted in regards to Marie. He knew she existed; I remembered telling him way back when that I didn't want an abortion. And he sort of acknowledged her in his message. Did that mean he wanted to see her?

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Some would argue that as the father, he had the right to see his daughter, but I gave him that chance and he threw it back at me. He gave up his rights to her that day.

But... I had no idea what he was like now and if he wanted to see her, what kind of hell he would give me to do just that. I didn't want to get caught up in a custody case. If he wanted a relationship with her, then maybe I would allow him visitation rights, after he's proven himself, but no custody. I didn't think I could ever trust him with custody.

I voiced these worries to Edward, who was nothing less than patient and comforting to me.

"What if he tries to take her away from me?" I whispered at night. We were wrapped up on my couch. I had put Marie to bed half an hour earlier. The only light came from the TV, which was playing quietly, neither of us was really watching.

Edward rested his chin on the top of my head and tightened his arms around me.

"I don't think he'd be stupid enough to think he could gain custody of her, even if he only wants partial."

"What if he tries?"

"Bella, give me one good reason why the court would take his side. You told him about the pregnancy and he turned away. He hasn't sent any money or contacted you in years. He doesn't know Marie at all. He doesn't even know what she looks like; they're complete strangers. He can offer no reasonable excuse for his absence in her life thus far. In a case such as this, you're in complete favour. He's done nothing while you've done everything. Besides," he said. "If he does take you to court, I can hire you Chicago's best lawyer to fight tooth and nail with him."

I relaxed a little, knowing what Edward said was true. I still worried, but I took comfort in what he said.

If Jacob just wanted visitation rights, however, I was conflicted. I said I may allow them, but only after he's proven himself. I've always wanted a father for Marie and it would be a lie to say that during the first year I left Phoenix I didn't dream of Jacob coming back, begging for forgiveness, and vowing to help care for our baby. Of course that never happened, and if he had called back then, I would have been more eager to see him, but now, I didn't even want to think about him.

I didn't want to take Marie away from her father and I was afraid that if he wanted to see her, and I refused, she would somehow find out and resent would grow in her. Especially when she's older. But he hurt us so much and I didn't want to expose her to disappointment, not from him.

Then again, you have to let them make their own mistakes for them to learn, right?

If she were much older, I'd ask her what she wanted, but she wasn't, and therefore, I made the decisions.

As confused, worried, and conflicted as I felt, there was one thing I was sure of, and that was that I had to contact Jacob. If I didn't, it would eat up at me for the rest of my life.

So it was four days after Christmas, on the twenty-ninth of December, that I called Jacob back. I hoped he was still in Chicago.

My heart was beating so fast as I listened to his phone ring on the other end, I thought I was going to pass out.

"Hello?"

Heart stopped. Flat line.

The sound of his voice, though I already heard it from the message, made me pale and start to sweat. Jesus Christ, we weren't even speaking face-to-face yet and this was how I was reacting. I had to pull myself together.

"Hello?" he said again.

"Um, hi," I said, trying to hide the emotions in my voice. "This is Bella Swan."

There was a pause on the other end.

"Bella?" It was barely a whisper.

I sat down at the kitchen table and put my forehead in the hand that wasn't holding the phone. My elbow rested on the tabletop. "Yes," I said quietly.

He paused again before clearing his throat. "I, um, I guess you got my message."

"Yes."

A long pregnant pause.

The emotions going through me, just at the sound of his voice, were overwhelming. I shuddered, thinking of seeing him face to face. I prayed I'd be able to handle it. The silence on the other end continued and I wondered briefly if he was still even there. Part of me hoped not.

Finally, I heard him exhale slowly. "It's been a long time."

_And who's fault is that?_ I thought bitterly, but instead said, "Yes, it has."

"Six years?"

"Six years."

"Wow."

"I know."

As stimulating as the conversation was, I wanted him to get to the point.

"Please stop with the small talk, Jacob," I said weakly. I dragged my hand down my face and placed it on my lap. I absentmindedly played with a loose thread on my pants.

"Sorry," he said. He paused again. I could tell he was just as uncomfortable and nervous as I was. This comforted me a little bit. He continued, "I want to meet with you. Please."

"Why?"

"I haven't forgotten about how and why we... broke up, Bella. I've changed, I've grown up, and it's been hanging over my shoulder."

"Closure?"

"And making amends."

I took deep breaths. "Are you living in Chicago, now?"

"No, I still live in Arizona. I'm just here on business. I leave the day after New Year's, though."

"This meeting isn't something you can say to me over the phone?"

"No, I want to meet you face to face. Please, Bella."

I tugged so hard on the thread, it snapped off. I rubbed my forehead again and bit my lip. This was the reason I was calling Jacob back in the first place, wasn't it? To meet him? To see what he wanted? It appeared he had good intentions, but I was far from trusting him. I closed my eyes and sighed before saying, "Okay."

"You'll meet me?" The relief was clear in his voice.

"Yes." I hoped I wouldn't regret it.

"Thank you, Bells." I cringed at the use of my nickname coming from him. I didn't want him to be so casual with him. It was far too painful and awkward.

"How is tomorrow for you?" he asked.

"It's fine," I replied.

We set up a time and place and then hung up, but not without more 'thank you's on Jacob's part. As soon as I hung up the phone, I went to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Marie was napping in her room.

I cried quietly into my pillow, hoping she wouldn't hear me and wake up.

* * *

"Bella, it will be okay," Edward soothed for the five hundredth time that morning.

It was the next day, and I was about to leave to see Jacob. I had told Edward about our phone conversation last night and though me made me feel much better, he could do little to calm my nerves. Today, he was helping me by watching Marie at my apartment for however long it took to see Jacob. I hoped it would not take long at all. For two reasons.

The first was obvious; I didn't want to be with Jacob any longer than I had to.

The second was that this was the first time I'd be leaving Marie and Edward alone together. Sure, they'd spent time together and got along very well, almost as if they'd known each other for much longer, but was he ready to look after her without me there? He volunteered to, but I couldn't stop worrying.

"Are you sure you two will be okay here by yourself?" I asked.

Edward pressed a firm kiss to my lips and said, "We'll be fine. It will only be for an hour or two and I'll call you if anything goes wrong, which nothing will."

"But-"

"Bella."

"Okay," I relented. I fidgeted some more.

"Do you need me to come with you?" he asked.

I shook my head. This wasn't the first time he asked me this and I declined him every time. I knew it was hard for Edward to just send me off by myself to see my ex, someone who I only remembered painfully. He was keeping his emotions to himself, though sometimes I caught glimpses of them in his eyes. Mixes of worry, anger, care, and protectiveness. I tried to reassure him the best I could, even if I couldn't even reassure myself.

"I need to do this on my own. Jacob doesn't know about you and I'm afraid anyone else with me will just make it worse. This is my, um, thing to deal with. I can't keep leaning on you for everything."

"I know. I just worry."

I reached up and kissed his cheek. "I know you do."

I stepped out of his arms and said louder, "Bye Marie. I'll be back soon."

"Bye!" I heard her say from her room. I kissed Edward one last time before leaving.

I could see the conflicted expression on his face as I stepped out the door. I wondered if it mirrored mine.

Jacob and I had agreed to meet at the coffee shop a few blocks away, at my suggestion. I wanted a neutral place. A safe place. As I walked down the street, my mind kept giving me pep talks, trying to prepare me for the inevitable onslaught of feelings upon meeting him. I wrapped my coat tighter around me, not only to block out the December chill, but almost as if warding off what was to come.

I reached the coffee shop far too quickly for my liking, but entered swiftly, before I could chicken out. I blinked, hit by the warm air inside, and looked around for Jacob. I spotted him almost immediately.

He had definitely changed. I no longer saw the nineteen year old boy I once knew, who loved cars, motorcycles, booze, and drugs. Instead I saw a... well, a very normal looking young man. His hair was cut, his face more mature, and if I was a stranger who saw him on the street, I would think him very respectable.

He saw me just as I saw him, and I could see him looking me up and down. Not checking me out, but seeing how I've changed.

With a deep breath, I started slowly walking towards him. I was right about one thing; the emotions I felt at seeing him were almost smothering me. On the outside I kept my composure, but on the inside, I felt there was a hurricane. Anger, betrayal, sadness, frustration, and disappointment welled up the most. They were swimming in my eyes, I was sure. But memories of our good times together were there too, and that just made the disappointment all the more bitter.

All these years, I had hoped I had moved on from this, to put it lightly, bump in my life, but I knew I hadn't. Hopefully, this meeting would help me let it go.

I reached his table and he motioned to the chair across from him and smiled lightly. Or he tried to smile. Nevertheless, his face looked almost calm. Such a contrast from the last time I saw him.

"Bella," he said quietly. Almost a whisper. I nodded back in greeting. I didn't trust my voice yet. "Thank you for meeting me," he continued.

I nodded again.

"So... how have you been?"

I twisted my fingers together. "I've been good. You?"

"I've been good, too. I've cleaned myself up. I'm not an addict anymore."

"That's good."

He fidgeted in his seat, breaking away his calm and revealing how nervous he was.

"Um, as I told you over the phone, I've changed. I've made many amends in my life, but this - you - has been hanging over me for years. I want to get closure and then finally move on."

I internally rolled my eyes. Typical Jacob. He may have looked different, but he was still the same. He just wanted to meet me to ease his guilty conscience. Not to benefit others, just himself.

Instead of calling him out, I just nodded for the third time.

"I want to know about... um, about the, uh, the..." he stammered, and I knew immediately what he was talking about. Or _who_ he was talking about.

"You want to know about the baby," I said. This time it was his turn to nod.

"Did you... keep it?" he asked.

"I did. She's five now." I stared at the tabletop.

Silence.

He spoke again, "What's her name? And where is she?" He looked around, as if she would somehow magically appear. I guess the drugs did a number to his brain cells as she obviously wasn't with me.

"Her name is Marie and she's at home with my boyfriend," I said shortly.

Jacob looked back at me. "I see."

We sat there for a minute without saying anything.

"Did you want anything to drink?" he asked, nodding towards the front counter. I declined.

"No thanks." More silence.

Finally becoming annoyed with hedging around whatever he wanted to do, I said, "Jacob, what do you want?"

He sat up straighter, seeming as if he was preparing himself for something. "I wouldn't be surprised if you never want to see me again and it must have been a shock, a bad one, when you found my message. I promise I will get out of your hair after this." He paused. "I just wanted to make sure you're all right. And I want to give you this."

He pulled out an envelope from his coat pocket and put it on the table in front of me. I looked down at it questioningly.

"What is this?" I asked, picking it up.

"Open it."

I glanced up at him, but his face gave nothing away. I gingerly opened the envelope, as if there was a bomb in there, and pulled out... a cheque.

For ten thousand dollars.

I dropped it on the table as if it were on fire.

"Jacob!" I hissed. "What is this?"

"It's a cheque," he replied, looking at me as if I were an idiot.

"For ten thousand dollars!" I said, in an angry whisper. "Why are you giving me this money?"

He looked shocked at my anger. "It's for Marie," he said. "After I picked myself up and went to college, I sold my car and my motorcycle. I knew I should have given you money long ago for the baby and saved up for the day I would meet you again. I'm not filthy rich, but I have a good job."

"Jacob, you can't buy my forgiveness."

"Just take it, Bella."

"I can't," I said, putting it back in the envelope. "And what do you mean you'll 'get out of my hair after this'?"

"I meant exactly that. I promise I won't try to contact you in any way after today. I won't bother you again. I'm sure that's what we both want."

"Now I really cannot except money from you." I pushed the envelope back to him. "You don't even _want_ to see Marie?"

"Bella, you have to know that I never wanted kids. Not with anybody, not just you. How the hell can I make a good dad if I don't even want to be one? Besides, isn't that what you want? Would you let me see her if I wanted to?"

"I... I don't know," I answered honestly. I wasn't sure how to react. Relief he would never show his sorry ass around here again, or anger that he didn't even care enough about his own kid to want to meet her. It was tearing me up, the conflicting emotions.

"You know this is best. I have a girlfriend back in Arizona and she feels the same way about kids as I do. I didn't choose to have a baby with you."

"And you think _I_ did?" I said darkly. "You shouldn't even be given the choice. What kind of 'amends' is this, Jacob? Toss me a cheque and then disappear again? Do you feel that just because you've given me money that you've done your duty as a parent? That giving me this cheque is giving me your responsibility as well?"

He didn't know what to say.

"No, wait. You tossed away your responsibility years ago. Jacob, this doesn't make things better. Giving me money and then turning away is not making up for your actions."

"What do you want me to do? Did you want me to file for custody of the kid? We're strangers! I don't want to be tied down with a child for the rest of my life!"

"It shouldn't matter what _you_ want. I wanted many things and I never got them."

"You could have given her up."

"I never said I didn't want the _baby_ you asshole. I'm saying that you have a responsibility, whether you chose it or not, and just like the first time, you're taking the easy way out; running away. You say you've changed but you haven't. At all." I quickly breathed deeply and closed my eyes, trying not to cry. I couldn't show I was weak. "After I got your message, I was thinking about giving you a chance with Marie. Albeit, a small chance, but still a chance. She's still young enough that you could have easily fit into her life. Even with just visits and phone calls!"

"Just take the money. This isn't what I want. I'd also appreciate it if you never told Marie much about me. I don't want her looking for me when she's older."

I wanted to take his head and smash it into the table, like a damn action movie, but resisted. He was a lucky bastard that I did.

I stood up and put on my coat. "No, I won't accept your money. I don't want it." I shook my head. "After everything that's happened today, please stay true to your promise and never contact me again. Goodbye."

I turned to leave and noticed we attracted the attention of several people in the shop. I quickly mumbled an apology and hurried towards the door.

And then I left.

Away from someone worthless.

And towards two people worth everything.

I never saw Jacob Black again.

* * *

**A/N: Slightly shorter chapter. Happier times coming. Review please. And no, I didn't misspell "cheque". "Check" is the American spelling and I am Canadian. :) By the way, in case you were wondering about the chapter title, it is after The Fray's song, "Enough for Now". It's on the playlist.  
**

**January is hell month for me as it comes with these horrid things called exams. You guys have been SO great with patience and understanding. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**This story is nearing to a close, I think. There are a couple of major loose ends to tie up (Renee... Rosalie...) but I think it will be finished in about six chapters, most likely. I have a plan to get this story done by the end of winter at the latest so I can concentrate on finishing _A Vision Stained With Red_. I have many new story ideas, one in particular which I've been writing in my head, that I want to get started on. As I work these out, I may be removing and/or adding story ideas to my profile, so don't be surprised if an idea that was there yesterday, is no longer there tomorrow. :)  
**


End file.
